6/14/2025

Hi ^_^ idk when this chap will release but I want to journal. Lol. Like this could be sitting in drafts until July or August genuinely.

So as I mentioned?? Last chap I said I was going on vacay. At the time of writing I'm spending extended time in Malaysia so I actually have time to sit down and write/draw. I want to creativemax sooo bad I just haven't rlly had time + vacay is abt going out and seeing things + I haven't done either in a while so uhhh I'm having like. Inertia LMAO. But I've been slowly working on drawing here and there. So maybe by the time I get back I'll at least have a full 20. Idk how lighting here will work so I might not take pics until I get home.

Like I recently went through some old OI chaps (this stupid ass fixation(?) has lasted like 7-8 months. I think this is the longest phase yet) and I was reminded of all the shit I still want to draw HEEEELP 😭😭😭 and I've also been taking pics of outfits to draw och + OCs in LMAO.

Anyway!!! I'm having a lot of fun ^_^ it's hot and humid as FUCK here though LOLLL Asia in summer 👎👎👎👎sighs. Oh well. Very interesting here esp compared to US. Hygiene isn't exactly the best esp in public areas but they have like bidet hoses!! But they also expect you to being ur own toilet paper esp in Malaysia.

We went to Singapore first ^_^ their public transport there is INSANE bro they have a train AND bus system it's so awesome. CANNOT get that shit in the US. The area around my college has good public transport tho so it was easy for me to understand. ^_^ they also have government funded housing. We lived in a 40+ yr old flat but it was very well maintained bc the govt takes Actual care of it. Highkey thought of Singaporean Fire Axe LMFAOOO how he has a big fam and they mostly live together. Literally that's what living in Singapore is like. Accidental representation.

My siblings and I went to the botanical gardens ^_^ it's actually a World Heiritage site which is AWESOME. We saw a whole ass monitor lizard. One swan. A LOT of chickens. There's also some just on the streets like we saw one just at the bus station. Apparently some otters live there too but we didn't see any 😔😔😔

We also went to Singaporean Chinatown ^_^ and we went to a cat cafe ^_^ so cute!!!

^_^!!!!!!

Idk if I've mentioned this before but I suddenly developed cat allergies when I was younger 🤨🤨🤨 but they didn't flare up at All when I was there. So idk maybe they've gone away 🙏🙏🙏 also at one point we saw 2 parrots just chilling. Tied down but they were like Apollo Gray Parrots which are rlly smart birds. No owner in sight tho so idk. Hope they're okay 😭🙏

And then we went to a Malaysian resort on top of a mountain for a few days. It was AWESOME it got foggy in the mornings bc of the altitude. I did karaoke for the first time with my fam. It was surprisingly fun dawg I sang Alien Stage with my sister and the vibe was SET LMAOOO I sang Taylor Swift songs. A few meme songs. Evanesence. Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley. I sounded like a dying goat by the end LOLLLLL but it was so so so fun. 10/10 would sing again.

And then there was a petting zoo on the resort so we went there. It was AWESOMMMMEEE I got to hold a sugarglider but I think it got anxious bc it pissed and shit on me LMFAO. And then it refused to move afterwards but it curled its tail around my hand and it was so cute 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭 my sister had to pry it off lol. Not the first time an animal has shit on me tbh. That's the third time it's happened and it's hilarious every time. Lol.

There was also a bird enclosure!!! The handler poured seeds into our hands to feed them ^_^ I got bit by a Sun Concure while trying to pet it. Actually my closest siblings got bit too. Never mess with parrots man 😭😭 There were also tortoises!!! One came up to my heel actually it was very cute.

Aaaaand there were RACCOONS!!!!! I was reaching down to interact with one and it grabbed at my hair LOLLLL they were like baby raccoons just 8 months old. Very fun ^_^ also a dog that lived on the resort followed us around it was SOOO cute 😭😭😭

The dog in question ^_^ his name is Apollo!!

View from the room I was in. It was SO STEEP BRO there are buses specifically to go around the resort bc the inclines are so dramatic. Good cardio though. Actually I've been walking around so much the past few weeks my calves are so sore as of writing this.

