*Julia*

Sleep was not happening for me last night. For a multitude of reasons. But one thing is for sure. I am no longer in my shutdown mode. I'm no longer numb. Any residue of relief from sedatives has officially left my body. I'm feeling everything.

"Oh no."

A wave of nausea hits me hard, but I know I won't get sick. I can't remember the last time I've had a full meal. Paul is awake and fully dressed in his usual attire of jeans, a black T shirt, and black boots. He's sitting on the chair reading a newspaper. Where the hell does this guy find newspapers, even at the Avalon?!

I look over him and think about the dream I had last night. Shit, Julia, you got to get that stuff out of your head. He cocks an eyebrow at me and lowers the newspaper.

"Is there a problem, Moretti?"

"No. No problem at all. Hey, did I keep you up last night?"

Paul huffs and folds his paper, putting it back on the desk. "Yeah, I don't know what was going on in that head of yours. You were saying all sorts of stuff."

"I was?" Oh lord.

"Yeah. None of it made sense. You gotta let me get some sleep, though." He pauses and studies my face. "And I swear to God, if you say my name like that in your sleep again, I'm gone. You hear me?"

Heat rises to my face. I am three shades of red right now. I can only imagine what I sounded like when I said Paul's name in my sleep with the thoughts I was having and now he knows exactly what I was thinking doesn't he?

"Sorry?" I say as a question and look away quickly.

"Yeah, you turn to somebody else for that shit. Go to Mike's room for all I care, but don't start doing that with me. Whether you are sleeping or not sleeping."

Oh god.

I'd really like to crawl underneath a rock somewhere right now. I wonder what he's going to tell Nate. I'm sure they'll just laugh about it but now I really want to know what I sounded like and the things I was saying.

"Again... sorry. I was obviously sleeping." I shiver and hold my knees up to my chest, feeling the beginning of yet another detox. This needs to be my last one. I don't think my body can handle much more.

"You're feeling your withdrawals now, aren't you?" Paul asks and I nod. It doesn't seem to affect him at all. He grabs the paper and resumes his reading like I am not in the room. Typical Paul.

Jeremy knocks on my door as he always does every morning, and Paul goes right into bodyguard mode. He puts in the newspaper down and is on high alert now.

"Looks like the medication is out of your system." Jeremy notices my chills. "You think you're ready to eat today? Maybe in the cafeteria this time?"

I actually make eye contact with him which is something I don't do very often these days.

"Do you have to sit there and watch me? I do better when people aren't looking at me." Jeremy knows this. It's one of the many parts of my eating disorder.

"Well, unfortunately you do need to be monitored, and I do need to know and document how much you eat... and unfortunately... because somebody brought the stomach bug into the facility," He pauses and looks at Paul." by coming in when they were sick, we have a couple of nurses out today, so we are very short staffed. I am your nurse today."

I freeze when he says that and have to look away. Jeremy is my nurse today? Which means all day long he will be with me. I know he planned this because he could have found somebody else or just told Paul to watch over me or some shit like that, but he is making it a point to let me know that he is in control... watching my every move now.

Another shiver runs through my body and tears well up in my eyes. I swallow hard and want to say something, but words just won't come out. I'm stuck with Jeremy for the day.

"Come on, you need to start eating so you can take your medication." Jeremy stands in the doorway waiting for me to get out of bed. I look at Paul who gives me a slight nod to let me know he is right here with me.

"I... I just need to use the bathroom first."

"Make it quick, please. We're already running late." Jeremy says with little to no patience to him. Today is going to be a very long day I can tell already.

******

*Nate*

"Well, I am pleased to hear that your tour has been extremely successful, Nate. Quite the good reviews all around and I look forward to seeing that continue through your travels... especially when you start performing the US leg of the tour" Richard begins the meeting on a high note.

"Thanks, Richard. A lot of hard work was put into this tour... not just me but from the production team as a whole." I shift in my seat a little and look at Trisha who has her laptop open ready to work. "But I'm curious to ask what this meeting is about? I just returned into the states and actually have a lot on my plate right now. I know I only have three weeks home before I fly back out."

"That's why I wanted to have this meeting now we would like to continue producing more music videos especially the Safe Haven song that you just released. I think you could really make a good amount of money off of that if you had a music video to go along with it."

