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Hex Penguin's Lesson: How to Escape Being Tied Down to a Chair

Late November 2015

Tyler's POV

When Zvezda tells him that he has to go to class and learn a new technique, of course he is skeptical. What more does he have to learn? He is Black Fricking Scorpion; he is skilled with guns and spy gadgets. So what does he need to learn?

Turns out as soon as he enters the classroom, the door slams shut behind him and locks. He instantly goes for his guns and gadgets thinking Zvezda is possibly testing him. But the lights cut out and the room is bathed in darkness. He feels a bag being thrown over his head and then before he can pull the trigger to his gun, it is knocked from his hand.

His arms are grabbed and then he feels himself being shoved down into a wooden chair. His wrists are latched to either side and then the bag is finally removed. He blinks, finding himself under a dim interrogation light.

"What do you want? What is this? What are you teaching me Zvezda?!" he blurts out, pulling at the ropes, feeling them cut into his skin.

"Settle down Scorpion," a voice comes. It definitely isn't Zvezda's. It is deeper...a man's. But whose is it? "Zvezda told me to teach you 'how to escape being tied down to a chair', you seem to always wind up in the predicament and sooner or later, you'll have to learn how to be a badass and escape from it!"

He squints, trying to find the source of the voice. It sounds so familiar...and yet...he just can't place whose it is. "Who are you? Can I trust you?"

Laughter follows, sick and twisted, and his heart begins to race in his chest. Has Zvezda really recruited a villain? But the guy has a point. He does need to man up and get himself out of his own predicaments! He can't rely on the others or his dog to always be there. He is Black Fricking Scorpion; he can do this!

Finally the laughing stops and the man answers, "You can trust me to an extent." He steps forward into the light and squats down to look him in the eye. Now he knows who he is. "I'm Sidney Crosby."

Sidney smirks. Scorpion knows him as the "Hex Penguin", he is a fabulous trainer but his methods are a little on the psychotic side. Instinctively he begins to jerk his hands against the ropes again. The ropes scratch his skin and it hurts but he can't show weakness. He'd learned that...I mean that was what they taught you in Superhero 101. He looks up and chances a glance at Sidney, who is grinning.

"I can tell you that struggling won't help you escape. For the next two hours you're my prisoner and I'll subject you to various perils. I'll teach you how to escape and fend for yourself. Capiche?"

"Just, how do I get out of these ropes, man?!" he screams.

"Fine, the key is to not struggle."

"That's it?! But how?"

"Don't struggle."

He looks at him like he is an alien; honestly this guy isn't helping or making sense. He is growing extremely irritated with him. He kicks against the ground and jerks sharply, but the ropes don't budge.

"I said do NOT struggle!"

"How the hell am I supposed to get free then?" Scorpion snaps.

Sidney gets to his feet. Gold colored energy clouds around his hands like magical cosmic dust. He raises his hand up and smirks darkly. "If you can't figure out how to get free in the next minute, I'll begin to use my chaos magic reality warping powers on you and learn just how to make you suffer. Until you finally figure out how...to get...free."

Scorpion screams, tossing his head back. He musters every ounce of strength he has in him and tears at the ropes, but they still won't budge. Then he feels a sharp stinging in his head. Sidney's hand is against his forehead and it is glowing the gold color.

Suddenly Scorpion's vision blurs over and he is brought back to when he is a little boy, skating on the ice for the first time. He is outside playing around when suddenly the scene shifts to his house. His deepest and oldest fear comes to haunt him. What is Sidney...or Hex Penguin doing to him? A shadow is cast over him as he finds himself in the living room of his childhood house back in Brampton, Ontario. His stick is knocked to the ice surface and he is lifted up and into a burlap bag...

He screams again as he remembers what had followed, intense workouts, gun training, sterilization to make him stronger (steroids) and a bunch of mad scientist experiments. All of it makes him panic-stricken...but how is he supposed to escape the horrible memory? He has to get out of the chair!

"Don't struggle," he hears repeated over and over in his head as the vision blurs to darkness. "Don't struggle..." It is his internal mantra.

Then it hits him!

He snaps from the vision and launches upward on his feet. He whips around and smashes the chair underneath him on the ground. Then he springs up and raises his fists.

Sidney claps. "Good, good. You are learning."

Scorpion smiles. "That's one way to get out of a chair!"

"Now...let's try a harder situation..."

Before he can object or fend him off, Scorpion feels another sharp feeling. This time it is more like a pinch...on his arm. But his vision blurs and he falls to the ground, unconscious. What has he done to him? What is he going to do to him?


Scorpion awakes some time later. He's not sure how long he's been out, but he finds himself still in the room, under dim lights. This time his muscles ache...and no wonder, his arms are raised up and bound together above his head. He moans and finds that his feet can barely touch the floor.

"Sidney Crosby!!" he roars. "This isn't funny!"

"I know it isn't," his sly villain-disguised voice sounds from the shadows. He reappears and stands in front of the dangling spy for the Hockey Avengers.

"Okay, I got the chair one, but this is impossible." He tries to pull on the chain, but his muscles scream at him and the effort hurts.

"Nothing is impossible, Seggy darling. I want you to think of all your options... remember struggling is pointless, useless and redundant."

Scorpion takes in his advice and sighs. He closes his eyes and thinks about how he can possibly escape this. An idea flashes in his head and he tests it out. He grabs the chain as best as he can and then leaps up, while pulling. That does nothing except send more waves of pain through him. Scorpion bites back the agony though, refusing to break in front of Sidney.

"Remember your spy training, Seguin."