Durian.......very famous in Asian countries especially Malaysia 😭😭😭 there's signs saying to beware falling durians bc they grow on tall trees and are pointy af. There are other signs saying No Durians bc they smell and stain 😭😭😭 we had to wear gloves to eat it bc they're so messy. And the tea there is to wash it down. Like the texture is very soft and fleshy. It doesn't taste AWFUL but it's. Definitely an acquired taste.

I also want to mention!! The streets esp in the village areas (like where that photo was taken) are very narrow. There's a lot of motorcycles just weaving in between people ESPECIALLY in the open marketplaces. There was like a pickup truck trying to drive through the street and it took up the entire width.😭😭

Okay so afterwards we went to Thailand ^_^ it was on and off raining the entire time we were there bro 😭😭😭 it was dark and raining when we landed there and we had to call a ride to the hotel. But the pickup point was outside in the rain 😭😭😭😭

Thailand is a lot less hygenic than Singapore and Malaysia 🤨🤨🤨 there was trash just out on the streets. Also there aren't a lot of crosswalks so people just cross the road as people are driving across them 😭😭😭 but they go all out in tourism. The hotel we stayed at was much cleaner and modern than everything around it. The mall we went to was also very similar quality.

Street view!!

Soooo many pride flags here. Thailand (or like the city we were specifically in) is a bit 🤨🤨🤨 strange(?). We went to an open marketplace for clothes and there were honest to god wooden dildos for sale. There was a PornHub shirt with censored boobs. Other uhhh graphic shirts. I counted at least 10 different cannabis shops 😭😭😭 some places straight up smelled like marijuana according to my dad. There was like a massage place and there was a sign that said 'No Sex' help me 😭😭😭😭 I ended up buying a nice flower hairclip though it's very pretty ^_^

The main reason we were there was to tour around some islands!! But like the day of it was raining so bad in the morning. And we took a speedboat so the ride was extra bumpy 😭😭 very wet. And cold. And salty. But I survived ☝️☝️☝️

Weee swam in a lagoon ^_^ atp the rain mostly let up so it was nice. I saw a funny looking bird. I was wearing a life jacket though so I was mostly otter-floating. Like that's the OCEAN you will not catch me without a life jacket bro. My sister actually tried to swim without one but she underestimated the fact that she had to Swim. And also it was REALLY salty so she went back for a jacket LOL

We also did snorkeling!!! 10/10 experience it's very calming bc the water mutes out a lot of sound. And you can just look at fish. And coral. Fun Fact I'm Pretty Sure when I was younger I tried to snorkel in a swimming pool but ig I didn't understand that the snorkel is supposed to stay above water 😭😭😭 so it didn't go well. But I've learned and am older now ☝️☝️☝️so it went. Heh. Swimmingly. This time. 😁😁😁

Apparrrrently there were baby sharks in one of the areas we stopped at so we weren't allowed to get in the water there. Did Not see any sharks unfortunately. But we DID see monkeys 😁😁😁😁 we stopped at an area called Monkey Bay and saw TWO whole monkeys. Plus at the lunch place we stopped at we saw like 5 more. I have a kinship with monkeys LOL (#zodiac (I think I said this last chap actually lmfao)) so it was awesomeeee 😁😁😁😁

And then at the last island we stopped at there were SOOOO many cats bro. Actually this entire time we've seen cats and dogs just on the streets. But there were SOOOOO MANY CATS ON THAT ISLAND ^_^ There was even like a family of black cats ^_^

We went back to Singapore to just reorganize but my siblings and I went to the civic center. I ended up spending like 5 hours reading a book abt high-functioning autism in women LOL I uh. Didn't really learn a lot abt myself but there was a lot of interesting info in there. Like did you know Emily Dickinson was most likely autistic.

I unfortunately can't remember it all off the top of my head 😭😭😭 but every chapter was basically about a different aspect of it. There was a chapter abt hyperfixations and another abt how uhhh autistic ppl don't have automatic habits. Like they have to actively think thru their actions (which is why routine/schedules are so important). So for some autists everything is new all the time which often leads to directionlessness. There were also chapters about the history of autism and its causes (mostly biological/hereditary!) and how in the past autism screening was mainly directed toward boys. Which is why neurodivergent girls/women/adults have been harder to test bc of masking/gender roles. There was another one abt cognitive vs emotional empathy. Autists tend to lack the former (knowing what to do in social situations) but have more of the latter (feeling how others feel). There was a chapter about how autism brains work which was cool! Apparently there are more connections in certain parts of the brain (I think the parietal lobe was mentioned, which is where senses are processed. And that's why autistic ppl can have hyper/hyposensitivity) and I think less in others? The cerebellum (movement and balance) was mentioned a lot but idr in what context. Also the amygdala (fight/flight, emotion processing) tends to be bigger in autists apparently.

