*Nate*

I'm not having the best of luck with my health lately and last night gave me a good scare. Because it isn't the first time this has happened, I ended up having to tell Jonah. I would have told him eventually, but Trisha was with me, so I knew I wouldn't be able to let it go.

What's weird about the timing of this is that I JUST had my physical AND cardiologist appointments.

I was grilling my dinner out on the balcony and began to cough. No big deal, right? No big deal until you begin to cough up blood.

"Get Jonah, Trish." I spit over the balcony and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Blood. "Trisha.... Get Jonah...."

She stares at me for a second like she isn't processing what I just said.

"Hey..."

Trisha snaps out of it and immediately runs back into the apartment. Not five minutes later, and I'm being driven to the emergency room.

"Try not to worry. It could be anything, Nate." Jonah assures me while driving at an extremely fast speed. Too fast. Which means he's telling me not to worry, yet he IS worried. Paul buckles his seatbelt while in the back as my bodyguard. We didn't exactly have time to prep the hospital for my arrival.

I pull my hat down a little lower and cough into a tissue.

Definitely blood. I can feel Jonah's eyes gravitate to the tissue and then back to the road.

"I'm calling the hospital to let them know you're on the way. For extra security, " Paul announces.

I nod and look out my window. This can't be happening. One week and then I fly to London. I purposely had our flights booked so we had a week before tour to visit my family, sightsee, the works. I have to be ok for this. I don't have time for this!

I feel the heat rise to my face and the tears sting my eyes. Jonah glances over at me again and pats my knee.

"Hey." He says under his breath. "It's gonna be fine. Probably something minor."

"Yeah." I swallow hard. Coughing up blood is never something minor. I look back at Trisha, sitting next to Paul. She's quietly staring out her window but is a silent mess of tears. I've put her through so much, especially lately. I tried to tell her to stay behind, but she wasn't having it. So Casey is with James and Julia.

Julia has no idea. She was sleeping due to a headache. I think about that for a second. She's gonna wake up and freak. I know Julia. She will be a nervous wreck. I wait for Paul to be done with his call to the hospital before talking.

"Hey." I look back at Paul. "If Casey needs help when Julia wakes up, can you go back home to be with her?"

Paul knows what I mean and nods his head. If Julia has a mental breakdown, Casey will need Paul. James checks out too quickly. He can't bare to watch Julia shut down and certainly can't handle her the way I can. Jules is on all new meds. Now is not the time for her to have stress. Now is not the time for me to have health issues either, but look where I'm going now.

We pull up to the back entrance like advised, and bodyguards are already waiting at the door for me.

This is really happening.

******

*Julia*

I turn to look at the time. 7 pm. I slept a much needed three solid straight hours. My headache is finally gone. It's gotta be from the new medications. I stretch my body and see James sitting in the recliner with his hands folded and head down.

He's praying.

Which means something happened. I sit up and stare at him until he is done.

"James... what's going on?"

"Hey. Li-listen. I don't know much. But Jonah took Nate to the E.R. He was coughing up blood."

He was coughing up blood? That doesn't sound good at all. I suddenly feel a heavy weight on my chest. He was coughing up blood. The last time Nate was coughing up blood was in the Marriott bathroom after binge drinking right through his intestines.

"Well, c'mon! We need to go!" I jump out of bed, but James grabs my hand and pulls me back down to sit on the edge.

"He said no. He doesn't want you to go, and he doesn't want you to worry."

"Bullshit. I need to be there with him."

"He was adamant. He has Jonah, Trisha, and Paul with him. Ok?" James says cautiously. But I can't accept that. I get back up, but he pushes me right back down again and keeps his hands on my shoulders.

"Julia..."

"James!" I cry. "I need to be there!"

"There's nothing you can do right now. Let's just wait until we hear more."

I can feel it coming. I can feel my body tense up. My breathing shallow. The room begins to shift.

"James. Let. Me. Go." I look around the room. Everything is closing in on me. I can't catch my breath.

"Julia." James can tell I'm on the verge of a panic attack. "Hey... Julia. Look at me. Shit."

"I need... I can't.." I can't focus on anything. I close my eyes and try to regulate my breathing. "James! I can't breathe."

"Yes, you can, Julia. Look at me. You're having a panic attack. That's all it is. It will pass. Babe, look at me."

Everything is happening fast. Everything is spinning. I can't focus. I can't breathe. I feel my body shaking. If this is a panic attack, it is the worst one yet. I try to remember what Jeremy told me to do when I feel this. I don't even want to think about him right now but he gave me tips and they worked. I hate that he knew how to help. I always hate how he knows how to help. Christ, what the hell did he tell me to do?!"

