*Nate*

I try not to dwell on Jeremy Donovan or try to put the pieces of the puzzle together right now. Not until I know more. I'm overthinking shit. I tend to jump to conclusions, but I can't help it with him. He wanted to change all of Julia's medications and most of them had side effects that could sedate her. Yet, he got mad and fired a nurse for over-medicating Julia, which resulted in sedation. The things he does contradict each other. Nothing makes sense yet.

 Or why would Melanie England, the other therapist, just up and leave? Quickly being replaced with a very wealthy well-known doctor from the East Coast? Jeremy himself comes from a family of wealthy well-known doctors and lawyers. These are the types of people that rule the world. The friggen Elon Musks and Mark Zuckerbergs. People that have these huge law firms, everyone is afraid of or invented some kind of artificial knee replacement or some shit, and now are billionaires. Smart people. Geniuses. People like Jeremy Donovan.

 Instead, I stand here and examine myself in the full-length mirror while Mr. Rolston, my fifty-year-old tailor I've had for years, measures the length of my slacks. Speaking of money, this suit is expensive. It's a classy dusty pink blush-colored suit from Savile Row with a white button-down dress shirt underneath and a white rose on the lapel. The accessories alone are outrageous. Just the Hublot white diamond watch is $53,600.00 and the Louis Vuitton white dress shoes are ten grand. Too expensive for one night, but Trisha insists it's perfect.

"It's perfect!" Trisha exclaims. 

Yep. Just like I thought. Perfect. So why am I not thrilled to be fitted for this "perfect" formalwear? Because I don't want to go to the Grammy's solo. I want to bring Julia. I want her to wear a beautiful gown and get pampered and dolled up like my girlfriends always do for big events like these. I'm still working on this.

Trisha will go regardless. She has to. She's my Personal Assistant. Most of the PAs go to these events, as well as Holly, my hair and make-up girl. They won't sit on the floor with the rest of the celebrities, but even sitting on the balcony, it's a fun night. Especially this year. I'm nominated for 5 awards, including Album of the Year, Song of the Year, Songwriter of The Year, Best Solo Performer of the Year, as well as Best Music Video of the Year thanks to Mila in Heartbreak Hotel. Which means, she will most likely be at the Grammy's also.

"I really think Jules would be fine for one night. She'd have so much fun." I try not to squirm as the tailor practically cups my sack while measuring my inseam. Trisha stands behind me and swipes off imaginary lint on the shoulders of my jacket then rests her chin and looks at me through the mirror.

"Nate. She's at The Avalon. Full time. You know she can't." She walks in front of me and fixes the lapel.

"Jeremy would let her. She has him wrapped around her fingers." I lift my chin so she can button the dress shirt while trying to have a conversation with her.

"Yeah, you really want to be asking that man for favors? I will never understand how you guys even let him in the same room as her. One of these days, you're gonna pet the dog, and he's gonna bite you back."

"That's why I have Paul." I remind Trisha. "Let Julia milk Jeremy for all he's worth. Take advantage of him because no one else there will bend over backward for her like he will."

"Again. Playing with fire, Hollan."

"All set, sir." Mr. Rolston stands up, smiles, and flamboyantly claps at his own work. The suit fits like a glove. It really is perfect.

"You're next, Miss Banks." He gives Trisha a little nod and she leaves me to go change into her gown.

"Did you get what I asked for?" I whisper to the tailor while Trisha is in the changing room.

"Yes sir." Mr. Rolston waves his hand to a garment bag hanging on a door. He walks over and lifts up the bag to reveal a gorgeous matching dusty pink sheer gown that has a halter top that will button behind her neck. No need for a necklace with this dress but the white diamond earrings and bracelet match my watch.

Julia is going to look stunning.

******

*Julia*

"Maybe go out to the garden for some fresh air? It could help." Jeremy suggests but I want nothing but my bed right now. Detox has me feeling like shit and dealing with people is not on my to-do list for today. Nothing is.

"Nate just texted," Paul says to James who is sitting on the chair across from my bed petting Maggie. Now I've got Paul in the room too? Can't everyone just leave me alone today?

"He'll be here in about an hour. Maybe he can get her out of bed today." Paul continues like I'm not in the room. I pull the blanket over my head completely and close my eyes.

"Babe, can you at least help me with lunch?" James asks.

I frown, now feeling like a terrible person. James should never have to ask me for help. I should just be there for him like I always am. I can't shut down when he needs care too. I throw the covers off me and nod politely to my best friend.

"Of course." I promptly get out of my bed and make it.

But when I walk past James to leave the room, I swear he gave Paul a little wink. Damn gameplayer.

