*Nate*

"We're keeping the plans. That's it. Everyone is coming on tour. Julia's not gonna get better at The Avalon with Jeremy there. She needs to get away." I sip my tea, happy to be healed and able to use my voice now.

We have two days. Two days before we go to London. No, I wasn't able to go a full week early due to my medical shit but three days early is better than nothing. Julia is at The Avalon with Jonah. She's still going even though I am done. I only have two days left to get everything in order, so my AA meetings will now be virtual.

I've said my goodbyes to Cara, who pretty much said Screw You and flipped me off like she always does, but then barrels into me for a hug, tells me how much she's gonna miss me and cries. Believe me, if I could bring Cara home with me to see Aunt Jeanne, I would. I just can't handle her. I can barely handle Julia right now. I've been running around in circles debating what to do. But it's not just Julia affected by my decision. It's James and Casey too. 

We can make this work. I'm sure of it.

So here we are, sitting in the living room, everyone but Julia and Jonah, having a little meeting.

"And if she flips out?" Trisha asks. "What's the plan? You need a plan Nate."

"I'll handle it." Paul puts his coffee down and gives me a nod. For some reason, it's been Paul who is able to calm Julia down. 

"Nate. You need to focus on performing. You can't be worrying about this shit." Trisha ignores the bodyguard but he stands his ground.

"I said- I'll handle it."

"Listen, I know everyone is worried. But we're gonna be busy.  And having fun. There will be no Jeremy Donovan. No Dave Brennan. Nobody to worry about, yeah? James and the dog are gonna stay with me so James isn't in a hotel room alone." I nod to James, reassuring him once again, he will be taken care of. Casey pats James shoulder . She knew he been worried about traveling, I've heard them talking a few times about it.

I look over a Trisha who still isn't sold on this plan. 

"Trish. I need this. You know I do. I'm thirty-one years old with heart disease. I don't know how many more tours I will be able to go on. This could be my last one and I know I'm being selfish. Believe me, I fucking know, doll. But I need Julia to come with me."

The rest of my body might be healthy but there's an expiration date on my heart. If I make it past my dad it'll be a miracle. I don't bring it up in front of Julia but Trisha knows this. I try not to look over at her but I can see Trisha out of the corner of my eye, wiping her own eyes. I don't mean to upset her, but this is my reality. 

Reality fucking sucks sometimes.

"I just want to make the best of it, yeah? I've been waiting over two years. I'm excited." I try to bring the conversation back up to a happier place. Trisha nods and I nudge her a little to make her smile. "Now go help Gallo pack."

******

*Julia*

"You're really gonna go on tour with my brother?" Cara sits down next to me during breakfast. Something she hasn't done since I accused Jeremy of rape. Jeremy, who has decided to torture me by being my shadow until I leave thanks to my behavior. He finds excuses to make it him and not Melanie. So right now he is sitting across from me next to Jonah while documenting my food intake. I try not to feel on edge with him at the same table as me but at least he isn't sitting right next to me.

I really don't want to have a confrontational conversation with Nate's little sister about this so I keep my head down and continue eating breakfast.

"And YOU signed off on it to let her travel like that?" Cara glares at Jeremy now.

"Yes. I did, Cara. Do you have something that's bothering you about this that you want to talk about?" Jeremy says in a professional manner making both me and Jonah internally roll our eyes.

"I just find it odd. You think she is healthy enough to go? I've seen her shut down here. I've seen my brother carry her out of this place because she cried herself to fucking pass out or whatever it is she does."

"Cara, it's not about her being healthy enough. Her diagnosis, like yours, is something she will have for the rest of her life. Like you, she needs to learn how to control it. To gain coping skills when she feels her anxiety creep in." The doctor explains while watching me eat. "You're doing a good job." He writes something in my chart like I earned some gold star next to my name or something. I'm just trying to survive the day and get outta here.

"You're so not gonna be ok." Cara huffs and begins eating.

"Thanks." I say sarcastically while keeping my eyes down. "Is that why you're sitting next to me today? For this pep talk?"

"You'll be back here in a week. Nate won't be able to handle you AND his job at the same time. You'll see. Hope they're holding your room for you." She scoffs at me and I frown. I frown because they ARE holding my room for me. Nate has paid through the year to keep my spot here. Talk about having faith in me on getting better, huh?

