4/23/2025

I would like to inform the public that I am still on my bullshit 😁😁😁

Celebrated my last midterm (note I still have finals in a week and a half BOOOOOOOOO) by drawing for several hours. So fun!!! And relaxing!!!!!!!! Me when engaging in my hobbies is AWESOME and makes me feel good?!?!?

Speaking of feeling good LOLLLL okay so aside from finals I also have group projects. Plural. IT'S OKAY THOUGH the projects are coming along fine but for one of them I was writing a section of a report on Monday right. Dawg I felt like I was DYING idk what the hell it was. Absolute worst I've ever felt writing something for school bc usually it's fine sometimes I struggle to word things and my thoughts wander but it's fine yk. THIS was like a mix of boredom and really not wanting to do it PLUS struggling to write and idk man it was AWFULLLLL I had to rest and recuperate for several hours afterward bc it tired me out so damn much. Shit's CRAZY out here.

Anyway. I am finding myself with a strange amount of free time just bc all my hw assignments are done. All that's left is project work and studying for finals. I have to take THREE FINALS out of my 5 classes and one of those finals is optional. So I'm kinda chillin!!!!! (Update I am now only taking 2 finals I'm CHILLIN)

Starting with Illusion Shift. LOL. I'm never beating the yaoi allegations siiiigggggghhhhhhhhh

This is kinda based on the last time I drew these two??? With CanonxAU stuff. Also I thought it was funny LOLLLLLL bi panic is just a canon event for Oreo okay. Thought bubble is bc he pretty much JUST reconciled with Ph and he's already having doubts abt his current relationship and now the universe is telling him he's bi. Like what the hell man.

Also Ph's hair FINALLY MAKES SENSE TO ME I remember struggling with him really bad a few months ago. I love improvement 😋😋😋

Oh yeah the cutoff text on the left of the first panel is from a TPOT drawing I did bc the episode gave me some inspo. It's kinda shitposty LOL but jic you were curious ✌️✌️

Childhood friends 😭😭😭😭😭 Ph who is lwk a social outcast is understandably protective of the one friend he managed to make. Ik this is a thing kids will sometimes do lol and I felt that a younger Ph would sort of think this way (rigid thinking tehe). Oreo's hair is black and uhhhhh coily(???) here bc this is when they were younger so I imagine he hasn't bleached/straightened it yet 😋😋 same logic for Ph bc he doesn't have his highlights.

Idr if I talked abt the """new""" IS chapters but oh my GAWWWWWD bro Ph being closed off bc he doesn't wanna be clingy or lame 😭😭😭😭😭 my sweet sweet boy. Bro misses his best friend?????? Uhhh my thoughts on that are not very coherent I'm just rotating that in my head going like 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Surprise Kitkat appearance.....my hc for why these two clicked so well is bc of the neurodivergent solidarity 😎😎😎 HIGHKEY so many of my friends are neurodivergent and some of them have expressed that it's harder to be friends with a neurotypical person when the NT doesn't try to understand them. So that's what inspired this drawing. I think it's kinda funny if Ph is unaware of it but Kitkat is like "oh this guy has the tism for sure" lol. I also feel like Kitkat is undiagnosed but she suspects she's ND (projection btw).

Tangent idr if I've mentioned this before but once I implied I wasn't autistic to some of my Discord friends and like 4 different ppl were basically like "wdym you're not autistic you totally are" LOL and I went "idk if I am though" and then I remembered all the bullshit I post here and went. Hm. Very funny experience. Ik I joke about being neurodivergent sometimes but I actually don't know for sure :/ my behavior and thinking patterns aren't really severe enough for me to justify a self diagnosis I feel. And I know my ass is never going to try to get a professional opinion LOL so ig I'm just sitting here.

Anyway!!! For Kitkat the first 2 points are pretty explicit. This girl talks abt whatever the hell pops into her mind apparently. Associative thinking and memory am I right. But also easily getting distracted by random ass things. Stimming is picked from her behavior across multiple chapters like biting her pen and swishing a drink. Also it just feels very hercore lollll smthn smthn projection.