Everyone follows behind me. James knows no matter what, I will always snap out of my funk to take care of him. It's not his fault I'm like this. He shouldn't have to suffer. There have been times when I have shut down completely, like when Nate was with Mila and drinking. But we had Casey and Jonah to take care of James. I don't have that anymore. Paul does a fantastic job but it's not his job. It's mine.

I glance at Jeremy who is looking down at his pager. Good. He'll be leaving soon. The only time that guy leaves is if another patient needs him.

"Shit." He mutters to himself, catching my attention a little more. "I've gotta go. Cara's having a day today..." Jeremy looks to Paul. "Write down what she eats please."

Paul gives the doctor a slight nod, not giving him the satisfaction of actual words, and Jeremy rushes out of my apartment. Poor Nate. If it's not me having an episode, it's his sister. Today it's her turn. I'm merely in a bad mood due to my detox.

*****

*Nate*

Like always, Trisha doesn't want to go to the Avalon with me so I drop her and Evan off at home. Casey is at a hair appointment so Jonah decides to join me.

"Do I get to meet this Dr. Perfect today?" Jonah teases. Trisha or someone must have told him Julia's sarcastic nickname for Trevor Tremont.

"Unsure. Hopefully, she's doing ok today. Those nightmares really mess her up." I look out the passenger window while Jonah drives and cough a little.

"You coming down with something?"

"I fucking coughed once, Mom. Jesus."

Jonah rolls his eyes at me.

"Anyways, every day with Julia will be different. That's the fun part of being Bipolar. Your moods can change within minutes. And she's got the winning combination. Bipolar, detox, the ptsd... all that." He says while driving and my phone rings.

"It's Donovan. Fuck." I cough again, feeling a little tickle in my throat, before answering.

"What." I don't bother saying hello.

"It's not Julia. I just wanted to let you know if you plan on visiting the Avalon today, go through Julia's apartment."

"Was planning on it. Why?" I clear my throat.

"Your sister is having a rough day. She doesn't want any company, let's just say that."

"Christ. Ok, yeah."

Jeremy hangs up and I shake my head.

"Cara's having one of HER bipolar episodes. She doesn't want visitors, so we'll drive to the back and go in through Julia's private door." I sigh and pinch the tension between my eyes.

"I don't know how you do it, brother." Jonah shakes his head.

"I don't. That's why they are at the Avalon. I have fucking Stage C Heart Failure, remember? I can't handle one bipolar woman never mind two."

Jonah laughs and I let out a slight chuckle but then cough again.

"I better not be coming down with something. I have three interviews scheduled next week."

"I'm sure it's nothing."

We pull around back and I throw my baseball hat on, just in case. You just never know when Susan Hardy is lurking around looking for her next Nate Hollan story. Paul answers the door and we make ourselves at home. Jonah heads right for the fridge to feed his fucking tapeworm. 

Julia is in her element right now helping James with lunch, but I can tell she doesn't feel good. Detox does a number on her, but her symptoms should start to ease up soon. Hopefully.

"Hey, Darlin'." I kiss Julia on the lips and Gallo fucking rolls his eyes at me. He's lucky I like him now. I put a bag on the table next to James and take out a few books. "Your sister Gwen stopped by this morning with some of your devotionals and shit from your house. She said these two were your favorite?"

"They are!" James's eyes light up. He reads a Men's Bible Devotional every day. Someone has to hold the book and literally turn the pages for him but no one here ever minds that.

"I think Gwen is trying to make amends and apologize for her sisters." I lay the books out and James glides his hand over the cover of one that looks pretty old and worn.

"My mom gave me this one when Carter was born," James says. "Before she lost her marbles from dementia."

"I can help you with it after you eat if you like." I offer.

"You guys staying here for a bit?" Paul interrupts James's sentimental moment.

"Go. Goodbye." I know what Paul wants before he asks it. He wants a little break from the Avalon. I don't know where he goes or what he does, and I don't care. So long as the man doesn't come back trashed.

"K, bye." He doesn't waste another second and leaves, making me laugh a little.

"They scheduled my sleep study for tomorrow night," Julia announces and puts James's sandwich in his hand waiting for his grip to tighten. He's getting better at it, or at least today he is. I see Jonah look up from making a sandwich now that Julia is talking about medical stuff.

"Oh. Ok. Can someone stay with you?" I ask, not wanting Julia to do this alone. What if she has a nightmare? Who's going to comfort her? Some nurse she doesn't know?? I don't want that.

"They don't usually permit other people to go." Jonah chimes in.

"Yeah, the technician said I go alone. But it's right upstairs and there will be nurses there and stuff, so I'm not worried about a bodyguard if that's what you're implying."

"Are you ok with going alone though, Jule?"

"So long as Jeremy isn't there I will be just fine."

"Ok doll, just making sure." I give her a little nod and watch her care for James. There's a knock on the Avalon door, and Jonah answers it for us with a mouthful of food.

