*Nate*

I will always worry about Julia. Always. That's what happens when you truly love someone. More than just thinking about them all the time. Worrying about them. All. The. Time. Making sure they are happy and well cared for. All. The. Time. It's just the way it is. 

So yes, I'm going to worry about Julia tonight. Tonight is the night Julia will have her sleep study upstairs in the neurology department. For any normal person this wouldn't be a big deal. But Julia isn't your average person. She has come to the point she can't sleep alone anymore. When she does, she thinks of Donovan coming into her room or some other traumatic thing. Hell, even PAUL has had to share a bed with Julia to help her sleep. She's that of a child in so many ways. Which just makes whoever is with her want to take care of her even more. She has this innocence to her. 

Believe me, I know she's a grown adult. She showed me in the shower the other day. But right now, Julia is nervous. Fortunately, she has two doctors that are extremely dedicated to helping her. One I can tell she is beginning to trust.

"Hey, look at me." Trevor is trying to calm her down before she spirals out overthinking about shit. We haven't seen Donovan all day today so he must have a day off. "All they are going to do is monitor your sleep patterns. They put sticky tabs on you like they do for EKG's and hook up little wires to the tabs. That's it." 

"It's not that." Her cheeks flush up in embarrassment and she looks at James. He's holding her hand right now while sitting on the couch. He's actually doing a good job holding it too. "God, I know this sounds stupid. Childish." She pauses. "I can't sleep alone. I haven't been able to for a while now." Julia admits.

"Oh." Trevor sits up a little straighter in his chair. "You never told me that."

"Yeah well, we just met a few days ago..." She chuckles a little, but her knee still bounces nervously.

"Well, if it helps you, you're not going to be alone. There will be a nurse monitoring you at ALL times. She will come in and check on you often. Nothing can happen." Trevor knows where Julia is going with this and why exactly she has a hard time being alone. She opened up to him a little. "The technician will have video and audio to see and hear what's happening while you are sleeping."

My worry is- what if Julia has a nightmare? I highly doubt a nurse is going to go in there and comfort her the way I do- he way I hold her and calm her down until she comes out of it.

"What exactly are they even looking for?" I ask and Paul lowers his newspaper at the kitchen table, now wanting to know a little more too.

"Right now? A baseline. Something to work on. How much time you spend in light and deep sleep. How often you wake up.  Your heart rate, body movements, oxygen levels. What happens when your sleep is disrupted and if you have abnormal brain waves. Maybe we can see the triggers happening for you so we can learn how to stop them before they start."

"And if she has one of her PTSD Night Terrors?" James pipes up. "Will they monitor them or wake her up." 

Originally James was taught by his doctors that you do not wake a patient up during night terrors. They could very well harm you and themselves. But once we started getting to know Julia we learned for her, that's not the case. Julia is different. You have to wake her up. She's reliving awful things.

"Good question." Trevor doesn't have the answer for James. He's only been at the Avalon for a few days so doesn't know the procedures upstairs. " What do you usually do?"

"Wake her. You have to wake her." Paul says quickly from the kitchen. The way he says makes me think Rossi has been a little scarred for life having to deal with Julia.

"You know what? I will talk to the staff upstairs, ok? I will stay for a little while.... with the technician, not in your room." He clarifies. "Until you fall asleep. Then I will leave and let them do their job."

I can tell Julia relaxes a little hearing that. Now if it were Jeremy saying those same words, Julia would tense right up.

My phone alarm goes off reminding me I need to get back to the studio for a session with the band. I stand up and lean down to give Julia a kiss. Gallo can hold her hand all he wants. She kisses me. Ok, well she kisses him too, but that's a different story.

"Ok, Paul are you good with James for the night or do you want me to have Jonah spend the night?"

"Nah, we'll be fine." Paul answers and James gives him a slight nod of appreciation. 

"I will get you showered and everything before I go up." Julia squeezes James hand.

"I'm sure you will." I sigh and look out the window. "Ok, doll. Ren is here. I will be back first thing in the morning."

******

*Julia*

And just like that, Nate is gone. Trisha has him scheduled for a lot of different things lately, keeping him very busy. He doesn't really get the break he was hoping in between the 1st and 2nd leg of tour. 

"You'll be just fine, Julia." Trevor stands up and straightens his suit jacket.

