*Nate*

I've never felt so out of control in my life. Ok, well, that's clearly a big fat lie. Even still, between missing Julia... the real Julia, not detox Julia, Rita almost causing serious damage to Julia's health, James and his own struggles and Trisha up my ass all the time, I feel like all control has gone out the window.

It doesn't help I'm horny as all hell with no relief in sight. If I were a drinking man, you'd see me in the back room of Sullivan's Tap with Natalie by now.

Hearing Trisha and James in his room late at night is not helping matters.

I'm the only one awake in the living room. Even Jonah has called it a night. I think to be with Casey, which means it's just me and Paul left without partners tonight, and I don't swing that way.

There's crap for TV tonight. It's raining, so I can't sit out on the balcony, and hearing the way James is apparently pleasing Trish with God knows whatever he is doing, I'm in rare form.

I try texting Jules, but all my texts go unanswered. She's never been much of a cell phone person, but I swear the thing is in a drawer somewhere not turned on. Julia is allowed to have her phone, she chooses not to bother with it.

So instead of sex I let my mind wander, which is never a good thing.

Jules isn't coming on tour with me. No matter how much I try to convince myself she is, deep down, I don't think she even wants to go. She'll be at the Avalon full time. I hate even thinking about that, more so now with Rita detoxing there.

Sounds like Paul is staying behind to be her bodyguard thanks to Donovan living at the Avalon, though knock on wood, the jackass has been behaving. Maybe he found a girlfriend, who knows.

I have no clue what James plans on doing, aside from breaking the bed in there right now.

Our village is broken into pieces, and I feel so alone. I really thought I could make it work. I really thought everyone would be happy and healthy and enjoy traveling the world with me.  I really thought SO many things that have now fallen through my fingers.

I look up at the ceiling and feel so fucking lost right now. I can't drink. I can't drive with my suspended license. Hell, I can't even feed my face with shitty food if I wanted to. I'd probably die of a sudden heart attack from one friggen French fry for all I know.

"Fuck this." I throw a pillow at James's door and head to bed.

My only solution is jacking off to thoughts of Julia before finally passing the hell out.

Ten minutes with no real relief and still wide awake. It's now after midnight when my bedroom door opens.

"Is that you throwing pillows at the door, Mr. Hollan?" Trish whispers as she walks into the dark room.

"Yeah. New rule. No more sex in my house unless it's with me."

"You're funny. I'm using your shower."

"Of course you are...." I put my pillow over my face in hopes I will suffocate myself to sleep while Trisha quietly makes herself at home in my bathroom.

I try not to think of her naked right now but kind of hard when she's just feet away in my shower. I'm never going to get any sweet relief or sleep tonight.

"Fucking hell." I toss and turn in my bed with an erection the size of the Eiffel Tower.

"You're STILL awake?!" Trisha keeps the bathroom light off when she opens the door, but notices sleep is not happening for me. She comes in wearing a long t- shirt and her hair in a messy bun and decides to plop right on my side of the bed.

"Yeah, you're asking for trouble if you think you're gonna lay in here, angel." I groan from under the pillow.

"You're moody tonight." She is really fucking getting under the covers right now?

"I'm pretty sure you're in the wrong bed, Goldilocks." I grumble.

"What...I can no longer hang with my best friend, now?" She smirks in the darkness.

"Not after midnight with me sporting a hard on, princess."

I can't see much especially with a pillow over my face, but I can feel just fine. So, when Trisha moves in closer and I feel her perfectly manicured fingers gently touch my raging hard on over my underwear, my breath hitches.

"Jesus Christ, Playboy. Take care of that monster." She chuckles, but her fingers are still teasing me with her touch. She drags her nails up and down my length so softly I can barely stand it.

"I tried. No luck. Take care of it for me." I tease, but I know Trisha. If I ask for help with ANYTHING, she's right there for me.

