Jennie's POV

"It's not fair. This isn't fair," I poured my heart out at the very person who had been the reason why I am always looking forward to those moments that I don't have any scheduled activity just so I can see him. 

His gazed burning with sincerest affection and concern, my heart almost leaping, butterflies almost running my intestines altogether. 

The moment I walked out after that emotional confrontation that I had with the apparently "wedded-couple", he immediately followed and I couldn't thank him any less. 

My hands were on my forehead as I try to grasp everything that had happened while his hands were gently rubbing my back with him standing here in front of me. 

"Did you know?" I look up, worry visible in my eyes. I probably wouldn't be able to handle everything at this point and literally give up if I ever find out that he knows about it too and he allowed for me to be left in the dark. 

You wouldn't, right? You won't do that to me too. I wanted to say but I stopped myself. 

His loving gaze was focused on me as he answered. "No. Though I once saw Jimin's ring and asked about it. I mean, it caught us by surprise too..." he stated and I bit my lower lip in realization. 

"Everyone but Yoongi doesn't know. And of all people, why just him? Why not us too?" I can't help but whine, the painful truth wrecking me all over again.

"Is it that hard to tell me? I always got her back. I will fight for her when she can't. Her battles, I considered them my own. So why?" my voice cracked at the end. 

"You heard her Jennie. You know yourself Chaeyoung will tell you of she can," he explained and I knew he got a point. 

But it still hurts inside. 

Is Yoongi oppa that special that we can be left out but not him? 

I am in a mess and he understood why yet I can do anything except stop. 

I'm heartbroken, devastated, and more importantly, hurt. 

But no matter what happens, Chaeyoung is almost blood. And like what they always say, blood is thicker than water, so I'll stick with her regardless of how hurt I was. 

My eyes landed on the man in front of me. 

The moments I had talked a lot of shit on Taehyung all because of my love and concern for my members had always been straight upfront and almost the very reason why we always talk. 

He didn't once complain about it. He listens to my endless chatters and never complains.

And now, me finding out that Chaeyoung had been married to Jimin for almost two years was definitely a good hard blow to my ego and once again, it's Taehyung who was here for me. 

It's always him.

"She can tell Yoongi oppa but not us, her members? How is that fair?" tears continuedly streamed down my cheeks, unable to fight the emotion I have within me at this point. 

Not that I was against it but I guess, the fact that we never knew kinda hit it real home. 

Taehyung knew I had always hated his guts simply because he's Jimin's friend and group member. For me, Jimin's regular stupidity of making Chaeyoung cry is such a crime that I can't help but get really really mad because of it. 

"It's because you're too attached. You give too much," these are the words people always say towards me. But it was never the case. 

The girls equally loved me the way I love them back and if I'm being honest, it was mostly Taehyung who sees my rage whenever. 

He didn't utter a word. Instead, I felt his arms wrapped around my shoulder, the other at the back of my head as he pulled me closer my face ending on his tummy. 

"Everything will be fine, GUCCI. You can cry all you want. I won't leave you. Never..." he whispered and this breaks me even more. 

Taehyung, why does it always have to be him who always stays by my side when I'm vulnerable and close to showing the worse in me? 

"Why?" I asked confused. "Why are you still here with me?" my voice broke a little, I tried to search his eyes for any sign opposite to sincerity but I found none. 

Why do you have to be so pure and transparent, Taehyung? 

"What kind of question is that?" his voice was stern but I can still feel how his hands never left my body. No matter what I said to him, he still looks at me like he cares. 

"I'm messed up," I started,  an ugly smirk showing on my face. But it's painful and suffocating. "I'm goddamn messed up. Why do you have to put up yourself with me?" I asked, emotions getting ahead of me. 

"You'll betray me too, wouldn't you?" I asked, lifting my gaze so I can meet the equally hurt expression reflecting on the glint of his beautiful orbs. 

My lips quiver in shock and absurdity of my words.

Great, Jennie. You did it again. 

You hurt everyone. Now, you're even hurting the only person that is willing to stay with you. 

I knew I hurt him with my words. For making it sounding like I don't trust him and that I view him differently. But God knows how I see him like he's the best that had come into my life. 

He's starting to be my everything and I don't think that's a risk I'm willing to take at this point. 

Not when my group is in a mess...my other member turned out to be married and the person who holds the most of my emotion is slowly taking over everything that I had always been in control with. 

As much as I would like to deny it, I'm starting to fall deeply in love with the man who stole my GUCCI. 

But then we ended up being each other's GUCCI. Isn't that strange? 

I heard him. I heard his question. I heard when he asked. 

I wanted to say yes. I want to. And that I'd be glad to. 

But I can't. 

Blackpink had been hit multiple times. The next hit might end up straight into bull's eye. I didn't train for years to let that happen, especially not by being caught by a dating rumor with another Bangtan member. 

Chaeyoung getting caught will hit us hard enough. 

"Jennie, stop it. Stop thinking that you can always fix everything. Stop thinking that you need to sacrifice yourself for them because that's not just it. Talk to your members. You can't always decide on everything. Leave something for yourself too. And don't ever think that I'll leave you because I won't." he whispered but I pushed him a little. 

He looked at me pained and I wanted to move and grab him. The feeling of him around my arms, I know I can't have them to myself forever. 

"I know," I told him. "That's why I'm doing what I have to do," I stood up from my seat, my breath hitching at the realization that the strength I had from sitting down may have been from him from the beginning. 

"I'm setting you free. You don't need to be obligated to run yourself towards me," I looked at him straight in the eye as I try to look strong and unaffected but I know I'm far from that.

"Stay away from me while you can because I'm no good for you. You will get hurt over and over. So please..." I whispered, my head hanging low as I stare on the ground.

It's the most logical decision to make but why does it feel like I'm being torn into nothingness?

The air on my lungs feels like it's being suck out of my chest and my throat was hurting.

I am not strong. Even though they think that I am coldhearted I'm not strong enough because I feel like dying.

Why is it this painful to let him go when we never even had a relationship, to begin with?

It will be painful if I let him go but he might get hurt if I ask him to stay.

I was startled when his arms wrapped around my almost drained body.

"I won't go away. I won't leave even if you ask me to so stop pushing me away. I'll wait, GUCCI. I'll wait until you're ready. I'll wait until you can share a space for me inside your heart. I'll wait...." he whispered and his pleading tone killed me even more.

It's not right and I know I shouldn't give in. It's not fair to him. I can't give him what he wanted - commitment.

But I guess I'm really that selfish because I honestly don't want to let him go.

So I wrapped my arms around his waist while my face was buried on my chest.

This... Why does this feel so right even after everything had gone wrong?