Once again Richard only sees me as money. He sees me as the walking dollar bill sign. And whenever he says 'make a music video' it scares me a little because of what happened with Mila Giovanni. That whole season of my life was one of the worst seasons I've ever experienced, and it put Julia through pure hell. I can't let that happen again so if he even mentions-

"We were thinking of hiring Mila Giovanni again because of how good it worked out the last time."

I look over to Trisha whose eyes are already wide, and she shakes her head a little to tell me to make sure I keep my shit together. But I can feel all the color draining from my face.

"How good it worked out together?! How good it worked out together?? It was awful Richard. You had me doing some publicity stunt that ruined my relationship with my girlfriend!"

"Nate!" Trisha practically hisses at me.

"Nate nothing." I put my foot down on this conversation. "That can't happen again. I don't think you understand what it did, Richard. All you see is money! You don't see how that affected everybody... the people around me...the people that I love. I don't think you understand how it affected me and my health. I started drinking again. I can't do that... my body can't afford to go through that again."

"NATE!" Trisha tries to reel me in.

"I got a fucking DUI from that whole stunt and now have to do a million community hours and AA meetings at the Avalon every freaking day of my life" I exaggerate.

"You're correct on one thing, Nate. It is all about the money and that is what I see because that is my job. To to see you be productive and earn money. Your DUI... your drinking? That's your own personal business. That is something you have to work on for yourself. It has nothing to do with your career. Let me make this clear. There will be a music video and if I feel like Mila Giovanni is the best fit and can get her to sign the contract and be in the video...that is what I'm going to do."

Richard puts me in my place.

It was nice to see you again Nate enjoy your few weeks off. We will be in touch." Richard stands up and adjusts his tie while staring me down and then he leaves the room closing the door behind him.

" Oh my God, this is actually happening. He's going to do this to me, isn't he?" My voice shakes a little as I talk to Trisha.

"I've never seen Richard be that bold before. Usually, you have a say... but not this time." She looks just as shocked as I do.

"How the hell am I gonna tell Julia this? How the hell am I even gonna DO this??"

"Well, let's not think about that right now. He hasn't planned anything. It's just one of his stupid ideas and nothing's going to happen in the next three weeks. And you have tour all year so I don't know where he's pulling this time out of his ass. Because you have no time right now. So, don't go jumping the gun and telling Julia anything when we don't even know what's happening yet, OK? She's going through enough and you're going through enough. Come on you need to take me out for breakfast. I'm starving."

"Do you mind if we get something quick on the way home, I really need to go see Julia at the Avalon and Paul could use a break. Unless you want to join us and go to the Avalon with me?"

"Not a shot in hell, Playboy."

I laughed loudly at that but then continue to plot my little Trisha/ James plan that I have been working on for God knows how long now.

" Why don't you take James out for breakfast? I'm sure he would enjoy that."

"James can't drive."

"Well, you can..." I push on.

"Nate.... I haven't driven since..." She pauses.

"Trisha, you're going to really need to get over this. You're going to have to learn how to drive. What's going to happen when things get really busy, and I need you to run my errands for me again."

"I'll hire a driver. I'll use an Uber or something. Nate, you don't understand! Every time I got behind the wheel with Paul... God, he tried but I'd have a panic attack. You saw it. You saw how I was! I'm not ready." She begins to get upset. "Never mind. I'm not even hungry. I'll just go home."

"Trish..."

Trisha wipes a watery eye. This is still a big problem for her. A problem that she has yet to work through.

I let out a sigh as we stand up and I put my arms around her.

"It's OK doll, I'll pick you guys up some breakfast to bring back, OK? You don't have to drive anywhere." I kiss the top of her head. "Come on, I know you're hungry." I say with more softness to my voice.

Sometimes Trisha gets put on the back burner when it comes to this stuff. She pretends she's so strong but then things like this come up. Things like her driving and the trauma behind it. She'll never forget that day that her and James collided into us. It was traumatic for all of us... James obviously dealt with the worst- needing brain surgery and then being in a coma for so long. Hell, he's still recovering.

But Trisha's still recovering too. The road ahead is still long for Trisha. Mentally she's still recovering from that accident. Something that may just stay with her forever. Fortunately, I do have the funds to help her if she does end up needing a driver for the rest of her life. She'll still be all. I will pay for her to have a personal driver to help her out.

