*Julia*

I've been in this Avalon apartment twice in my life and have already slept with three men in this bed.

My rapist/therapist
My best friend
My fiancé

They weren't kidding when they diagnosed me with Hypersexual Tendencies stemmed from my Bipolar.

But I can't deny the facts. Or the fact that Nate making love to me washed away all the stress from the day and helped me forget my life, just for a little while. The way he kissed me sweetly, the way he held me after, the way he fell asleep holding me, made me forget about my detox.

I fall asleep easily and in Nate's arms, but not for very long.

I'm woken up by Maggie. James's dog jumps up on my body and starts kicking my face. It's like she knew not to bark in the middle of the night and knew I wasn't in a very deep sleep.

"What's wrong Maggie?" I scramble to my feet and throw my clothes on before following the dog.

Jonah is already awake, holding James on his side while my best friend's body convulses...in his sleep.

"Oh my God." I say softly to not wake Paul up but rush to James.

"This one's a long one." Jonah looks at his phone. "Going on 3 minutes."

"In his sleep?!?" I put my hand on James's cheek as his body shakes. Text Jeremy. He's going to need new clothes and sheets." I frown seeing the loss of bladder control. Poor James.

"You got him?" Jonah asks as I hold James on his side. I nod, and he texts Jeremy, the only person who knows we are in this apartment. He answers back right away, which makes me wonder if the man ever sleeps at all or just a very light sleeper like me.

James's body falls limp, and he begins to wake up, disoriented as Maggie licks her owners face.

"Hey sweetie, you ok?" I ask as he slowly sits up. Then, he begins to cry quietly. Steering clear of the wet bed, I lean in and wrap my arms around his confused body.

"You're ok." I whisper in his ear. "That one was long." I try to comfort him. "Shhh. You're ok."

Jeremy lightly taps on the door and opens it. Paul bolts up out of his sleep straight into bodyguard mode.

"Relax, you big baboon, I texted him. You can sleep through a seizure, but hear that tap?" Jonah scoffs.

"I-I had a seizure? In my sleep??" James comes to, now realizing what happened.

Jeremy comes in and clicks on the small lamp in the living room. He's only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, no shirt, no glasses, and his hair is tussled. He's holding not only clean clothes but a medical bag as well.

"Does he normally have awakening tonic-clonic' grand mal?" Jeremy puts the Avalon clothes and sheets down and immediately checks James out. First, by checking his pupils with a small flashlight.

"Tonic-clonic what?" I ask, and Jonah answers for Jeremy, who is listening to James's heartbeat now.

"Nocturnal seizures. No, he's never had one in his sleep like this before."

"What would cause this?" James asks, still fairly out of it.

"Could be anything but yesterday was a very stressful day. That doesn't help. Could have been stress-induced."

"But it's fine. I mean, if it happens in his sleep like that... right?" I ask. 

Jonah and Jeremy share a look. The doctor and nurse know something, but neither want to be the one to answer my question.

"Why don't you get him cleaned up, and then we can talk. I'll make up his bed." Jeremy helps James to his feet. My shaking body isn't strong enough to help him tonight, so Jonah helps me escort James to my bathroom.

We pass Nate, who is still in a sound sleep, and I start a shower for James.

Jonah stays quiet. Whatever type of seizure James had isn't a good one. That much I've caught on to.

Once James is clean and dressed, we walk through my bedroom again. Nate really is passed out. He hasn't budged. Fortunately, the sheet is covering his naked body.

Jeremy has made up the cot, and James lays right back down tiredly. He scoots over wanting me to lay with him, and I will, but first, we need to know more about these seizures. Paul is wide awake now and already starting coffee, knowing falling back to sleep isn't going to happen

Jeremy sighs and gives Jonah a nod.

"Ok. I'm not a neurologist, but I do know the basics." Jeremy begins. "This type of seizure isn't a good one."

"But, like nothing that could harm him right? So long as we keep his body safe when it's happening........right?" I begin to talk a little faster than I should, and it's noticed. What's also noticed is another look Jonah and Jeremy share. "Right??"

"It's possible to die from a seizure during sleep. This is known as Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. SUDEP."

James sits up hearing this, and his eyes, like mine, fill up. My breath hitched in my throat, and my eyes dart from Jeremy to Jonah, speechless.

"SUDEP is rare, ok?" Jonah tries to downplay it, but it's no use. We can see right through him, and he knows it so continues. "But nocturnal seizures are reported to be a risk factor for SUDEP. Serious complication of epilepsy occurs when a person with epilepsy has a seizure during sleep and dies unexpectedly."

"So how do we make sure this doesn't happen again?!" My voice raises, and Maggie hops on the cot to be with me.

