*Julia*

"I need a moment, ok? My God." I pull the covers over my head, regretting all of my life's decisions. Especially last night's decision. Sleeping with Jeremy was the worst thing I have done in a while. And I've done some shitty things.

I'm a worthless piece of shit. After I had sex with Jeremy, he buried his head in my neck and cried. He cried because he gave in to his addiction after being sober for so long. I held him until he calmed down. I apologized to him for tempting him. For using him. His addiction helped me escape from mine. It was all me. It was all my fault. He may be a rotten human being for the things he's done to me but I'm a rotten human being for doing what I just did to him.

And now, I just need to pause life for a moment. I need the director to yell "Cut!" To give me a breather. Because I'm not sure whether I'm coming or going these days, and my world has been turned upside down.

"She's in rare form today." Mike says as Jeremy comes in the room.

"Julia. It's almost 10:00 am. You need to eat something so you can take your medications." Jeremy states.

"Let me sleep!" I yell with my face shoved in my pillow.

"Can you give us a minute, Michael?" Jeremy asks Mike, and he laughs obnoxiously.

"Not a chance in hell." Mike scoffs. Right. I should be afraid of this man. Not having sex with him.

"Just.... give me five more minutes, ok? I will eat. I promise." I roll away so I'm practically up against the wall, trying to stop my body from shaking. I'm trying to go back to sleep so my muscles no longer ache. Trying to not think of the nausea creeping in just thinking about attempting to eat.

"Ok. I will bring your food to you. You, however, need to go eat." Jeremy turns to Mike and follows him out, closing the door behind him.

The morning goes by, and I do eat like I promised. Then, I got sick and needed to be put on Zofran for my nausea.

No one visits me today. Not James. Not Nate. Hell, not even Paul checks in on me.

Everyone is busy living life while I'm busy feeling like death. Once again it's a reminder of how I'm in this alone.

It's midafternoon and I skipped my substance abuse group session, too dizzy and sick to get out of bed. Mike is in the same group session as me and was able to stomach sitting through the meeting so while sitting alone in my room, Jeremy paid me a visit. I'm no longer nervous when he is near me. Obviously.

"Can we talk about last night?" He sits on the chair next to my bed, in doctor mode. Completely professional in his light blue shirt, darker blue tie and khaki pants with sneakers on as always, reminding me he's practically just a kid. A dangerous kid. Yes, I think a 31-year-old is a kid sometimes.

"There's nothing to talk about. I used you and I'm sorry. That should have never happened." I fidget with my hands. Me. I'M saying sorry to Jeremy Donovan. The man who raped me. There is something seriously wrong with my brain these days and it's concerning. As my doctor, how the hell is HE not concerned? Because he benefited from my poor actions? Does that just erase the bad that was done?

"We can never do that again." Jeremy rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"It won't happen again. I know you're some kind of sex addict or something." I blurt out and Jeremy frowns and knits his brows.

"I'm not a sex addict, Julia." He takes offense. 

"Sorry. Rapist."

 I AM in rare form today.

Jeremy's face reddens and he looks down at the floor, with no further comments.

"Sorry. I just don't feel good." I apologize, yet again, and lay down in bed. Something I seem to do a lot lately.

"No visitors today?" Jeremy gives me a disheartened look. I shrug while staring up at the ceiling.

"Nope. Everyone's busy." My eyes begin to water. Jeremy notices it straight away.

"You're falling into a depression."

"Gee, ya think??" I close my eyes and turn to face the wall, so Jeremy doesn't see my tears.

"Things will get better for you, Julia. Once you're out of detox we can reevaluate your meds and see what needs to be tweaked."

"Then what? Huh? Then what changes? Nothing. I'm still here. I'm still barely living my life. I have no one. At least when I had James to take care of, I felt productive. But he's with Trisha now. I'm sure she's taking great care of him." I say to the wall with sarcasm. I can't even think of the two of them together. Bad enough I've had to think of Nate and Trisha together, I can't think of James and Trisha together. My brain can't handle it.

"I can help you find a job if you like. Even a small part time job that would work around your Avalon schedule and your therapy." Jeremy is trying to be positive but it's falling on deaf ears today. I continue on my own rant.