I'm not going to force her to drive if she's not ready.

*****

*Julia*

Like a nurse would, Jeremy holds my chart on a clipboard and walks behind me while I enter the cafeteria. He grabs a tray for me, and I suddenly wonder how much food he's going to put on it. Is he going to punish me? It's been done before. Maybe not by him per se but by other nurses when they found out I claimed raped towards their beloved Jeremy.

Paul stands behind both of us in his bodyguard stance watching Jeremy's every move, but he's also watching my moves too. Because he knows I'm starting my detox. He knows I'm a little unhinged. He knows anything can happen at any moment.

Fortunately for me, Jeremy puts the normal amount of food on my tray- two slices of French toast, a banana, two small cartoons of orange juice and a cup of grapes... because he knows grapes are my favorite. Of course Jeremy knows. There was a time I told him everything. He was, in fact, my therapist before he became my enemy.

I look around the room and I sit at the one empty table left because I know nobody wants to sit next to me regardless of if I have Jeremy as my nurse or not. Minutes later without even an ounce of trepidation, Mike Maloney sits right across from me and smiles. He really is not afraid of Jeremy. Not at all. But he could make this very hard for me and Jeremy could take his aggression out on me, so I suddenly become very nervous.

I look down at my food and have trouble eating now. I'm trying really hard because I know I have to be perfect. If I slip up even the slightest amount, I'm going to pay for it. Jeremy will make sure of that.

"Michael, I'm sure there is another table that you would rather sit at, correct?" Jeremy narrows his eyes at the man across the table.

"Nope I want to sit at this table right across from my friend here. Do you have a problem with that Doctor Donovan??"

Jeremy let's out a little sigh but realizes it's not worth the fight. My table now consists of me, Paul next to me, Jeremy next to Paul because I purposely took the end seat and Paul sat right next to me to save me, Mike right across from me and Mike's nurse across from Jeremy.

"You're starting your detox, aren't you? I can tell ... but you really should eat a little. You will feel better." Mike says.

"Yeah, says you. When was the last time you ate? You're in the middle of your detox too." I retort.

"Fine. Whoever eats the most wins." Mike looks down at my food, the same amount he has and back up at me with a raised brow.

"Oh? You want to play that game Mr. Maloney??"

We pay no attention to everybody else at the table. He eyes me with a little smirk, ready to play the game. I know he's going to win. Well, maybe he'll win. I don't know... he's not looking pretty hot right now. The bags under his eyes, his hair pulled back using my hair tie, and I have a feeling the last time he took a shower was when I gave him one ...He is deep in his detox. He could use some food in his system just as much as me right now. I have a feeling he's lost a good amount of weight since his drug issues.

We both look down at our plates. Both struggling. I look up at Mike and he smirks. He knows he's going to win... but I'm not gonna let that happen. I'll be the first to take a bite.

I grab my cup of grapes and begin to eat them while staring at Mike. I can tell Jeremy's eyes are on me and I can tell he's in a bit of shock because he knows the first few bites are the hardest, he knows once I get over that initial anxiety with my eating disorder that I will start eating. My body will let me know I'm hungry whether I'm detoxing or not.

Mike grabs the same thing and begins eating but then makes a sour face.

"God, I hate green grapes." He spits them out in the napkin, and I laugh. I take his cup of grapes and give him my banana. Even though grapes don't have a ton of calories and no fat to them they still have a little sugar to help raise my glucose level so when I eat both cups of grapes, I can tell Jeremy is more than pleased. I can also tell the doctor was still in a bit of shock over this game that we're playing.

While I finished my grapes, Mike eats the banana and once we are both done, we both raise our eyebrows at each other and begin eating the French toast. We both can tell we are forcing it... both feeling nauseous as we take the first bite... both have in trouble swallowing it down.

"Ohh god." I mutter, trying to hold the nausea in. I open my small carton of orange juice and pour into the plastic cup. Mike mimics me and does the same and we both drink at the same time. he laughs a little at that.

The two of us play the game and eat one piece of the French toast before we both start turning green. I shake my head a little in defeat but then see Mike struggle just as much.

"Fine, tie... for this meal at least. But lunch I'm gonna win." He says triumphantly.

"Yeah, well don't plan on sitting near me at the table for lunch until you've taken a shower, Mike. You smell like a dumpster again."

