Jennie's POV

Brushing a few strands of hair covering my face, I slowly turned to a corner as I search for the room where my interview will be made. 

YG had set a guesting for me which I rarely do because I'm more comfortable in attending fashion shows that being in some reality tv guesting. 

People usually think I have a strong personality and can carry myself well but the truth is, being away with my members scares me too much. 

For me, every move that I will make might affect the whole group,  every word that comes out of my mouth will be a reflection of the whole us, and that scares me. 

After calming down my nerves, I continue walking down the hallway on my own, my manager staying at the reception to fix something. 

"It's fine Jennie, there's nothing to worry about..." I whispered to myself hoping it would be enough to gather every confidence that I can muster, the only hope that is left of me so I can move forward. 

A lot had happened with Bangtan and Blackpink. There's Bangtan winning the Billboards, Chaeyoung and Jimin breaking up only to get back again after the whole Chaeyoung of Twice and Le Hyun Woo fiasco. And those everyday banters that we had. 

Bangtan and Blackpink, we were almost inseparable. I am actually surprised Dispatch hasn't caught us staying in each other's dorms. 

And Taehyung... 

He's still the same. He's still the first person who comes to me and the last person I see before I sleep at night. If not in person, he'd make sure to video call. 

And of course, to the eyes of our members, we're still the same Taehyung and Jennie that don't like each other that much. At least that's how they see it on my end. 

Sometimes, I ask myself if I deserve Kim Taehyung. 

I'm sure it had been more than a year or so but he's still there. After I had a breakdown in front of him, he had been careful not to pressure me for any label on our relationship which I appreciate a lot. Or if he ever asks me about it, I refused and he said okay. 

He should be okay with it. 

Blackpink is my priority at this time and right at this moment, I'd still stand firm to that decision unless I felt otherwise. Besides, Taehyung will always be there. He can wait. He told me he will wait. 

So I'm holding onto his words. 

A smile emerges on my face at the thought of him. 

I can still remember how he surprised me on my last birthday. 

After sneaking into my room without any of my other members know,  he left me multiple gifts on my bed with a sweet handwritten letter on it. And if that isn't enough, he had given me the best gift ever - a serenade at the rooftop along with our usual picnic-style meetups. 

As much as I would like to deny it, Kim Taehyung had made my heart feel so secure. I like him. I like him a lot, and a few hugs and kisses here and there made me feel giddy every time.

Without me knowing, he had started to take a huge part in my life. A portion which I'm not sure I would be okay if a time comes he no longer holds into.

Halting from my tracks, my brows furrowed when I noticed an all too familiar form standing a few away from me, his perfect side profile making my knees go weak. 

My heart started beating like crazy and in a flash, the insides of my stomach felt like being tied into endless knots. The feeling of uneasiness started to consume my body. 

That can't be...

Taehyung's hands were inside of his pant's pocket while he stares at the girl in front of him. 

The girl was a rookie idol and even though I'm standing a few feet away from them I can clearly see how her cheeks blush and how her gaze was directed on Taehyung's shoes, probably uneasy and shy looking at him straight in the eyes. 

My eyes scanned the corridor. Thank God there wasn't anyone in the vicinity. This is actually a secluded part of the building where meetings are mostly held. 

I remember Taehyung telling me something about a schedule but I didn't know he will be here too.

My heart felt like it was knocked out of my chest when I saw the crook of Taehyung's lips forming a smile, something I have never imagined I would see him doing especially since it's not directed towards me. 

Calm down, Jennie. They are just talking. 

"Sunbae..." the girl started. I tried to ransack my mind what the name of the girl was. I knew their group since they just debuted but I was too out of focus I think my mind got sidetracked and I can't remember them quite a bit. 

Taehyung didn't answer, instead, he just waited for the girl to finish. 

Without even thinking, I reached for my phone and started typing a message to him. 

"Where are you?"

Once I hit send, I saw him pulled out his phone from his pockets and read the message. 

However, seeing how he just took a glance at his phone that fast made my heart clench in pain. 

My heart stopped beating when I saw him put his phone back in his pocket after reading my message, not even bothering to send me a response. 

It was as if my face got hit by a damn truck. 

Kim Taehyung just ignored me. 

He ignored me. 

Because of another girl. 

"Sorry, continue..."I heard him mutter but I was too devastated about what just happened, shocked that a day will come when Kim Taheyung will disregard me. 

The girl's cheeks turned the brightest red and hearing Taehyung chuckle made my heart feel numb. My stomach felt like churning, it was as if thousands of ants were fighting inside which is very unnatural for me. I always keep my poise and composure but seeing this in front of me is a different thing. 

"Sunbae...I like you.." the girl said and it was as if a bucket of ice was just thrown straight to my face. 

The loud thumping of my heart almost took the life out of me, my body trembling in nervousness and my lungs feel like I'm getting suffocated. Seeing Kim Taehyung smiling to someone else makes me realize how easy it is for him to turn his back and walk away from me.

But he won't.

He won't, right?

With that uncertainty, I muster all the strength I have in me and turn on my heels.

I can't do this. I can't see Taehyung with someone else.

I don't have the courage to listen to his answer to the girl's confession.

His sweet words, his beautiful smile, I'm not ready to find out that he's willing to share them with someone else.

Shit.

But I can't exactly do just what I want to do. If Chaeyoung's contract doesn't include a dating ban, mine has something else.

It's not just about my emotions alone.

Blackpink...

My dreams...

Our fans...

My family...

My contract...

Him...

With slow steps, I started walking away from him... Until I started walking faster, like how my heart is going crazy right now.

I'll wait for the manager first before I head back to where I should be. Besides, I still have an hour before the agreed time.

For now, I'll stay away from Taehyung...

Until I figure things out.

Until I figure myself out.

Because right now, I felt like dying.

Just thinking about him leaving me makes me wanna crawl under my bedsheets and cry.

I can't lose Taehyung... Not now...

Or not ever.