"You can't. But you can take steps to minimize the risk of SUDEP." Jonah chimes in and looks to James. "Me and Casey make sure you take your anti-seizure medications every day. Other things we can do is make sure you are sleeping on your side. We can buy a wedge pillow for that for when you sleep alone. We can invest in a seizure monitor as well, though it looks like Maggie here did an excellent job making everyone aware."

"Being alone at night isn't ideal." Jeremy adds. I begin to cry and lay down with James so we are facing each other. He holds on to my so tight it hurts my detoxing body but I don't care. He buries his head in the crook of my neck to hide his face from everyone and cries.

"I'll update his neurologist when the office opens. Try to fall back asleep, OK?" Jonah sees James shake his head.

"Sleep! I never want to fall asleep again! What if I don't wake up?!"

Jeremy, being the therapist in the room, takes over. He tells James how he can't think like that. How no one is guaranteed to wake up anytime they fall asleep. He reminds him of the rarity of it all and calms him down. Jeremy is a good therapist. He knew just what to say to help James.

And eventually, both of us do fall asleep. In each other's arms.

*******

*Nate*

I wake up to an empty bed and roll over. The small alarm clock reads 10:00am. I rarely sleep this late. But I'm a little surprised Julia is out of bed with her detox and all.

I get dressed and walk out of Julia's bedroom. The only people in the living room are Jonah and....Jeremy? Now why the hell is Donovan in Julia's apartment and why is Jonah sitting on the couch next to him chatting over fucking coffee?

I raise a brow at the nurse and scratch the back of my head.

"Mornin?" I say as a question.

"Glad you got some rest. I'll leave you to it. Go down for breakfast soon though." Jeremy stands up and leaves the apartment.

"Leave you to what?" I ask while making myself a cup of tea.

"You missed quite a night, brother."

"Oh God, what now??"

Jonah fills me in.

I stand there, staring at him in shock after hearing about this Awakening tonic-clonic grand mal seizure thing and its link to SUDEP.

"We tried to sugar coat it but Julia could see right through us. James will see his neurologist tomorrow morning so long as we can get out of here. Jeremy thinks it could have been stress induced"

"Christ." I mutter and sit down, dropping my head in my hands. "Julia told me his moods could be off because of the time of year. His kid died on Christmas eve."

"Listen, I hate to bring this up now but...do we have a plan in place for when you go on tour? Does Trisha think he's going to join her? Or-"

"I haven't gotten that far with her. I don't really know what his options are right now though." I take a sip of my tea and Jonah hands me my meds.

"Traveling so much took a toll on James. The headaches while flying, the seizures. To the rest of the world the man looks like a healthy normal guy who just needs help with his coordination but inside there's a lot more going on. His brain is still trying to heal, as well as his emotions. I feel like we're pushing him into a mold he can't fit in."

"Yeah, tell that to Trisha. If she does have her mind  set on James going there will be no changing it." I turn on the TV to make sure no new news has been reported.

"I mean, this is his health we are talking about. This isn't just some bad dream or night terror. Having a seizure in your sleep is a pretty big deal. James knew he will never be able to live alone but this guarantees it." The nurse pauses. "They haven't been dating long at all. I doubt they are that attached to each other. James is more attached to Julia."

"Julia can't take care of him, remember? She can't even be alone herself."

We end the conversation when Paul, Julia and James come in with trays of food. All three look pretty worn out. 

"He's up to speed with everything." Jonah says as Paul hands him a tray of food. Julia and James put their trays on the small kitchen table near the sliders and Maggie follows along. I watch Julia care for James. I watch her peel his orange for him. I watch her shaky hands help him hold his coffee. I watch her wipe the corner of his mouth with a little smile. 

James can't go on tour with us. Trisha's a great caretaker but she is going to be busy with tour. Leslie will make sure of that one. I suppose Casey and Jonah can if he really wanted to go. This is a discussion we will need to have sooner rather than later.

"Looks like things are dying down." Jonah looks up at the TV with a mouthful of food. At the same time he says that, Jeremy knocks on the door before opening.

"Good news, you guys are all free to go. Well, all but Julia." Jeremy nods his head to the TV. "Lockdown has been lifted. Which also means visitors will be allowed during normal visitation hours. Just a forewarning, Nate." He turns to Julia who is actually eating her pancakes without anyone fighting with her. "Bad news is that means you have to get back to your room to finish your detox. You can't detox here."

"What's the difference?" I ask.

"Detox requires twenty-four-hour nursing care for most patients. She can't be alone in here. I let it slide because of not only the number of people here overnight but Jonah was also here. I can't ...um... I can't stay with her. I have too many patients." He fumbles with his answer. In other words, he can't be in the apartment alone with Julia and risk something happening. He is trying to do right by her. I wouldn't want him alone with Julia anyway.

