4 October 2019

Yes, I'm on a roll here! I typed out this chapter, and I had to post it because I'm excited for you guys to read it and let me know what you thought of it! And oh yeah.. sorry in advance! ;)

"You make me want to be a better man." - As Good As It Gets

Alayna's POV

Two weeks have passed, and I've been lost in my own world. It's been extremely busy at the hospital, and for the first time, I'm glad that it has. To be exact, two weeks and two days have passed since the day that Adnan was born.

I've been keeping myself busy both at work and at home, and I haven't really been talking to anyone much. I've just been keeping to myself, professional at work, and busy at home. I'll tell you why.

When I came home from the hospital the day Adnan was born, I thought a lot, about everything. I thought and thought, that day, and the next two days. I couldn't get Zayan out of my mind. The way he gave Adhaan to Adnan after he was born kept replaying in my mind, and each time I recalled it, my heart would start racing. My palms would get sweaty. And my stomach would start feeling fuzzy.

I recalled the moment when he did my first aid, after I clumsily spilt coffee all over myself at his home. The way he concentrated on the burn on my arm, the way he did my dressing. The way his thick, dark brown, full eyelashes looked in the dim lighting. The way he gazed at me with worry-filled eyes.

I couldn't stop remembering the moment when I literally fainted in his arms. When he caught me, and carried me upstairs to my bedroom in front of both our families. I haven't been able to stop remembering the way I felt in his arms, like I didn't want him to let go. I felt safe in his arms, protected. I felt like no harm could ever come to me, as long as he was with me.

I kept recalling our conversation on Aliya's sangeet night. When he told me that he'd known about the arranged marriage, when he told me that he'd known for quite some time now. And after that, our slow dance. I can't describe the way I felt in his arms, dancing so close to him. I could feel his heart beating with mine. I couldn't tell our heartbeats apart, he was that close. I didn't want the dance to end. I didn't want the night to end.

Two days after Adnan was born, on Friday night, I prayed Istikhara. I went to bed, not at all expecting to receive a sign on the first night itself.

In my dream, I saw a lot of white light. It was coming from somewhere in the distance, so I walked closer. Then, I saw him. What I remember the most clearly from my dream, was his face. Zayan's face. He was facing away from me, but he turned around to look at me. He had a large, beautiful smile on his face, and he held his hand out for me. In front of him was a prayer mat. I started to walk towards him, unable to look away from his face. He looked so handsome, even more than usual. He looked radiant. Extremely happy. His face was shining with happiness, and the smile wouldn't leave his lips. However, I woke up soon after. I wanted to go back to sleep, I wanted to see him again like that. I couldn't take his smile out of my mind, the way he was nodding to me and holding his hand for me to join him.

That had to be a sign. When I woke up, my heart was racing frantically in my chest. I was sweaty, in utter shock. I couldn't be more sure about what the dream meant, it was a very positive sign.

But I didn't tell anyone. I needed to process it for myself. It's been two weeks, and I haven't told a single person yet. But now, I will. This evening, when I return home, I'll tell my parents about what I saw in the dream. I'll tell them that I prayed Istikhara, and this is what I saw in my dream.

Ever since the dream two weeks ago, I've felt more inclined towards Zayan. Although I've been avoiding him at the hospital, I'm now sure about this. Sure, I don't love him, but in Islam, love happens after marriage.

I don't love him, but I do like him. Very strongly. I've never felt this way about anyone before, all this is very new to me. Whenever I've seen him several times in the corridors at the hospital, my heart has started to race and I start to walk the opposite way. I'm sure he thinks that I've gone crazy. He for sure knows that I'm avoiding him. He's been giving me confused looks, but I've been trying my best not to look at him. To calm my racing, crazy, traitorous heart.

I will tell my family tonight. I'll tell them about the Istikhara and the dream, and that I'm ready. I'm ready to go through with the marriage. I'm ready to marry Zayan. Because not only our families, Allah also wants this to happen. I've thought enough about this, and I've made my decision. I'm not at all unhappy about it.

********

'I'll see you tomorrow, Alayna, okay? I'm coming over to stay tomorrow night! Don't miss me too much,' Hanna says, winking at me. She gives me a hug, ruffling my hair like I'm a child.

