*Julia*

I freeze when I see Jeremy sitting in the chair next to the bathroom door. He stands up and glares at me and Mike. I've never seen him look this mad before. Or...... jealous? Whatever it is, it's not pretty. Jeremy found out we were in here together and made it a point to stay to reprimand us. He is pissed.

 I walk out nervously and see Paul standing in Mike's doorway with his arms crossed. He shakes his head at us, and I drop my shoulders. I could care less about Jeremy, but I hate seeing Paul disappointed in me. Mike is behind me, and he puts a shaky hand on my shoulder to remind me he is right here with me.

"THIS is not allowed at The Avalon." Jeremy furrows his brows and looks down at me. The once smoldering dark eyes are now filled with anger. 

My bipolar boldness suddenly kicks in.

"So, kick me out." I push past Jeremy, shoving him with my shoulder. He grabs my arm. Hard. Too hard and pulls me back.

"Julia." 

"Let her go! "Both Paul and Mike shout at the same time. Both are right in Jeremy's space. He is showing his true colors in front of two bodyguards right now. Two witnesses. He lets go of my arm and takes a step back looking down the vacant hall to make sure no one else noticed.

"Both of you. My office. Now." He storms away towards his office.

"Yeah. Not happening!" I yell down the hall and flip him off before turning around.

"JULIA! What the hell!" Paul's eyes are wide. "Are you ASKING to get put in restraints today?!"

"He can't boss me around like that! I'm not going to his office. Fuck that." I walk in the opposite direction and shove Nate while passing by him.

******

*Nate*

Ok. What the hell is happening? An hour ago, Julia was doing well. She ate this morning and kept her food down. She responded to me. Didn't freak out when Jeremy came in the room. Even took her meds with no problem. Now she's shoving me and stomping down the hall in a fit of rage?

"What the hell did I do?" I ask Paul and then see Mike in the doorway of the bathroom. "May I help you?" I glare at the man.

"Mike. Back to your room." Paul demands and moves out of the way, letting Mike into his room, closing the door behind him.

"She got caught with Mike. In the bathroom."

"What do you mean she got caught with Mike?" I squint my eyes. I know exactly what Paul means.

"What do you think, Hollan? I highly doubt she was just helping the guy wash his hair. Jeremy caught on and Julia went bipolar on him as a defensive mechanism. She's asking to get put in restraints if she does something like that again."

"Shit." I drop my head down. 

"She's always been a little out of control...Obviously I know that. But she can't be out of control here. God she is just like your sister." Paul walks away in a huff to go to Julia, leaving me in the hall alone.

I open Mike's door and walk in uninvited.

"What the hell are you thinking, Mike!"

"She was just helping me in the shower. She saw I was about to pass out." He says while lying in his bed with his hands around his trembling body. He IS detoxing and Julia is known to be the caretaker. So that much I know is true.

"Is that ALL you two did?"

"I really don't think that is any of your business."

"She's my fucking fiancé!"

"I'm pretty sure she's not. I see no rock on her finger and news all over the internet says ex-fiancé thanks to that photo of you and Mila Giovanni coming out of that spa together in Italy."

Mike did his homework.

"You need to stay away from her." I say as a warning through my clenched jaw.

"And Donovan needs to keep his hands off her. If he grabs her arm like that again I'm going to break it. I'll do just fine in prison."

"I'm sure you will." I retort but then go back to what he just said. "Keep his hands off? What the hell are you talking about?"

"He grabbed her arm! Hard. Both Paul and I were witnesses. I don't care what a patient does here. A doctor should never grab their arm that hard. That's his way of reminding her. Reminding her to be scared of him."

I stare at the man in silence.

Jeremy is slipping. He knows he's not winning the game right now and is getting frustrated. Seeing Mike with Julia kills him, doesn't it? This is Jeremy's Karma. His bad actions are now punishing him. He hurt Julia and now she is finding any way possible to hurt him back. sleeping with another patient is one of the ways. She's playing his wicked game. Only problem is-

He's a dangerous man.

****

"What the hell are you doing, Moretti?!" Paul is laying into Julia now while she sits on her bed with her head in her hands.

"He can't control my every action. Bad enough he is threatening to keep me here forever."

I walk into Julia's room and sit on the bed next to her. I need to stay calm. Do you know how fucking hard it is to stay calm with a temper like mine? Pretty Goddamn hard, I can tell you that.

"Why did you do that?" I ask softly, more because I'm hurt over what she did. And now worried for Julia. Donovan has a temper worse than mine. He will take it out on Julia.

