*Nate*

"Ok, so we- as in me and Colton West- had our pretrial conference." Addison sips her coffee in my living room during our meeting before trial.

"What is a pretrial conference?" James asks.

"It's when the judge meets with the lawyers to evaluate the trial, review evidence and hope to negotiate a settlement. If a settlement is reached, then you wouldn't have to move forward with the trial." She explains. "A settlement wasn't reached so we need to proceed with the scheduled trial. Colton wants to win and his client, Nadine Jones, wants justice for her uncle."

"Justice! James didn't murder the guy. They were involved in a fucking car accident." I begin pacing and can tell Gallo is on the brink of tears. "So, what exactly happens at a trial?"

"Well," Addison shifts in her seat. " The prosecution and defense present their evidence. The prosecution will show pictures of the accident. It will be hard to look at James. West will paint a picture of the horrific scene that killed Mr. Jones. Then we call witnesses and make our arguments.  My argument will be that you don't belong in prison for this. My evidence will be how you are an honest man who made an honest mistake. A mistake that resulted in a coma and permanent disability. My witnesses will be all the people you love to paint a picture of what an outstanding citizen you are, as well as how medically you cannot physically serve time with the 24/7 care you need."

"Ok..." I wait for her to go on.

"They will say the law is the law. A man died because of reckless driving. And under the law that would be up to two years in prison. Non-gross vehicular manslaughter is a charge that occurs with a driver acts with ordinary negligence, such as inattention or carelessness, and causes a fatal accident. You ran a red light. You were inattentive."

"From working my ass off with back-to-back shifts at the Marriott. I wasn't drinking or anything like that!" James exclaims.

"Right. But they are seeking punishment that is equal to the crime. James, they are seeking to cause suffering to the wrongdoer that is equal to the suffering they caused with their actions. In this case, taking the life of Nadine's beloved uncle. I'm going to fight back by asking why, if Nadine was so close to her uncle, did she wait so long to come forward? Why didn't she have a proper service for her uncle? If she loves him so much why in the ten years Malcolm was your driver, did he NEVER mention his niece. There are no social media posts, no pictures of the two of them together, no Happy Birthdays. These are the things you do and say when you are someone's close uncle. If she's just looking for money, great. We'll give her money. But jail time?"

"Yeah, but will th-that be a strong enough case?" James stammers.

"No, Mr. Gallo. It will not. Which is why I am then going to highlight your disability from the crash. You are already paying your time. A lifetime being disabled. Colton will most likely say, that's not enough. Because you can no longer drive, taking away your license wouldn't be a punishment. Nadine will want more. But I will fight. I will bring up how if you were to go to prison the cost to the state to accommodate you medically and meet your requirements will be above and beyond anything the state of California can afford. Best case scenario, you'll have a hefty lump sum of financial compensation go to Nadine to pay for her emotional stress of losing a loved one. Maybe be on home confinement and have to wear an ankle monitoring device or something."

"And the worst case?" I swallow hard.

"Time in prison along with financial compensation."

*******

*Julia*

"You don't think they will let me be a witness just because I'm at the Avalon?" I'm furious. I want to go to the trial. I want to support James in any way possible. I want to tell the world what a caring man he is. A man who is would never, EVER do anything to hurt someone.

"I'm sorry, Julia. You are a mental health patient." Jeremy sits at his desk while Paul and I sit on the couch. Nate and James had a meeting with the lawyer, and no one feels confident he will walk away with his freedom.

"So I just don't have a voice anymore? Because I have an illness, I'm just- what- disqualified?" I frown. "Bullshit." I stand up and storm out of Jeremy's office with Paul on my tail. I don't even know where I'm going. I walk up and down the hall drawing attention to myself in my fit of rage.

"This is complete bullshit!" I yell as a nurse walks by and gives me a look.

"Julia. Stop." Paul scolds.

"And you know what ELSE is bullshit? People like Joe Gallo walking around town beating up his fucking kids. He's not in fucking jail! But James gets into one car accident, and they are talking about taking away his freedom? Seriously?!"

"Julia. You need to calm down." Jeremy is in the hallway now too. People are staring at me now. I'm causing a scene.

"Calm down?! Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I throw my arms up. "This is so unfair. ALL OF IT! And I can't even go to defend James? Because I'm in here?!"

"Moretti. Look at yourself right now. Look at your reaction. Stop for a moment. This is the kind of reaction that makes you look..." Paul hesitates. "Crazy."

I stop dead in my tracks. I look up at my bodyguard and then over at my doctor. My bottom lip quivers. "I'm not crazy."

"We know that. Julia, we-"Jeremy comes a little closer.

"Everyone thinks I'm crazy. Even you, Paul?"

