CHAPTER 2
Your anger can only scare souls,
But never conquer hearts;
For those you wrong effectively O dear,
Will eventually have their new starts.
Let your conscience answer this one,
So that you don't lose them this time.
Weren't you scared of that dark phase,
From which they pulled you out to sunshine?
Arnav didn't know what annoyed him the most right now.
The fact that Khushi was behaving this peculiar way, or the fact that somethingwas pricking him from within, the root cause of which he didn't know.
As he entered his room he saw Khushi folding her clothes, arranging them in the closet, behaving as if nothing happened sometime ago.
And that irked him more.
"Khushi!"
He called out, to which she only turned and smiled at him.
.
That was it.
How can she one minute be like this cauldron of question tags, showering questions without being discreet in front of their whole family, and the other minute she was being all casual acting oblivious to the whole world?
With that irritation reflecting on his face, Arnav asked her,
"Khushi! What was all that downstairs?"
She only looked at him with narrowed eyes, as if trying to recall what he was referring to.
Feigning a confused demeanor, she only replied with a question,
"What?"
.
This was the limit for Arnav.
He walked towards her in quick strides so that now he stood closely opposite to her, and with a penetrating gaze he said,
"You very well know, what I'm referring to!"
Khushi reciprocated his gaze in a relatively calm way before flashing a small smile.
"Oh that! Nothing, Arnav Ji. I just asked the questions I had in my mind, simple!"
What the hell was she doing?
Since when did Khushi start giving vague answers?
Arnav was losing his cool every minute and so without any bar of patience remaining in his radar, he gritted,
"Care to explain?"
Khushi only looked at him for a while before letting out a small sarcastic laugh.
When she was finally sure that she was going to frame in words what she wasthinking, she spoke in a calm tone,
"Arnav Ji. I really don't understand you at times."
"You say I should learn to say no, you say I should not jump into helping others, you say I'm way too innocent and immature for this world, you say I should seek for answers to things I don't know, you say I don't know how to deal with problems, you say I hardly know a thing or two about this world, about the people.. And yet,
.. yet, you ask me what was that?"
.
Arnav was slightly taken aback hearing her say all those words without a pause.
All of it was factual, because he did taunt her for all of that often, yet his ever so concrete ego that had cemented layers and layers of opaque tenacity that would never let him bend, didn't allow him to face that question for real.
When Khushi saw that Arnav was still looking at her with a heated yet confused gaze, she averred,
"Arnav ji, I was doing something you always wanted me to do. Face the problem! Seek for answers! Deal with my problem! Ask questions!"
She paused deliberately to make sure Arnav was all attentive, and when she was confirmed of it, she added,
"You say Sheetal Ji was your ex girlfriend, who by the way happens to be a singlemother, with a son that is a clone of you, talking, walking, eating like you. She is a Kapoor yet her son is ASR, with a colossal knack for gardening by the way, along with being diabetic, just like you! She refrains from saying even one bit about Aarav's father, and if that wasn't enough, I find her looking at yours and hers photographs from college days secretly in her room."
She sighed as she turned back, diligently devoting all her attention to the closet as she kept the folded clothes inside and shut the wardrobe door.
"Phew! (She sighed completing the chore) And so.. I asked her those questions."
She added, the small smile still plastered on her face, whereas her heart wanted to cry out loud for she knew the repercussions of everything that she had just said had been killing her every minute, every second.
.
Arnav was flabbergasted hearing all those words come out from her mouth.
What pricked him even more was the smile that was still sitting on her baby pink lips.
And for the first time Arnav Singh Raizada realized that the smile was only a charade, because after everything she just uttered, it was only too clear to him that what turbulence her mind would have been going through all this while.
And that thought immediately softened his expression, his demeanor, his mindset.
He kept a hand on Khushi's shoulder, suddenly feeling this urge to be close to her, while Khushi only stood rooted to her spot, showing no relevant effect of him touching her.
He looked at her affectionately before saying in a soft tone,
"Khushi.. I, I told you Sheetal was my past. She meant nothing, and means nothing to me."
To that Khushi only widened her smile affirming that she knew whatever he said.
She had always been a patient listener whenever it was about him, after all. And so with a small nod, she said,
"I know Arnav Ji. But just for argument's sake, let me ask you a question."
Arnav waited with bated breath to hear what she had to ask, oblivious to the fact that the question was going to completely throw him off guard.
"When I had shouted and begged you to believe me that I had nothing to do with Shyam Ji, did you believe me?"
.
.
Arnav's hand immediately released her shoulder as his eyes grew wide, the layers and layers of that big fat cemented ego falling on the ground mercilessly, and at this time it was only his conscience that was able to get to him.
His conscience that quite sarcastically whispered, 'What goes around, comes around.'
.
And so while he stood there idle, suddenly feeling like a powerless soul who didn't know what to draft verbally anymore, Khushi only looked at him with her docile expression, but her insides weren't so docile anymore.
She had realized it long, long ago that it were the straight trees that got cut first, but never did she think that her diligent, timid, selfless, giving personality was going to push her to the field of futility of life, in her family, in her marriage, and most of all, in love.
And even if she didn't care about herself that much, she was going to make sure this time that at least her voice got heard.
And so she stated,
"I don't want to go in the past Arnav Ji. Because I don't live there anymore. I'm thankful for how our destiny shaped us to be, and also pay my respect to Devi Maiyya every day for giving me this life, you, this family. But.."
She paused while Arnav felt this heaviness shoot up in his chest looking at her indefinably callous face.
"But I really don't know how much more I would be able to take after all this. I always try my best you know. To give the happiness to others that I was devoid of in my childhood. But never did I know that in this process, I will end up losing myeverything."
And this time she couldn't control the lone tear that escaped her eye and trickled down her cheek, making Arnav's heart clench.
"Khushi.. I-"
He immediately stepped forward to touch her but stopped as she gestured him to, with her next words.
"No Arnav Ji. Don't worry. I trust you. And never will I coax you to do something you don't want to indulge in."
And he was immediately taken back to the moment he had blatantly ignored all her pleas when he had forcefully married her, coaxing her into doing something she never wanted to indulge in.
The heavy cloud of guilt blanketed him as that flash of memory played in his head.
"If you say Sheetal Ji meant nothing to you, means nothing to you, I trust you Arnav Ji. With all my heart. Just that I had some questions in my mind and so I asked them. I do have that right, na?"
She asked rhetorically, making Arnav feel all the more guilty at that innocent question from her.
He was so caught up with this sudden guilt, haze, confusion, and self-loathe that for the first time, he had no words to validate the inner turmoil that was occupying him.
"Khushi.. I, I-m Sorr.. I-"
"It's okay, Arnav Ji. It will all get better tomorrow! Isn't it? I gotta go! Got loads of work in the kitchen."
And saying that she lashed out of the room, giving no scope to the ever mighty ASR to grab her and pull her to listen to him, like he always did.
Because for the first time ever, Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada had made him come face to face with the real reality, the one that he was so egoisticallyunfamiliar with, and the one that made his mind pop a small question.
'Did he annihilate their relationship?'
So you erred, yet you bragged
For the girl you had forcefully dragged,
Into the cobwebs with no escape.
Does that now make you sad?
The reality that you never saw
And the lowest low that you stooped..
How does it feel looking at the mirror now?
Is it like you, in terms of being rude?
This is how it feels after all,
When an encaged starts to fly.
There's only little you can do now dear,
For she is mercilessly bitten and twice shy.
**
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