"After breakfast you'll have to head out. I will clean the place up myself. I'm technically not scheduled to work until later this afternoon." Jeremy grabs hold of the bar on the rolling cot and wheels it out of the room.

"Party's over." Julia says with a frown. She liked being around everyone. For a little while it felt like she wasn't even detoxing. It got her mind off of shit and now reality is setting in.  I watch James wipe a tear from her cheek and look away.

*****

It's time to say goodbye and Julia is a mess. Jonah already took James home so they can talk to Trisha about the seizure James had.  I have a feeling tonight is going to be really hard for Julia. She is going to worry about James all night now and it kills her she won't be with him.

I've already visited Cara who is moody as hell today, so it was a short encounter. She's pissed off at the world. At Rita. At pretty much everyone who passes by her room. The reality set in for her and she now knows Rita can never be trusted. Sad it took something like this to happen for Cara to see her true colors but now at least she understands where I'm coming from.

Now I stand in Julia's room holding her against me as she cries.

"Do you want me to have Paul stay here as your bodyguard?" I look over at Paul who stands in the doorway.

"No. I'm fine. Jeremy's not going to do anything to me." She whispers.

 I hate that she has let her guard down around Donovan but he has not made any attempts to be inappropriate towards Julia. I don't believe he will do anything.

 "Plus, I'm at my worst for detox. Paul has dealt with enough from me. I just need to do this and get it over with."

"Ok love." I rest my chin on Julia's head and close my eyes. "I have a studio session later this evening but will come visit you tomorrow. Can you at least charge your phone so I can call you later?"

I feel Julia nod against me. I lean back and tilt her chin up so I can kiss her. And it's the sweetest kiss that makes me not want to leave. But I have to. She needs to get back into her Avalon routine.

And I need to start preparing for tour.

******

*Julia* 

I don't bother going into the cafeteria for lunch. Cara still seems pissed off and is blaming me that her mother left. She's also blaming me for the publicity. Jeremy said some of her "friends" aren't thrilled that I'm the cause of her being exposed to the world. I have never been the popular one here anyway.

But I'm not the cause. Her brother is the cause. Her crazy-ass mother is the cause. I'm just another Avalon patient trying to go through detox. I don't say that to her. 

Like me, her moods are always changing. Yesterday I held the girl in my arms and today she gives me the evil eye whenever she passes by my room.

Jeremy is off until later today, so I have nurse Kendra. She's nice. A single mom in her late twenties who, to me, resembles Kelly Clarkson. I wonder if Kendra can sing. She lets Mike come into my room and eat lunch with me while she does her rounds.

"Where were you all through lockdown?" Mike sits at my desk eating his sandwich. I'm on my bed with my tray of food.

Jeremy didn't tell me what to say about the apartment. It's not really a secret he lives here but do patients know there's more than just his place? Do they know he offered one to me?

Maybe I'll just do what Casey does. I take a bite of my sandwich so I can't answer the question and Mike squints his eyes at me.

"What? I'm hungry." I lie.

"I call bullshit."

I shrug and force myself to eat half of my sandwich.

"You think you're cute. Where the hell did you all go?" He eyes me and I inhale sharply, knowing if I eat anymore I will, in fact, regurgitate it.

"Donovan set us up in another room so no one would be around Nate, that's all." I say nonchalantly. "Why do you even like hanging out in here with me? Look at us. We both look like crap."

"I like the ambience." Mike raises both eyebrows up and down a few times making me roll my eyes.

"Yeah, the mood in this room is so uplifting." I say in sarcasm.

"Better than being out there with all the other crazy people." He snorts and pulls his hair back in a ponytail using one of my hair elastics I gave him. Mike doesn't ask any more about what room we were in and I'm grateful for that.

"You need a shower, 'bro'."

"Take one with me." Mike demands.

"No. Not a good idea. I need to work on not doing that stuff. I need to work on myself." 

"Again, I call bullshit. You had no problems waking me up in the middle of the night a week and a half ago. What changed?"

I slept with my rapist and feel like absolute shit over it. That's what changed.

I keep that thought to myself. It is eating me up inside that I pushed Jeremy's addiction on him to help me forget mine. What a terrible human being I am. I will never forgive myself for that.

"Nothing changed. But it needs to." I bite the inside of my cheek and look away.

"Hollan must be ripped over the news. "Mike says right after Cara and her nurse walk by my room. "I had no idea he even had a sister until I got admitted here."

"Yeah, he wasn't trying to keep his sister hidden, just where she lived. Nate has been adamant on keeping Cara out of the limelight. Now it's all over."

"Well, maybe that's a good thing."

"How so?" I make a funny face. How would this secret told do Cara or Nate any good?