4th point is how she calls herself an introvert but she's also rlly perceptive and a good conversationalist and also tends to talk a lot. It sounds contradictory but it makes complete sense to me. I think her whole "everyone knows of her but no one knows her" thing is a consequence of that. Like her particular flavor of neurodivergency lets her talk to people like normal and she's learned how to mostly fit in (neurodivergency in women moment) but she's simultaneously not normal enough. And story supports this bc she has a lot of ppl she's friendly with but barely anyone she's friends with bc there's a distinction there ☝️🤓 I think there's more that goes into that but idk if I can fully articulate it + idw this section to drag on lol.

For Ph his rigid thought obvs comes from fixation on the rules. Sensory issues inspired by that one chap where he's at the Halloween party and immediately locks himself in the bathroom bc he got overstimulated 😭😭😭😭 also I think there's a few different scenes on his senses vs emotions so there's that too. 3rd point is how he bumps his head into walls when he's chiding himself for doing something stupid 😭😭😭😭 idk if that's a thing NTs also do but it's like. Lacking other ways to express your emotions in the moment so you resort to self violence/stimming. 4th point is why it's so hard for him to make friends LOL touching on what I said earlier abt friendships between NTs and NDs. Ph can't mask his fixations/be fluid which makes ppl frustrated with him.

TLDR Looking at these two through the neurodivergent lens is super fascinating 😁😁😁😁 autistic Ph hc my beloved. Is there a neurotypical explanation for this man. I didn't think so.

Oh btw. Today I got some milk tea with oreo crumbs and pudding and went hehehe in my head LOLLLLL my blorbos <333333

ALSO I got my work schedule for finals today I'm gonna work 9 hour shifts for 2 days......fascinating. It'll be my first time working for that long in one shift so that'll be interesting I think. Actually this is kinda funny bc I have my weekly hours set for 15 a week. During finals week I'm scheduled for 24.5 hours. Not necessarily a bad thing bc I get more money this way but I'm also sitting here like how did this happen LOLLL

LOLL based on my reread of IS where I misread "can't" as "cunt". I drew this in my simpler style bc lwk the composition in my head wasn't working out and I got pissed off and impatient.

4/24/2025

Okay this TECHNICALLY isn't an AU but it's also not entirely based in canon either so like. Whtvr. Oreo Luka LOLLLLL my stupid ass. The drawing on the left actually crosses over into the 'cunt' from the prev drawings and honestly. True. LOL.

I directly referenced the videos for these poses btw which is why left drawing Oreo looks kinda....you know 💅💅 lol also PC HYUNA !!!!! I love Oreocup guys I sure hope these characters aren't doomed at all hahahahahaha 😁😁😁😁😁 I'm thinking about a line from one of the extra lore comics. You love me more than you love yourself. Uoughhhh 😭😭😭😭 I had to keep moving forward in every moment but you were my one and only weakness. FUUUCK 😭😭😭😭😭😭

FemPh LOL bc I thought she'd be the type to pull on her hair when stressed 😭😭😭 originally I was gonna draw this with regular Ph but I realized his bangs are too short and it would look awkward. He for sure has some other kind of behavior though. As seen in eps 7 and 9. Anyway femPh definitely knows she's not SUPPOSED to be pulling on her hair like that but she can't help it she needs a physical outlet otherwise she'll bang her head into walls or something 😭😭😭 If it's REALLY bad I feel like she might start actively pulling her hair out. Like episodes 9 and 10. Coughs.

Oreocup personality swap I brought up a few chapters ago LOLLLLLLL I thought about it too much so. Here we are.

First of all PC with longer hair bc she's not that much of a tomboy anymore. Still relatively short for practical reasons but she def is more feminine. It's not a complete 180 idt, she's still pretty witty and occasionally sarcastic but it's a significant change. Also really quick I want to comment on the uhhhhh ahoge(???) that I always draw on her lol I have no idea where it came from. It's really silly though and I like it so I'm keeping it.

