I am real,

And I don't believe in the show.

Take me as I am,

Or watch me as I go.

When I needed you all the most

I found none.

What's this redemption now?

When you have always come undone.

The dinner was a silent affair.

Sheetal and Aarav were in their room and hence, the family made clear attempts at showing how guilty and how sorry they were, for unknowingly but significantly putting Khushi in such an ordeal.

But to everyone's utter surprise, Khushi hardly paid any attention.

The girl who would always talk, weigh everything of others over herself, didn't show any courtesy as she kept her gaze lowered, concentrated on her food and disappeared into her room before anybody could even think of anything further as she finished her dinner.

Payal was disheartened.

Disheartened to see that her baby sister was behaving like this unknown entity that was seemingly so cold.

NK had tried being his usual self trying to levitate the grave situation, but even his efforts weren't fruitful.

But yes, if Khushi did smile at anyone during the whole dinner, it was only NK.

And why not?

He had always been that only person, that only friend of hers who had never left her back, even when others saw her with accusatory eyes in the past. And so how could she not be cordial with him?

When she had retired to her room, everybody didn't feel the heart to have their food anymore.

Akash, Nani, Anjali, even Mami to a great extent, were all frowning, just at the thought of everything that had conspired in the house in the last few days, ever since Sheetal entered their lives.

"Chotte! Have you done what I have asked you to do?"

Nani asked Arnav, as the latter only sat silently, not taking even one morsel from his plate.

"Yes, Nani. I have already informed Aman to finalize an apartment. Sheetal and Aarav will be out of Shanti Van in the next two days."

He replied with a straight face.

The old lady faintly smiled at that before sighing and the rest of the family too only hoped that this dark period was going to be over and they would get their happy go lucky Khushi back.

..

.

The world may betray us

But nature won't,

So in the stars I rely,

Even if you don't.

As they twinkle and shine with their bright light,

My existence matters to them and they show me delight.

So I sit here and gaze at the sky

It gives me the solace that I was always denied.

.

He watched her sitting alone in the poolside gazing at the night sky, the one that held infinite constellations of stars twinkling bright.

She was missing her parents, wasn't she?

He was getting all the more reasons to berate himself for this agonizing sphere he had enmeshed her in, though unintentionally, but still he was responsible for it.

He couldn't control the steps taking him to the poolside on their own accord, and by now she was very well aware of his presence.

She had already changed into her night clothes as she silently sat there and Arnav joined her, sitting right beside her.

Not even for a moment did she look away from the sky, and that made Arnav feel constricted from within.

After 10 seconds of looking at her, he too darted his gaze towards the sky, the sight of the twinkling stars greeting him instantaneously.

.

.

They didn't have a track of time as they sat there, enveloped in silence, with no one saying anything, but the palpable essence in the air speaking volumes.

The stars only waited, and waited, willing for at least something to conspire between the two souls; words, feelings, understanding: anything.

And it was only after a short while that they believed, they were not going to be disappointed tonight after all.

.

.

"Khushi, I have conquered the world, I have achieved infinity in its own way, butwords have always been a cheat, for that's one crooked thing in my life, which I never succeeded in acing."

Arnav was the first one to speak, in a tone that was hardly audible, but prominent enough to reach Khushi who sat beside him.

Her attention was completely on him now as she darted her sight at him, looking directly in the eyes of that self-made husband of hers, who today only looked anything but that.

"Words have been my enemy and nobody knows this better than you."

He paused as he looked at her keenly.

"I have tried Khushi. I have tried incessantly to always word it out to you, how much you mean to me, how much you drive me crazy just by your mere presence, how much you make me feel that life isn't doomed after all, that the tragic past isn't the apocalyptic gateway that I had always considered it to be."

She listened to him patiently.

Wasn't it a once in a blue moon sight, when Arnav Singh Raizada poured his heart out? And now that it was happening, she only focused on what he had to say.

"Khushi, I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to belittle you. I never wanted to make you feel bad. I erred, Khushi. I know, I erred bad. But trust me, I neverdid anything intentionally."

.

He held her hand in his, squeezing it slightly, his gestures showing the cauldron of emotions that were buzzing in his mind at this moment.

Khushi looked at their hands together, a faint smile curving on her lips.