"What is it about me you just don't like, Cara? Why are you even sitting here?" I finally make eye contact with Nate's blue eyes in his sister.

"I'm just warning you. If he can't handle me he sure as fuck can't handle you, lady. It has nothing to do with what I like and dislike about you."

"Cara..." Jeremy tries to tone her down a little but she just laughs.

"Oh please, Jeremy. Don't cover for her. You know she's just like me. Hell, she's probably worse. She's got multiple shit wrong with her.  She can't even look at food when it's in front of her. She's probably just like that guy Eric Furgeson. Don't think I haven't heard that story. He's talked about a lot around here. A legend that one."  Cara laughs with sarcasm because the guy went and offed himself. Nothing legendary about that.

Jeremy inhales sharply while listening to Cara go on and on. She just doesn't shut up sometimes. I look over at Jonah who shakes his head at me a little.

"I'm not Eric Furgeson." I drop my fork and glare at the girl.

"You're not, Julia." Jeremy tries to stay calm but I can see it in his eyes. This got to him. He moves and sits down right next to me now. I look down at my food but tense up. He's too close. I can smell his cologne. Pins and needles of goosebumps form on my skin. 

"God, you baby her. You have a thing for this lady, don't you? You bend over backwards for her. More than you do with any other patient." Cara laughs and continues to shovel food into her mouth like what she said was no big deal. But it was. Color drains from Jeremy's face and he looks away from her. I pick my fork up but my hands are shaking a little with him right next to me. I drop my fork accidentally and close my eyes, trying to stay calm.

"Can you please go back over there?" I whisper while my eyes are still closed. "Please." I'm trying to be polite, here. I'm trying to stay calm and not cause a scene, but I can feel my body begin to shake. Where's Paul when I need him? He got me to focus on him in the hospital elevator. He got me through being this close to Jeremy. "Please." I repeat and begin to cry.

"Yeah.  Yeah, ok. Sorry" The doctor gives me a sympathetic look when I raise my eyes to him and quickly moves back across the table. But it's too late. I need to get out of this room. I can't breathe.

"Sorry.." Jeremy says again softly and Cara squints her eyes at him. Third time now. Third time she has looked at the doctor suspiciously.

"I need to use the bathroom." I abruptly stand up. "Jonah. I need to get out of this room." Without waiting, I leave my tray on the table, ignore everyone around me and quickly walk out of the cafeteria.

  Jonah gets up but I hear Jeremy talk to him before I'm out the door.

"Let her go. Give her a few minutes to calm down then we'll go check on her."

I walk down the hall and past the bathrooms to my room instead. Two more days. I'll be gone in two more days. I keep reminding myself that over and over again right before I spiral out of control.

******

"Julia, is the room spinning right now? Blurry?" Jeremy finds me in my room. But not on my bed. In the corner with my knees  tucked up to my chest while I hold them, in the middle of a damn panic attack. He kneels in front of me and signals Jonah to come in and close the door behind him. He knows he can't be alone with me.

"Please go." I bury my face into my arms in hopes Jeremy will just stand up and leave me alone. The second he puts his hand on my knee I flinch.

"No. Back up." Jonah notices right away.

"Right. Sorry." Jeremy removes his hand but is still talking to me. I try to tune him out but it's not working. "Everything is spinning around in fast circles, even with your eyes closed. Right?"

I nod but keep my head buried in my arms.

"You feel like you want to tear apart this room but there's nothing to break."

I nod in anger, feeling my tears well up as I give in and look up at the doctor. "Everything's spinning too fast. I can't get it to stop!" 

"Ok." Jeremy sits down right next to me and leans against the wall. I can't handle him being so close but need help. The spinning is making me nauseous. "I'm gonna show you the 'Fixation Technique' ok? So if this happens while you're away you will know how to stop it."

I nod, now completely giving in out of desperation.

"It will help lessen the effects of these spins. Keeping your eyes open, stare at something in the room. Anything at all." Jeremy waits for me to look straight ahead at  the door. I focus on the door handle, of all things. Once he sees me staring at it, he continues. "Good. Sit upright and firmly plant your feet on the floor, just like you're doing right now.  Both of these methods will reassure you brain that your body isn't actually moving.  Always remember to stare at an object not moving. Avoid staring at people, ceiling fans, that sort of stuff. Stare at a non-moving object. Like right now, you're staring at the door handle, correct?"