"Nate's going to go on tour and leave me behind. James will probably go with them. Everyone I love leaves me. In one form or another. My son. My husband..." My words trail off. "You know what? It doesn't even matter. I'm really tired. Can you go now?" I pull the covers up to my shoulders ready to shut down.

"Yeah, ok." He says softly. "I'll let you rest."

I close my eyes tight as he leaves my room and shuts the door behind him.

Now I have plenty of time to cry the day away.

******

*Nate*

I spent the morning and half of the afternoon at my routine cardiologist appointment. After all the basic tests my doctor has no new news for me. No news is good news. I still need to limit my stress, and I almost laughed at my doctor.

"Tell me how they'd like me to limit my stress." I scoff on the ride home. Jonah pats my shoulder, and I've learned he does that when he doesn't have an answer for me.  My phone rings and I pull it out to see who is calling. 

"Fuckin Donovan." I sigh.

"Want me to answer for you? You know, the whole 'limit stress' thing?" Jonah raises a brow at me, but I shake my head no and answer the call.

"Yeah..."

"Hey Nate. Any chance someone is coming to visit Julia today?" Jeremy speaks in a quiet voice which makes me wonder if he is right outside her door.

"I was going to this morning, but my cardiologist appointment ran late. Probably won't get there today." I admit then realize it's been a few days since I've gone to visit Julia. Last time I was there she shut down on me. Having Rita at the Avalon isn't helping matters. To be completely honest, the last person I want to deal with is Rita on top of everything else.

Come to think of it. I don't think James has gone to visit Julia in a few days either. They haven't really been on the best of terms she Julia found out about James and Trisha, and I have a feeling Trish's not going to offer to bring James to see Julia.

"She's pretty down and out. It's been days since anyone has checked up on her." Jeremy lets out a sigh when the sound of his pager goes off. "I gotta go. If you have time today... or James... she could really use some company."

And just like that, Donovan hangs up. Jonah could hear the conversation clearly and pinches the tension between his eyes.

"This is not helping with your stress. She's in the middle of detox. You know you need to see her, but you know what it will be like."

"Well aware."

The rest of the car ride is silent but when we get up to my apartment, it's pure chaos.

Casey is cleaning up food off the floor with Maggie's help. Trisha and Paul are MIA, but James is sitting at the dining room table with his head in his hands.

"What happened?!" Jonah rushes to Casey and notices a mug smashed on the floor in pieces. "Jesus. Bring the dog in the other room, I'll clean this."

"He just...I don't know. He freaked out on me!" She ticks her head to James, who is in tears. This is odd for James.

"James, what's going on?" I put a hand on his shoulder, but he flinches and shakes his head. Ok. No physical contact. Noted.

"I don't know, ok?!" James snaps.

"Not a good enough answer, Gallo." I sit next to him while Jonah sweeps up the mess.

"No, really. I don't know! I just ... like, she said, I freaked out on her. I lost my temper. I'm sorry."

Jonah and I share a look. This is way out of character. Sure, James would do this stuff when he couldn't speak and was frustrated, but he hasn't had an outburst since his speech returned.

"Do you feel like you're losing your temper more than usual?" Jonah asks while cleaning up the mess.

"Just the last few days." He explains. I have noticed he has been more irritable this week, but I thought it was because of Julia.

"Why didn't you tell someone?" I reprimand him like he's a toddler and he glares at me. James is in no mood.

"Delayed onset." Jonah drops his shoulders. Neither James nor I know what the hell he is talking about. It's like Jonah is fucking Google or something. He goes off on this medical tangent leaving the rest of us poor stupid folks staring at him like he has two heads. He notices right away after explaining and rewords it all.

"While some mood changes may be immediate post- brain surgery, emotional difficulties and other symptoms can sometimes appear later in the recovery process. Even a year after surgery or longer." Jonah finishes cleaning up the food and stands up to continue his talk. "You were disappointed the other day when your Neurologist said this could be the extent of your recovery. You've been pushing yourself harder since then, James. Putting your brain on overdrive with doubling up your PT and coordination exercises. Were you unable to do something during lunch that you normally could do?"

James wipes his face and nods. "I kept dropping my fork."

"So, you got frustrated. Your brain is tired. It needs rest. Recovery takes time James. Healing takes time."

James frowns hearing this and suddenly bursts into tears out of nowhere. "Can I see Julia today?" He cries this heart wrenching cry like a child who misses their parent or something. I've never seen James unstable to this extent. Neither has Jonah. The quick shift in moods is alarming.