"You're cute, but I'm with James, remember?" She whispers, and I can feel her breath against my neck, which makes my dick twitch against her fingers.

"You mean the man in love with Moretti?"

"Yeah, that guy." Trisha sighs.

"Did you remember to untie him when you were done with him, or is he still bound up like a prisoner in there?" I joke but it backfires.

"Oh, I tied him up all right. He loves it. But yes, I let him free. He's passed out."

"So, you've come to torture me?" I cock a brow at her when she removes my pillow, and her lips barely brush against my neck. "Trish, seriously. What are you doing?"

"I'm wide awake and there's no way you will get any sleep with that hard on."

Trisha begins kissing my neck and stroking me over the thin fabric of my boxers.

This is very out of character for her. When Trisha is dating someone, she makes herself off limits to me. She's a very loyal woman. So, what is it about James that makes Trisha still find my bed? Is it the fact she really does believe he is in love with another woman?

I'm too riled up to be stupid and ruin this by all my questions. Instead, I close my eyes and give in to the moment.

And when Trisha lowers herself, so her mouth is right where I need it to be, I waste no time pushing down my underwear.

The second I'm in her mouth I gasp loudly. The sensation overwhelms me. There's no more teasing. Trisha knows I'm right at the brink of losing my mind over here so takes me in fully and bobs her head faster. Both her hands are holding me and pulling at me in unison with her mouth and both my hands grip the sheet under me from the tension.

"Fuck, you're so good to me." I groan. It doesn't take me long at all tonight and come undone within only a few minutes.

"Holy shit, Trish." My muscles relax into the mattress, and I let out a sigh of relief which makes Trisha laugh.

She crawls back up and rests her head on my chest. I wrap an arm around her and close my eyes.

"Can I ask why you did that for me, for real, doll?"

These women in my life are all crazy! She's literally has her boyfriend in the other room.

I don't recall her answering me and fall asleep within seconds after.

******

*Julia*

"You're still not sleeping, huh?" Mike stands in my doorway. I'm not even in my bed and it's two in the morning. Instead, I'm sitting up in the chair with a blanket wrapped around me like I'm in a cocoon, shaking and detoxing.

"Neither are you." I look up at the man. His hair is tied back in a man bun and away from his face. Mike really is a drop-dead gorgeous man who should be on covers of magazines, not a heroin addict at The Avalon. It's funny how life works.

"I ended up sleeping half the day away. They let me cuz of my detox. But I heard about the stunt Rita Hollan pulled on you. Sorry. I should have been here watching over shit."

Mike comes into the room and sits on the edge of my desk with his arms crossed. I wonder if the marks on his arms from drug use will ever go away.

"She's certifiable. Kind of why I can't sleep. What if she does something like that again? I don't know if I'm strong enough."

"She won't. I heard doctors talking out in the hall. She may get transferred out. But they are trying to stay hush and not draw attention to The Avalon because it looks like someone didn't do their job. Someone was slacking enough, so Rita was able to hoard meds."

"Cara will murder me if I'm the reason her mom gets sent away." I stare ahead dry as the Sahara with no tears left to produce.

"I'll make sure no Hollans hurt you." Mike scoffs. Is he talking about Rita and Cara, or does he have some kind of beef with Nate? I can't read Mike. He's like Paul. Trained well to show no emotion. Unreadable. So I change the subject.

"What's going to happen once you finish detox here?" I keep my eyes staring at the nothing ahead.

"I'm stuck here for a trillion- and one-hours' worth of substance abuse programs per my life parole." Mike answers like this doesn't affect him.

"LIFE parole?!" My eyes widen and I turn to the felon. "SERIOUSLY?"

"Something like that. I held up a bank Julia. I'm lucky I'm not incarcerated. I'll have my work cut out for me to make sure I never go behind bars." 

I can see his eyes sadden just thinking about the mistakes he made for his addiction. Amazing how substance abuse can drag you down to do unthinkable things.