"No, that's not what I mea-"

"But it is. It's exactly what you meant. I'm some crazy, unstable woman. Born with bipolar and all this other shit. Well, I'm not! And I wasn't always like this!" I cry out and turn to Jeremy. "I'm like this because of YOU! Because of Luke! Because of the things done to me. Because of the people taken away from me! I lost my fucking son in a car accident. You don't think this hits home just a LITTLE for me? I'm trying to defend James the way Danny deserved to be defended! BUT DANNY DIDN'T GET THAT CHANCE!"

I cover my face and drop to my knees. Hard.

*******

*Nate*

"She worked so hard. So fucking hard!" I cry out. I throw my phone and hear the loud crack as it shatters against the wall.

"Boss..." Paul says as Evan retrieves the phone and shakes his head. 

I stand in the doorway looking at sedated Julia in the bed. 

"FUCK!" I burst into tears.

"It had to be done. Nate, it really had to be done. She was so worked up." Paul tries to explain to me what happened, but I don't want to hear it.

"Where's Donovan? Where the hell is that fucking coward? He couldn't handle her so had to drug her up? Where is that bastard!" I want to punch him right in the face.

"NATE! Stop!" It's Jonah who has shown up once he heard what happened and Jonah who sits me down in the chair to calm me. "You'll be in the next room over if you keep this up."

"Jonah. She worked so hard!" I drop my head to my hands and fucking sob.

"Because they HAD to Nate. This is going to be something that Julia will have to deal with all her life. I already talked to Jeremy. It was one shot. Albeit a strong one but one shot.  It may not even affect her the way we think."

"Don't you get it? She crossed the finish line. For the first time she completed her detox. She was so damn proud!"

Jeremy slowly enters the room, and I jump out of my chair and lunge forward. "YOU! You sonofabitch!"

Both Paul and Evan are in my way holding me back. I grab on to my chest feeling the familiar shooting pain and it takes my breath away, forcing me to sit back down.

"You." I seethe with tear filled eyes.

"It had to be done, Nate. Medically- before she gave herself a heart attack like you're giving yourself right now. She couldn't breathe. She was stuck in her past thinking about her son's car accident. Nate she was in PHYSICAL pain."

I know exactly what the asshole is saying. I remember it clearly, one of my first encounters with Julia's pain. She sat right on the couch of my studio, unable to talk about her trauma. She said it hurt. It physically hurt. It was the first time I saw her cry.

"Nate, look at me." Jeremy squats down while I'm sitting on the chair to make eye contact. "This will always be an ongoing thing for Julia. She's bipolar. She can't control her emotions. She makes herself physically ill to the point she needs something to calm her down. All bipolar patients are like this. She just happens to also be an addict to the one thing we prescribe for bipolar episodes. She will ALWAYS need Ativan when she spirals out this way."

"Did you even try to talk to her?!"

"Nate..." Paul chimes in. "There was no talking to her. We tried. You know I would never let him inject her with that shit if I didn't believe she needed it. Boss, she needed it. It was bad." 

I look up at Paul who looks like he's been through the ringer. "She's going to have to start all over again."

"Not necessarily." Jeremy stands up. "She got one dose. That's it. She may be just fine."

"But now she has to stay here? She loses her apartment??"

"Not necessarily." He repeats. "Yes, she will need a nurse for at least 24-48 hours to monitor her. If you have an available nurse, she can do this back in her apartment. Normally I wouldn't even think of it but-"

"I can stay with her." Jonah volunteers. "I can watch over her."

"What about the trial? You may be called up to the stand. Casey too." I remind the nurse as I try to calm down.

"Then I'll stay with her." Jeremy says.

"Over my dead body." I snap.

"You have a bodyguard, correct? I live on that same wing of the facility. I will check in on her from time to time. But we can't afford to have nurses go all the way down there. We are short staffed as it is."

"Paul?" I look up to my bodyguard. He's going to have to be the one to deal with Donovan. I'm on the witness list too. I can't stay here for 48 hours straight either. It will have to be Jeremy. He's here anyway.

 Paul gives me a nod.

"I will be with her to make sure nothing happens." He glares at Jeremy without needing to say anything more.

"Then it's settled. Once she wakes up we will put her in a wheelchair and wheel her down to her place. I will have an IV ready for fluids to flush her system out. The quicker we get it out of her body the better. But Nate. You do understand why we had to do this, right? I don't take this lightly. At all. Julia was proud of herself, and I was proud of her accomplishment too."

"I'm sure you were."

*******

*Julia*

I open my eyes, and I feel the familiar throb in my shoulder. No. Oh God, no. I look around the room to see Mike Maloney sitting on the chair next to my bed... in my old room.

"Hey Sunshine." Mike says with a sullen look.

 I feel groggy, dehydrated and lightheaded.

"They..." I try to sit up but am too weak. "They sed-" I swallow hard unable to form words yet.

"They sedated you, yeah." Mike's eyes are full of sorrow as he looks over at me. "Um, Paul just went to grab a coffee, and Nate is visiting his sister but should be back soon."

