Broken dreams and bleeding hearts are not easily sustained.

When every corner of your mind is hammered with pain and loss everything disappears.

And today all that exists in this world vanished in thin air making Mrs Raizada just a lifeless soul.

In one single day her identity changed altogether. A woman goes through a lot of challenging phased in her long life. But this morning brought with it a painful reminder of her hopeless tomorrow.

Her first marriage brought nothing but darkness for her. A darkness that swallowed her pride and self esteem. But she chose to forget that and learn from that incident proving to herself and everyone that she is mentally strong. However after a few challenging months things changed for the better. She tied the second and official knot which was nothing less than a rebirth. Her sweet and loving husband made her a woman. Her personality bloomed in his presence. She grew more confident and her strength increased a ten fold.They were each others support. A power couple, defending and depending on one another.

And today she has lost it all. Now there wont be anyone to pass a shy smile at her. Nor there will any soft goodnight kisses full of promises. From now on it will be her...only her. Tears cascaded down her pale face and a chill ran down her body as she placed her hand on her flat stomach where a part of him now continued to breath. With a smile she remembered how just two days ago he had swung her in his muscular arms in sheer happiness after hearing about her pregnancy. She felt a sob building within her chest at the memory.

Promising herself to be strong for this new life within her, she wiped her tears yet again. Three months of togetherness. 90 days filled with love and only love. She was really lucky to have him even if it was for such a short time. And after bringing her baby in this world she will make sure that he or she will become a good natured humble being like his father.

A hand shot out to her shoulder shaking her out of the reverie. Mrs Raizada turned sideways to notice her sister weeping for her loss. The only genuine one who literally loved her, not just in theory.Their eyes met for a second. When painful green eyes met with hurtful hazel orbs she naturally embraced her doe eyed sister. Always together the two had seen a lot in their lives. But this sunny morning felt so different.

Dont cry so much. Please. You need to look after yourself now. Think about the baby.

With the nod of her head Mrs. Raizada took strength from her sisters words. She had to live. Be normal. For the symbol of her love. For that little soul who is nothing more than a peanut yet. Breaking their embrace the shell of a woman glanced at her in laws sitting at a distance. All the keen and compassionate eyes with unsaid words gave her the will to gather herself. They are her family too. She has to be strong for everyone. She mused.

I will have to for my baby. Right?

Her sister nodded with a small smile encouraging her nonetheless. Mrs. Raizada caressed her sisters head admiring her maturity of handling things. Her thoughts were cut off when she saw the silhouette of a man on her husbands garland clad photo. Pure hatred bubbled inside her. And a vigorous need for vengeance shot her livid mind.

With a sneer she turned around to face the murderer of her husband and father of her unborn child. The only thing that stopped her was her sisters supportive hand on her shoulder. For once only for once Mrs Raizada wanted to be cruel and violent. Just for this tiny moment her fierce self desired his blood. And this desire boiled at an alarming rate as soon as the man opened his mouth.

I...I am sorry. I did not expect this to happen...

Pursing her lips she controlled the lioness within her. Dont let the man cause you any stress. Think for your baby first. Your love for the little one is far more than your hatred for this being. Control. Be calm. For your little guy. She pleaded her mind to remain composed. So pointing her index finger at the now guilt filled eyes she replied so coldly that all the Raizadas behind her could only cringe with disappointment.

Oh Really? Can your mistakes be remedied? Can you bring back my husband? Can the arrogant shrewd ASR make sure that my KID WONT BE AN ORPHAN!?!?!

The man wanted the earth to swallow him as accusation were thrown at him left right and center. He deserved every insult from Mrs.Payal Akaash Singh Raizada. After all it is because of his wrong doings that today his brother Akaash is no longer alive. The pregnant widow of his brother had every bl**dy right to do so. Still he tried to ask for forgiveness with no hope, from her.

Payal please please listen to me...

Scoffing at his softly spoken words Payal ignored him and turned back to stare at the smiling face of the love of her life. Her sweet Akaash. The spectacle wearing cute gentleman who always made her feel special about herself. The kind hearted soul who was now resting somewhere in heaven now. Not wanting to speak to the murderer she turned to her  sister for help.

Khushi, tell this monster to stay away from me and my growing child. I dont want to stay around his evil shadow.

Standing two feet away Payals blunt and cold mother in law for the first time did not say anything bad to her. Rather she came forward to caress her head trying to share her pain. Payal hugged the lady with all her might. If she had lost her husband then this woman too lost her young and happy son. Tightening her arms around the elderly woman she wailed outloud.

I Want My AKAASH Maaji. I want my husband. I...I...