I chuckle. "I'll be waiting for you, Han. And you know I'll miss you loads, I always do. Bye!"

'Laters, baby!' She says, winking at me and waving, before walking through the automatic, huge double doors of the hospital.

I smile, shaking my head. For some reason, I feel excited. I feel excited for telling my family tonight. I wonder how they'll react when they hear about my Istikhara. Mum and Dad will be the happiest. And they mean the world to me, so seeing them happy, will make me even happier.

I shrug on my large, beige pea coat and pick up my black Gucci purse. It's getting quite chilly outside now. Especially at this time. It's getting dark outside too, as it's almost winter.

I walk out the double doors of the main entrance of the hospital, and go to the car park. I reach my car and unlock it, sitting inside. I smile, impatient to reach home and tell Mum and Dad everything. I can't wait to see the smiles on their faces.

I start my car, rubbing my freezing cold hands together for warmth. I'll need to wear gloves on Monday, if it's as cold as it is today. On a normal day, I'd have bought myself a hot coffee from the Starbucks opposite the hospital, but today, I just want to reach home as quickly as possible.

I groan with disbelief as my car jolts to a stop as soon as I start it. What on earth? I filled up the petrol this morning, and nothing's wrong with my car. However, I see the issue as soon as I exit my car.

The right front tyre of my car has somehow been punctured. I'm very surprised, though, as I drove myself to work this morning and it was absolutely fine then. And the car was parked here all day, so I don't know how it happened.

I sigh, running my fingers through my open hair. What am I supposed to do now? Hanna just left, and Usman Bhai came to pick her up. Dad and Yusuf Bhai must still be at the office, which is at least half an hour away from here. And Mum, she's probably still at the boutique.

Looks like I'll have to call Dad's driver for a spare car. This is going to take a while.

I'm going to have to leave my car here overnight, go home in a spare car of Dad's, and then get mine fixed. That's not a big problem.

I call Dad's driver, who tells me that he'll reach in twenty minutes, but he will give me the car on a side road at the back of the hospital. I agree, telling him to reach as soon as he can.

I walk to the back of the hospital, and then go to the road I've been told to go to. I walk down the long, narrow road, feeling suddenly afraid. It's dark, and cold. And I can't see a person in sight.

There's a small park at the end of the road, so I walk into the park and sit on a bench. I can't believe what I'm having to go through, because my car's tyre somehow got punctured. Surely it couldn't have gotten punctured by itself. I wonder how it happened.

I'm sitting on the bench, typing a text to Dad to tell him about my car, when I hear a voice in the distance. Not so much in the distance, but quite close to me. It sends shivers down my spine.

'Hey, doctor! It's been a very long time! I've been looking for you ever since that day, but I haven't been able to find you, because somehow, I've not been allowed back into your hospital!' It's the guy from two months ago. The one who touched me inappropriately at the hospital. The one who tried to sexually harass me. It was Zain who saved me that day, if it wasn't for him I don't know what would have happened.

He's here. How is he here? Did he follow me here?

I stand up, my legs shaking all of a sudden. I quickly throw my phone into my purse and hold my purse close to my body. I quickly start to walk away, but his voice stops me.

'You're too sexy to be a doctor, you know that?' His voice is low and husky, it frightens me so much.

"W-what do you want? Go away. I'm going home," I mutter, my teeth clattering from the cold wind.

He rushes to me and grabs my arm roughly, digging his fingers into it. I start trembling, and this time, it's not because of the cold.

"Let go of me!" I shout, glaring at him as hard as I can.

He laughs in my face, standing closer to me. He twists my arm, and I scream in pain. What does he want?!

"What do you want?!" I shout, tears filling my eyes.

He smirks, his eyes filled with lust which makes me shiver. 'You, of course! I want you. Now.'

"Leave me alone. Let go of me, before I scream again!" I say, angrily. I'm trying to stand up for myself and seem strong, but right now I'm anything but strong.

He pulls me closer, my body colliding with his. He yanks my hair, pulling my face up to his and tries to kiss me. I shake my head, tears rolling down my face. I try to pull away from his grasp, to escape, but I can't. He's too big, he's too strong.

'Scream all you want, doctor. Your screams won't reach anywhere. This park is always empty, and no one lives close to here,' he whispers into my ear, his lips touching my earlobe.