"Julia.... Julia! Shit. Casey!"

I hear Casey's voice, but everything is blurry. I pull at the collar of my shirt. I can't stop the room from shifting.

I can't breathe.

******

*Nate*

Sometimes, being a celebrity has it perks. I know they took me right into a room for a reason. To avoid mass pandemonium. The timing of my arrival was anything but good as a whole teenage girl's volleyball team gathers in the waiting room for two girls who collided during a game. Shit. This is gonna hit the internet in 25 seconds.

I'm noticed right away. My baseball cap did nothing for me tonight. The shrieks are high as the girls see me walk through with now not only my personal bodyguard but two in front and one more behind Paul.

"Right this way, sir." A nurse escorts me down the hall. "You have quite a fan club out there!"

"Apparently."

"Ok. Let's get you situated." The RN goes through the routine. Checks my vitals while talking to Jonah. Apparently, they know each other well.

"Please.. if you can get the tests started quickly, Colleen, I'd really appreciate it." Jonah says to his colleague.

"Of course. We'll get you taken care of right away, Mr. Hollan." Colleen says while writing my vital down in a chart. "Do you usually have high blood pressure?"

Both Colleen and Jonah look at the high numbers on the machine. I nod, but my blood pressure is high. Too high. And now I'm nervous. Too nervous.

"Ok..." Colleen sighs at my vitals. "Let's start with an EKG and then get a chest x-ray." She says to another nurse behind her. He nods and begins to get me ready, sticking little pads all over my body to connect the wires.

"I said I'm fine now!! Let go!" The voice echoes down the hallway. We ALL hear the familiar voice.

"You've got to be kidding me." Trisha shakes her head and looks my way, hoping maybe I wouldn't recognize the voice and who it belongs to. Paul stands straighter and tenses up.

"I'll go see." He volunteers as Trisha pinches the tension between her eyes.

"What? I don't get it." Jonah looks confused, like a joke he's not in on.

I scratch the back of my head and inhale sharply, literally FEELING my blood pressure rise now.

"Why would she be here?" Trisha ignores Jonah.

"I'm not sure. Something happened. Maybe they couldn't handle her there."

"Who?" Jonah needs in on who we are talking about.

"Cara." Both me and Trisha say in unison.

"You need to calm down." I hear the second familiar voice and my stomach churns.

I cough again and bright red spatters on my hand.

"Sir.." The male nurse looks at my hand and then back up at me. Apparently, he didn't read the chart as to why I'm here in the first place by the look of shock on his face.

"Nate? Nate? That's my brother! Wait!!" Cara notices me and shoves Jeremy out of the way. She is like Julia. She may be little, but when that adrenaline kicks in, she is 3x as strong. She shoves the nurse out of the way and barges in right as I cough up more blood.

Jeremy stands behind her, also stunned for a moment. I look up at Cara, who has a nasty cut on her forehead that needs attention.

What the hell is happening tonight?!

********

*Julia*

"What the hell is happening tonight?!" Casey's eyes widen when she reads a text that comes in.

James was able to calm me down. My episode was short-lived but scary. The worst one yet. It could be the new meds or the fact that my fiancé is in the hospital, coughing up blood. I sit in the living room bouncing my knee nervously while Maggie is right at my feet.

"That was a bad one, sweetie. I've never seen it that bad." James fumbles with his hand but is able to wipe my hair off the side of my face, stuck to tears. I always feel bad when this stuff happens in front of James. He gets so worried and doesn't know how to handle it in the moment. There have been so many times, especially when I was going through withdrawals, when James had to leave the room and let Nate take over.

"I've never felt it like that before." I respond while watching Casey pace the living room and read her texts.

"Nate seems stable. His blood pressure is high, but that's to be expected. Apparently, his sister is also in the ER." Casey explains, trying to downplay it now that I'm finally calm. "I guess Jeremy is with her. She had an episode and was out of control." She pauses and looks down at the new text that just popped up. "Oh good. Nate's EKG is normal."

Both James and I let out a sigh of relief, but I'm still concerned.

"Cara.." Casey goes on. "Apparently, she hit her head on the corner of her nightstand fighting with a doctor. They think she needs stitches."

"Fight - fighting with a doctor?" James stutters and looks at me. My eyes widen. Jeremy was with Cara.

"What if...." My heart begins to pound heavy again. "What if she was fighting OFF a doctor?"

"Hey, we don't know details yet, ok? Don't jump to conclusions." James reminds me, and Maggie jumps up on to my lap. She wants my attention or is trying to distract me from overthinking. That dog senses everything. I nod at Maggie and begin to pet her and cry at the same time. James brings me in and wraps his arms around me to comfort me while Casey continues her pacing. If Jeremy did something to Nate's little sister and then gets away with it like he did with me that will tear Nate to pieces.