"Yeah. Ok. I can take you." I offer.

"You can't drive. Stay here and eat. I'll take him. I want to check in on Julia anyway." Jonah stands up and dumps the mess in the dustpan in the trash.

Once they leave, I check on Casey who took the dog to James's room.

"Hey. You good in here? Jonah took James to go see Julia."

"Without Maggie? That's not like him." Casey wipes her eyes. Crying, just like Julia. I sit next to Mini-Julia on the couch and Maggie jumps on my lap.

"Why are we crying?"

"I felt so bad. James was trying so hard, and nothing was working for him. Then he got frustrated and just wanted Julia. I tried to tell him we could go after lunch, but he was so upset and not understanding me. He just wanted Julia. He just freaked out. It was like how he was before he could speak."

"Yeah, Jonah said that could happen from time to time." I explain. "He said it was called Delayed Onset."

"Trisha thinks James will be ok to go on tour with everyone. But without Julia, I don't know, Nate. I don't think he will do well without her."

I have no idea what's going to happen now. James isn't attached to Trisha like he is to Julia. And Julia is nowhere near ready for traveling.

******

*Julia*

I heard Jeremy call Nate while outside my bedroom door. I don't need a pity visit. If anyone wanted to spend time with me, they would have made the effort. It's fine. I don't want to spend time with me either. So, when Jonah decides to bring James by, I know it's only because Nate told them to visit me. 

I hear Jeremy update Jonah outside my door and can smell James's addicting scent of his cologne as he sits down on the chair. But I don't bother turning around.

"Are you awake?" James asks and receives silence in return, but he continues to talk while Jonah is out in the hall. "I miss you. I miss everything about you."

I keep my eyes closed while I listen to his voice.

"I know you're mad at me for being with Trisha. I get it. I just miss my best friend Julia. And now," He sniffs. "I feel like I'm losing my mind. Something's not right with me, babe. I keep flipping out on everyone at home."

I flip over to see James with his head in his fists in his eyes holding back tears. He doesn't see me yet so keeps on talking.

"It's like I can't control these outbursts. I don't know what's happening."

"Hey. C'mere." I tap his thigh before pushing myself up against the wall to give James room. He knows what I want. He kicks off his sneakers and climbs right into bed with me. I lay on my side, and he mirrors me while I stroke his tear-stained cheek.

"I can't control my moods." James frowns. 

"Did you talk to Jonah about this?" 

"Yeah. He had a name for it. Delayed Onset. He thinks I'm pushing myself too hard."

"Are you?"

"I mean.... this can't be it for me! What the neurologist said. I'm not-"

"Wait. When did you have a neurologist appointment? You never told me you had a follow up. What did Dr. Giovanni say?" I talk fast, too fast and feel a pit in my stomach that James didn't tell me how his appointment went. We tell each other everything. 

Well.

Not everything.

I certainly don't think I can tell him what I did last night.

"You've been a little preoccupied here with your detox and then you were mad with the whole Trisha thing. Sorry." James puts his hand over mine that is resting on his face, now feeling bad he didn't keep me in the loop.

"H-he said I could continue to recover but to be prepared if this is as far as my recovery goes. I can't accept that, Julia. I just can't!" Like always, it's excruciating to witness James cry. The tears roll down his cheeks so fast it breaks me.

"So, you've been pushing yourself harder with your PT and stuff. To prove you can recover more?"

"Pretty much." James responds. I pull him in against my shaking body and wrap my arms around him. His body heat soothes my chills while my embrace soothes his tears. It's just what we both needed.

Then I feel that familiar tug of guilt. I should tell James what I did. He just opened up to me big time with his struggles, but I don't know if he will understand this one. Because what I've done...well...I'm pretty sure has NEVER been done by ANY woman who has been raped in the history of rape.

But I just can't bring myself to do it.

Instead, I cry.

I cry in my best friend's arms and let the awful thing I did eat away at my soul.

******

*Nate*

"Where is everyone?" Trisha asks once her and Paul are home. Casey and I are binge watching N.C.I.S. with Maggie right between us on the couch. The dog sprawls out so head is on my lap and tail wags in Casey's face every once in a while.

"Where have YOU been? You missed an eventful day." I look back to see Trisha holding up two bags of chinese food. "That shit will give you a heart attack."