I shake with disgust, trying to step on his foot. He's too quick for me, though.

I push on his chest, trying to escape from his dirty grasp. This angers him, and he pushes me onto the ground, hard. My head hits something hard, a rock, and it makes me dizzy for a few seconds. I almost lose consciousness, but only almost.

The next thing I know is that he's on top of me, his entire body pressed against mine. He yanks open my coat, and the buttons go flying in all directions. I scream loudly, closing my eyes and letting more tears escape.

I can't believe this is happening! He's about to..

His lips touch the exposed skin of my neck, and I cry harder. I have no courage or energy to talk to him, to tell him to stop, because I know he won't listen. He's a disgusting man. He's a disgrace to humanity.

I kick his legs from underneath him, but he won't budge. He pulls my hair again, and it hurts. It hurts so badly. I scream loudly again, and he slaps me across the face.

'Shut up, you bitch. Shut up and enjoy this. If you don't be quiet, you'll regret it. I'll kill you,' he sneers angrily. His eyes are still filled with lust. He's enjoying this too much.

He grabs my hand and puts it on his coat pocket. My fingers touch cold metal. He has a gun. My heart stops beating in my chest. Is he going to kill me? I've never felt so terrified in my entire life. Why is he doing this? What did I ever do to him?!

He laughs loudly, leaning down and kissing me whilst pulling my hair at the same time. I try to push him away, but he slaps me again. I taste blood in my mouth as I accidentally bite my tongue. My mouth feels numb.

'Get off her, you bastard!' Zayan's loud, authoritative voice bellows, making the man jump slightly.

Oh, thank god. He's here. Zayan's here! My saviour!

My heart starts racing all of a sudden, and I cry harder. I open my eyes and look into the distance. Zayan's standing there, absolutely furious. I haven't ever seen him this angry. He storms towards us and grabs the man off me, pushing him away.

He quickly helps me up, and I grab his arm, shaking uncontrollably.

'Alayna, I'm here. I'm here now, and you're fine. Look at me,' he says gently, cradling my face in his hands.

"Zayan," I whisper, staring into his furious, blue-brown depths.

He nods. 'I'm here with you, Alayna. You're okay.'

"Now, who the hell are you?!" The disgusting man shouts, standing up. His face is full of fury, and he storms towards us.

I hold onto Zayan's arm harder, scared for my life. I want to tell him that he has a gun, but my voice isn't coming out. I'm shaking badly, I've never felt more terrified.

'That's none of your concern. Why did you touch Alayna?' Zayan's voice booms loudly, echoing.

The man laughs, shaking his head. "I didn't do anything yet. Although, if you want to see me doing something, then feel free to do so."

This makes Zayan even angrier. He rushes towards him and grabs his collar, punching him in the face. I hear a crack.

"Zayan, don't!" I finally shout, more afraid than ever.

Zayan turns to me and shakes his head. 'Alayna, he's going to pay for everything. He touched you, didn't he? He kissed you?' He punches him again in the jaw, hard.

I close my eyes, tears running down my face.

"Yes, I kissed her. We both loved it," the man says, laughing loudly. He's a psycho!

Zayan pushes him against the metal bench, continuing to kick and punch him. The man's face is a bleeding mess. Blood is coming out of his mouth and his nose, his whole face is wounded.

"Zayan, please. Stop!" I shout, holding the back of my head as I start to feel dizzy again. I look at my fingers, and they're covered with blood. The rock hurt me more than I thought it had. My head hurts like hell, but I don't care. Zayan needs to get away from him. He's going to end up killing him!

'If you ever touch her again, I'll kill you. Do you hear that?' Zayan shouts angrily, his eyes filled with fury.

The man just laughs, shaking his head. He doesn't reply.

After punching him one more time, Zayan rushes towards me.

But not quickly enough.

That man is now pointing his gun at me, laughing evilly. He pulls the trigger. 'Have it your way, doctor.'

Then he pulls the trigger.

I close my eyes, waiting for the pain. Waiting. But it doesn't come.

Faster than lightning, Zayan runs in front of me, and he takes the bullet. I stand in shock, not processing what's just happened.

The man looks alarmed for a second, before running off.

No, no, no. Zayan. He's okay. He's okay. He has to be okay.