I nod, hating that what he is advising me to do is working.

"Now, slowly blink a few times. If you stare for too long, or keep your eyes closed for an extended period of time, it will worsen." I do as  the doctor says and the room slowly stops moving. My focus becomes clearer.

Then I cry. I cry so hard.

Because it worked. Because Jeremy helped me out of my  episode. Out of my panic attack.

"I hate you so much!" I cry out, still looking at the doorknob.

"I know you do." He whispers back so only I can hear him. "I know.."

*******

*Nate*

"It was crazy, Nate." Jonah tells me everything. He waits for Julia to go downstairs to the gym with James  and Casey but I can tell the wait was killing him. Trisha is making dinner, listening to it all, as well as Paul who is sitting at the kitchen island. "He knew just what to do." 

Jonah gets super excited when he sees medical stuff happen like this. Even if it's Jeremy that's the doctor .

"He called it 'Fixation Technique'. I paid attention to it all so I can help Julia if it happens while we're away. But Nate, it was unreal. Everything he said. Everything he told her to do. It all worked." Jonah paces the living room while talking.

"How did Julia react to THAT?" Trisha turns around to look at Jonah.

"Like once she was out of her panic attack? She cried. Then said she hated him. I think because he knew what to do. He always seems to know what to do."

"God if I didn't want him to rot in prison, I'd hire him to be Julia's doctor on tour. He royally fucked that one up." I huff. 

"And you pay well." Paul laughs a little at that, now part of the conversation.

"Poor Jules. This is an impossible situation." I can't believe we have to rely on someone like Donovan to help Julia the way he does. "I can't imagine what she must be feeling." 

We let Jonah ramble on while Trisha cooks dinner and end the conversation the minute everyone else comes upstairs.

"James ran on the treadmill!" Casey exclaims proudly. I raise my eyebrows at her. James hasn't been able to run since his coma because his coordination was off. It's been months.

"Wow, really?

"Jogged. I jogged. But ye-yes. Really." James stammers. "Casey had to spot me to make sure but I did it."

"Five miles!" Casey  is very proud of this accomplishment. Everyone should be actually. Just months ago this kid was a fucking potato in the ICU. Now he's running five miles? That's insane. I look at the elevator and back at James and Casey.

"Where's Julia??"

"She's still down there running.  She didn't  want to come up with us yet. I think she's a little hyperfocused." Casey looks at Jonah nervously. "She wouldn't budge and is pushing herself to the limit. That's why we came up here. Not really sure what to do. She seems upset." 

Casey and James have no idea about today's panic attack. Right when Julia came home she insisted on going downstairs to help James with his PT and then workout. It's been over an hour.

She's done this before. I remember it like it was yesterday.

 I remember  looking everywhere for her after she told me and James to figure out shit out and let her  know who to choose. This was back when she was still living at the Marriott. I looked everywhere for her. The hotel gym was my last resort. I saw her break down and cry while on the treadmill and knew it was because of the things I've said and done. 

****

Having a key to her room now that I practically own it for the rest of the year, I swiped it in hopes the door would unlock. I take my baseball cap off once I see no one else is in the gym and walk to her.

Now I stand here, holding Julia in my arms tightly. She didn't push me away. She didn't yell at me. She didn't storm out. She buried herself in my hug and cried.

"I'm so sorry. I know I keep having to say sorry. I know I keep fucking up, Jules. But, I'm so sorry." I pull her chin up so she has no choice but to make eye contact. "I never meant to hurt you. I was wrong. I shouldn't have told James." I ramble on. "I was so scared I was gonna lose you. That something would happen. That things would get too overwhelming and I wouldn't be there for you- like I wasn't there for you when--" I can't even finish the sentence.

Julia cuts me off. "I'm trying. I'm trying so hard, Nate."

I don't understand what she's saying at first so continue to let her talk. "I know I'm not ok. I know there's something wrong with me. But I'm trying to get better."

"It's both of us." I cup her face. "I'm a mess too. God, Jule, I'm such a mess. I don't know how to make this right. But I'm more of a mess without you." I admit. "I've been drinking every day, fucking everything up. Nothing's filling the void. I told you I would never give up on you.... Don't give up on me." I plead and kiss her hard. "Please. We'll figure this out, ok?"

