Hello there to anyone who cares.
I think this will be my last update for a while of even forever.
I dunno how much longer I can even stay alive.... I'm contemplating suicide in high school... I nearly tried a month ago.
I kind of feel like I'm going. Every since I found out that I have depression... things have been going downhill for me.
I believe I might have Bipolar depression also, because when I laugh so hard to the point where I'm crying or nearly in tears, I suddenly start sobbing as though I just got news that my parents died.
Most of the rest of the time I feel numb.
I also have Autophobia, the fear of rejection and isolation. I constantly feel as though I'm being ignored or unloved, and though I hate to say it, I feed of attention. I'm so scared to ask strangers things or be wrong in front of people, to the point where a week ago I accidentally gave the wrong answer to the question (It was a really freaking easy question) And I burst into tears and cried the rest of geometry. Still embarrassed.
I'm thinking of stopping doing art. I'm not that good at it anyways
The only thing I live for is my friends, they make me happy, and I couldn't bear having them suffer the loss of a friend. Even if I believe that they would be happier without me.
I love you people.
Goodbye for now
~Try