When Zayan clutches his chest and stares at me, I scream. When I see his blood-soaked shirt, I run towards him, shaking my head. 'No. No! Zayan, no!'

He falls to the ground, and I fall right next to him, holding him in my arms. 'Zayan, n-no. Y-you're okay. No!'

His eyes are filled with pain, they're bloodshot red. He touches my face gently, and I lean into his touch, crying harder than ever.

"Alayna," he whispers, staring at me with the faintest smile on his lips. Why is he smiling, in a situation like this?!

'I'm here, Zayan. I'm here. Keep your eyes open! Don't close your eyes, do you hear me?! Stay with me!' I apply pressure on his chest, and my entire hand is covered with his blood in just one second.

I'm shaking, clutching onto him for dear life. "Y-you're beautiful," he whispers.

More tears flow out of my eyes, and they land on his face. I wipe them away, not wanting anything to touch his perfect face.

He closes his eyes, and I scream loudly. I grab my purse with trembling fingers from beside me, and take out my phone.

I don't know what I'm doing, all I know is that Zayan's hurt. He's hurt badly, and there's no time to lose.

I call the first person on my call log, crying and screaming for them to answer.

'Alayna? Hey! Are you crying?! Alayna, what's wrong? Say something!' Armaan shouts, extremely worried.

"Armaan. Zayan," I cry, staring down at Zayan in my lap. He's struggling to keep his eyes open.

I touch his cheek, and he closes his eyes.

"No! Don't close your eyes! I will never talk to you again, I'm telling you! Stay with me!" I scream.

Armaan asks me what's wrong, shouting with concern. I forget that I've called him. All I know is Zayan. I don't know anything else right now. Nothing else matters.

I don't know how, but the next thing I hear is ambulance sirens in the distance. I hold Zayan close, not letting go. 'Zayan! Wake up!' I scream. He's unconscious. Or.. I hope he's just unconscious.

Trembling with fear, I rest my face on his blood-soaked chest to hear his heartbeat. I hear a faint heartbeat. He's okay. He's fine.

No. He's not fine. But he has to be.

He has to be fine.

I was going to tell my family today! I was going to tell them that I received a positive sign after praying Istikhara. I was going to tell them that I'm ready to marry him.

He can't leave me. Not now, not ever. He has to stay with me. I won't let him leave me for a single second. He's too important.

Doctors and paramedics rush towards us, asking me several questions. I don't hear anything, though. They tell me to stand up and move away from Zayan, but I shake my head furiously.

'I'm not leaving him!' I shout. I'm not leaving him. There's no way that I'm leaving him. I know all these doctors and paramedics, and they don't try to argue with me.

"Okay, Dr. Alayna. That's absolutely fine, but we need to put Dr. Zayan onto a stretcher. We need to take him to the hospital, fast," the paramedic, John, tells me, extremely worried. He's friends with Zayan, and he's very fond of him. Everyone is.

I nod, reluctantly standing up. I'm still holding his hand as they quickly put him onto a stretcher and wheel him into the ambulance. I don't let go of his hand, even after we reach the hospital.

When we reach the hospital, Zayan is wheeled in, to the private ICU. His condition is critical, that much I can tell. He's been shot in the chest. All because of me.

"Dr. Alayna, please wait in the waiting room. You can see him in a short while. We need to check him, and he needs to be operated on as soon as possible. Every second matters," the surgeon, Dr. Fernandez, tells me.

'No, I'm not leaving him,' I cry, feeling absolutely hopeless. It's because of me that he's in this state. Zayan got shot saving me from that disgusting man. Why didn't he just let me get shot?! If only I had gotten shot, and not him. If only he didn't come to save me. He'd be perfectly fine right now, if he didn't come to save me.

"Please try to understand, Dr. Alayna. You have to wait outside. You're not in a good state yourself, the doctor needs to examine you too," he says, his voice calm and caring.

I take a seat in the waiting room, my legs about to give way. I can feel a dull ache at the back of my head, but it's nothing. Zayan just got shot. And I have no idea how he is right now. He got shot. All because of me.

********

Just five minutes later, Aunty, Uncle, Hanna, Usman Bhai, Yusuf Bhai and my parents reach. They're all extremely upset, and in shock. They all ask me what happened, but I'm unable to say anything.