"Maybe it'll stop the stigma surrounded mental health issues. I listened to that guy Jonah talk about what you and Cara have. People make these assumptions that having a mental health illness means they are less than. Like you can't contribute to society or are weaker than the average person. A lot of people won't even acknowledge their issues or get treated because they don't want to look weak. You and Cara are anything but weak."

I look up to meet Mike's piercing brown eyes. "I'm anything but strong."

Right as Mike is about to speak, a nurse walks into the room.

"Michael, you can't be in here." A crease forms in between the woman's eyes as she sees us together.

"Bite me, Brenda."

"My nurse said it was ok. Kendra." I pipe up in Mike's defense.

"I'm pretty sure Kendra doesn't make the rules. Two detox patients should be in their own rooms focusing on their own detox." Brenda is persistent.

"Again, suck my dick sweetheart."

My eyes widen at his disrespect towards to nurse, but she all she does is shake her head and walk away, leaving us alone.

"You really have a way with words." I scoff.

"Wanna fight?" He throws a carrot stick right at me just as nurse Kendra returns from her rounds.

"Sorry guys, guess you have to wrap it up and go back into your room."

Brenda must have given her shit over this simple kind gesture. Whatever. Mike keeps his mouth shut this time but rolls his eyes as he leaves the room. She follows him out leaving me sitting here alone with my thoughts.

That is never a good thing.

*****

*Nate*

By the time Paul and I got home, Jonah had already broken the news to Trisha. Apparently, it wasn't pretty. Trisha doesn't usually cry easily and certainly not in front of people but after hearing about this more severe type of seizure James had she let her emotions take over. Trisha and James may not have been dating long but they have been friends for a while. Longer than I was ever aware of. So of course, tears would be shed.

I think Trisha finally understands how I feel. She had these big plans to show James the world. Travel and experience all tour offers. Those plans most likely aren't going to happen. I just don't see how. But I also don't know what this means for James. I guess he'll go back with his sisters.

Because James didn't sleep much last night, he fell asleep on the couch after lunch this afternoon. Trisha and I decide to take Maggie for her walk so Jonah can have some time with Casey.

"I really don't see how anything changes. He can still come on tour with us. We have TWO nurses, Nate." Trisha pushes on while we walk Maggie around my building. I pull my hat down a little more when I see someone walking our way.

"Maybe you shouldn't have come out here without Paul." Trisha lets out a sigh when the person takes a turn.

"Around my building? I can't walk around my building so the dog can take a piss?" I roll my eyes at Trisha. "I'm fine. Anyways. Did you not hear one thing Jonah said about James's condition?" My accent comes out a little thicker in frustration. I knew Trisha would do this.

"So, we monitor him."

"And what about the flights? The air pressure in the cabin fucked with his healing brain. How quickly you forget about those headaches he experienced. Dr. Giovanni told him he needs to limit-"

"I know what Dr. Giovanni said, ok?!" Trisha snaps and Maggie barks at her. "Sorry. Sorry, it's just ...God, can't ANYTHING go smoothly for us? It's like one big, long bad dream."

Yep, Trish is feeling what I feel. I change the subject to something more positive, so she'll stop thinking about shit.

"You should see the Avalon Apartment Julia is going to have." I begin.

"Yeah, don't you think it's just a LITTLE odd Jeremy would offer something like that to Julia? What's the catch?"

"No catch."

"There's always a catch, Nate. Is she going to be forever indebted to him. Is this just so the guy has access to her whenever he wants? He raped her. Two times. Like one wasn't enough, TWO."

I can't tell Trish what Jonah and I found out about Jeremy. Not that it excuses anything but does help us digest things a little better.

"It's his way of controlling her. Always knowing where she is. Keeping tabs on her." She continues as we round the building to the elevators.

"What's the difference from right now? Her room at the Avalon or a whole apartment at the Avalon?"

"For one thing, nurses and staff everywhere."

"Nurses and staff were everywhere in the hospital. He raped her while I was in the same room drugged up on morphine. He did it right under our nose."

"I think Paul is going to apply to be her full-time bodyguard. Are you going to let him do that??" Trisha asks before pushing the elevator button. "That means we will have to hire a new bodyguard for you and start all over. Plus, that's a huge commitment on Paul. He'd be fucking living with Moretti. At the motherfucking Avalon!" Trisha talks like a trucker sometimes with that mouth of hers. She clearly doesn't want Paul to stay behind. Trisha wants everything to be how it used to be. I just don't see that happening.

"Can we just focus on one thing at a time? What Paul does will be his decision. I'm not going to force him on anything. I will pay him to be my bodyguard or pay him to be Julia's. He chose this lifestyle and job and knows what it entails."

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing." I hit the elevator button myself. "Let's just figure out what to do with Gallo first and go from there."

There's a moment where we don't say anything to each other and Maggie just sits there looking up at us.

"I need you to do me a favor though....." I throw an evil smirk Trisha's way.

******