Fucking Donovan. Does this kid come here like seven times a day? Cuz it sure as hell feels that way.

"Did you forget?" Jeremy walks in but glares at Julia. Now what? Julia crosses her arms and squints her eyes at him.

"I'm busy. James needs to finish eating."

"You're gonna piss him off, Julia." 

Piss who off? I watch the interaction but have no clue what's going on.

"You know," Jeremy leans against the wall and continues watching Julia help James. "You keep saying you want to get better, but I'm starting to think you just say that to shut everyone up."

Ouch, Donovan's in a mood. He's not kissing up to Julia today. I wonder what she did.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Julia says sarcastically but I can tell she knows exactly what Jeremy is talking about.

"Did you know I hired this doctor specifically for you? I could have hired anyone. But I did my research. I wanted someone to replace Melanie but it wasn't going to be just any doctor. I wanted the best.  I wanted someone that would take you seriously. But you don't fucking take yourself seriously, do you?"

"Jule. What's going on? " I ask but in a stern way still glaring at Donovan. He's not gonna stomp in here and ream Julia out like this for no reason.

"Nothing. I missed an appointment. Big deal. I was tired and didn't feel good." 

"We're ALL tired and don't feel good! Why the hell do you think we're here, Julia!" Jeremy snaps. OK, did this kid not take his meds today or something? I don't like his tone towards Julia.

"Alright, you need to calm down," James speaks up now.  I'd love to warn Jeremy that James packs a punch, but I kinda want to see this play out. Jeremy could use a good slug.

"This is your second appointment you blew off with Trevor Tremont." Jeremy pays no attention to James. Or anyone else in the room for that matter. His eyes are solely on Julia right now.

"And.. your point?" Julia is in rare form today as well. Not a winning combination, these two.

"My point? Julia, this guy uprooted his whole life to come here. Just for YOU." He points at her.

What did he just say? Fuck. I was right. Jeremy knows Trevor.

"Aside from me- Trevor is the ONLY one who can help you. You don't trust me so I thought, hey, what the heck, maybe she'll trust this guy? Then she can still get the proper treatment."

"He can't help me, Jeremy." Julia begins to clean up the dishes from the table to busy herself now.

"I hired him FOR you."

*******

*Julia*

I stare at Jeremy for a moment, now not knowing what the hell is going on. I thought this was because I blew off this morning's therapy appointment with Dr. Tremont but it's not. It's more than that right now.

"What do you mean you hired him for her?" Nate peers at the doctor. Jeremy takes a deep breath and shakes his head.

"It took me forever to find him. Forever. And when I did I had to practically BEG the guy to work here. For you. He has no other patients."

"WHAT?!" I almost drop the plate in my hand and sit back down. Jeremy walks over to the table.

"Julia. Trevor Tremont is the best of the best. He left his practice on the East Coast for this."

"For WHAT?" I'm still confused.

"For YOU. To help YOU and only YOU. But you keep blowing him off. You have two options Julia and only two. You have ME and you have TREVOR. That's it! Nobody else is going to take you on as a patient. Not with all the shit you have. Do you know why? Because they know they will fail you, that's why. So, it's easier for them to just keep you doped up and not deal with the problem. Is THAT what you want? Just like after the accident when you were in the hospital. Just like how Dr. Prade doped you up 24/7 instead of dealing with you. Instead of getting to the root of the problem. Is that how you want to live your life? Because me and Trevor... we're trying to fix the problem not ignore it!"

"You REALLY need to calm down." James stands up now.

Jeremy takes his glasses off and rubs the tension between his eyes. He is fearless.  James doesn't intimidate him and that right there is a red flag because James is all muscle.

"Why the hell would you go out of your way to hire this guy for ONE patient. That doesn't even make sense Jeremy." Nate asks now.

"I searched for so long. I didn't think I would find him. To be honest, I didn't think he'd leave his practice and actually fucking move here." Jeremy is still rambling on. "He was the only other one, aside from me, that was making progress with these mental health issues."

"Donovan. WHY did you hire this guy JUST for Julia?" Now it's Nate's turn to get pissed.  No one knows what Jeremy is talking about.

Jeremy huffs but looks at me.

"You have the winning combination right here. Me and Trevor - working together.  No one else is invested like we are. And you're blowing your chance. You're gonna screw it up if you don't take it seriously. You're screwing yourself, Julia."

"Jeremy," Nate says in a bit of a bolder tone. He needs more from the doctor.

"Jesus Christ." Jeremy throws his hands up in the air. "Fine."

We watch him pull out a chair at the kitchen table and sit down. He loosens his tie and looks me dead in the eyes.

"He was one of Eric Furgeson's doctors."

*******