Okay that was a huge ass paragraph my bad gang. The book itself is called The Autists: Women on the Spectrum if ur curious ^_^ a lot of the symptoms and some of the history I already knew but there's a lot of good anecdotes and discussion abt the culture and research and even myths about/surrounding autism.

For example!! The author discusses the changeling myth through the autistic lens. The myth itself is about how trolls swap their own children for human children, and how parents can spot if their child's been swapped. Idr the exact details but the myth says to look out for certain behaviors (similar to some autistic behaviors) and, if those behaviors are present, to beat the troll child to scare the parent trolls to switch the children back.

But it also discusses a cautionary tale abt how a farmer and his wife have their child switched. The wife knew this happened but still cared for and stayed loyal to the child, even when he misbehaved and accidentally burned down their barn and even when the husband treated the child poorly. And eventually the husband meets his real child (now grown) in the woods, and the son says that the treatment was mirrored. He was treated badly when the troll was treated badly, but the opposite was also true. So it was the wife's kindness that saved and ultimately freed him. But the story also implies the wife will miss the troll when he returns to his family too.

And this relates to autism bc it was (and might still be?) practice to beat children who acted abnormally. Bc the child could be like a demon or changeling. So a lot of autistic kids were victim to this. Sighs.

On a lighter note. The author also explores Alice in Wonderland through the autistic lens ^_^ how the events are disjointed and overwhelming which relates to the autistic experience of going through life. Often being lost and things not making sense. There was a bit about how Alice accidentally offends some of the Wonderland residents bc she doesn't know how to talk to them, which is also part of the autistic experience. The sequel was also discussed through the lens of not being in control of your own body. Which can also be part of the autistic experience.

I got rlly wrapped up in it so I didn't want to stop to eat lunch 😭😭😭 which is rlly funny bc the author mentions how autistic ppl just don't eat sometimes bc they're hyperfixing/don't want to be interrupted. Which was EXACTLY what I was doing LOLLLL.

Again though I feel I didn't rlly get a lot of clarity on myself? There were a lot of things I related to most of which I already knew (active thinking, hyperfixing, not relating to normal girl things, etc) but. Okay I literally talked about this like 1 or 2 chapters ago bruh. Sighs. But I can't relate to directionlessness (I mean. Okay I use landmarks a lot which ig is like a correction method? And the author mentions that too. But idk I usually don't get lost) or some of the other things. And again my "symptoms" are a lot milder than most ppl I know and even compared to the anecdotes in the book.

Ik that all autistic brains are different. And the author mentions how it takes very specific gene combinations to make 1 autistic trait let alone enough to make someone autistic 'enough' to fill out the criteria. And again unconscious masking is a factor esp for women (me!!!!). So. Shrug.

Also yes when I wasn't thinking about how it related to me or society/culture I was in fact thinking abt Ph. LMFAO.

Okay. Autism tangent over.

So NOW this brings us to the present. AKA a different part of Malaysia. I got a perm/haircut today ^_^ my hair is curled now. It looks more wavy tbh bc my hair is Very Straight (during PRIDE MONTH?!?!?) so it's hard to curl LOL. It took THREEEEE HOURSSSSSS bro. I had to sit with my hair rolled up and heating clips pressed to it for like an hour. Also I have layers now ^_^ my hair is pretty thick and I usually keep it long so it's always falling in my face and etc. But it should be easier to maintain now.

Okay that's it for now. 2600 words 😭😭😭😭 if you've read up until here ty LOLLLLL.

Psych. One more thing. The house I'm living in rn has threeee whole stories and there's an elevator. My maternal grandma lives here so. It's for her lol. My room is on the third floor though LOL so I gotta walk up and down every time. Cardio!

Erm. Okay another thing LOL so most of the AC here isn't centralized ☝️☝️ so there's individual AC units and controls per room. It's energy efficient but also like you'll step out of an ACed room and suddenly it's like stepping into a jungle. I just thought that was interesting to mention.