The game is over, and I freeze a little when I hear Jeremy's voice.

"Good job Julia. You did well."

I know he's at the table with me... he's right next to Paul. But sometimes it just catches me off guard when I hear that voice. It just goes right through me and brings me right back to the times that he's hurt me.

But I did everything right. I ate a little and I kept my food down thanks to Mike and his little competition. Maybe he was just playing games with me to make sure I ate but it worked and maybe... maybe Mike helps me in more ways than one.

*****

*Nate*

It always amazes me how every single day with Julia is so different. Yesterday she didn't even acknowledge anyone in the room. There was no 'Welcome home, Nate" or "Happy to see you." Julia had shut down completely after her sedation. I still don't exactly know what happened before that or what Jeremy did to make her shut down, but Julia will tell me when she is ready.

This morning Paul's update was a positive one. Julia woke up and actually ate breakfast. He DID mention it was Mike Maloney who helped her. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know how I feel about anything these days, though.

The entire ride to the Avalon I was quiet. Jonah could tell something was up. He always can.

"How'd the meeting go this morning?" He asks as Ren drives us through the Avalon gates.

"Not great." I say with disappointment. I tell Jonah everything.

"He can really force you?"

"It's management. They can do whatever the hell they want."

"You're not going to tell Julia this though, right? Not till you are one hundred percent positive that Mila Giovanni will be in the video. Right?" The nurse asks nervously.

"No. I'm not going to say anything. Trisha said nothing is set in stone and nothing is going to happen anytime soon so I'm leaving well enough alone. Julia needs to recover. That news will kill her."

"I agree, brother. Bad timing for that. Hey... before we go in, did you have any more thoughts on what we researched last night?" Jonah turns to me. Apparently, he has thoughts.

"Not really. What are our options?" I ask.

"She stays at the Avalon or gets released to go into state facilitated care."

Yeah, but they are all shit here." I remind him.

"The other option is to get the best state care....in Massachusetts." He says hesitantly.

"What? No, Jonah I'm not shipping her off across the country!" I glare at him. Why would he ever think I would want to do that? She belongs here. With me!

"Just a thought, Nate. Just thinking of Julia's health. that's all." He ends it there when he sees how quickly that worked me up and Ren parks the car.

"Why would you think I would ever want to do that?" I say, not getting out yet.

"I mean. I'm sure you could rent a place in Boston to live or something..."

"I can't. My production team is in L.A., not New York. And James would never leave his sisters. Julia won't go anywhere without him and, yeah no. We can't do that." I pause. "Right??"

"Let's just keep that option open for now, ok?"

I give Jonah a little nod, now having conflicting feelings. Is moving to the East Coast an option? I don't think it is for me. Not with work.

But what if it is the best place for Julia?

****

Paul told me Julia was having a good start to the morning, but I know how fast things can change so I don't get my hopes up. I'll believe it when I see it. When I walk through the Avalon doors things seem a little more chaotic than usual. There is a nurse answering phones and checking people in and not Mallory, the usual receptionist.

Nurse Brenda eyes me and Jonah while answering a call and buzzes us right in. She doesn't bother to have a nurse come walk us through the hall to update Julia's status. They must be short staffed today. I know my way around now we head right to Julia's room.

Her door is open.

I knock on the wall and enter cautiously. Paul is sitting at the desk reading the paper and surprisingly, Mike Maloney is in here, sitting next to Julia's bed, talking to her.

Julia is laying down on her side curled up and looking rather shaky. Her detox is starting.

"Don't you have somewhere better to be?" I squint my eyes at Maloney who just rolls his and stands up.

"Nice to see you too, asshole. I'll talk to you later." He gives Julia a wink before leaving and my eyes follow him until he is out the door.

What I want to say is "Why the hell is he hanging out with you in your room?" But I refrain.

"Hey Jules." I study her face to see what kind of mood she is in. I walk into the room more, with
Jonah behind me as she sits up. Then, out of nowhere, Julia rushes to me and throws her arms around me.

Oh, thank God.

I embrace her and bury my head in her hair, hugging her and lifting her up off the ground so she can't touch the floor.

"I've missed you so much." I repeat from yesterday because I don't think Julia was really 'with us' yesterday. This is my welcome home. Right here. This moment. "God, I've missed you so much." I whisper.