She looked at the sky once again, but didn't withdraw her hand from his.

"You know Arnav Ji, I have never really been a self admirer. It is something that never sits well with me. I mean, what's the point? But if I always did admire one thing about me, it has to be my motto of looking ahead in life. Although every minute my conscience would remind me that I had nothing to look forward to, but I still would. For my family, for my loved ones, and for life as a whole."

It was Arnav's time to be a keen listener now.

She still had the small smile play on her lips as she went on,

"Despite the daunting past, where I lost my parents, got taken in by my foster family, where I did get love, but also tantrums, I only looked forward. To new days, new hopes, new learning. But there's only a limit till which you can forget everything and still march forward right?"

"..And so in the drill of everything that happened, every obstacle that I surpassed, every disaster that I faced, every problem that I overcame, I once again got another blow. And you know what that is?"

Arnav could read her sarcastic expressions as she added the question tag.

"It is that when I look back now, I only see that although I did surpass all the obstacles on my way, I could never defeat them. And when you can't defeat your problems, your imposters, and only circumvent them, feeling good riddance, you only land with a temporary solution, a temporary happiness, right?"

"And Arnav ji, temporary happiness can never give one a permanent gratification."

He looked at her eyes that were suddenly showing slight tints of mist.

He held on to her hand tightly as she now looked back at him and spoke,

"When I see now Arnav Ji, I see this beautiful family, I see you, my love, my husband, and I see us all happy. But when I look back, I still see the times you treated me bad, I still see the times I had to sacrifice my own happiness for my family, my sister, I see the times when to protect your own sister, you blatantly besmirched my faith, on marriage, on love, and the sanctity of life-long bonds, I see this business tycoon who had an abundance of girlfriends, one of who turns out to be in our life now, whereas that same business tycoon had once without a second thought assumed that I was in an illegitimate relationship with his brother in law."

"The present is good Arnav Ji, but if it is really perfect, then why do the traces of past still not go away?"

"I thought to change myself, you know. I understand we grew up in different backgrounds and our upbringing, our way of life set up the benchmarks of our perspectives and our beliefs. But to think of it, you had a list of women earlier in your life, whereas, for me, you have been the only one. But I don't really care about who were there in your past as long as I know that your present and future is only with me. But tell me Arnav Ji, why can I not feel the veracity in this sentence of our present and future together? Is it because we are stuck in a circle of fallacy?"

.

.

Khushi's words hit him like a jolt of lightening.

Every word, every phrase was only a constant reminder of how much he had wronged her and how much he had failed in this relationship with her that was so dear to him.

He went beyond perimeters when it came to his relationship with his elder sister, then what went so wrong that he failed this one relationship, which has been his most-prized possession?

Out of all the people in his life he could blankly put forth his acceptance of the fact that it has only been Khushi, who had been there by his side when he needed someone earnestly.

He had always been there for his family, especially his ever dependent sister, but when it was the time for him to have someone by his side, there was no one, except her.

The kidnapping, exposing Shyam, his professional life: She saved him and supported him during all the stormy phases.

Yet he failed her?

Shit!

.

The failure of his fashion show: She bore the brunt.

The failure of his sister's marriage: She bore the brunt.

Shyam's venomous words: She bore the brunt.

Di's inability to cope with the truth: She bore the brunt.

His hate: She bore the brunt.

His love: She bore the brunt.

His indifference: She bore the brunt.

Sheetal's entry in their life: She bore the brunt.

.

Add a more 100 postulates to that list, and he would only get one common answer: Khushi bore the brunt.

And that realization put him in an ocean of self-resentment.

How much had he wronged this poor soul? How could he even live with this fact that he had hurt this one woman in his life and damaged her beyond repair despite claiming to love her endlessly?

Unable to bear the noise of accusations from his own conscience, he threw his arms around her, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug, the charade of the mighty ASR all gone, as he wept silently, Khushi's Arnav wept silently, his insides churning as Khushi hugged him back after a while.

"Khushi! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I hate myself more than anything for all I have done, for all I have said! Please Khushi. Jab jo bura kaha, jab jo bura kiya, uska koi matlab nahi hai. Agar kisi cheez ka matlab hai toh is baat ka, that Khushi I LOVE YOU! I love you more than anything else in the world. And nothing is going to change that. Not my past, not my upbringing, not my family, not your god. And no bloody Sheetal, under any circumstance."