"What about you? When you are done detoxing are you really gonna live in this dump forever or travel the world with your fiancé?"

Yep. I was an idiot to assume I couldn't produce tears. My face quickly contorts, and I bury my face in my knees I'm currently holding against my chest to stay warm. Mike is, for good reason, completely caught off-guard with my sudden change of emotions and walks over to my chair. Without hesitation, he leans into the side of me and wraps his arms around me.

I feel so lost. So depressed and hopeless with so much uncertainty of what will happen next. I'm not good at making decisions. Not even small ones. And because of that, not having a solid plan for my life moving forward scares the hell out of me.

"Tell me what to do!" I cry out. I let it all out on this stranger after holding it in for so long. I wasn't going to burden James with any of my own problems or concerns. He's dealing with enough right now. I can't talk to Nate about it. He's just going to say to go on tour with him and he'll figure the rest out. Until he gets busy with work and doesn't have time to address my real problems. My mental instability. My addiction. Everything that makes me...me.

I'm sure as hell not asking Jeremy. He probably has some shrine of me he lights candles to in a hidden room somewhere.

So I turn to this guy. It would be him or Paul. And Paul isn't here right now at two in the morning, is he?

"Me? You want ME to tell you what to do? I don't think you will want to take any advice from me, lady." He laughs but still embraces me to help me stop crying.

I'm so alone in this.

******

*Nate*

When I wake up, I'm alone in my bed. Trisha was just trying to help me get some sleep. She probably left the minute I passed out for all I know. The first thing I do is check my phone, like I do every morning, to see if Julia responded to my text. No surprise she didn't get back to me. 

What I do see is a picture of my mother. My mother and an old picture of my sister. ALL over the internet.

"Shit." I sit up in bed and grab my chest, feeling the pain from the sudden movement. "SHIT!"

*Hollywood Headliners*

Nate Hollan's family is not all it's cracked up to be. 

Read how the multimillion-dollar heartthrob's mother and sister are both in the same mental health and detox facility as his fiancé, America's Voice winner, Julia Moretti. Click for more details on Moretti's past life before becoming contestant and love interest of Hollan. 

Will Nate Hollan be next? What else is the superstar dealing with in his personal life that could affect his next leg of the Around The World tour?

***

I don't bother reading the article. I rush out of bed, throw my sweatpants on and head to the living room to find Trisha.

It's nine in the morning and she is already pacing around the large apartment on the phone with Elliott. Jonah, Cara, Paul and James are all watching my life unfold on the news. Even the fucking dog is looking up at the TV screen.

My personal life. My hidden life. My sister's life. Now displayed for the entire world to see. Everything I've worked so hard to keep under wraps. All the years spent doing anything and everything to make sure Cara was never in the limelight. For nothing.

 It all got leaked out.

My whole world is falling apart.

******

*Julia*

I wake up to commotion, which isn't unusual here, but the British voice is unmistakable. I fell asleep in the chair bundled on my blanket and Mike is no longer in here. I must have cried myself to sleep last night. I probably freaked the poor man out. I get up off my chair and head to the door to see what is going on.

Cara is in the hallway freaking out... like really freaking out and she's glaring my way as Jeremy and a couple of nurses hold her back. What the hell did I do? I just woke up! I look around wondering if it's me she's really targeting and notice that everyone in the hall is staring at me.

 Something is up. Something I don't know about.

"Julia, get back in your room please. We've got this." Jeremy says calmly.

"No you don't 'got this'. She ruined my life. My brother's life! I was just getting to know my mom again." Cara wails. She cries hard like I do and it breaks me. She cries like a child missing her mother like I cry missing Danny. A heart wrenching cry that will break the strongest man to pieces.

"Cara, what are you talking about? I've ruined your life. Your brother's life. Your mom? I don't understand what's happening here." I walk closer to the girl even though Jeremy told me to go back in my room. The nurse holds her back but doesn't comfort her in any way. Can't they see that she's hurting emotionally?