We pay no attention to Paul, and he pays no attention to us. I lower Julia so she can touch the ground and cup her face. Tears are streaming down her eyes. Like always.

I drop my forehead to hers and close my eyes before I press my lips to hers.

And she lets me.

Julia lets me kiss her and doesn't back away. The last time we kissed was when I said goodbye to her and watched her get on that plane to come home. I wasn't sure..and still not sure, where we stand. I know we have a long road ahead of us but right now, Julia is kissing me back. Right now, her fingers are threaded in my hair. Right now, my heart it full and relief sets in.

Eventually we have no choice but to break the kiss due to lack of air and I look down at the beautiful woman. Her eyes are tired and sad but she's still so beautiful.

"How are you feeling today, doll?" I ask and sit down on her perfectly made bed. She sits right next to me and we turn to each other.

"It's starting...again." Julia raises her hands to show me and Jonah how shaky they are. It never takes long. And Julia knows it will be hard. "Sorry about yesterday."

"What about yesterday?" I ask

"Flipping out like that."

"No different than any other day, princess." I tease and she pushes me a little with a smirk.

"He... he can't really make me live here though, right? He can't do that...right?" She quickly becomes nervous. I knew this question would come up and frown, turning to Jonah now. This gains Paul's attention, and he lowers the paper, waiting to hear the answer.

"We're going to figure it out." Jonah swallows hard and Julia's eyes dart from his to mine.

"That's what Nate says when he doesn't know the answer." She begins, knowing me all too well. And now I'm rubbing off on Jeremy. "He can't though, right??"

"We aren't sure yet." Jonah walks into the room more and takes the seat Mike was sitting at next to the bed to talk softer. "We aren't exactly sure what he's capable of. I'm looking into our options though, ok? We spent all night researching."

"What are we researching?" Jeremy walks in with a tiny plastic cup. Julia's meds. I glare at the doctor before speaking.

"Don't you have nurses to do this shit?" I ask knowing Jeremy will find any excuse to be near julia.

"Thanks to your bodyguard here, the stomach bug is going around the facility. Too many people called out today, so we are short staffed. Meaning... I'm her nurse today."

"Of course you are." I huff as Julia takes her medication. She doesn't look at Jeremy but doesn't freak out either. Today is a good day.

"Anyway," Jeremy ignores me. " You still need to shower before your addiction group session. If I recall, you need to be in the AA meeting as well." He looks at me now.

Right. I have to sign in and go to the meeting as well to show proof that I'm actually getting my hours in.

*****

*Julia*

I know it will take Nate and Jonah a little while to go over the forms and sign in, so I take that time for my shower. Paul escorts me down the hall.

"Wait right here." Paul stops at the men's room, needing to go, so I wait right outside the door with my bag. While he is in there, Mike comes out of his room with his shower bag. He sways a little and holds his head before leaning back on the door. Once again, there is no one to help Mike. Not even a nurse today. He's dehydrated and looks like he spent the morning throwing up his breakfast alone in his room. I frown just thinking how he is treated here. Mike notices me waiting for Paul and raises his brows at me. I tick my head in the direction of the bathrooms telling him to go take his shower and he gives me a nod. I can tell it is taking all his energy just to walk across the hall. He could probably use some IV fluids.

Paul comes out within seconds and follows me down to the bathrooms. There's a chair at the end of the hall and I glance at it.

"Might as well grab the chair. I'm taking a long shower today. I'm freezing." I announce and Paul nods. While he's dragging the chair over, I enter the bathroom and close the door.

Mike is leaning his hands against the sink with his head hung low. When he hears the click of the door shutting, he flinches in surprise. I quickly clover his mouth and shake my head before lowering my hand.

"Julia..." He whispers, confused as to why I am in the same bathroom as him.

"Shh." I whisper and turn the hot water. "I'll help you."

Mike nods in relief, accepting my help. I help him take off his sweatshirt and a chill goes through his body.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure the water is hot enough, ok? C'mon." I undress Mike, and then undress myself, taking his hand and guiding him into the shower. I can tell he is dizzy by the way he turns to the side and leans against the wall a little.

"You need to start drinking more, Mike." I whisper and stand in front of him, so the water hits his back and warms him. He drops his head back to wet his hair while holding on to the bar attached to the wall.