 I don't know why he dresses up like Nate would for an event. It's the Avalon. Half the time everyone is in scrubs because you never know when food will get thrown or detox puke will land on you. Even Jeremy is more casual than this. Yes, he wears a tie and khaki pants, but with sneakers. This guy is dressed to impress. But who? The crazy people here? We don't care what he wears.

"Ok, I will come and walk up with you and get you registered at 8pm. Be ready." The doctor lets himself out.

"Paul, are you sure you will be ok over night? With James, I mean?"

Paul lowers the paper down and gives me a look like "You're serious..." Because he knows that is me trying to get out of going upstairs. One mention of not being able to care for James and everything will be cancelled. I will drop everything to make sure James is well cared for. I wish his sisters would see that in me. But they don't. They now see me as some crazy lady who manipulated their brother into staying at a crazy facility.

"Moretti, he'll be fine. You need to get this done. We are ALL tired." Paul scoffs, making a point how he has had to help me through some really tough nights.

"Ok." I sulk. "C'mon James. I'll help you with your shower."

****

"You're really nervous about tonight, huh?" James says once we are both in the shower together. We talk a lot when we are under the hot water. Then again, so do me and Nate. So maybe it's ME that's the mermaid. Something about the hot water relaxes me. I could just stand underneath the shower head forever. And talk. And I do. I spill it all. 

"I don't know why I'm so nervous! This is stupid." I throw my arms around my best friend's waist and rest my head on his chest.

"Because it's something new, that's all. You don't know what to expect and not like we can really control what happens in our sleep. I have a feeling you will rip all the monitors off in your sleep and bolt." He jokes, but he's not wrong. I probably will.

"You don't get it though, James. These dreams...." I stop myself there.

"No, you're right. I don't. Because you don't tell me. You used to tell me everything, Julia.  You hold back now. Why?"

I shrug while in his arms. "I don't want to stress you out. I'm a big stressor, remember?" I pause. "I'm toxic."

James lifts my chin up to look me in the eyes.

"Julia, Y-you are NOT toxic. Don't listen to my fucking sisters. They don't know what the hell they're talking about."

I nod but don't buy it. James can tell. 

"I mean it. They're just mad at me that I chose to be here instead of with them. I've 'inconvenienced' them but they will get over it."

 We finish showering and I ask one more time to see if I can get out of it tonight.

"You sure you will be ok tonight?" I ask after helping James get dressed before bed. Today was a good day for James with his coordination. Tonight he was able to pull up his sweatpants on his own and hold his toothbrush with a good grip.

"Yeah, I'm gonna give Paul the bed and he will wheel the cot in here for me to sleep in so I'm not in here alone. Just in case I have a seizure in my sleep or something." James goes over everything with me.  I may never mentally be able to fall asleep alone, but James will never medically be able to sleep alone. That rare seizure he had in his sleep was an eye opener for everyone. Paul has no issues sharing a room with the man and is happy to have a king-sized bed all to himself. It's no different than sharing a hotel room, really.

James sits on the edge of the bed in just his sweatpants while I stand in front of him, combing his damp hair away from his forehead. He lifts his hands to rest on my waist and pulls me in more, making me glance at him.

"Behave." I warn but he smirks. 

"I mean it." I say softly but run my fingers through his hair making his eyes close for a moment.

 James leans in and kisses my cheek. But James being James, lets his lips linger and kisses my skin again. Then he kisses the corner of my lips making me feel again. That's the thing with James. No matter how numb I am from all my trauma or detox, one simple touch of his lips to mine ignites this fire inside me for him. Call it what you want, judge all you want, but I love James. I always will. That's the problem. 

"What time is it?" His voice is low and he drops his hands to my ass, pulling me in between his legs more.

"Time for you to knock it off." I laugh and look over at the alarm clock. "Seven"

"We have an hour." James has no issue sliding his hand down my pajama pants and between my legs, making me gasp.

"James." I scold but it's weak and my eyes close and heartrate picks up instantly from what he's doing.

 Like I said, James's coordination today is good. Real good. One hand down my pants, the other traveling under my t-shirt to lift my bra up. I don't usually wear a bra at night but if I'm going to need to expose skin for those sticky tabs, I wearing as many layers as I can so will be sleeping with a bra on tonight. 

