Jennie's POV

Chaos, that's how everything has been. After both our company CEO's caught us all hanging out on our dorm, not to mention Lisa and Jungkook coming out of the same room, it's just a matter of time before a bomb out of patience explodes within our boss.

He was disappointed, especially to me.

Even before, being the first trainee out of us four, I knew he expects a lot from me - in a sense of being responsible for the group at least.

But I failed him. I have been failing him a lot of times. Because that's what I am,  a failure.

My brows furrowed when I heard someone calling my name. I just had a photoshoot near the Music Show station and I decided to drop by. Irene and I promised to go out before our group heads to Australia to shoot for BlackpinkTv. And of course, due to Chaeyoung's condition. Things were decided abruptly and I don't even have time to tell Taehyung all the details.

The upper management is frantic and we were just so thankful YG Sajangnim is still doing everything for us.

"Wendy!" I laughed when I recognized the voice of the person who was calling me. "Why are you running?" I pulled her for a hug and she giggled.

"Are you looking for Irene unnie?" she asked and I nodded. Red Velvet and Blackpink had always been friends ever since. The only time we had our indifferences is when Chaeyoung and Seulgi happened. But we know the two had already made up.

"She's out there on the opposite side. She was a guest MC earlier with Bogum oppa and they were hanging out for a moment. I'm about to go there actually, let's go!" she pulled my right hand as she happily leads the way. I swear Wendy is such a handful sometimes. But she's so adorable you just can't help but love her.

"I heard that you're going to Australia. Can I come too?" she looked at me while pouting.

"Hunn, with all of your schedules, I don't even think it's possible for you guys to breathe," I joked and she pouted even more.

We ended up bantering as we continued to head to where Irene unnie was,  even occasionally meeting other idol friends.

"There she is! Oh, annyeong haseyo," she greeted as her eyes landed on the people in front.

However, I almost stood frozen in my place when I saw the view before me.

Irene unnie was giggling as Taehyung was down on his knees while he knots the lace of Irene's shoes. His face was stretched into a beautiful smile, the same one that made my heart do somersaults whenever.

However, seeing him looking so happy in front of one of my friends almost took my breath away. Not in fancy, heart fluttering way but the exact opposite of its sense.

It has been days since we last talked, "He looks so happy," I whispered to myself.

What hurts the most is that they fucking look good together.

"Anyeonghaseyo," I bowed slowly and lowly in order to hide the shocked expression on my face. The last thing I want to happen is for Taehyung to see how I am taking all of this. Besides,  we are not in very good terms these past few days.

"Oh, annyeong!" Bogum oppa smiled at me and bowed the same. "Tae!  You two know each other, right?" My eyes almost widened when Bogum oppa looked at Tae.

But then I shouldn't have been worried coz clearly, Taehyung knows the right words to say. Though I can't say that I'm particularly happy about it.

"Of course, hyung. Her member and Jimin were dating. So occasionally, we see each other because of our members," he answered and I avoided his glance when I saw him stand closer to Irene. He's done tying her shoelaces.

"Oh right, Jennie and I will be hanging out. See you soon Bogum oppa. Taehyung, I will message you later. Thank you for the meal," she stated and I felt my heart crushed into pieces when I saw what they did next. Irene moved forward and gave Taehyung a hug,  a rather long one.

"I'm glad you enjoy the food," I heard him answer and my eyes went straight to Wendy's who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Don't you think they look so good together? You know, a lot of fans have been shipping them with their looks. And even you too! Do you know fans are shipping you with Taehyung?" she whispered and I shake my head.

Of course, I knew about it. And I knew about them being shipped too.

"There you are!" we all turned our heads to the door when Redvelvet's manager came in.  "Sorry but you guys had a sudden appointment," she stated and Wendy let out a long sigh.

They must be exhausted.

"Jennie, I'm sorry but can we go next time?" Irene moved forward and gave me a hug which I returned. Whatever I saw earlier won't make me hate her. It's all on me.

"No worries, we can do it next time," I told her and once I looked forward, I caught Taehyung staring at me so I looked away.

My stomach was churning and to be honest, I feel like I just wanted to crawl back to my bed and cry.

I knew I loving him means getting hurt too. He's every woman's dream, even men's. How stupid of me to think that he'll just be mine?

Soon enough, their manager was rushing them out so I was left alone with the two.

I gulped.

"Ah, I need to go too. Nice seeing you Bogum oppa, Taehyung sunbae," I greeted and like always, Bogum oppa smiled.

Turning my back, I rushed to go outside so I can be away from him. A long breath escapes my lips the moment I turned on my right. I didn't know I was holding it in for that long.

