Boom. Take Lucian

Don't say smash I swear to god- *has a wonky heavy mental art block-*

Take maggot :DDD

I was drawing him a lot while I was mentally feeling bad, so maggot being the comfort character he is I just yeeted some maggot drawings while doing assignments :DDD Which made me motivated- 

Drawing a maggot doodle, going back to focusing assignments, drawing another maggot doodles, going back to focusing on assignments-

Twistor, being twistor :DDDD 

Being a silly gal who is an energetic person (WHO WAS SUPPOSE TO BE LIKE THAT but due to not being involve in rps so much and the amount of ocs I have I struggle with that in a whole load-) 

Anyways she's a thief, show her a ring and she will somehow steal it :DDD

Doobles of twistor, Twistor gives me a vibe where whenever I draw her, I...I just feel like I get a mental gunpoint at me and it's like- :') what- Gaaaaaaahhhhhh my head is weird sometimes-

Don't ask me why I like chemix

He's like, he's so skrunkly :')

My friend don't like how I draw toes and stuff, which is ;-; Why- :') And they're questioning why do I keep drawing OUTFIT FOLDS. Which is *coughs coughs.* it's called realism. I'm trying my best here- :')

The drawing I wanted to show last week but I just gave up and just *faints*

They're friends, don't worry about it ;w;

Squishy, in a blanket, with hot coco :DDD marriiieee Christmas (also I just realize Christmas is like 2-3 weeks away...I'm not a festive person, so I don't know what to do :') )

I MEANT TO PUT QUOTATION MARKS ON THE DISORDERS WORD BUT IM TOO LAZY TO EDIT IT- :') People with "disorders" and overall just *throws headphones across my wall*

It's, why- ;-; 

Isn't maggot just the most wholesomest child ever to known to exist on this universe :DD? I mean look at him- 

WHATEVER TAKE DANDY WORL ART

I was just giggling and watching edits and drawings of dandys world compliations to see the fandom and how it really is (and it's like, w o a h I love ships now /jk) And I saw Rodger's and toodles and how the fandom is like 

"Hey. They're father and daughter. A child with rabies and a man who's calm :DDD That's a perfect family dynamic so let's just- *Makes several edits and stuff-*" 

And 8 am, struggling to stay awake, just to play a game of dandy's world, was like:...ya know what let's do that- and boom. Take this art-

Rodgers drawings 

I imagine him being a worked up man who is just tired all the time and just "please let me sleep-" I'm such a tired goob-

A true event where this weekend I just *COUGHS-* DIED over dumb twisteds, lots of battles happen while I played as Rodger-

Oh god the amount of Rodger fan girl energyI am giving just realizing how much I'm drawing Rodgers- ;w; 

He's just so fun to draw :'D

I've made a random dandy world  OC, he's suppose to act like dead guy who doesn't show emotions but in reality he's a really good and nice guy :DDD (and detail he likes hugs :D)

I like his design, might draw him more often-

I found two matching shirts of couples (don't ask me what I was doing I was just bored-) And I just *steals shirt idea* I NEEDED TO ALRIGHT- I LOST THE INSPIRATIONAL SHIRT SO- ;w;

Oreo being a silly autistic cat (with his big ol eyes)

The time, when I was suppose to vc with squishy, I walked over to my chair, pulled it back, confused why is there a heavy weight, only to see this autistic of a child- 

Snapped of a photo, and patted him for a while- (Sorry for that wait squishy on Saturday or Friday I don't know-  I needed to give this little goober attention-

I sawwwwwwwwwwwwww (fuck what's her ass name-) OH ASTROKE- 

Her room was pretty cool, the team I was in was reALLY GOOD :000 which is surprising considering most of the teams I've been in...they didn't even make it to floor 7- 

It was a dandy's run, we quickly did our machines, pebbles just distract. Nearly died of twisted dandy but they quickly found med kits for me, we had sprout who would help me also- and I had a lot of bandages- anddddd I died feeling floors later because it was the morning and my dad needed to YEET me to breakfast and...they just, they were tired of waiting for that long- :') (which is understandable- I am an impatient child and I would not- no- let them die-) I did get a lot of ichors :DDD

Last week, I was chilling in lunchroom (totally not drawing random doodles of twistian-) And my irl friend who was sitting beside me, asked me if I was hungry and I said "YES." And then she supplied me with grapes and pineapple, and I happily ate some, but I slide them to them back because- yeah :') 