"Says the man who eats lettuce all day and has heart attacks. Bite me." She scoffs and starts laying out the food on the counter for everyone. Paul plops down on the other end of the sectional and closes his eyes.

"Are you guys having a secret affair again or are you back to being her bodyguard?" I squint at Paul and then look back at Trisha to see if I can read her better. She glares at Paul but knows whatever it is she doesn't want him to tell me is going to be told.

"Apparently she still needs a bodyguard or she makes wrong choices in life." He says like she's a five-year-old.

"Paul." Trisha clenches her jaw tight. "Anyway, what happened today that was so eventful?"

"Don't change the subject." I pause the TV and Casey lets out a slight huff. Too bad, I pay the cable bill. Well, technically Trisha pays it with my money. I think...  I don't know. Someone pays it though.

"She's been in contact with Dave."

"WHAT?!" I snap my head back to Trisha again who turns her back and busies herself instead of making eye contact. 

"Everyone has their bad addictions." Casey says under her breath while shaking her head. "C'mon Maggie. Wanna go out?" She escapes any drama by bringing the dog outside for a walk. Her and Jonah are made for each other. Though so long as the drama isn't his, Jonah would usually stay and enjoy the show.

It's Paul who tells me all about Trisha's dumb encounter with Dave. Good thing she doesn't step foot in the Avalon, but I swear to God if I see that guy in one of my AA meetings I may have to sick James on him. 

I then go ahead and tell them about James's mood swings today, but Trisha doesn't seem surprised. At first, she says nothing and feeds her face with chinese food at the kitchen island and says nothing. It's not until I get up and go over there to question her does she fill me in.

"Why aren't you more surprised by hearing this?"

"He's been like that to me a few times this week, that's all.  I told Jonah who then began to do some research on it. I just assumed because him and Julia are giving each other the silent treatment." She pushes over a plastic see-through take-out container that has salmon, rice and broccoli in it. "I stopped off at Quin's Market for you. I knew you wouldn't eat the chinese food."

"Thanks." I accept the dinner and sit down next to her. "It's more than Julia. He's pushing himself to recover more. That's what Jonah said at least.  His brain is overtired and he's not resting it enough to let it heal on its own. He's been doubling up on his PT workouts and exhausting himself to the point he is back to getting frustrated over every little thing."

"I believe it. That's James for ya. Always aiming for perfection." She sighs like this is no big deal and continues eating her damn Chinese food.

"Aren't you the least bit concerned about this mood change in him? He's your fucking boyfriend, isn't he?"

"I'm sure once we go on tour things will settle down for him." She shrugs.

"Tour? How can you be thinking about tour right now? One of our own is in a fucking mental hospital detoxing and another is having these unexplained outbursts from his brain injuries. You're always all over me about every little thing. How are you not all over anyone else about shit going on with them?"

"Cuz you're you, Nate. I will always worry more about you. You do stupid shit."

"Says the woman who talks to her abusive Ex boyfriend." Paul chimes in.

"Cut it out, both of you. I barely talked to him. I said I was happy he was getting the help he needs or some shit, ok? That's it. He's still a person. A person who is trying to get help for his issues. Which reminds me, playboy. You need to submit your hours of AA in to your 'sponsor' per your DUI. Your sponsor is Jonah, right? You should have all that stuff settled before tour."

Oh My God. If this woman brings up tour one more time, I'm jumping off the balcony Julia style. I'm just going to lean right over and let myself go. Trisha is driving me nuts tonight. I say nothing, finish eating and drag Paul to bring me to the Avalon to see Jules. 

*****

*Julia*

I console my best friend and he consoles me right back. I don't tell him about sleeping with Jeremy. I can't bring myself to do it. Every time I tried, I felt sick to my stomach and chickened out. All I know is what I did with Jeremy can never happen again. Ever.

Eventually my detox nausea got the best of me. James had to leave so the nurse could take care of me after I got sick on my way to the bathroom. I'm finally showered, changed and back in bed when who pays me a visit of all people? Fucking Rita Hollan.

"You're in rough shape." The tall blonde woman leans against my doorway with a conniving smile. She's well into her own detox, which looks much more severe than my own, yet she is still beautiful. "I'll never understand what my son saw in you." 