"They sedated me." I repeat, completely dejected.

"Hey, don't be discouraged. The doctor said because it was only one shot you may not have to go through the full detox."

I close my eyes and feel my tears run down my cheeks. I'm never going to be free from my addiction. Even when I don't slip up on my own. Even when I try so hard to recover. It's always there to knock me down.

"I think I'm done." I manage to muster up the willpower to turn myself so I'm on my side facing the wall and pull my knees up to my chest.

"What?"

"I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore." I keep my eyes shut but feel Mike rub my back. That's when I let my emotions out. This sad quiet cry comes out of me.

 It's the cry of defeat.

******

*Nate*

"Mom called my cell phone yesterday."

I stare at my sister. Did she just say what I fucking thought she said? Can this day get ANY worse?

"What do you mean Mom called your cell phone yesterday. How would Rita have your number?  How do you even have access to a cell phone?"

"Nate, YOU gave me the cell phone a few years ago, remember? We have to keep shit like that in our lockers behind the front desk. The receptionist heard it ringing and unlocked it for me. She apologized."

"I can't deal with this right now, Cara. I really can't." I stand up and rub the tension forming in the back of my neck.

"She's sorry, Nate. She was high and upset when she found out I was here and-"

"Bullshit, Cara. Absolute bullshit. You know what? You believe whatever the hell you want to believe, ok? I'm done fighting with you over this stuff. You're never going to fucking learn and I have bigger problems to tackle right now."

"What? Like your murdering friend or your strung-out girlfriend." Cara laughs. She sits there and fucking laughs. I'm trying REAL hard to not be mad at my sister, knowing the things that come out of her mouth are sometimes because of her no filter disorder. But Julia is bipolar too and I don't hear snarky, hurtful remarks like this spewing from her mouth.

"He's not a murder."

"Did he not kill a man?"

"Cara. You're walking a fine line right now. I swear to God." I begin to pace. "Why is it every time I come visit you, you find ways to piss me off?"

"Isn't that what little sisters do?" She smirks. This is all some big joke to her.

"I'll talk to you later." I rush out of her room before I decide to say something I will later regret. Cara is so frustrating to be around sometimes.

I close my sister's door and lean on it for a moment with my eyes closed.

"You good?" Paul stops in his tracks when he sees me.

"I need a fucking drink. Real bad."

"Well... here's decaf coffee that tastes like dirt. You're welcome." Paul sorts and hands me the paper cup. It even looks like dirt.

"Julia should be waking up soon so I called Jonah to come back. If James is up to it he may bring him to visit." He says as we walk and carry our cups of dirt. By the time we get to Julia's room, my cup of dirty is empty so I crumble it up and toss it in the trash before entering.

"She's awake." Mike glances up at us but shakes his head. I frown, knowing exactly what we're in for. He leaves the room once we enter and for once, I'm grateful the felon is here to look over Jules when I can't. 

Paul and I share a look as we both sit down. Julia is on her side with her eyes shut. Crying.

"Hey, doll." I lean over and kiss her tear covered cheek.

"They sedated me." Her voice is weak and broken.

"I know, Jules. They had to." I take my chances and lay down in her bed, spooning her. I wrap my arm around her tiny frame, and she cries harder.

"I don't even remember what happened! What did I do wrong?!"

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's not about that. Darlin, you couldn't control your breathing. You were hyperventilating and in physical pain. Your bipolar got the best of you and you had a manic episode in the hallway."

"OVER WHAT?!"

Jesus she really doesn't remember. I know Jeremy said if the episode is bad enough you tend to black out or only remember bits and pieces and never in the right order, but she really hasn't a clue, does she? I don't want to be the one to remind her either.

"It just happens sometimes, ya know? There's a lot going on. Everyone is stressed out." I'm crossing my fingers that answer is sufficient enough for her. Julia slowly turns herself around to face me, making it known it took all her strength to do so because she is still somewhat sedated.

Her expression and those sad eyes break me down.

"I give up."

"What? Love, no."

"If this is how it's always going to be for me, then I give up." Tears stream down her face rapidly.

"It's just a minor bump in the road, that's all, doll." I tuck her hair behind her ear but know my words fell flat.

"You don't have to stay. I know you have other stuff to deal with."

"Jule, stop. I don't HAVE to do anything. I'm here because I want to be. Because I love you."

"Don't." Julia closes her eyes, ready to fall back asleep. "You're wasting your time. Love someone else."

It's the last words she says before her sedation takes over.

The room falls silent and a hard lump form in my throat. Julia is giving up. She's done. Her best friend's life is a mess. Her life is a mess. She's tired and strung out and feeling damn hopeless right now. Her addiction will never set her free. It will never give her a chance to enjoy a sober life. 

This is Julia waving her white flag.

*****