2/20/17

phil lester picked him up at seven, as promised. dan was wearing a black sweatshirt that read buzzkill across the front in slanted pink letters, and black jeans. he looked very cute.

phil had just worn a navy blue t-shirt, jeans, and his letterman jacket. he felt extremely underdressed next to him, but he always felt like that near dan, no matter what he was wearing.

phil held out his arm as he had seen people do in the movies, and dan giggled, rolling his eyes. he took it, wrapping his arm around phil's.

"where are we going?"

"you'll see."

phil lead him out of the building and they walked across campus, the dewy drops on the grass dampening the cuffs of their jeans, but neither of them seemed to care.

"it isn't my birthday..."

"i know."

phil grinned. it was pretty cute how dan couldn't stand not knowing. "are you cold?"

dan blushed, biting his lip. "a little bit..."

phil smiled, slinging off the letterman jacket that had his last name stitched over the shoulder and back. he tried to help dan get it on, but dan only held it over his shoulders like a blanket, tugging it around himself. phil grinned; it was far too large for him and made him look even smaller than he was.

"this is so cliché," dan mumbled, his cheeks stained pink. phil chuckled.

"nothing wrong with a little cliché."

phil lead him around the buildings to the theater, and he could almost feel dan's eyes widening behind him. he took his hand.

they pushed through the doors to the hallway leading to the huge auditorium space, dan's eyes searching for anything out of place. as soon as he noticed something he gasped, his hand going to cover his mouth, dropping phil's. phil's grin widened.

"like it?"

the hallway tiles were lined with little candles, and all the other lights were off. it was meant to represent the little lights on the row of a movie theater.

"what did you do?" dan asked softly, meeting phil's eyes. phil just smiled.

"you're about to find out."

he took his hand again, tugging him down the hall and through the doors to the theater. dan gasped again, stumbling a bit when phil pulled him while his eyes were focused elsewhere.

"katie's in theater," he mumbled. "she got this set up. i just... helped a little."

dan didn't speak, his eyes traveling over the set up.

phil had convinced liam to lend him his projector, and the huge white cloth screen that was used to play movies on.

katie and liam had helped him set it up on the stage facing all the seats, and katie had gotten permission from the drama teacher to use the area, as no one else was going to. phil had to admit, it looked pretty impressive.

"hey!" katie stood from the sea of seats, shuffling towards them. "dan, do you like it?"

dan seemed to be speechless, and phil searched his face. katie clambered over to them, beaming. she touched dan's arm.

"we have popcorn, but you don't have to eat it," she said softly. "no pressure."

"i..." dan's voice cut off and phil realized there were tears in his eyes.

"hey..." phil brushed his thumb over his cheek as gently as he could. "it's okay... we did this for you."

dan met his eyes, his warm irises glistening. "why?"

"because you're a good friend." he smiled at him. "and you're doing really well with your eating and everything... we figured you needed a reward."

dan threw himself into phil's arms without warning, wrapping his arms around his neck. phil felt katie join the huddle, wrapping herself around dan.

"thank you," the boy breathed, his voice breaking. phil smiled.

"you're so welcome."

dan pulled back after a moment, his cheeks rosy. phil led him down the row to the center while katie set up the movie; phil explained that they had found a bunch of movies that somewhat involved ballet ('they might not be very good or whatever, we just, you know... found them...') and dan beamed.

katie had gotten good speakers, and the sound of the movie she had started filled the theater, the projector causing the cloth to glow and dance with fleeting colorful images.

dan rested his head on phil's shoulder, and phil looked over at him. dan's eyes were wide, reflecting what he saw before him, a curly strand of hair tumbling between them. phil smiled, reaching over to brush it away.

katie joined them, but she sat behind them to give them space, and phil grinned. she was pretty sharp. he tucked the strand behind dan's ear and dan glanced at him.

yeah, phil liked him quite a bit. the thing was, he didn't think dan would have been ready to be with him when they first met. maybe phil being with eva had been a temporary blessing in disguise.

"i wanna tell you something," dan whispered, his voice so soft that phil could hardly hear him over the sounds of the film.

"yeah?"

sometimes dan did this; he would offer phil a little piece of his past, of his thoughts and emotions, without much warning. phil loved it when he did, it was like an offering, a bit of knowledge about him for phil to keep.

"w-when i was eleven..." he paused, trailing off. phil took his hand, silently encouraging him to continue. "when i was eleven, all these kids gathered in the p-parking lot after school. they were playing this stupid game where they'd try to step on this puddle that had frozen over and try not to break it... if you broke it, it meant you were fat. and there were so many puddles, everyone could do it."

phil paused before bringing his hand to his lips again, pressing his mouth against his soft skin repeatedly, waiting for dan to continue.