Yesterdays accident, the shock, denial and todays acceptance all took its toll on Payal Singh Raizada. Slowly her eyes drooped and then darkness took over her making the tired woman unconcious to the rest of the world. Nani and Khushi in seconds gathered around Mami to hold the shattered soul and all the three of them shouldered her weak body. Once a ruthless man the guilt ridden Arnav Singh Raizada called out again.

Khushi let me help...

Gazing back at her now repentant contract husband Khushi only moved her head sideways in disappointment. The man had had several chances to redeem and make positive choices in life but his insecurities and ego failed him as a human being. The consequences of his ASRish ways were now bitterly evident on their faces.

Arnav Singh Raizada had it all. Money, power, fame and all the luxuries of life. But today he failed as a family man. As a brother. As a brother in law. As a husband. Leaning at the nearest pillar for support, he saw how the women in the family carried Payals unconscious body to her bedroom. Closing his eyes with tiredness he slid down the floor fisting his hands to control himself from breaking down.

And his mind flashed back to last night which turned so dark for the Raizadas that now no amount of brightness would be of any help.

A murderous looking Shyam...

Confessing his sins with a gun in his hands pointing at all the frightened Raizadas...

Revealing his and Khushis contractual marriage of 6 months...

Accusing him after learning about the trustee of Raizada property being changed from Anjali to Aman...

Screaming and firing a bullet in his direction..

And the humane act of his brother Akaash who did not allow the bullet to touch him...

This morning had changed everything altogether. There was no misunderstanding, no hatred between Khushi and him. He felt sorry for his actions against Khushi. He wanted to repent too. But a pregnant Payals harsh gaze and open accusations made him feel less of a man. Yet again ASR had ruined her life along with her sister. And this time no sorry and apology would work because this sin is unforgivable. This time his mistake costed him the life of Akaash. His brother and best friend rolled in one.

When his heart skyrocketed between the chaos of his mind he opened his eyes in reflex. A pale and broken Khushi stood before him with no challenge or playfullness adoring her features. The hazel eyes held a sense of seriousness that he never witnessed before. The woman had married him on a contractual basis for her sisters happiness. And ASR had successfully ruined that happiness.

He stood up in a jiffy using the pillar for support. He wanted to say so much but unfortunately no words slipped out of his mouth. The blunt and emotionless ASR was absent today replaced by a tortured mute soul. Before he could gather the courage to speak to her she spoke the words which shook his humanity.

Congratulations. You succeeded. Me and my middle class family will never be the same again. You were right. You are God. You wrote a real disaster in the destiny of Guptas.

A gasp of shock escaped his lips hearing such blunt and cold words by Khushi his wife who till now had never ever been rude to even a fly. Today her hazel eyes were questioning the existence of his pride and ego. And this time he was the one who stood helpless, with sagged shoulders and lowered head. Being on the other end hurt like hell. This moment made him aware of how many times Khushi felt humiliation and pain, all courtesy of his ASR self. Two tears rolled down his red remorse filled eyes.

I did not want this to happen Khushi. Believe me I never thought that I would loose Akaash and destroy Payals happy married life. She is....expecting and Akaash is no more. I Hate Myself for This. I really do.

Khushi Kumari Gupta had fought whatever life threw in her direction with all her willpower but today she too felt exhausted. A sense of tiredness took over her. She no longer wanted to defeat this man. She was done. Maybe this time for life. Yes love is important but not more than ones self respect. Shaking her head at her own foolishness of letting this act drag for longer than needed Khushi decided there and then what she wanted more in life.

Do not expect me to stay here for long. We no longer have a contract. Because the collateral we shared has lost his life. I am only here for my Jeeji. I dont need a man like you in my life Mr. Raizada.

One pair of chocolate eyes fell out of their sockets at the sudden cold declaration. While a determined set of hazel orbs did not even blink in response. The two souls who had ignited fire with their chemistry once now stood at a dead end. One understood the meaning of trust and the other comprehended what worthiness meant. For a fleeting moment time paused. The two recalled memories. The good and the bad times. From the accidental fall to the loss of a loved one. And then the two parted ways.

Arnav Singh Raizada stood where he was with a hand raised in the air trying to think of anything to stop Khushi Kumari Gupta. And the said woman turned away without a second glance only to rush up the stairs that led to her sisters room.

They had arrived at an impasse.
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I recently lost my Maternal uncle. I wanted to grieve for the loss. But had to remain strong for my mother. I did not cry. And now I have lost the tears. Maybe they are buried somewhere and I will breakdown when the time comes. This is my way of dealing with it.