I was about to move forward when I felt a hand grabbing into mine, my eyes widening as I felt myself being pushed inside a storage room.

Before I can even scream, an all too familiar voice had once again rocked my system.

"Scream and we'll surely be plastered on every k-social media sites in two minutes," Taehyung whispered, the air he released send shivers down through my spine.

"What now?" I tried to hide my emotions by trying to act sassy to him. "Why did you pull me in here?" I snarled, pushing him away. He was too close for my liking - at least for now.

"Are you expecting me to let you go after I saw your lips quivering? Why are you crying Jennie?" he asked and once again, my eyes scanned his entirety.

So I'm just Jennie now, huh?

Damn him. He really has to wear the GUCCI shirt I gave him as a gift while flirting with someone else, huh?

I gritted my teeth in anger as I muster the best poker face that I have.

No,  Taehyung. I refuse to show my weakness all over.

"Why would I cry? I'm perfectly fine Taehyung. Don't bother yourself over something that isn't important," I answered and I heard him sigh. I'm not sure if he was expecting it but by looks, he was giving, he was expecting those words from me.

"Important, that's a word you would never refer to me, huh?" he asked and his eyes mask the deepest sorrow I have ever seen in him.

"Tae, you know that's not what I meant," I sigh, "Can I leave now?"I asked and he groans.

"Will you really be like this until the end?" his hands landing on his waist. I can clearly hear how exhausted he sounded.

"What? If this is about us being official, I told you my answer Taehyung," with all the strength left in me, I tried to make sure I don't falter in my words.

He pokes his right cheek with his tongue, his eyes closed. How is he still looking so hot even in a dark place like this? He was shining - like literally.

"Why?" he asked and I'm done.

"I've told you before, I don't wanna keep on repeating myself," I am starting to get pissed off.

Not everything is about being official. Can't he be happy that we're together? That we understood each other?

"I get it. But please, stop acting like I was cheating whenever you see me with some girl. According to you, we're not together so I hope I won't see your lips quivering like you're so close to crying every time," he stated and I felt my lips dry.

Seeing him with other girls, I don't think I can handle it.

"No," Before I knew it, I already have spoken what's on my mind.

"Jennie..." he let out a sigh.

My hands balled into a fist,  my mind keeps on replaying that time I saw an idol confessed to him and the scene with Irene.

"No," I repeated myself. My eyes focusing on his. "I don't like seeing you with someone else. I thought I made it clear the first time I claimed you," I told him.

I am never someone who demands on him but I know he always gives in. However this time, I want to be selfish.

"Then let's do it right, Jennie" he whispered and the way he sounded was almost close to begging which made me mum in silence.

He waited.

But I wasn't ready.

"Not now, Tae. We still have this issue with Chaeyoung and Ji-" my words were cut off by his own.

"That has always been the case, Jennie. You would fight for your members and take it all out on me. I'm hurting too but you never cared. Just because I'm always here doesn't mean I won't get tired," he stated which almost took the life out of me.

He stared at me in the eyes and I felt it - his pain, unbearable and almost heartbreaking.

"Just because I am always here doesn't mean I can't leave," he whispered and I felt my body shaking, his words too overwhelming.

"Because I'm so close to doing that,  so I can save myself. I'm drowning,  Jennie. I'm in pain. And I can't save myself 'coz all I did was save you. If no one can save me, I have no choice but to save myself too," he finished and we're both at a loss for words.

"For you,  it's a wall between me and your members. And no matter how much I try to jump over that wall, you just don't allow me. Do you think this is still worth it? Do you feel that I am not worth it?" he asked.

"GUCCI..." I whispered but I can't seem to add anything.

Why Jennie? Why can't you answer him?

Slowly, I watch as he moved closer to my direction. He turned my body gently and I felt his hands wrapped around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder.

He was just there, hugging me from behind. His ragged breathing is more than enough to make cry.

Not after five minutes, I heard him whisper something to my ear until I saw his hand reached for the doorknob before gently pushing me outside.

With confused and shaken state, alone, distraught, and more importantly, away from him, I slowly made my way to our manager's car.

"Home..." I whispered, my voice cracking at the end.

Once I'm inside, I reached for a pillow and bent down a little pretending to be asleep.

Coz it's the only thing I can do to make sure my manager won't see how my tears are continuously falling.

Taehyung's words, it wrecked me. But probably wrecked him even more.

"I love you so I'm letting you go. But once you're ready, come back to me. I'll wait for you. I will wait,"

Taehyung, he just ended "us", didn't he?

And it fucking hurts.

Did I make the right decision?