And then, at my last class (which was art class-) My OTHER irl friend noticed red bumps and rashes around my wrists, and assumed I'm allergic to my bracelets, which I assumed it was it- When I got home, I told my mom and brother about it and they assumed it might be Lila (my dog) since she has dirty claws whenever she goes outside and we usually scratch them-

(I also woken up at 2 am, feeling my legs have an urge to just stand up and just walking around and stuff, don't know why that's a problem- it was...torture- like my legs just- had sudden urges to walk around and focus-)  

And I just agreed with, so next morning blah blah blah it's a Tuesday...I wake up, feeling....HORRIBLE- my body start feeling so scratching, it's like I wanted to scratch everywhere...and then, I raised my arm in the bathroom...I saw, RASHES- literally everywhere in my body- my legs, my waist, everywhere were just red large bumps except for my head- I went to my sister panicking and she also panicked-

Took pictures of my arms and hands, and sent them to mom, my mom...fucking started panicking also- She went to my brother and shown him the photos (they work at the same job so she yeeted it to them-) And I got a call from my mom, I've saw my brother, shown him my rashes, and...they immediately yeeted themselves out of the job and went straight to my house. And went to some local urgent care- 

We talked to the nurses, they gave me a shot, on the way there...my brother, asked me. 

"*name*. Put your phone down. Now, have you been stressing at school?" "...yeah-"

 "...okay. So. About school, these reactions COULD have happened about stress and anxiety, so. This could either be food allergies of what you've ate or something else." 

I just looked at him and as he got to the place, blah blah blah they gave me a shot to help me with the rashes, and then SPECIFCALLY. My brother asked "...could stress cause these reactions?" AND THE NURSE SAID S T R E S S H I V E S exist and THIS COULD BE IT- but genuinely I don't think this is it- :') But I may or may not have a high chance of having it...due to my lack of attendance because of irl stuff and how my struggles are...It's- it's a lot of stress- :') And having lot of assignments being thrown at me- 

I just- I need to have several moments where I just sit down and just cry and stress about my assignments- to the point where now I just zone out easily, my mental health is hanging onto a string- and my brain is panicking over a tiny assignment- And the more I just- Intensity of stress just hitting at my head and how much I just hit in my head, stress hives...yeah I might have a high chance-

When we got home, got benysdril or whatever that is called- and my brother told me "...please. R e l a x -" which I nodded, this was a lot to take in and the nurse even suggested I needed to have a day off, and get myself a therapist since...anxiety- 

"please help me im about to combust myself into tears and panick over a small assignment-" And the jaw surgery (btw I had a jaw surgery- had two teeth's stuck in my gums-) DID NOT HELP AT ALL-

because it took me...4 days off of school and when I got back...several. And several. AND SEVRAL ASSIGNMENTS WERE HANDED TO ME AND TESTS TO DO THAT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT IT EVEN MEANS- keeping a smile :DDD zoning out, just, seeing blurry stuff, seeing random objects going small and big, feeling nauseous, feeling like my heart is gonna heart is beating a lot in a fast rate- and my hearing is going lower and everything around me is just..zoning out.

And my sucky ASS "FrIEnD" over in the bus been rubbing me reminders of the tests and stuff like "it's YOUR fault you've been off of this week." ..And i just. Yeah I don't talk to them anymore after that- 

It's not like this is my last week of my first semester and I'm on the verge of loosing my 8th grade year. And my head is just, filled with stress and heavy weight inside me and now my breathing is closing up :D 

it's not like I have 68's and 50's on my current grades right now and I'm currently trying to keep my body and mind up and being happy online and totally not shaking typing this reminding myself I'm about to loose my chance of hoping into high school and I have to restart to 8th grade and I constantly remind myself that I'm a failure and a horrible person trying to be online at the same time trying not to be distracted and stuff and unable to be productive and I'll soon enough break this never ending cycle of me just keeping this fake ass smile and also having more assignments and quizzes AND TESTS and finals NEXT WEEK AND ILL STRESS ABOUT IT-

Anyways what am I writing again-

sorry for writing so much, I haven't been so productive on Wattpad, I just no longer feel so motivated to be online and just want to rot and sleep on my bed most of the time and stuff- :') 

Uhh....Found out about stress hives. DONT BE STRESSED- 

especially like me, because physical therapy, loosing a lot of time at school, surgeries, tests, final exams, assignments, and unable to understand normal english languages and pronouncing normal words...they're...hard- :') and, i might go to my councilor tomorrow just to vent and sob and cry to them about this because...I'm, about to go insane-

Okay uhh, have a good day :DDD! <33