"Do you need something from me or just bored, Rita?" I have no patience or politeness in me today.

"Just thought you'd benefit from these more than me. I don't take this shit." Rita waltzes in and opens her hand, emptying the contents onto my tray next to my untouched dinner. She laughs and heads back out into the hall. "You'll always be an addict."

I look at what Rita put on my tray and back up to see her walking away.

4 small white pills. The same white pills that got me into this mess in the first place. They give the detox patients Ativan to help with their symptoms, and Rita thought it would be fun to hoard hers and torture me instead.

She's worse of a human than I thought. She really doesn't want me with Nate. She wants me here at the Avalon forever and is making it known.

I look at my addiction and think of how Nate's mom is an awful person. I stare down at the pills and feel myself begin to sweat.

I need someone to come in.

I need someone to take the pills away from me.

I need someone to press pause on this moment and remove them before hitting the play button. Before I do something stupid. Something else I will later regret.

My chest feels tight as my heart pounds harder than it should. I can hear it beating heavily in my ears.

Someone please come in.

Anyone.

"Hey." Jeremy is the one to break my focus. He studies my face with confusion. "What's going on?"

"She just...... She just came in here!" I begin to cry.

"Who?"

"She came in here and dropped them on my tray!" My eyes dart from the pills to Jeremy. He squints his eyes and looks down at my tray to notice the pills. He reacts like someone just places a grenade in my lap.

"Holy shit!" He quickly pulls the tray away from me before I have a chance to make another bad decision. "Julia, who gave you these? Did you take any?"

I shake my head vigorously. "No. I swear. I didn't. I want to. But I didn't." I watch Jeremy place the pills in the napkin and fold it up. My eyes don't leave the napkin as he shoves it in his pocket.

"Who gave these to you?!"

"Nate's mother. She came in and said I will need them more than she will and just.... she just dropped them on my tray." I cover my face as my tears fall and my entire body shakes. I could have stopped the shaking if I just reacted quicker and took the pills. I could have ended the headaches and muscle pain and nausea. They were right there.

As my thoughts run, I look up to see Jeremy storming out of the room. Great. Now I have yet another enemy in the building. I already had plenty of people hating me for claiming rape now I have Rita Hollan to deal with too?

You know what? No. No, I'm NOT dealing with this shit. She went way overboard to prove a point. I have enough on my place and don't need to be worrying about stunts like these. I don't care whose mother she is.

I wipe my eyes and storm out of my room now on a mission to find Nate's mother. I can already feel my adrenaline rushing through my veins. I went from petrified of this woman to now pure hatred towards her. Once I spot Jeremy confronting Rita, I march my way over. They are in the hallway right outside her room, with Cara standing next to her, confused as to what this is about.

I realize this is out of character for me since I hate confrontations and my bipolar has kicked things up a notch when I open my mouth.

"You bitch." I seeth through gritted teeth and push Jeremy out of the way to get into Rita's face. She's fucking laughing like this is some sick joke to her. The beautiful woman is much taller than I but that doesn't stop me. I get right up into her face to spit out a string of profanities before I push her hard, making her drop that stupid grin.

I yell and push her again until she is up against the wall making Jeremy step in now that I made things physical.

"Julia... take a step back." He tries to grab my arm to pull me back but I swat him away and continue my rampage.

"You ever do something like that to me I swear to god I will bury you 6ft under. You hear me? I've already had to bury my son I will have NO fucking issues burying your sorry white trash ass!" I spat before Jeremy wraps an arm around my waist to pull me away.

"No! I'm not done!" I try to wiggle away from him, still pointing my finger in Rita's face.

"Yes, you are. You see...you're gonna be here for the rest of your life, darlin. Don't you get it?" Rita begins and her smile slowly creeps back up. "It's what he does."

"What the hell are you talking about??" I squirm in Jeremy's arms.

"When Nate can't handle something, he pays to make it go away. He couldn't handle being a big brother, so he paid to put his sister away." The evil in Rita's eyes stops me from fighting Jeremy off and I can see Cara begin to cry. "He couldn't handle you so no surprise he is paying to keep you away too. He's out of your league, Julia. You're too broken for him to want to deal with."

"Rita! Stop!"

We all turn around to see Nate standing at the entrance, red in the face with anger, listening to his mother torment both me and Cara. It's like the director yelled "cut" and the scene stops. All eyes are on Nate now. Paul stands behind him watching the scene play out but also in bodyguard mode in case something happens.