'I'm sorry,' is all I say. I go to Aunty and Uncle, holding their hands and crying. 'It's my fault.'

Hanna hugs me, shaking her head. "It's not your fault, Alayna! None of this is your fault." She's crying, too.

'It's not your fault, darling. Please, stay strong. And you need to get your head checked out, you're bleeding too much,' Aunty says to me, her eyes bloodshot red. Why isn't she mad at me? Why isn't anyone mad at me? Aunty and Uncle's son is in a very bad state, because of me.

I shake my head, furious at myself. 'He saved me. He got shot trying to save me!' I cry.

Everyone hugs me, telling me it's not at all my fault, and that Zayan did it because he cares for me.

I don't listen. "They won't let me inside! They won't let me see him!" I shout to my parents. I've broken down completely. I just want to see him. I just want to see that he's fine, and that he's awake. But I know he isn't.

'Alayna, please don't cry. Your head is badly injured, you need stitches for sure. And a scan, too. I can see that you hit it hard. Zayan Bhai will be okay,' Hanna says, trying to console me. But she's crying herself, too.

He has to be okay. He has to be. My heart hurts so badly, I feel like tearing it out of my chest. I feel like hurting myself, because I'm the reason Zayan is in this state.

I want to see him, I want to apologise to him. I just want him to be fine.

I hold Aunty's hand. "He'll be fine, won't he? Zayan will be fine?" I ask her, crying.

She's crying too, but she wipes away my tears and nods. 'He'll be absolutely fine. He's very strong.'

"Yes, he'll be absolutely fine," I say, wiping away my tears. "He has to be fine." I try to console myself, but it doesn't work. My entire body hurts, my heart hurts. My heart is in a million pieces right now, and it won't heal until I know Zayan's fine. Until I see him.

I walk over to the ICU, standing outside the door. I look through the small window, where four doctors are working on him.

One moment, I'm standing outside the ICU and staring helplessly at Zayan, and the next moment, I only see black. Dizziness overcomes me and I fall to the ground, fainting.

********

"She's regaining consciousness. Thank god. Alayna hit her head so hard, that we were afraid she might slip into a coma. It was a very bad concussion," I hear an unfamiliar voice say.

I open my eyes, squinting as the bright light hits my eyes. Then I touch my head, which is hurting like hell. It's bandaged, but I'm still feeling extremely dizzy. What's going on?

Suddenly, I realise that I'm at the hospital, and I recall the events of earlier. I hit my head on a rock, that's how I had a concussion.

Zayan.

Oh, my god! Zayan.

'Zayan! Where is he? Where's Zayan?!' I shout at the nurse who's checking my files.

She gives me a small smile. "Dr. Alayna, please don't take any stress. You're okay now. You were out for the whole day, and we were very worried about you. We thought you might slip into a coma. It was the medications that kept you asleep."

The door of my private ward opens, and Aunty, Hanna, Mum and Dad rush inside. Yusuf Bhai follows them, and they all look relieved to see me awake.

I try to sit up, but I start to feel dizzy again. I hold my head, groaning in pain. Mum helps me sit up, and she gives me a small smile.

'How are you, Alayna? We were so afraid. How are you feeling?' Dad asks me, gently.

"How's Zayan? Where is he?! I'm fine. Where's Zayan? I want to see him. He's okay, right? He's fine? Please tell me he's okay," I say, starting to cry again.

They all rush to my side, comforting me.

'Zayan Bhai just got out of surgery, and he's doing.. as well as he can at this moment. He's doing well, Alayna. It'll take him time to recover, but we're so thankful he's alright,' Hanna says, giving me a teary smile.

"He-he's fine. Are you telling me the truth? He's fine?" I ask, my bottom lip quivering.

She nods, giving me a gentle hug. 'He's fine. He's still unconscious, but he's fine. He'll be okay.'

I shake my head, crying. "He'll.. be okay? That means he's not okay?"

'The surgery was successful, sweetheart. They removed the bullet, and he was lucky. It was so close to his heart. He'll be fine,' Aunty tells me.

"I'm so sorry, Aunty. I'm so sorry," I cry, holding her hand.