Also. A lot of the local places are open air. Again thought that was interesting to mention. It gives a very distinct culture esp compared to American places that are all indoors and ACed. In Singapore and Malaysia esp there's like open air food courts. Open air markets. Ofc there's fans lol but it's just different. My mom did bargaining in Thailand which was an interesting experience!! Not for me though LOLLL. Just a very different cultural experience. Asia win.

Okay NOW that should be it. Lol.

They call me the liar. Because I lie 😎😎😎😎

I managed to find a way to decently light my photos!! Grind never stops 💪💪💪they might not be very sharp unfortunately. Oh well.

Kitsune Miku. We went to a snack store yesterday and found these Hatsune Miku themed gummies so my sis took a picture of them. But like I was holding them so I just used the packet to block my face. And one of the ppl my sister sent the pic to said 'Kitsune Miku' so. Now this exists LOL

Did you know Hatsune Miku will be a character in the next Sonic racing game. I thought that was relevant.

Heh. Dragon AU Ph. Hm. Maybe I need a way to distinguish them 😭😭 this is specifically the AU where he's the dragon. Bc one of his animal shifts is a rabbit I was like. What if I drew him in a bunny tuxedo. I didn't draw him in like the women's version though bc 1) I'm a coward LMFAO 2) his ass would NEVERRRRRRR idk maybe I will draw that. One day. I have the power.

Ph but more shifted ^_^ ig he's more explicitly tied to his animal shifts lol. Stag antlers + ears. Extra pair of rabbit ears. Raven wings and feathers. I kinda drew this one in the margins so I didn't have as much room as I wanted. Still in the process of designing 😭😭😭 he looks more animal like here but I rlly want him to be like. Strange. Unearthly. Maybe a little ethereal. Just to reflect the nature of his attunement.

Like the feeling of being somewhere very still. Holding your breath. Water that looks like glass. That's what I want to invoke LOL

In his full dragon form I've imagined him as being more stag-like in form but he still has wings 🤔🤔🤔 also I think it's very cool how he's more prey-like (rabbit, stag, ravens aren't prey animals but they're not rlly predators either. They're scavengers!) but he treats and thinks of himself as dangerous (predator). Did not do that intentionally but it's there.

Raven in particular is interesting bc they're like death and ill omens in some cultures and allat. In others they're more symbolic of insight and prophecy. And in Ph's case his way of thinking about himself goes from one end to another. Not all the way but some of it is there. Everything's symbolic somehow 😭😭😭😭

6/22/2025

Okay that Did Not take as long as I thought it would (said one week later) LMFAO. I didn't realize this until now but I've been going out every damn day since coming on vacation 😭😭😭 ig it can't be that bad bc I haven't noticed until now but like. Hm. It's just kinda strange to me <- girl who always stays indoors. Anyway I only rlly noticed now bc I was so damn tired when I went out today my mom was commenting on how slow my reaction time was 😭😭😭😭😭 I felt better after a snack break and some time to chill by myself but still. Lol

ANYWAY that's mostly unrelated. I don't have a lot of super big things to comment on like before. I did buy a nice hairband for myself ^_^ it has a little cloth sewn on so it looks like a headkerchief. And it makes me look like a village girl LOLLLL cottagecore win. Uhhhh I've gotten some hand down clothes from some relatives and my sister and mom have bought a lot of clothes in general. I'm kinda concerned abt how we're bringing all of it back lmao. My ass doesn't know how to buy clothes for myself 👎👎👎👎I hate buying new things and participating in. CONSUMERISM. <- guy who just said she bought smthn for herself

Sigh. Anyway again mostly unrelated uhhhh I watched Elio the other day ^_^ new Pixar(?) movie. It was AWESOME and I cried a little LOLLL I love crying during movies. ALSO!!!!! Actually the person who probably cares abt this already knows but just for my own sake. I read Big Jim Begins....and the entirety of CKCC...... 😎😎😎😎😎 no spoilers obvs but god DAMN bruh. Big Jim my goat. Flippy my goat.