"Of course you don't. You never get it. Everything is always about you! God if you could only see the damage you've done! I was just getting close to her! now who knows when I will ever see her again!!!" Cara drops to her knees and covers her face with her eyes.

I run over to her not caring about the nurse or Jeremy right now. I sit on the floor in the middle of the hallway, scoop her into my arms and hold her like she needs...because apparently nobody else is catching on that Cara needs somebody to take care of her. I don't know what happened. I don't know if I'll ever know what happened, but it sounds like Rita is gone. Rita is gone and Cara is devastated.

Cara grabs on to me so tight like I'm preventing her from drowning. She buried her face in my chest and sobs this excruciating, painful sob just like I do. Cara does a lot of the same things I do. She loves hard and feels hard and she falls hard just like me.

"Shhh. It's ok." I whisper in her ear and rock her from side to side while holding her in my lap on the ground just like Nate would. "It's okay, Cara. I've got ya. You're ok."

All eyes are on us but neither Jeremy nor the nurse interrupts me now.  I hold the fragile girl in my arms for so long they burn, and my body shakes from my own detox, but I continue to console her. Eventually, after 20 minutes or more, Nate's sister begins to calm down. Her cries turned to soft whispers then her body falls limp against me as she cries herself to exhaustion.

Just like I do.

"OK I've got her." Jeremy picks up the sleeping girl and the nurse helps me to my shaky feet. I watch as he carries her back to her room, and I follow behind wondering what the hell just happened out in that hallway. He gently puts the blanket over sleeping Cara, and she curls into a ball...

Just like I do.

I look around and notice her room is a complete disaster- like she tore it apart in a fit of rage. Clothes are strewn all over her room. Her dresser drawers are open. Her posters are torn off her wall. A chair looks like it's been thrown across the room and has broken which the nurse quickly pulls out to throw away before anybody gets any ideas to cause harm with it. My eyes are wide as I look around at the things that she's destroyed. God, she is just like me.

Is this why Nate has such a soft spot for me? Do I remind him of his sister? Somebody he can't take care of so he's proving a point by taking care of me? I push that thought to the back of my head and look up at Jeremy. He takes me by the arm in escorts me out of the room.

"Come on we'll talk privately in your room about what happened."

But Jeremy doesn't need to explain anything because as we pass by the rec room to get to my room I see the TV. I see what's unfolding on the news right before my eyes. Everything that Nate has protected so hard for so long is now for the entire world to know.

I clasped my mouth with my hands in shock as I watched the reporters here, right outside the Avalon, live. Talking about all of our problems. Rehashing my life and all of my mistakes and now adding on Cara and her mother be in residence of the Avalon for detox and mental health issues. Just like me.

"Oh my god!" I screech. "This can't be happening! I need to call Nate!"

"Actually, he's on his way. He was in a meeting with his publicist and producer. We are now setting up bodyguards so that he can get into the building through a back door. But Julia, this is all over the news. Nobody knows how it happened or where your mother even is. She left in the middle of the night at some point. Took all of her stuff and some of Cara's jewelry her brother had given her for her birthday. When Cara found out this morning, she went hysterical as to be expected. And when she cried in your arms..." Jeremy pauses. "You are the first person to calm her down without giving her medication to sedate her. That has never happened before. We were in the process of calling the pharmacy to get her medication to calm her down when you came out of your bedroom."

I don't know what to say to that, so I say nothing at all. We continue walking down back to my room, but my brain is running in circles at what must be going on in Cara's head. In Nate's head.

I have a feeling Nate's mother went to the reporters herself. I wouldn't put it past Rita. I wouldn't put anything past Rita now. She would do unthinkable things to hurt the people she loves. Hell, she would do anything to hurt people who get in her way. People like me. She knows this hurts me because anything that hurts to Nate hurts me too.