I hold her tight. Maybe too tight as she calms down completely in my arms. We stay like this for awhile saying nothing. I just keep my arms around her and rest my chin on the top of her head.

****

There's been so many times Julia has told me she's been trying so hard. It breaks me. It breaks me because I know she is but I feel like we have been running around in one big circle without getting better.  And this was before she was diagnosed with anything. This was before Richard found out we broke contract.

"I've got this." I announce and before anyone can change my mind I head downstairs. Just like before, by the time I'm downstairs, Julia is leaning on the treadmill while it's still running, her feet stable on the sides. She overworked herself , pushed herself to run too fast while her thoughts run wild in that head of hers. Now her head is down on her arm while she cries.

Like last time, I pull the red plug from the treadmill so it stops automatically. Julia looks up and sees it me. I don't let her say a word this time. She doesn't need to. I know. I pull her off the treadmill and hold her in my arms. We stand there together for some time before she begins to calm down.

"I hate him."

"I know you do, doll. Believe me. We all do." I kiss her head and walk her to the bench to sit down. Her heart is racing.

"He knew just what to do." She talks like I already know what happened today because I do. I'm sure she just assumed by now Jonah would tell me the things that went on at The Avalon. 

"I know."

I know I could also kill my sister for constantly antagonizing Julia the way she does. It's not Cara's fault. It's just the way she is now. She wasn't always that way. But once she got addicted to drugs her entire personality changed. Just like Rita's.

It's weird. It's like Cara is jealous. Jealous that I give Julia the attention I do. That I'm taking her to meet our family in London. That she's not at the Avalon full time like my sister. But this is a whole different scenario. This is the woman I love and want to marry.  It's a completely different relationship but Cara doesn't see that. She only sees another bipolar woman getting my attention and not her. Me caring for another person while she's stuck institutionalized. I get it. I do. But its very different.

"You know I love you, right? I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure you're ok while we travel. Even if I have to fucking text the asshole to tell me what to do if needed. At least he can't get to you. He won't be near you at all. We'll be far away, Jules."

Julia nods. She knows. I will do whatever it takes. And I will.

"Cmon, Darlin. Lets go up and take a shower. You're workout is over. Down here at least. I wink and she rolls her eyes like she always does.

******

*Julia*

I love that Nate and I are back to taking showers together daily. When the whole Mila Giovanni thing happened, it took be a while to forgive and do things with Nate. Even little things. It's still hard. Between Luke and then Nate, I started to think it was me that was the problem. It took a lot of healing to get over it with Nate. To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever fully get over it.

 It was something that just happened, unplanned. He was forced to have a PR Stunt relationship that turned into him having real feelings for Mila. It was know she already had a major celebrity crush on Nate so it was easy on her end.

 I still have a good amount of healing and trust issues but we are both making the effort together. So here I am, back in the routine of taking daily showers together. Sometimes we have sex, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we just wash up and get out, sometimes we talk or cry. Sometimes we even fight while in the shower. Because it's Nate and Julia. We butt heads often. Fire and Ice. Oil and Water. Tornado and Hurricane. 

"What are you thinking right now, doll?" Nate asks while standing behind me, washing my hair. He always twirls it down my back which I love. "You're quiet tonight."

"You really don't want to know." He really doesn't. It'll just cause a fight.

"I really do. Was it about everything that happened today with Donovan?" 

"No. Let's not talk about it right now."

Nate turns me around so I can rinse my hair gazes into my eyes. "If it's on your mind I wanna know."

"I don't want to rehash things, Nate. Seriously." I close my eyes and rinse my hair but when I open them he is still looking at me waiting. "You're not gonna give up, are you?"

"Not a chance, princess."

I take a deep breath and tell Nate exactly what's on my mind.

"You and Mila." I notice the second I said her name Nate tensed up and he could tell it was noticeable.

"It's over."

"Is it though? I know in the media world she ended it for now to let you heal and sober up.. and then the  next thing you know, you're announcing an engagement with me which shocked the world. But Nate-"

"Jules. It's over." He interrupts but I'm not convinced. "I wouldn't be here right now with you. You know that. If I really wanted her, I'd find a way. You know I would."

I nod but it doesn't make me feel any better. I actually wish I just lied and told him I was thinking about tour or something else.

Because it just doesn't sound like Nate would have ever ended it with Mila on his own. She is the complete opposite of me. She's really young, really happy all the time. The opposite of me. She's someone that I could see a celebrity like Nate date for a long time. 