She caresses my face gently and kisses my forehead. 'Why are you apologising, Alayna dear? You don't need to apologise, it wasn't your fault! Zayan saved you, because he cares for you.'

"He shouldn't care for me! Everyone who cares for me just ends up getting hurt. I'm bad luck for everyone. I-I need to see him. Please can I see him? I need to see for myself that he's fine," I request, turning to the nurse.

'Sweetie, you hurt your head very hard. You're still feeling dizzy. It would be better if you took rest, and didn't walk yet,' the nurse replies.

I shake my head. "I'll only take two minutes, I promise. I just need to see him."

'Okay, but someone has to help you to Dr. Zayan's ward. You haven't fully recovered yet,' she gives in after seeing how upset I am.

********

Hanna helps me to Zayan's ward, which is on the same floor as mine. She makes me sit in a wheelchair, because she doesn't want me to walk. The nurse agrees that I need to sit in a wheelchair, because there's a chance I could pass out again if I felt dizzy while walking. And if that happened, then there's a large chance I could slip into a coma.

When I see him, the tears start flowing again like a never-ending waterfall. He's unconscious, and he has several drips and needles connected to him. He's wearing a loose hospital gown, just like I am, and he looks weak. His face still looks perfect, though. His eyelashes look so long and thick, I can't stop looking at them. His dark brown hair is tousled and messy, but it still manages to look perfect. Looking at him, it sends a strong current straight to my heart.

'Alayna, no more crying. Okay? I'll just go and get you some water,' Hanna says, smiling at me and leaving us alone.

As soon as she leaves the room, more tears flow out of my eyes. He's hurt, because of me. Zayan took a bullet for me. Literally. Why would he do that? Why would he get shot, to save me? Why didn't he just let me get shot? Why didn't he let me die?

"Y-you crazy guy. Why would you do that? Why would you take a bullet for me? You should have just let me die, that way you wouldn't have to marry me. That way, the arranged marriage couldn't happen. It would have to be cancelled. You have to get better now, do you hear me? You have to get better quickly. I'm so sorry, Zayan. I'm so, so sorry," I cry, touching his hand.

I caress his hand gently, but he doesn't wake up.

"Zayan, wake up. You need to wake up quickly, and get back to work. I can't work here without having you to help me. I'd be lost without you. And more importantly, you need to wake up for me. I need to ask you something very important, something only you can answer. I need to know about the arranged marriage. You're such an idiot! Why would you get shot, trying to save me?" I ask, unable to stop crying.

I stare at his beautiful face and cry some more, when I realise that he doesn't know I'm staring. If he was awake and caught me staring on a normal day, he would smirk at me. I miss that crazy smirk of his. How I wish to see that smirk directed at me right now!

"Yes, Zayan. I miss your smirk, for some weird reason! It's crazy, I know. I miss the way you raise your eyebrow and smirk at me when.. when I'm staring at you like a weirdo. I'm sorry for being weird all the time, but I can't help it. God, when will you wake up? I need to scream at you, for saving me. I need to lecture you and tell you off. You've known me for less than three months, but you take a bullet for me?! You're a really crazy guy. I need so many answers, Zayan. So wake up." I hold his hand, loving the warmth I feel from his touch.

I'd never get enough courage to hold his hand if he was awake. I'd never get the courage to say all these things to him. I even told him that I miss his smirk! I miss it so damn much.

"Are our parents still wishing for us to get married, Zayan?" I whisper, knowing I won't get an answer.

I smile at him, nodding. "I'm ready. I know, I can't believe it either. But yes. I'm ready to go through with the marriage. You need to get better quickly, okay?" I whisper, now smiling like a weirdo. And then right away, I feel guilty for smiling.

I've gone crazy.

********

I needed to post this chapter, and I hope you guys aren't too mad at me! Are you? ;)

Again, two chapters in 24 hours! I know you guys love me for it, and I love you all too!

So, how was the chapter? I'm sorry for what happens to Zayan! He's my favourite character, too!

What do you think will happen next? Alayna's said so many things to him while he's unconscious, but what will actually happen next? Will the story take another turn? Give me your ideas! ;)

Don't forget to vote and comment if you liked the chapter! Stay tuned for the next one, which will hopefully be up next week!

Question: Would you take a bullet for anyone? If so, who?

Bye, guys! x