"YOU are my present and YOU are my future Khushi, and as long as I'm alive, there's absolutely nothing than can change that. Heck, if it were in my hands, I would go back in the past and carve your essence in each and every frame of it, so that when I looked back, I could be able to overlook my tragedies and only remember your very presence there."

He spoke at one go.

Khushi only smiled at his admittance, hugging him as tightly as he was hugging her.

Yes, she wanted to be vocal about her thoughts, her inhibitions, but she was only a human after all, a human in love, a wife who loved her husband tenderly with no ulterior motives.

And hence, never could she endure the sight of that one man she loved so deeply be this vulnerable and break down.

And with that thought, she pulled back slowly from the hug and looked at him.

She could so easily spot the unshed tears in his eyes and that really pained her. But still, she spoke,

"Arnav Ji, I told you right? I trust you. And thus, I trust every time you say you love me. How can I not believe it? Even Devi Maiyya can't change that fact for me. But sometimes, love is not all, is it? Would you still love me if I vilified you? Would you still love me if I questioned why did you always shun me off, to safeguard your sister's life? Would you still love me if I sabotaged your image for ruining my life that night of Akash Jiju and Jiji's marriage? Would you still love me if today a man from my past had to show up in our lives and I devoted all my attention to him and made you feel like you don't exist?"

"Or would you rather call me the biggest mistake of your life and regret meeting me ever like you had voiced that day in this very poolside?"

.

And another slap of reality was thrashed on Arnav.

It was often so easy for us to be on a spree of saying things to someone else, not really caring about the repercussions it inculcated on their minds, wasn't it?

And now when Arnav was finally aware of how it really would have been for his Khushi all along, he only fell a little more in the standard of respect in his own eyes.

"Anyway."

She said as she straightened herself and also plastered a smile on her face.

"Enough of these talks. I think we should sleep now Arnav Ji. You have office tomorrow and even I have to go meet Shea and her husband."

Arnav faintly nodded at that, getting up from the poolside after she did and they both together headed inside the room.

He knew that they didn't yet reach a win-win stage on this and that he had to walk some long miles, now that he was fully aware of the magnitude of damage he had caused to her.

But he was willing to do so.

More than willing.

If there was one person in this world now, who had the fundamental rights of making him go beyond his perimeters, it was only and only her.

He watched as she lay down on her side of the bed, wishing him a silent good night, and he was all set to follow suit and walk towards his side of the bed when suddenly his phone rang.

He took it out from his pocket and went at the other corner of the room to answer it.

"Yeah, Aman."

.

"Yeah. That's great."

.

"Yeah, I want it to be at the earliest."

.

"Hmm. There's no way I would want Sheetal and Aarav to stay here for one more day."

.

"Yeah, Aman. Thanks. Good night then."

.

He hung up as he breathed a sigh of relief hearing Aman say that he had found an apartment for Sheetal and Aarav and now they would be out of their lives.

He turned slightly to look at the bedside, and saw that Khushi was already asleep.

Perhaps she was too tired with the chores and everything that had conspired today since the morning.

He wanted to fix everything, pronto.

Khushi had shown him in less than 24 hours how he would have felt had Khushi been like him. Hot-headed, rude, carefree, and selfish. As much as he hated the fact that his Khushi had suffered so much in his own hands, he knew that this lesson was long due for him. At least now he knew where he needed to work and how he could rectify his mistakes.

He was all ready to walk towards the bed when suddenly something caught his attention.

He frowned as he saw the torn pieces of that DNA report- the very piece of paper that had served as the infamous base of every little fiasco in the last two days of their lives.

But how could it be lying here?

He could very easily point out that it was pulled out from the dustbin, as the crumpled state of the pieces quite well suggested so.

Who could do that?'

He thought to himself as he bent down and with a tad bit of hesitation, started arranging the torn pieces to get it remotely recreated to its original form, and after a little bit of effort, he did manage to do so.

As he looked at the report, he felt his heart skip a beat as out of everything, only the last bit smacked his whole essence, bringing him down from wherever he stood previously.

POSITIVE.

**