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Where Are The Russians???? Why Russia Of Course!

Back in America, in Dallas, Texas,

Tyler Seguin (Guzzler, not the actual one) and Jamie Benn pull up to the curbside of a luxurious apartment complex. They share a look and then shrug and get out. As they do, the doors to the building burst open and Evelyn O'Reilly dashes out, full of horror and anxiety. It isn't good. Something is wrong. They head toward her.

"Evs, what's wrong?" Fake Tyler asks her.

"It's Val! I felt this odd sensation. It's the type I only get when he's in distress...or in trouble. I rushed to his place, here, and I found nothing. His bow and arrow is gone too! So I tried to contact him via his watch, but he wasn't picking up!" She rakes a shaking hand through her messy red hair.

"Val's missing?" Fake Tyler questions, looking at Jamie.

"That's not good," Jamie says, shaking his head. "Where is he?"

"I don't know, we need to call an emergency meeting! If Val's been kidnapped, we need to find him fast!" Evelyn remarks.

Fake Tyler and Jamie nod. "Right."

Evelyn swipes her hand over her wrist and becomes Zvezda. Then she pulls Fake Tyler and Jamie to her and twinkles away into thin air. They reappear outside of the headquarters building in Downtown Boston.

"Wait, you got your ability to teleport back via the stellar twinkle?" Jamie questions. "How the...?"

"Yeah, I can actually teleport now and also have the ability of the super speedy flight. It takes the load off poor John. The best part about this is that now, if I want to teleport, I don't have to be in heroine form all the time though. Meaning, I could be Evelyn and not Zvezda. Cool right?"

"Totally, girlfriend!" Fake Tyler responds, earning a look from Jamie. He raises his arm up to high-five her and pauses. "I mean, totally. That's cool."

"Tyler, you're a piece of work, you know that?" Jamie chuckles.

"Gotta get my mind off Nikita's euthanization coming up, now, right?" Fake Tyler remarks. "I can't believe he just turned on me like that. I thought we were best buds and then he has to go and attack me like that!"

"I know, I can get you another dog..." Jamie puts a hand on his friend's shoulder.

"No, no, I'm gonna take my break from canines...I guess." Fake Tyler shrugs.

They enter the headquarters and walk into the lobby. Evelyn eyes Fake Tyler, giving him a strange look as she lifts her arm up and speaks to the watch on her wrist, "Hockey Avengers, assemble!"

Within five minutes, Evelyn, Fake Tyler and Jamie are joined by Captain Blackhawk, Portal, Iceshot, Psychica, Brooke Johnson and The Russian Bear, who looks around noticing he's the only Russian in the room. He shakes his head.

"Better be good reason why I am only Russian here!" Geno grumbles.

"Yes, good point. Where are our Russians?" Jonathan Toews asks as he deactivates his hero look.

"Oh thank God, Arrogant A-Hole is missing!" Iceshot sneers, rolling his eyes and folding his arms across his chest.

"Vladdy is your friend, Gabriel. I don't know how many times it will take until that is drilled into your head!" John snaps at him. "He is very important to this group and we need to find him and possibly save him."

Gabriel snorts. "Vladdy doesn't need saving. He needs to be less arrogant."

"As do you, Landy. Now shut up. Cause as you can see, this is bad! Nesty, Kuch, Vladdy, Val, Zady, they are all gone!"

Psychica shakes her head, somberly. "And someone has Vladimir!"

"And Artemi Panarin!" Jonathan tacks on with a nod.

"Artemi Panarin?" Jamie inquires. "So two mortal Russians are missing?"

"Jonathan Drouin is also missing and I heard so is Tomas Hertl," Ondrej Palat announces as he enters the lobby with TJ at his side. "The Lightning are missing half of their team right now basically!"

"I wouldn't put it past a Montreal Canadien to be behind this!" TJ growls.

"If a Hab has kidnapped our brother Kuch and our baby brother Vladdy, you better believe I'm gonna punch the living daylights out of them!" Ondrej remarks. "No one messes with our brothers!"

TJ gives a sharp nod in agreement.

John Tavares turns to look at Evelyn and adds on, "And Kuzya too."

"So three mortal Russians?" Evelyn questions. "That's not good. At all. That means someone has them and managed to render all the other superpowered Russians helpless and unable to fight back. John's right, Vladdy's not normally one to be easy to take down and capture... because he is missing, I fear the worst."

"Okay, let's see here, who's gone first of all," Jonathan says, stroking his chin in thought.

John looks around the room and reports, "Apart from Sidney Crosby, or Hex Penguin, who is on the trail of Nathan MacKinnon...there's Nesty or Russiosteel, Kuch or Aqua Kuch, Vladdy or Chaos from Tampa, Val or Arrow Hawk and Zady or Arrow Av, the two Russian archers - a Dallas Star and Colorado Avalanche player -, the mortal Vladimir Tarasenko, two more mortals: Artemi Panarin from Chicago and Evgeny Kuznetsov of Washington."

"Nathan's missing too, to be honest," Gabriel reports. "He wasn't at practice and I haven't seen him around for our, um, daily bro lunches...don't ask, okay!" He rolls his eyes and looks upward at the ceiling, sighing with exaggeration.

"What's a 'bro lunch'?" Jamie asks, looking at Fake Tyler.

"I told you not to ask! But use your brain, I know you and Tyler have bro lunches all the time too! Think about it Jamie."

Evelyn waves her hands in front of her. "Anyway, we got a serious problem on our hands. NHL players are missing and a few of them have superpowers. We need to track them down. Geno, call Sidney. I need to know where he is. I don't care that he's on a mission. Call him now."

Geno nods. "Got it!" He walks to the elevator and enters it, vanishing from sight.

"Kelly, use that telepathy of yours and try to pinpoint a location for Vladimir. You've got to be able to see him and I'm gonna try to use the stars to find Valeri. CB, use your Hawk Hearing to locate any disturbances. Jamie and Tyler, search The Pest. Gabriel, take a timeout and John, standby for orders."

Gabriel folds his arms. "I didn't do anything."

"You're beginning to sound and act a lot like Chaos, Landy. Do as she says and just cool down." John pats him on the shoulder as he sits down on the couch, grumbling to himself. "Settle down and get your head back."

"What about us?" TJ asks, gesturing to himself and Ondrej.

Evelyn glances to Jonathan at her side. "What can the Lightning duo do?"

Jonathan thinks for a second and then responds with, "You can keep an eye on Gabriel here?"

"I don't a babysitter! I'm not Vladdy! I'm the frickin' captain of the Colorado Avalanche for Pete's sake! I'll behave I promise, just don't humiliate me with bodyguards or babysitters!" Gabriel whines.

"Okay, okay, I guess they can go with Brooke to search all the arenas and places where the players were last seen and look for clues?" Jonathan states as he half questions himself, unsure if his idea is good.

Evelyn nods, okaying the idea and the trio gather together.

"Let's do this Hockey Avengers!" Jonathan exclaims as he powers back up to Captain Blackhawk.

He zooms out of the lobby and into the air outside, while the others take their positions: Psychica taps into her telepathy, getting into a yoga pose on a chair and focuses her mind. Fake Tyler and Jamie race to the elevator and vanish. John stands by Evelyn as she looks up at the ceiling, deep in thought, communicating with the stars up above. TJ scoops Brooke up in his hands and jumps onto a lightning surfboard made by Ondrej and they zoom out of the lobby. 

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