"Why don't you grab your stuff and go take a shower. I am not sure if they will want a press conference or anything. I'm not sure how any of this works to be honest, but you should be prepared." Jeremy turns around and glances back at me. I don't even realize I'm crying. I'm not just crying I'm standing in the middle of the hallway hyperventilating over this news.

 What a way to wake up in the morning.

"Hey." Jeremy says softly. He puts both hands on my shoulder and looks down at me. "It's gonna be ok. It'll all get figured out. Cara is fine and she's safe... and to be honest I don't think anybody is really going to care about wherever Rita went so long as she's not near Cara, okay?"

"None of this was supposed to come out to the public!!" I cry. "Nate has tried so hard for years to make sure Cara was safe and not in the limelight. This media attention is going to kill him!"

Jeremy's pager goes off at the same time a bunch of bodyguards come through the front doors of the Avalon some look familiar to me and some do not which means some of these are Nate's personal bodyguards one of them being Evan Schofield and other being Paul who rushes to me and takes over.

It's overwhelming at the number of bodyguards that surround just this wing of the facility because of me and Cara. And Nate being on the way.

"I'll stay with Moretti. You," Paul turns to Evan and then Jeremy, "Show Mr. Scofield where Cara's room is so he can guard her door."

Jeremy does exactly what Paul says without any hesitation and Paul walks me back to my room.

"What's going on how come so many bodyguards just for this?" I question.

 "Rita Hollan has become a threat to Nate and his sister. Julia, you have no idea what this lady is capable of... and I think she might be back to using."

"Overnight?? She just left!"

 "Yeah." Paul sighs. "I don't think she has been sober since the moment she walked into this facility. People have their ways if they really want to get what they need, and I think she was getting her fix while she was in here the short time she was in here. She's the one who went to the press and leaked out this information that much I know. I just have a feeling it had to have been her. It wouldn't be the first time that Rita has pulled this shit before which is why Nate doesn't want her around Cara.' He rambles. Paul....Paul rambles. "Cara will never understand because she wants a mom. She wants something Rita can't be. Listen, what were you about to do? I'll follow you to your session or wherever it was you were going."

Hearing Paul talked this much stuns me for a moment and I find myself staring at him.

"Moretti...." He gives me a look.

 "Um, yeah. Actually, I was going to take a shower. Jeremy told me to be prepared in case I need to speak in front of people."

 "OK, grab your stuff then. I'll guard your bathroom door." 

"When Cara wakes up, she's going to freak out seeing Evan. She doesn't know him, and she doesn't really know what's happening. She's too upset hearing that her mom left." I say while grabbing my toiletry bag and clean clothes out of my dresser.

 "Don't worry, he'll take care of it. He's good. He has a lot of patience... more than I do. Cara will be fine."

Will she though? If she is anything like me, which I think she is after seeing her this morning, she will be anything but fine.

 This place will never be the same. Sure, celebrities come in and out of the Avalon all the time, but Nate is more than just some celebrity. He's America's heartthrob. Nate Hollan is bigger than Harry Styles, Taylor Swift. He's bigger than Cristiano Ronaldo, Lionel Messi. He's bigger than Steven Spielberg, Michael Jordan. He's the guy everybody around the whole world loves and adores and wants to be like. Everybody wants to know all about his life and his family- especially his little sister.

I knew Rita was trouble, but I always thought Nate was somewhat over exaggerating when he talked about his mother. Now, as I look around at the number of bodyguards strewn throughout this building because of Rita Hollan I know exactly what Nate means.

When it comes to the limelight and the press Rita has nothing to lose. Her life is already in the dumps so why not bring everybody around her down with her? Let the whole world know everybody's secrets. Now people know when Nate Hollan's sister lives.

And when it comes to people's sobriety, Rita doesn't think twice to use it against them like she did to me. She could do the same exact thing to Cara or Nate.

Rita is more than trouble.

Rita Hollan is dangerous.

******