Idt this counts as a spoiler but there's your warning jic. Petey appears in exactly 1 chapter in CKCC it's so funny 😭😭😭 he appears on the chapter splash art. Says like 2 or 3 words. Then leaves. LOL. Also it's winter and he's wearing a blue coat and I was like HEH.........anyway it was particularly funny to me bc I got excited seeing him and then he just leaves. Heh.

WAIT YOU KNOW WHAT I HAVEN'T MENTIONED on the mf plane ride to Singapore (so like 3-4 weeks ago) I finally watched the Dogman movie. IT WAS CRAZY I probably need to rewatch it on the way back I forgot most of the details. But like Dogman coming back to the empty house. Dogman and Lil Petey bonding montage. Sarah x Chief fsr. Petey "I'm no do-gooder" as he proceeds to sacrifice himself. SsssssssiiiiiGGGGHHH.

Okay vacation yapping over. Teehee. Time to yap about my stupidass AUs instead LOLLLLL

Wiggles. New Dragon AU character. His name is Kelp LMFAO okay anyway he's actually specific to the version where Ph is the dragon. Basically I was fucking around with this version of the AU and developed the idea that at some point Ph goes back to the Realm to reconnect with his roots bc he's spent too damn long repressing his dragon side so even if he isn't with the hunters anymore and maybe doesn't hate himself as much as he used to he's still horribly out of tune with who and what he is. There is actually smthn that catalyzes this decision but idk if it's canon and also it's uh. Idk if I would call it dark but it's def kinda heavy 😭😭😭 so I'll save it for another time

Anyway. Kelp is Ph's childhood friend (shocker) so Kelp is also a dragon. Aaaand his narrative role is to help Ph readjust to being in the Realm again and also advocate for him. So naturally his emotional role is to kind of be the bridge to Ph's past and etc. Ph basically completely disappeared from the Realm without warning only to show up on Earth as a hunter so obviously a lot of dragons are pissed at him. So his return to the Realm also doubles as facing old ghosts ^_^

Ph's older sibling is also in this AU LOL. Dragon siblings. My thoughts abt them currently is that maybe their character development from "canon" is reversed....so more carefree when she was younger and plagued by the horrors in the present. Still loves Ph but it's complicated. I'll need to workshop it lol

Okay back to Kelp. He's very silly on the surface LOL at his core I think he's just a sillyfun guy. BUT I think Ph's disappearance really fucked him up 😞😞😞 he spent a reaaally long time trying to look for him/hoping he'd come back and then boom he gets hit with the news Ph is a hunter. So Ph's return is also complicated for him and obviously Ph is different from how Kelp remembers him. But ultimately he's glad Ph is back and that mostly overrides the other feelings. There's a lot going on with him too 😭😭😭

Kelp is an ocean dragon!! He clears 6' but isn't taller than Fire Axe....and his animal shifts are otters and dolphins. That's why I gave him whiskers btw LOL I wanted him to look friendly mostly. Idk if I like the hairstyle though. Hm. Also smthn smthn otters hold on to each other so they don't float away. Smthn smthn Kelp has abandonment issues and is lwk clingy. I didn't do that on purpose but like. Damn bro 😞😞😞😞😞

Grimaces. Okay so like hear me out. LMFAOOOO this is the dumbest thing I've done. Fuck it we ball

So I said to myself 'lmfao what if Kelp had a crush on him' but then it turned into an actual plot point bc. Basically in the Realm Kelp says some gay ass shit like "I want to stay by your side forever" and Ph replies with "I'm already spoken for" which is WEIRD bc at this point in the story och aren't offiicially together yet. There are def Feelings (and I think I might integrate confession gone wrong somewhere in there) but obvs Ph is repressing to hell and back. So saying that is Ph confirming he feels the same way abt the other two. So that's a whole new problem for him LMFAO but anyway Kelp takes this in stride bc all he really needs is for Ph to be alive and well. So that's the end of that (said as Ph is now struggling with the implication of being in love with humans)

Fast forwardish to when Ph comes back to Earth to reunite with Oreo and PC and EVENTUALLY och happens. Giggles and kicks my feet AHEM AHEM ANYWAY I think either during this timeframe or after och happens Kelp also starts visiting Earth bc he's curious. And uh. Idk how canon this part is but Kelp ends up kissing Ph. All good intentions bc Kelp just thought that was how humans show affection 😭😭😭 sighssss SIGHS anyway Ph has to explain the difference while trying not to explode meanwhile Oreo and PC are laughing their asses off bc this is so fucking stupid. And then it becomes an inside joke between them all until it happens enough that Oreo is like "hey so is he part of the polycule now or like. What's going on" and Ph genuinely can't answer bc there's no boundary anymore LMFAO.