I kept their backgrounds the same so she still grew up being a second mom. Like canon Oreo she has a lot of people pleasing tendencies which I think is influenced by both her dad leaving and her mom consequently having to rely on her taking on more responsibility. Acts of service PC is much more explicit here 💪💪💪 she probs asks Ph and Oreo if she can do anything for them and might get a little anxious if she's not in service. Makes a bit of an interesting dynamic bc swap Oreo is more emotionally isolating and I think Ph also leans toward acts of service as his primary LL. So Oreo ends up being a bit of a wall (parallel to their canon dynamic) while she and Ph have an almost comical back and forth 😭😭😭

She def has self-esteem issues like canon Oreo but it's not the exact same I think. I mentioned the people pleasing tendencies are very similar but I feel like where Oreo is more so ppl will love and accept him, swap PC is bc she doesn't want to get abandoned again + it's just been ingrained in her from a young age to be in service to others and that gets her affirmation and gratitude. Like somewhere inside her she probably believes her dad left bc she wasn't good enough 😞😞😞😭😭 which leads me to the uhhhh aspect of looking for a SO that canon Oreo has. For swap PC it comes from a place of wanting stability and possibly someone to take care of her for once while also believing she's not good enough for that. She's not as loud about it as canon Oreo is if at all but there's def a tendency to romanticize. SIGHS. On a lighter note she also has the overdramatic flair that I usually write Oreo with. So there's that!

Brief aside I was sipping on a canned energy drink some hours ago and like I only drank half of it but I still feel wired 😭😭😭😭😭 and I feel like I can't concentrate that well I just have energy that's going nowhere. Do you see Oreo's jawline I could not for the life of me draw it in a way I was happy with and I'm blaming that on the caffeine. Even writing this my thoughts feel very frazzled 😭😭😭 Everytime I drink something that's specifically caffeinated it never ends well. Fml. Atually I did have this uhhh I think it was apple butter latte once and it was awesome. I did specifically request a reccommendation with not a lot of caffeine though I'm pretty sure. Anyway the other half is sitting in the fridge for tomorrow ig.

OKAY MOVING ON

Oreo is less eboy obvs he still has piercings and layers but it's less out of flamboyance and wanting to appeal to others and more bc that's what works for him. He's a lot more emotionally independent but like I said before it's also to the point where he's emotionally isolating and guarded/deflective like canon PC.

I don't rlly touch on my thoughts on Oreo's background very much. I think growing up his emotional needs weren't tended to very well bc his parents were pretty hands off and expected him to be self-sufficient bc he's a guy. So for canon Oreo that led to a lot of his issues with being loved and accepted, but for swap Oreo I imagine he ends up rolling with it which led to the aforementioned emotional isolation. He's grown up so independent he doesn't really believe people can be invested in his emotions or him as a person which results in skepticism when he's met with someone who is genuinely interested in getting to know him. Like the scene in ep 9 when he asks Watermelon why she asked him out for no reason it's basically like that. He doesn't know how to handle emotional sincerity which manifests in sarcasm and repression 😭😭😭 Deep down he definitely craves closeness and connection though.

I really really want to say that he has a tendency to tease like how I write canon PC and he DOES have her wit and bluntness but fuuuuuccccccck idk if that works with how his character is set up. He grew up very Lonely and had to learn to be self-reliant. He didn't have someone to take care of like PC does and he didn't have anyone to invest in his silly side. I think it's definitely There but it takes effort to get to that point. Bro has toxic masculinity??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 fml.

FUUUUCK I told myself I wasn't gonna get attached to this AU but now that I'm writing and making an effort to think about it I am getting a Little attached. Not on the same level as Dragon or NC but idk I might end up drawing Oreocup Swap once in a while. Making AUs is hell.

(Slight tangent again but I been thinking abt Dragon AU recently and remembered how much I still want to do for that AU. HELLLLL I'm tempted to make a drawing idea list for everything I want to do but I fear once I do that the "well now I don't wanna" feeling will kick in. So. They will stay in my head for now. Anyway moving on)

(Okay so I ended up going insane and writing something for Dragon AU. Like full on writing. I will share next time I make a Dragon AU chapter LOL anyway moving on x2)

I think other than that everyone else is the same personality wise. Now ofc this WILL change the dynamics between och 😭😭😭 I feel like this AU consequently makes Oreo and PC more heteronormative/fit in more conventional gender roles which I'm not the biggest fan of. Tbh. It is what it is I said through gritted teeth. Realizing this might be one of my weaker AUs. Idk I'll see how I feel when I'm not buzzed with caffeine 😭😭😭

The first consequence I can think of is that Oreo and Ph don't become friends as quick as they do in canon 😭😭😭😭 Oreo isn't intimidated by Strawberry so he doesn't seek out Ph. It's more likely they end up butting heads a bit or just having a bit of a formal relationship at first. Not a lot of softness between them. Sighs break my heart why don't you.