*Nate*

Why is she even thinking about this shit right now? It's over. So much has happened between then and right now. Julia is right. I wasn't the one to break it off. I probably wouldn't have broken it off either. Not while I was drinking at least. I didn't care about how I was hurting Julia and certainly didn't care about myself. I was binge drinking. I wasn't thinking about anything but being selfish and feeling good. I tore Julia apart while doing so.

Julia turns back around without saying anything to my response and continues with the shower.

"Hey. Jules, look at me." I walk around her and stand in front of her, forcing Julia to make eye contact. "It's over. I'm with you. I'm gonna marry YOU. I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with you. So many negative things have happened lately  and I know we both still have a lot of healing to do." I pull her in and wrap my arms around her tiny frame.

"I know. Sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. But you asked, and I'm not gonna stand here and lie to you. Just like I'm not gonna lie to you about being nervous to go on tour with you. You know I am." Julia hides her tears in the water but I can tell she's upset.

"We're gonna do so much while we're in London you won't have time to think about anything negative. You're gonna meet my aunt Jeanne. She took care of me and Cara after my dad died." I take her face in my hands and kiss her perfect lips.

 "Then I'm gonna show you and James around. We're gonna go on The Big Bus London Hop- on Hop- off Tour and River Cruise. We're gonna go to Stonehenge, Windsor Castle, and Bath." I continue to lightly kiss her  while talking. 

"We can see Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace. Even St. Paul's Cathedral. They even have a Harry Potter Studio tour. You love those movies, doncha princess?"

"I do." Julia wipes her eyes and smiles up at me.

"Ohh. Does James like Football?" I ask but Julia cocks a brow at me.

"Football or soccer???" She's playing games with me now isn't she? I sigh and give in. Julia is worth giving in to.

"Soccer...." I grin and she throws her arms around me. That's all it took to calm her down completely.

"He does like soccer."

"Good, cuz I had Trisha get us tickets to tour the Emirates Stadium where Arsenal plays. As well as Stamford Bridge where Chelsea Plays. Neither are playing while we are there but Crystal Palace is so we got tickets to a game at Selhurst Park." I know Julia may not know the stadium names like I do but she knows football. Her son played.

"Danny would have loved this." She frowns a little but then smiles at me. "He'd be happy to see I get to experience an international game."

"He's gonna be watching down on you and enjoying it through you, doll."

Julia cries but I know it's bittersweet tears now. She nods and an presses her cheek into my chest. "He will."

"See? We're gonna do all the things. You're not gonna have time to think of  anything Negative. And neither is James. The three of us will have fun. Together. I will always make sure James is having fun too and that he is well taken care of. Just like you, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And then, you can either be in the front row or backstage at my first Around The World Concert. Wembley Stadium. It sold out within in a half hour of ticket sales." I say proudly and Julia knows this must be a big thing for me by the way my eyes water slightly just thinking about it. "You and James. I even wrote a new song that hasn't been released yet that will be debuting at that concert. But don't tell anyone. Only me and the band know."

"You did?? What's the name of it?"

I smile down at Julia and kiss her cheek. "I named the song... 'Safe Haven'. It's a slower song. I wrote it for you."

That's all I needed to say. Julia bursts into happy tears and kisses me with so much emotion it takes my breath away.

We make love right in that shower. It wasn't our normal reckless shower scene. It was sweet and gentle and meaningful. Yes that can actually happen in the form of shower sex.  And when we were done, I wrapped her up in a towel and carried her to bed to do it all over again. And again.

*******

*Julia*

We lay in bed, tangled in the sheets for the rest of the night.  Casey helps James with his routine and he doesn't fight her or ask questions. He's not dumb. He knows when me and Nate go into hibernation mode like this what we're doing. And we certainly went into hibernation mode. Nate demanded I stay put, naked in this bed, even brought dinner into the room for us to eat. Granted his room is the size of two hotel suites but it was just the two of us.

"I wanna hear the song you wrote." I say after we eat dinner and are back to wrapping our bodies around each other.

"Uh-uh. At the concert." Nate kisses my forehead and combs his fingers through my hair.

"Cmon. If you sing it at the concert it won't be as special. Thousands of people hearing it for the first time with me. I'll be too distracted. Please?" I bat my eyes and he huffs.