This is so damn funny to me bc having OCs have very close relationships (romantic, familial, childhood/best friends) to canon chars is basically taboo for me personally in the Sonic franchise. But here I just do it left and right 😭😭😭 what the hell man. Okay I'm getting infodump fatigue so I'm moving on now!!!!

NC Oreo and Strawberry OUTFIT SWAP!!!!!!! Inspired by my sister saying the phrase 'strawberry Oreo' (like Oreos with strawberry creme) and me immediately thinking abt these two 😭😭😭😭

Season 1 fits ^_^

Part of their s2 dynamic ^_^ context here is a challenge...and ig the team forgot to do something lol. The implication here is that she trusts Oreo ^_^ Strawb very much speaks before she thinks.....so like after she calls everyone useless but then calls on Oreo to take care of the task rather than just do it herself. Idt she's even aware of it lol. Oreo doesn't think that deeply about it either tbh LOL he thinks of himself as like her sidekick sometimes. In a joking way ofc but since they often work together and Strawberry is just Bossy he acts like that bc it's funny. And Strawb's reactions range from"weirdo" to "yeah that's right know your place". I REALLLLY LIKE THEM 😭😭😭😭😭

Sighs. There's a timeline out there in which it's Strawberry/Oreo and PC/Ph I GUESS but like come on man. My mf YURI. My mf POLYCULE!!!!!!!!! However comma I think it'd be really funny if they get shipped by parts of the in-universe fandom LMFAO. Thinking abt the in-universe fandom is very funny sometimes. Meta fandoming. Neither of them really like getting shipped though for. Obvious reasons so they just ignore it if they can. I made a comic abt this before actually LOL basically Oreo's reaction is a lot more personal and Strawberry is annoyed at worst but neither of them rlly let it negatively affect their relationship with the other. I mean okay Oreo def has feelings about it but it's clear Strawb doesn't take it seriously so he never really brings it up aside from maybe once or twice to get her thoughts. And it's more of a personal issue with himself than anything with Strawberry so he doesn't want to drag her into it anyway.

Wigglesssssss there's some new s2 development I want to drop but I SHAAAANT not yet. I need to draw. I GOTTA DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE.

PC and Parasol outfit swap 💪💪💪💪 I really should draw Parasol in casual fits more bc she slays SOOOO HARD IN PC'S FIT FOR NO REASON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 also lower body jumpscare. I did say I took a lot of fit pics to draw characters in so....it will be good practice ig...........<- dreading

Bonus img LOL

Whoops the aspect ratio on 2nd img is really bad. Shrug

Anyway POST STORY NC AU YEAAAAAAAAAH uhhh stole Oreo's post story design from the one and only Jonkulous Inknuthead..........

Okay so. Essentially post story NC is when the major conflicts revolving around och have either been resolved or are working toward resolution. For example by this time they've all talked abt their feelings (no way) regarding s1 and how they were affected etc etc. And also by this time Oreo's working on healing. He's made enough progress that he can healthily be in a relationship and not have constant impostor syndrome or self sabotage for the most part. I think he'll always have Moments tbh it's just baked into him I'm afraid. But he's a lot better than he used to be. Also he's actually seeing a therapist YIPPEE ^_^

Anyway that's the sort of emotional environment ^_^ jsyk.

Fun fact PC's outfit here is one of the fit pics I took. ONE DOWN!!!! I like the idea of post story Oreo and Parasol bonding over fashion and such bc they both have an interest in it. Meanwhile PC and Ph are like🧍🧍bc not only do neither of them run in those circles they barely go clothes shopping in general LMFAO. Unserious ass dynamic. I can imagine Oreo and Parasol leading the group on an outing or whtvr and PC and Ph helping carry things for the most part. They probs get dragged into trying new clothes too. Mundane ass slice of life scenario SSSSIIIIIIGHHHHHSSSS I feel a little insane.

OKAY!!!!!!! That should be it. SIGHS. Okay bye lmfao