"Don't you DARE fill their heads with lies like that!" He strides towards us with simmering rage, his steps heavy and deliberate, as if each step was a measured expression of his anger. The dark scowl on his face is something I've never seen before. 

"I would do ANYTHING. Absolutely ANYTHING for these two girls in my life. They are HERE and not in some dingy hole in the wall facility because I only want THE BEST care for them." Nate's eyes narrow in fury at Rita. His body is tense and ready to explode. "I work my ASS off to make sure they are both well taken care of. I work my ass off to make sure Cara has a safe space to call home. Something you NEVER did. You NEVER cared."

"Well excuse me your father went ahead and died on me!" 

"You gave up well before dad died and you know it."

******

*Nate*

I have never been so furious at Rita in my life. She crossed the line. I don't know what happened or how this confrontation started but when I walked in and heard her telling Cara and Julia I pay to get them out of my hair, I lost it. I reamed into Rita for a good five minutes straight before Jeremy put a stop to it and a nurse escorted Rita away.

"What the hell happened?" I ask once my mother is gone. Cara is crying. Julia is coming down from her adrenaline rush and now crying and Jeremy looks like a deer in headlights at how quickly things escalated.

"Julia, I'll make sure that never happens again." Jeremy gently places his hand on Julia's shoulder to console her. She doesn't flinch or react to his touch. She's no longer afraid of him. "Why don't we all discuss this in my office."

I nod in agreement seeing us gain a little attention from others while standing in the hallway. Eyes and Ears Everywhere, Nate. What a stupid move to lose your cool in front of others. I know better. That's all I need is for something like this hit the internet tomorrow.

Once in Donovan's office, I sit down on the brown leather couch and Cara and Julia both join me while Paul waits outside. Jeremy pulls up a chair to sit across from us and begins right away.

"I'm very proud of you, Julia. You could have taken those pills and said nothing... You could-"

"WHAT PILLS?!" My voice echoes through the room. Looking at the expression on her face, Cara doesn't seem to know what this is about either. Julia buries her head in her hands and lets Jeremy explain.

"Rita approached Julia. Went into her room and put four Ativan pills in front of Julia."

"WHAT?!" Now two British voices fill the room in unison with our piercing shouts. Both mine and Cara are utterly shocked hearing this.

"Mom did that? What did she say???" Cara needs to know more to believe it.

"She said she'll never understand what Nate saw in me and said I'd benefit from the pills more than she would. She's been saving them up to give to me. She knew that was my addiction." Julia lifts her head and turns to me. "She did it to make me relapse."

The tortured look in Julia's eyes show how hard it was for her to pass up her addiction. Everyone in this room can see she was right on the edge. Julia was tempted to end her current detox suffering but didn't jump off the ledge. This is the first time she has EVER had control over her addiction.

I wrap my arms around her shaky body and embrace her, proud of this step in her recovery. A step she may not notice right now but it's a huge one. One I'm not even ready to conquer.

"I'm so sorry, love." I look up at Jeremy now and anger rises up to my face. "How did not ONE nurse or doctor see that Rita wasn't taking her medication? This is NOT acceptable."

"Maybe she was just kidding around." Cara tries to make excuses for Rita but it's not gonna work.

"No. This was no joke. This is a malicious act we can't tolerate at the Avalon. I'm going to have to write her up for this and bring it up to the board of directors." Jeremy explains and for once, I agree with him.

"Wait, what does that mean?" Cara squints her eyes at the doctor.

"We don't take these offenses lightly, Cara. Things like this could discharge her from the Avalon. She put someone else's health, recovery, sobriety at risk."

"But she just got here! She just started her detox." My sister says with a dejected expression.

"Let's just see what the director says." Jeremy says calmly, trying to prevent any more bipolar outbursts.

"I don't want her near Julia. I meant it when I said I work my ass off to pay for this place. Live up to your price, Donovan." I glare at him.

I don't give two shits if Rita gets kicked out and uses again. It doesn't affect me in the slightest. But I do feel bad when I look into Cara's sad eyes as we walk out of the office. She has these unrealistic hopes her mother will start mothering. It's just not who Rita is. Today proved it.

Rita will never be a caring mother.

******