So I know I was supposed to post this yesterday but I was feeling lazy so I'm posting it today. Also , ignore the disclaimers in sharpie that say its just for a story , it was just so I can avoid people thinking these are su/c/dal drawings. There not but knowing my trust issues with the mental health systems at school , I didn't want to take any chances.

These drawings were strangely made with anger and not sadness and I call it strange is because whenever I look up anger vent art , there is little to none. It just bothers me that I feel angry at them instead of sad for myself. But I'm just stalling , here's how my day went :

So yesterday was one of those really minor inconveniences that were cranked up to 11 but it still felt horrible anyways.

So mom was going to work and had to have dad drop me off instead of her and it was HORRIBLE. It was such a struggle to get ready with him practically telling me to do something and then get mad that I'm " slow " because we have to be out the door. Literally , I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth because he told me to and then a few seconds later he got mad at me for " taking my sweet time " when it was SECONDS. LATER. He said I " should've been done by now "

So then I went to school and drew art to calm down but it got more and more vicious. Then I had to hear about the 9/11 attacks and it made me feel so stupid and horrible inside for complaining about my family life when others have LOST family. Then in music class I asked to use the restroom and he told me to wait for someone called Jack to come out. I didn't know who Jack was and on top of that , I was focused on my work so I didn't see them walk in.

I asked the music teacher again and he told me to pay attention more because he said that Jack came back already. So I was like whatever and went to use the restroom. When I walked back in , the bell rang and I was trying to put the mallets into the case. The teacher told me to stop and said I need to stop being so slow. HE THEN ASKED ME IF I WAS ALWAYS THIS SLOW IN OTHER CLASSES AS IF OTHER TEACHERS WERE TALKING ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.

WTF MAN?!

I simply said " yes sir " like I would if my dad were talking shit about me and tried to pack up , finding it extremely hard to not cry. I tried getting through the hallway but it was crowded and these boys behind me were yelling at me to move and eventually pushed me into other people who were pushing back. It hurt like hell and I was just saying over and over " excuse me , sorry. Excuse me , sorry. Excuse me , sorry " over and over and over and over.

My arm felt limp but when I walked into reading class , I was literally breathing hard and shaking , shoving my sleeves to my face so the tears could be soaked up. I refused to let anyone see me as a weak easy target.

Sooooo yeah. I'm more calm about the situation but it just bothers me that my teachers could potentially be talking shit behind my back. Some of these issues aren't their or my fault but god damn it do I hate when I cry over the most minor issues. So what if I'm slow ? I know I am , I just need to have everything packed before I leave , whether I'm in the classroom or not.

I'm vibing to Heart Attack by Demi Lovato and in a little bit am going to my mom's house where my uncle and aunt are so I'm excited to get out of this hellhole house.