"Need I remind you I'm with Nate." I drop the brush and both of my hands rest on his broad bare shoulders.

"Don't care." He grabs my hand and places it over his sweatpants. 

Nope, he does NOT care that I am with Nate. Shit. Hypersexual tendencies activated. I push his chest so he falls back on to the bed with a slight laugh and pull down his boxers and underwear.  James's eyes darken with lust as he watches me take off the bottom half of my clothes.

"We really don't have time for this." I say even though I'm now straddling him. His hand hasn't left my core once this entire time and he is getting me close. 

"It'll just be a quicky." He groans when I line him up and slowly sit down fully. He stretches me and fills me completely making me ache. I begin to rock into him slowly before I come undone from his hand. "Yeah." James groans again when I pick up the pace.

I always give in to him. No self-control whatsoever when it comes to James Gallo. That's a huge problem. I don't know how I'm ever going to give him up. Especially how he feels inside me right now. He uses all those damn ab muscles to sit up and match my rhythm, now slamming up into me full force. We are quiet, knowing Paul is somewhere in the apartment, though I think he is in his shower right now. I lean into James to kiss the crook of his neck before I bite down gently, because we all know James. A little pain with the pleasure.

"Fuck." He tilts his head to the side to give me more access and I kiss and bite his neck again. It's not hard at all. Barely leaving a mark, but enough to drive him crazy. He has one hand on my ass and the other on the back of my head, holding my mouth in place against his neck.

"James...."

"I know. I'm almost there." He knows time is not on our side and I know James can take a while.

 He holds on to my body tight and flips us over to the position he knows will make things happen quicker. Laying me on my back with him kneeling and pulling my legs up, pressing his hands on the back of my thighs. James thrusts into me with a superhuman force and pace, watching me come undone underneath him. He leans down and kisses me so I'm moaning into his mouth instead of out loud for Paul to hear. He pushes in and out of me with ease while studying my face for a moment, taking it all in. Then he picks up the pace. His eyes are dark and pleading and I can tell by the way he is throbbing he is feeling that same ache I feel. God he looks so sexy right now, working hard to hit his own high.

James can last forever but we don't have that kind of time right now. Hell, we shouldn't even be fooling around at all. But then he rounds his back and drops his head to the crook of my neck, letting me know he's right there. Making me forget everything and everyone all at once as I orgasm against him again. One scratch down his back with my nails is all it takes. James loses control, letting go inside me and then collapsing onto my body.

"God," I gasp. "How are you so good at what you do?"

"Lots of practice." He answers, making me laugh. "Just making sure you will sleep well tonight, that's all."

"Mmm-hmm." I smirk and feel him kiss my jawline. 

"And also reminding you what you can never give up." 

It's like the damn man can read my mind. I guess that's why we are best friends but I hate that he can read me like a book. He just knows what I am thinking.

"I hate you, you know that?" I say as he pushes into me a few more times with an evil little smirk.

"I don't think you do."

*********

*Nate*

"You sound like shit." Trisha teases me in the studio when I cough.

 "I'm coming down with a cold or something."

"I'll have Evan pick up some Vitamin C on our way home." Trisha looks at Evan who is sitting on  one of the chairs scrolling through his phone. Ren declined fast as the day went on and we think he has the flu. He dropped me off at home to grab another driver and vehicle and I gave him the rest of the day off. Evan will be our driver for a few days. I can't afford to get sick and a bit OCD when it comes to germs.

 The timing is not great. It never is. I have a shitload of interviews to do next week and have some appointments scheduled with my voice coach. But it's winter and there is so much going around so I'm not surprised I am under the weather.

Trisha looks up from her laptop when I cough again and put my guitar down.

"You good, Nate?" She's now concerned.

"I'm fine."

But I'm not. Because the next time I cough I see a tinge of blood on my hand. Shit. Trisha is back looking down at her laptop so doesn't notice. It was just a tiny bit so I don't brother bringing it up. I will tell Jonah later.

But then I look over and Evan's eyes are wide and staring at my blood-tinged hand. I glare at him and shake my head, letting him know to not bring it to Trisha's attention. He furrows his eyebrows at me but my death stare is enough for him to keep his mouth shut. I grab a tissue from the box next to me and quickly wipe the blood away.

This can't be happening. Not again.

******