I think what ends up changing their relationship a bit is ep 6 🤔🤔🤔 when Ph loses his voice so he gets Oreo to help him with the challenge out of necessity (bc Oreo is still the person he's closest with on the team even if it's not by a lot). It ends up basically the same as canon LOL but what it does for them is give them space for some familiarity. I think specifically toward the end Oreo stops trying to actually decipher what Ph is trying to do and just starts being absurd with it. This horrifies Ph a Little bc Holy Shit that is Not what he's trying to do but it ends up well enough and he can't exactly argue with results. Mostly bc he couldn't speak LMFAO but do you get what I'm saying. Fuuuuuuuccck I'm gonna make a comic about this aren't I. HELL ON EARTH.

Any. Way. Something else I thought of is episode 9 😭😭😭 Watermelon doesn't target Oreo bc it's obvious he wouldn't fall for that so I think in this AU she targets PC instead. Fucking Puddingmelon toxic yuri what the FUCK AM I DOING 😭😭😭😭😭 However. I think it could be interesting if PC initially tries to stay in both alliances at the same time. Watermelon probably ultimately convinces her to leave Ph and Oreo but bc PC doesn't have the performative ego canon Oreo has, there's less fallout. In canon Oreo leaves very suddenly and confidently but in Oreocup Swap PC leaves with more explanation. Hence, Ph doesn't blow up at Oreo but he definitely is still thrown off-rhythm by the changes. Also bc PC isn't as singleminded on finding a partner Ph probably isn't as annoyed by it. Hm. Idk this probably needs some workshopping. I'm literally thinking of lore as I write so this is the first time I'm considering all of this LOL

I'm also realizing that this isn't a complete personality swap but whatever man my AU my rules. It's boring if it's a 1:1 swap bc then they're just the same person with a different name 😭😭😭 I gotta mix and match

Okay so it's a few hours later now and my energy levels returned to normal but for some godforsaken reason I went to take another sip of the energy drink AND NOW I FEEL INSANE AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 ONE SIP. I do wonder how much of this is a placebo effect bc that is def having some effect but ohhhh my GODDDDDDDDD anyway. I'm fine I said looking like a crazed animal

Speaking of. Toxic yuri. Lol I actually drew this for Heartbreaker AU but realized it technically also works for Oreocup Swap.

Anyway I still think abt Heartbreaker from time to time 🤔🤔🤔 trying to develop it in a way that preserves PCs integrity as a character bc she makes some very questionable decisions in this AU. No luck so far but that's okay. I don't really like forcing AU development bc it tires me out I vastly prefer just having a Thought and then following it. Like for example Oreocup Swap just now all of that was me building off what I had previously thought abt it beforehand I was flying by the seat of my pants. But for Heartbreaker I haven't really had a breakthrough like that yet 🤨🤨🤨 I just drew this bc the imagery came to mind.

Also my first time drawing og Watermelon in YEARS. I tried to improv this design to see what I would do and 🤔🤔🤔🤨🤨 idk. I like the hair but it doesn't feel very Watermelon to me. I've always drawn her with straight hair and bangs like a watermelon slice but I also like the idea of her having curly hair. I'll probably need to draw some concept art. Unfortunately. (I said like I wasn't planning on doing that anyway)

5/9/2025

Dude. Never let a mf enter a writing fugue state. I thought it's only been a week uhhhh no TURNS OUT IT'S BEEN TWO. WHAT THE HELL.