"a-and everybody was yelling at me to try so i did it... i remember stepping out on the ice and f-feeling it crack under my feet..." he took a shaky breath and phil watched his face intently. "i know that sounds so stupid, but that was the first time i felt like i had really failed... everyone. and everybody was laughing and my feet were wet and i know it was stupid, because everybody else had broken it too, probably quicker than i had. and i started crying. i kind of just sat down there and the school had to call my dad, who nearly dragged me away, and he was so mad that i'd embarrassed him..."

he sighed, nibbling on his lip. phil didn't say anything, not wanting to interrupt him in case there was more.

"and i kept thinking... i kept thinking that it was because i was too fat. it had to be."

phil squeezed his hand, kissing over his fingers.

"dan..."

dan sighed, closing his eyes. "i know it's dumb, you don't have to tell me."

"i wasn't going to say it was dumb. those are valid thoughts for someone that young... but you held onto them, didn't you? you carried them all the way through the years, and that's the problem."

dan searched his eyes, blinking slowly. "yeah."

phil nodded, squeezing his hand again. "yeah." he paused. "come with me, i wanna show you something."

he stood, helping dan up. he smiled at the fact that he still had the jacket draped over his skinny shoulders.

he helped him out from the row, almost completely forgetting katie was there. they made their way up the aisle, and up the steps to the stage, dan trailing behind him.

phil pulled him behind the big screen, in front of the projector. he watched dan's eyes wander.

before the projection, his skin seemed to reflect the image. dancing people, flowing skirts and sparking, beaming faces translated on his skin, and phil was sure he looked the same.

dan's eyes were full of wonder, shining with the image, and he turned to face the back of the screen. he reached out, touching the cloth gently, and the film transferred onto his skin like a moving tattoo. phil placed his hand over his and he saw dan's lips curl into a hint of a smile.

"you okay?"

dan nodded slowly. he looked almost sleepy, his eyelashes fluttering.

"you?"

"yes."

dan turned back toward him, smiling faintly. "it's really cool."

phil nodded. "mhm."

after a second he reached out timidly, his fingers ghosting over dan's waist. he felt dan shiver.

dan met his eyes, reaching down to press phil's hands against his waist so he was touching him properly, keeping his words trapped behind the rosy seal of his lips, silent.

phil looked up at the screen. two dancers were displayed, a girl and a boy, and they were performing together in perfect synchronization. the boy lifted the girl, their faces inches apart to add a layer of intimacy to the dance.

phil looked back at dan, who was watching him with those huge fawn eyes. dan moved a bit closer, and phil could feel him trembling beneath his touch.

he slowly slid his arms around his waist, pulling him closer, their stomachs just barely touching.

one hand came up to brush over his jaw, admiring his skin, his fingertips traveling between his freckles. he could hear dan's breathing getting shallow.

"phil..."

his voice was soft and careful, lost in the music in their ears. but phil heard it.

he cupped his face, his palm flat against his cheek, his fingers curved to contour his features. dan's pupils were dilated, his eyes wider than usual.

after a moment of just looking at him he took a chance and leaned in, resting their foreheads together. he could feel dan's shaky breathing on his lips.

his hand brushed down, his thumb pausing on his lower lip. his skin felt like lace under his fingers, and his lips were a plush velvet.

phil leaned in a bit more, letting their noses brush, slotting together ever so slightly. he was completely and utterly breathless, he had the fleeting thought that he had never felt like this around eva. the images and light on the screen danced over dan's skin.

"is this okay?" he whispered, but instead of answering, dan closed the distance with a shaky sigh, pressing his lips against phil's all of a sudden.

dan wrapped his shaking arms around his neck, pressing close to him. phil shivered, one hand resting on his lower back, the other touching his face as if holding him still.

phil slotted their lips together, his eyes fluttering shut. he nibbled gently at dan's lower lip and he heard the boy let out another shaky breath.

he deepened the kiss a bit, feeling dan part his lips. his mouth was soft and felt almost delicate, like expensive china. phil felt honored to be trusted with his lips. he tasted a bit like mint, and something undeniably sweet. phil's heart felt like it just might beat out of his chest and into dan's.

it felt like a really long time before dan pulled back, resting their foreheads together again.

"oh."

phil chuckled breathlessly, searching his eyes and reaching up to play with his hair gently, curling it around his finger.

"katie definitely saw all of that through the screen..."

dan blushed, nodding, making their noses brush. "y-you're right..." he sighed happily. "i don't care..."

"me neither." phil held him tightly; dan hardly ever let him touch him, so he tried to use it when he could.

"that was so cliché..."

phil grinned, kissing him gently on the lips again momentarily. "nothing wrong with a little cliché."