Scorpion wants to kick him so badly! Wait...kick?! He can kick...he can maybe grab him with legs...it is a classic spy move anyway to wrap your legs around someone's throat. If he can get on Sidney, it will provide him time and leverage to yank the chain rapidly and get something. Yes!

So he tries it. He kicks out and brings his legs around Sidney's neck. He knows he isn't really a villain and this is actually very beneficial to his knowledge, so he latches on not as tight as he would with a real villain. Then as soon as he is piggy-backing his neck and head, he instantly yanks the chain and it loosens and comes undone from the pipe it has been attached to.

Sidney throws him off and he lands on the ground but he lashes the chain out at him and lassoes his legs, pulling them from under him.

"Thanks for the advice Sid! I hate you so much right now!"

Sidney rolls his eyes and unwraps the chain from his legs. Then he scrambles up and pulls Scorpion forward toward him by the chain leash. "Don't ever do that again! Don't get cocky with me...but good work. Zvezda will be pleased with your new-found escape abilities."

"No longer will I have to rely on others to come for me!" Scorpion states, flashing him a sharp glare.

Sidney undoes the chain from his wrists with a firm yank and then tosses the metal to the side. "One more peril. Let's really test you now."

"Bring it!" Scorpion snarls, cockily. He's not normally a sassy person but if given a challenge or if someone threatens him, by all means he will get that sass out. He can be cocky...if he's provoked.

Sidney's hands glow gold once more and he raises them to the sides of Scorpion's head. And before I knows it, Scorpion is plunging back into the childhood vision reverie once more.

This time, he is much older. he is at a bar with Brad Marchand partying, when he spots a man with a hood and cloak on. The mysterious man is standing at the far back of the livid bar almost like a shadow or statue. Suddenly the hood is removed and Scorpion gasps in fright.

The figure moves at him, gliding through the air, a set smirk etched into his face. That smirk is so familiar, on or off the ice. It is Zenon Konopka. He is snickering. Scorpion backs away, tripping over his feet as the one man he fears most of all in the NHL attacks him.

He slips from the nightmare vision once more and this time he finds that he's been moved to another peril by Sidney. He is tied to a chair...again. But this time he has chains wrapped around him tightly. His legs are tied to the chairs legs and something is wrapped around his head too. He can't speak, and when he tries, all that came out are pitiful muffled sounds.

He looks for Sidney and finds him on top of a teacher's desk. He pulls out a match and lights it with a quick swipe across the surface. Guess he isn't gonna waste time with his eerie magic hands...? He jumps off the desk and walks over to a string, which he can just barely make out. He lights it and the fuse begins.

He is bewildered. What is going on?

"Alright Tyler Seguin, you have five minutes tops – if you're lucky – to get out of the chains, out of the chair and completely free. If not, the floor you stand on will go up in flames. You'll be trapped in a fire ring...oh and, here's the best part, I borrowed a little friend to give you some motivation."

Scorpion isn't so sure he wants to hear about this, but he follows Sidney with his eyes as the Penguin lights up another area of the room. Bound and gagged with duct tape in a cage is Jamie Benn. Scorpion muffles Jamie's hero name into whatever is covering his mouth.

Sidney looks at Scorpion with a wicked smirk and glare. "Star Vision, right? He's agreeing to help out and this was his idea, so you'd have motivation. I have faith that you'll do well."

Scorpion isn't thrilled that Jamie is in a cage. He is his best friend. He has to help him. And he – or Sidney – has purposefully removed his star glasses. He is mortal and therefore extremely vulnerable.

Scorpion has to save him! He has to get free. He looks back to see that the fuse is slowly inching close to him. As he looks at it, he now notices that the string encircle the area around his chair and it is rigged. As soon as the flame hits the start, the string will ignite and then it will become a quick disaster.

Scorpion calms himself down and focuses. Okay, first things first, he has to get his legs free. He kicks out and snaps the ropes with ease. Then he stands up and whirls around and slams the chair against the ground, breaking it. He rapidly brings his arms around his legs because his wrists have been tied behind him and he removes the chains from his upper arms, grunting with the effort.

He takes a quick breather, wrenching the – okay, it is a bandana – from his mouth and lets it drape around his neck. As he gulps in the welcome air, the flame reaches the point and the string begins to ignite. He gasps and dives out of the ring, to safety. His wrists are still bound together but he has survived the first part of the peril.

Now to get Jamie free... he darts to the cage and swings the door open. He precisely works to unwind the tape from Jamie's mouth and his wrists and then the captain of the Stars rewards him by untying his hands. Scorpion grabs his hand in his own and they exit the cage.

Sidney steps out of the shadows to the side, smiling...it isn't a creepy villain smirk anymore. It is genuine and sweet. "Nice work, Seguin. You're ready to get out of anything. However, I'd be careful with your Zenon-problem, could come back to bite you."

Scorpion pats him on the shoulder. "Thank you, Hex Penguin, without your lessons I wouldn't have been able to do that. But next time, please don't scare me with Star Vision like that."

"He had to, Scorpion, it was for the best that you receive it as a surprise. And hey, you looked pretty badass man!" Jamie remarks, slapping Scorpion on the back.

Scorpion walks out of the dark room with Jamie at his side. Sidney douses the flames and turns the lights back on. He works to clean up the room. Luckily it is a training room, so it is wired for experiments and the sort. No damage has been done to it. Jamie and Scorpion head back down the hallway of the Hockey Avengers' Headquarters. Scorpion rubs his sore wrists, but it is a good soreness because now he is ready for anything!

At least he thinks...

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