"You must be freezing too..." He opens his eyes, but I shake my head. "You first. I'll help you wash up. I'm only hours into my detox. You're in the "My whole body is freezing stage." When I get there, you can help me, ok?" I whisper with a slight smirk and turn Mike around.

I wash his hair for him and help him rinse it. I try not to pay attention to the massive hard on he has right now or stare at all his tattoos on his body... or how attractive he is, especially right now, naked in the same shower as me.

Instead, I help him with everything. I wash his back and his chest and let him do the rest. He still trembles but I know it's not from being cold. It's from the detox. The steam fills the small bathroom which helps keep me warm. A few times, Mike needs to hold on the bar and drop his head, feeling the room spin. I rub his back until it passes.

I put a face cloth on the built-in seat and sit him down once he is done so I can wash myself. We barely speak, in fear of getting caught. I can feel his eyes on me as I wash my hair. While I'm rinsing my hair with my eyes closed, Mike stands up and I feel him begin to wash my body. Slowly he drags his sudsy bar of soap across my chest with one hand and I feel him pay "extra" attention to my chest with his other hand. I inhale sharply and open my eyes to look up at him.

His eyes are dark and filled with lust, but he isn't looking at me. He continues to wash every inch of my body the best he can. As he's dragging the soap down my back, he kisses my shoulder and leans his body into mine. I can feel him against my back and suddenly our innocent shower turns into more. As much as I can tell Mike wants this, I can also tell how weak he is right now.

I give him a slight nod and guide him back down to the seat. He looks up at me with confusion until I straddle his lap and run both my hands through his hair. I drop my forehead down to his and he holds on to my body.

"We have to be really quiet." I remind him. I get up and turn around, so my back is against his chest and slowly sit back down, lining myself up and lowering onto him. He gasps but with no real noise, and drops his head to my shoulder, kissing my skin. I slowly begin to roll my hips, feeling him deep inside of me. The water sprays against my body but still hits Mike and the steam keeps us both warm.

"You feel so good." I lean forwards a little and rest my hands in front of me on his thighs and begin to move a little faster. I don't know where this boldness came from. Well.... I do...and I know it's not right. But I don't care. Call me crazy but look where we are. In a damn mental hospital.

Mike begins rocking his hips up to match my rhythm now. A small whimper escapes my lips as I push back against him, needing to feel more. He holds on to my hips, driving himself deep into me again and again, leaving me aching and begging for more. My legs quiver, and I try my best to stay on my tiptoes as he thrusts up into me now. I'm not tall at all, so doing this took some balance, but I don't care. I'm willing to do whatever the hell he needs so he can slam into me. His fingers dig into my hips as he tries his best to keep a grip on me.

"Lean back." Mike demands, and I do. I wrap my arm behind his neck, drop my head back on his shoulder, and spread my legs more. He slides one hand down between my legs, and he works my nerves while slowly rolling into me. The other hand kneads my breasts

"Oh god." I say as softly as I can and grind down in him. Between the hot water, the position I'm in, and what his hands are doing, my mind and body are both numb with pleasure, his hands intensifying that feeling. Mike kisses the side of my neck, driving me up a wall even more.

I need this escape. This is how I forget life for a while. This is how Mike forgets life for a while. It's wrong, but we don't care.

My legs begin to tremble uncontrollably, making it known I'm close to hitting my high. A surge of pleasure races through my body, and my vision becomes hazy. I bite my bottom lip, trying my hardest to stay quiet.

"Yeah." Mike says against my ear, getting close himself. We both come undone at the same time, and I melt into him, leaning my back against his chest. We are both heaving but both with slight smiles on our faces.

"That was the best shower I've ever had." He whispers against my ear as we come down from our highs. I smirk a little and slowly stand up to wash myself. Once done, I take his shaky hand in mine and stand him up.

"Here. Stay in the hot water. Let me get dressed real quick, and then I will help you." I let go of Mike's hand and placed it on the bar for him to hold. Once I'm ready, I help Mike and then sit him on the closed toilet so I can brush his hair. When wet, it curls a little just like mine.

"Thanks, Julia. But one question." He stands up and wraps his arms around me, pressing my body into his. "How are we going to get out of here without Paul noticing?"

"Who cares? Look where we are." I roll my eyes and open the door.

To my surprise, it's not Paul sitting in the chair guarding the door.

It's Jeremy.