"Fine. Only because I want it to be special. If you don't think it would feel special that night because of all the fans then I will sing a little. Not the whole song. Just a little. And it's gonna sound weird, doll. It being just me and the guitar verses the whole production."

"Sometimes its better when it's just you and the guitar." I admit. Acoustic Nate is amazing. He doesn't need anyone else on that stage with him. He captures the audience in such a way it's hypnotizing. I get out of bed, still  naked just like Nate, and grab his guitar. I don't hand it to him right away. Instead I put the strap over my body and strum the G chord, Em chord and D chord horribly, making my face twist up and Nate's loud laugh echo through the room.

"My God, you were always shit at guitar. But you look fucking hot as hell standing there naked with one wrapped around you, princess." Nate covers his ears and pulls me closer to him as he sits up in bed. "Give me that before you hurt someone."

I laugh and pull the strap over my head, handing Nate the very expensive guitar I tortured with my bad playing. Nate pats the empty spot right next to him in his ginormous bed and I crawl in next to him, both of us sitting up with the sheet covering our naked bodies.

"Jules, it's gonna sound weird just me and the guitar." He hesitates.

"Play it before I change my mind and go lay with James to help him fall asleep. Just like this." I lower the sheet, exposing my chest, making Nate raise a brow at me.  I smirk and watch him first tune his guitar before he begins strumming the sweetest sound. How he does it, I have no idea. We could do the exact same thing and mine sounds like hell and his heaven.

"My voice still needs some work after the injury..."  He hesitates again.

"Nate..... play me the song."

"Ok ok ok." Nate sighs and gives in. "Just a little."

 I watch him strum again and then hear his voice.

****

"No one told me it would be so hard, To live this life

To move past events that have scarred, When the pain stabs like a knife" Nate keeps his eyes on his guitar while his fingers and voice do their magic.

"We lose control, we throw grenades. We push and we pull till one of us breaks."

"But I wanna be the one you turn to, even with all my mistakes. I wanna wrap my arms around you, I wanna be your safe place" He glances up at me before singing the chorus.

"Let me show you the world, take away all your pain,

 Let me hold you and love you. Be your safe haven." 

You're all that I want and all that I need.

 I give you my heart though its broke and diseased."

My eyes begin to water but Nate's eyes stay down, focused on his guitar. I can tell  he is emotional though. That's one thing about Nate as a singer-songwriter. You can feel the emotion when he sings live like this. It's one of the things people rave about and why he draws in such a crowd.

"Let me show you the world, take away all your pain. Let me hold you and love you. Be your safe haven"

"I'll show you the world, take away all your pain. I'll hold you and love you. Be your safe haven.

I'll hold you and love you, Be your safe haven"

Nate stops strumming the guitar but doesn't look up at me right away. He leans his guitar against the nightstand before finally looking up at me. And when he does, tears are in his eyes.  Just like mine. I stare at him for a second with my lips parted in a bit of shock. It was the most beautiful song, the most beautiful tune I have ever heard, and it wasn't even the full song. 

"Say something." Nate begins to feel uncomfortable with me staring at him. 

 I burst in to tears and throw my arms around him. "I love it. Oh my God, I love it." I feel Nate's shoulders drop as he sighs in relief. Like my opinion actually mattered.

"It's not the whole thing, but you get what I mean. Jules I thought of you while I wrote it.  I wrote it at two in the morning, that night in the studio, after I proposed to you. It just...happened organically." That's how Nate is. That's what makes him such a creative person. Things just come to him. He doesn't have to try. All he has to do is have a pen and paper ready for when it happens.

Nate holds me as I cry into his shoulder but happy tears fall down. "Sing it again."

"Uh-uh. But how bout this, doll. Sit in the next rehearsal and hear the whole thing. With my band and everything, yeah? It will sound better then." He puts his music down a little like that wasn't the best thing I've ever heard in my life.  I let it go, knowing we can be our own worst critics, and nod in agreement. 

"Your fans are gonna love it. They're gonna go crazy over it, Nate. It's perfect." I kiss Nate and don't stop kissing him. But there's one nagging part of the song that breaks me a little.  It sticks in my head for the rest of the night until we fall asleep.

"You're all that I want and all that I need. I give you my heart though it's broke and diseased."

The truth in those lyrics stung.

******