Okay so. I need to explain. Basically a little after the 24th I decided to make a doc for Dragon AU on impulse. Not very organized just like things of lore and plot points and character beats bc there's a Lot in that AU compared to smthn like NC which only has character stuff. But tbh I might end up making something for NC anyway LOL but I digress. And writing all that down gave me inspo to write more scenes and such bc I didn't want to wait to draw them out and infodump LOL. And basically my thoughts kept snowballing and now I have a Comprehensive Document detailing the worldbuilding and lore of Dragon AU AS WELL AS a scene-by-scene timeline of canon/planned events. There are currently 45 scenes in that timeline. 10 of them have been fully or partially written out. There Will Be More than 45 scenes.

BTW those 45+ scenes are just contained within the Main Story. There is a post-story. THERE IS A POST-POST-STORY. Admittedly idk if I'll write much for post-post-story but it's there conceptually. Same goes for post-story bc those two start branching out more into the larger world of politics and diplomacy and movement building and I prefer to write more contained stories between characters. Post-story and post-post-story are still largely character driven it's just that the scope gets Very Big (also Ph and Oreo aren't present in post-post-story so I'm like boooooo).

There are also alternate timelines developing but they're not really timelines just alternate ideas. But knowing me they will Probably evolve into timelines. Fml.

Idk what happened dawg my third eye opened or some shit. I must've realized I can do whatever the fuck I want bc I'm realizing a lot of my fave tropes appear in this AU now. I added a plot point of 'undercover at a fancy party'. There's domesticity without explicit romance. Och in this AU is the MOST aspec queerplatonic coded I think I have EVER written them 😭 unconventional and unofficiated romance/marriage. CUDDLING AND CLOSENESS AS A LOVE LANGUAGE. Lots of other bullshit I can't think of rn but I KNOW IT'S THERE.

If you need even more proof. I wrote like borderline smut. GENUINELY GET ME OUT OF HERE. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I haven't drawn anything for 2 weeks bc I've been so focused on writing. And also end of semester stuff BUT THAT PART ISN'T IMPORTANT my semester's been over for nearly a week atp

I finally finished the worldbuilding and lore section a few days ago though. The timeline will get filled in as I write. I can either share the doc or maybe make a separate book for it. I def think I don't rlly want to infodump here unless I have tangentially related art bc I know my ass will get infodump fatigue. Soooo I'm leaving that to the general public LOL as long as I get to share it 😁😁😁

But um. Yeah. Genuinely one of if not the biggest damn thing I've ever written ever. I'm kinda proud of myself for getting it all down though lol I've made a setting that I personally really like. It has enough grounding rules to feel structured but enough ambiguity for me to add on later if I feel like it. And it just has a lot of things I like in general LOL my craft my rules ^_^

Anyway that's what I've been up to for the past 2 weeks. Forced myself to sit down and draw bc when I left off I only had 4 things left to draw for this chap. And since I finally finished organizing all my Dragon AU notes and inspo I hit that state of "okay well what do I do now". So I went back to drawing for a bit LOLLL

There's a 2 week difference between the 1st and 2nd panel btw.

So uh. Coughs. Say hi to a new???? AU????? This one is like an alternate take on Dragon AU bc if you remember during the initial development phase of Dragon AU I was debating what genre I wanted to take it in. One was fantasy which is the current AU but this was the other direction. Which is more like.....yakuza/crime focused. This is related to the dragon imagery source trust me bro LMFAOOOOO

It's not THAT developed it's likely not gonna be one of the main AUs. But that's what I thought abt NC and Dragon AU so who the hell knows. But I have some thoughts abt it anyway

I'd say Ph is the most developed bc the genre is so antithetical to his canon self so you KNOW I'm milking that shit. Basically this Ph is disillusioned with the whole justice and police system bc of. Reasons. Maybe like a personal injustice done to him/people he knows orrrrr just something he saw/tried to pursue but was stopped from doing so. So he might've still originally been an officer in this AU. Could be interesting!!

So essentially he tries to find his own way of putting justice and fairness in the world bc. That's just who he is at his core I think. This might be the fanon interpretation speaking LOL but anyway that's how he finds himself involved with the ✨️criminal underground✨️. He's not interested in petty or violent crime he's just a dark side of the law kinda guy. Idk if that's the right phrase but do you get what I mean. He just wants to fight the system. I think his issue here though is that he's gone from one sort of extreme to the other. Which probably isn't healthy. Like there's 100% things happening underground that he still doesn't agree with but in his mind it's better than the other side. At least marginally. Some weird psychology stuff happening with this guy dawg why does this keep happening.