"I don't know. Cuz I wanted to."

"That's not a good enough answer." I shake my head.

"Nobody helps Mike. He can barely stand without feeling dizzy never mind take a shower by himself. His body is depleted, and they haven't even noticed. He's yet to get an IV for fluids yet they are trying to prick me every chance they get. Because Jeremy is always on top of them... because it's me. He should be making sure EVERYONE is ok, not just me.

"Doll, he has a sick obsession with you. Of course, his focus is going to be on you and you alone."

"Well Mike needs care too. And if no one is going to do it then I will."

"That includes fucking in a shower?" I raise an eyebrow at Julia. She doesn't deny it and her face turns beet red.

"He needed help showering and." She pauses. "I needed help escaping."

"What does that even mean?!"

"You wouldn't understand, Nate." Julia shakes her head and gets up. "Time for our meeting."

She dismisses the conversation and walks out of the room, making Paul scramble to follow her.

"Jesus Christ." I scratch the stubble on my face and leave the room.

******

*Julia*

I pay no attention to the AA meeting. It doesn't even pertain to me. I don't want to be high on Ativan. I also pay no attention to Nate and his sister next to me, or Jeremy sitting right behind me. Jeremy is fuming. Not only did I not go to his office for the meeting, but Mike is sitting on the other side of me just to rub it in more.

Poor Mike is really struggling but trying to pay attention to the meeting. The woman speaker continues on while somewhat pacing around the front of the room.

"And for those of you who think this is just some drug and alcohol addiction meeting, you're wrong. I'm talking about any addiction. Not just drugs and alcohol. You could be addicted to all sorts of things." The woman says to the handful of addicts. "You could be addicted to food, pornography, gambling or even sex. Anything that you use to help you escape from the real world. You don't need chemicals to get you high. We all know that. It's whatever the addiction makes you feel. Whatever it does to your body that you can't get enough of."

The therapist touches a sore spot for me, and I feel heat rise to my face. Mike keeps his eyes straight ahead, but he knows what I'm feeling right now and without moving much, he links his pinky finger with mine and then holds my hand. He's letting me know he gets it. He understands.

Jeremy clears his throat loudly and I slide my hand away but can feel Nate's eyes glaring at me now.

Shit.

I cross my arms over my chest and stare straight ahead.

What the hell am I doing? I AM out of control. I have absolutely no boundaries or fear of consequences today. I'm spiraling out of control in a way I've never done before. It's like...I just don't care anymore. It's like...I'm officially broken. There's not enough glue to hold the broken pieces together. The cracks are too jagged, and I've given up on trying.

I try not to draw attention to myself but as the woman continues to describe me in front of an entire room of addicts, my eyes water. The doctor goes on and on pretty much spotlighting all that I am and even though I know no one is looking at me, I feel like I'm on display. Every single thing she says- it's me. I use things to escape my life. Sex, Ativan.... People. I use them to feel numb from my own issues but also use them to feel something. Anything. I rely on sex, drugs and people to get me through each day. If I don't have access to one, I'll use the other.

Without realizing it, the session is over and everyone is dismissed. Yet I sit here. Frozen. In the same stance I've been in for the last 20 minutes. Tears roll down my face but I continue to stare straight ahead.

******

*Nate*

"Is she ok?" Mike looks at Julia sitting between us and nudges her a little. She's unresponsive. I should be pissed off at her. She was holding the fucking felon's hand while sitting right next to me. It hurt and she wasn't even thinking of me. Everything I do for her, and she goes ahead and sleeps with this prick. Then flips out on Donovan. It's hard to try to protect someone who purposely sabotages your efforts.

But I'm not mad. Just look at her! The speaker's words resonated with Julia. I know they did because they resonated with me as well. Me and Jules? We're the same. Whether she wants to admit it or not. So, no. I'm not mad at her. Especially seeing her like this.

"Um...... class is over, lady." Cara raises her brows at me. "Nate, did you break your little toy?" Cara scoffs and shakes her head before leaving the room.

"Jule?" I call her name, but she ignores me. I turn in my seat and look back at Donovan...you know, the fucking doctor...for a little help here. He knows what to do. I raise my eyebrows at him, and he gets up to walk around and face Julia.

"Julia." Jeremy says and then sighs. "She's in shock."

He kneels down and takes her hand and at first- I'm ready to pounce on the guy for touching her, but Julia doesn't flinch. That's concerning. Jeremy Donovan is right in front of her and holding her hand and Julia stares straight ahead at nothing. Just like she did the very first time she shut down in the studio parking lot.