Oreo is Normal Guy Who Gets Dragged Into Bullshit tm again. ONE OF THESE DAYS I'll flip these roles but this trope is too good with him 😭😭😭😭😭 Idk how he gets dragged into the plot this time tbh. Could be similar to Dragon AU in which it happens by chance encounter. Shrug. This might change.

Anyway this naturally makes PC uh. Idk the phrase but rn I have her as part of a rival???? Criminal organization???? To the one Ph is a part of. So again they start off as rivals/enemies LOLLLL idk I might mix it up and put them in the same org but just have different approaches/motivations. Regardless of what I do they'll probably have similar threads of compartmentalization. Being wronged by the system. Doing what they do out of love/justice and not necessarily pure anger/violence. Me when the world is morally gray(?).

Ph + PC designs for this AU 😁😁😁 I'm not very good at drawing them but Ph's bangs are looser. Hair is a little longer than in canon basically saying morally he's not as tight as in canon. Hair symbolism teehee. I like coloring his gloves in so that's why they're always black LOL.

I gave PC a diff type of jacket LMAOO she's just a jacket girlie to me. Shorter hair for practicality. More visible scars bc she probably gets in more physical fights.

Also a little more on her bg bc I was thinking abt lore as I was drawing. She does what she does out of necessity basically. Sort of a Yor Briar type deal if u know what I'm saying. This does mean Yogurt is real in this AU again LOLLLLLL me x putting my stupid OCs in my stupid AUs.

Sighs. I wanna try to give Oreo a diff design too but idk nothing is coming to me. Oh well.

Drew this for the imagery LOLLLL I can't have a crime AU and not draw characters holding a gun to each others' heads. Like come on.

Anyway despite this img I think they are part of the same org. Because that's more interesting to me than having them on opposite sides again. They just clash motivation wise bc Ph is trying to fight a system while PC is looking out for her own ppl. Which ends up in Ph thinking PC is just violent without a cause (he doesn't know abt her deeper motivation) and PC thinks Ph is naive and too ambitious. Lol.

I'm thinking. Maybe this time the plot starts with Oreo being involved from the beginning but he's very much New at this. That could be interesting I think. My head is So far in my hands bro didn't I JUST say I'm not getting attached to this AU.

OKAY ANYWAY

Digital art jumpscare. This was actually the first piece I did for this chap but bc it had uh. Hm. Crime AU ig Ph in it I couldn't show it until after I introduced the AU itself.

Idk why I drew this I just got inspo ig. His stupidass blue eyed stare. Fun fact originally this was just flat color but I really didn't like it so I started putting more detail into the eyes. Really make them stand out yk.

Middle and bottom right is og and femPh so they have the same eye color. Mostly blue with gray around the iris 😁😁 I feel like maybe they should be a few shades darker. Shrug.

Top right is TPaHK!!! Story said he has deep blue eyes so I was like "okay bet". Really wanted to sell the image of guy who is looking into your soul.

Top left is Dragon AU......darker/less saturated than og BUT I colorpicked from og to use for the lighter part of the iris. Bit of a slatey color now that I think abt it.

Bottom left is Crime AU lol. Tried to make his eyes colder blue bc the others are actually warm blue I think. Idk color very well I'll be real. Lmfao.

Lwk I might do versions with PC and Oreo. This was pretty fun. Plus they have slightly more diverse colors to work with (Dragon PC and TPaHK Oreo).

Och fankids LOLLLLLLL this one was more shitposty so I wasn't trying very hard. Girl's got the autistic and blue eyed stare. Her eye color specifically has yellow undertones from PC which is why they're so damn bright compared to Ph. You can kinda see her pupils are rimmed with yellow.

Okay. Good grief. I should try to draw more now that school's out but fuuucccckkkk I wanna write too. Lo, the curse of creativity. I'll figure something out lol. Okay bye 😁!!!!!!!!!!