"Hey, Julia. Look at me." Jeremy continues but Jules is off in her own world.

"Yeah...something's not right with the girl." Mike's eyes are wide, never seeing Julia do this before.

"Michael, why don't you head to your room. We still need to discuss earlier." Jeremy looks up at him.

"Whatever doc." Mike shakes his head and exits the room. Now it's just Jeremy, Me, Julia and Paul who stands in the doorway. I can see the vein in his neck throbbing from here. He is glaring at Jeremy who holds Julia's hand, with his fists clenched so tight his knuckles are now white. 

I lean over, resting my forearms on my knees observing the interaction. One wrong move and Jeremy is getting punched. Not by me. By Paul. I can see it in his eyes.

"Julia. Can you tell me what you're thinking right now?" Jeremy asks softly.

"She's thinking she wants you to get your fucking hands away from her." I sneer.

"Nate, please..." He shakes his head at me and turns back to Julia.

"You're feeling all the things.... aren't you?" Jeremy frowns with a nod.

Julia's tear-filled eyes slowly shift to his. The doctor continues.

"Everything the speaker described. Not just substance abuse. The addiction to other things, huh?"

Julia's face remains stoic. Emotionless. Yet she gives Jeremy the slightest nod of her head.

"It's ok. You're here. You're trying to get better. I get it, ok? You know I do."

I get a pit in my stomach watching Julia respond to Jeremy. It makes me nauseous. But I have no choice but to let him continue because Julia needs to snap out of this.

"Can we have a moment?" Jeremy looks over to me, and I practically laugh at the guy.

"Yeah. Not a chance." I snicker and give him a look. Jeremy ignores it and turns back to Julia.

"When I told you I was getting the help I needed..." He says so soft I almost can't hear him, but Julia can. She is focused on him and only him. His cheeks flush a little talking about himself and his own issues now.

"This is one of the things. Addiction. Doesn't have to be with drugs or drinking. I know that, and now you know that."

"You can NOT blame what you did to her on a fucking addic-"

"Nate, please." Jeremy closes his eyes for a moment before continuing and I feel my blood boil. "An addiction can be anything. Or.... multiple things. Anything to escape reality, right?"

Julia nods, still staring at Donovan, and then after a few seconds, her face comes back to life.

"I don't want to be like this." She says, still letting the asshole hold her hand. "I don't want to live like this." She cries.

"I know you don't, Julia."

Julia cries so hard, let's go of Jeremy's hand- thank God- and covers her face. Sobbing. Literally sobbing. It breaks all three of us. I immediately wrap my arms around her before Jeremy even THINKS of doing such a thing and she buries her head in my chest. I hold her petite body that's now shaking as she comes down from whatever the hell that just was.

"It was bound to hit her sooner or later." Jeremy rises to his feet and sits on the chair Julia was just sitting on and loosens his tie a little.

"I don't get what's happening. I mean... I do. But why is she so emotional over this?" I can't believe I'm asking this prick shit or even giving him the time of day. But Julia is in my arms, shaking and sobbing. I will do anything to help her.

"Really? You don't get it?" He cocks a brow at me. "You of all people I thought would be the first to understand." He takes off his glasses and pinches the tension between his eyes. "Julia's not just addicted to Ativan. She's addicted to wanting to escape life. She uses people, uses sex...to escape. Like she did today. She didn't have a reason to why she did what she did today. That's why she freaked out and got so defensive after. Being Bipolar on top of it all really doesn't help things for her. The fluctuating moods, malnutrition, all of it plays a part in making Julia who she is. She doesn't mean to hurt people when she does what she does. It's her addiction. Just like I'm sure you never mean to hurt the ones you love when you go off and get wasted. Yet you still did it."

I swallow hard hearing that and kiss the top of Julia's head while closing my eyes. I hate that this sonofabitch knows what he's talking about. I hate it with every friggen bone in my body.

But he's right. I HATE that he is right.

"Nate, she really does need a lot of counseling. A lot of intervention. Possible change of meds. All of that needs to happen here. Supervised. Going off on tour with you? That was just her way of escaping. She knew what was waiting for her when she returned. So instead, she escaped. Then REALLY escaped when she got ahold of those pills and overdosed. If she doesn't get the help she needs soon...." Jeremy shakes his head unable to finish that sentence. We all know what the end result will be if something doesn't change for Julia.

*******