"Nate's going in for a chest X-ray now. They are doing all the right things, Julia." She looks at me sympathetically.

I should be at the hospital with Nate. I should be there with Cara. For Cara. Especially if Jeremy Donovan is there.

"What do you think it could be, Case?" James asks for me, having that best friend ability to apparently read my mind.

"I mean. It could be something really minor. A small cut in his throat. It wasn't like he was gushing blood or throwing it up. It was very light."

Both me and James think back to that night at the Marriott. It was actually the night of James's 37th birthday. And it was our first argument - me and James...

****

"He was fricken drunk and passed out. He didn't know if he was coming or going. You saw him. He was a mess. Show some compassion." I glare at him.

"Compassion is one thing. I'm not gonna bend over backward for a guy who's in love with you. You DO see where I'm coming from, don't you?" James doesn't yell, ever, but I can tell he doesn't agree with one thing I'm saying.

"He's a person. With feelings. And a problem. He would do anything to help me."

"Again, Julia, because he's in love with you."

"This conversation is ridiculous." I stand up. "I'm gonna go check on him to make sure he's fine." I storm away.

"Julia... Come on.."

I ignore James and get in the elevator. I guess this is our first fight. On his birthday. About Nate of all things.

I head to my room and unlock my door. The bathroom door is open, and Nate is on the ground, literally hugging the toilet and getting sick. I rush to him and kneel down.

"Hey , it's ok." I rub his back while he convulses into the toilet bowl.

I grab a hotel face clothes wet it to wipe Nate's mouth for him. I didn't notice at first because I wasn't particularly looking into the toilet. Nate's throwing up blood. A lot of blood.

"Oh my God, Nate!" My eyes go wide at the sight.

"I don't know what's happening, Jules." He keeps throwing it up.

I scramble to my feet and reach up to the counter to get my phone.

"James, you need to come up here! He's throwing up blood!" I yell into the phone before James even has a chance to say hello.

"Shit," He says and hangs up.

"It's ok." I rub his back as he continues. He knows it's not ok. He rests his head on the rim of the bowl, not caring about being sanitary, to catch his breath, and keeps his eyes closed. I frantically grab a clean towel and wet it to put on his forehead for him.

"Thanks, Jules." He says with his eyes closed.

James rushes in to see what's going on. The toilet is filled with Nate's blood. He stopped throwing up, but something is clearly wrong.

"Jesus. He needs to go to the E.R." James reaches over us and flushes the toilet.

"I can't go to the E.R. James." Nate mumbles. "If I go, it will be all over the news. You don't understand." He looks up at James with the saddest eyes I've ever seen. He's scared. As he should be.

"You don't have much of a choice, pal. You could be internally bleeding." James pulls Nate up, but he's weak from being sick and leans on the counter. I have no idea how long he was sick for.

*****

"What a scary time that was....when Nate threw up blood in the hotel." I think back and say out loud. James nods, knowing exactly what I'm talking about.

"I never apologized for that night. I'm sorry I was so rude." James is apologizing for that? None of it was his fault. If anything, he could have just gotten help for Nate and walked away from the situation completely. Walk away from the drama. Walk away from me. But he didn't. And he stayed calm through it all. That's the thing with James. He has the ability to stay calm, unlike Nate and I. Very few times have I seen James lose his cool, one of them being when he was supposed to drive me to the hospital to get admitted and couldn't do it. He hit the steering wheel of the car, swore and took me back to his house instead.

"You're not serious. James, we were both on edge. If anything, you need a birthday redo."

James doesn't make a sexual comeback for that. He knows now is not the time. He also knows I'm trying real hard to stay in 'Friend Mode' with him. So far I've been doing well with that. I think it has really helped me mentally, too.

Unfortunately, because I'm trying so hard, I force myself to spend less time with James. Aside from our flirtatious ways when I help him shower, I take care of him but I leave his bedroom right away after I help him get dressed in the morning. I don't sit next to him on the couch very often anymore. Tonight being an exception. And I don't lay with him to help him fall asleep at night.

Nights are the worst for James. The neurologist said his brain is still healing and is tired at night. He fumbles with his speech more, as well as his coordination, and becomes very frustrated and emotional later in the evening. Instead of laying down with him until he falls asleep like he wants, we pushed the recliner right next to his bed for me to sit and I hold his hand. Sometimes I talk to him. Sometimes I will play music on my phone. Sometimes I will console him by rubbing his back. But I haven't been close to him in awhile.

"Nate's gonna be ok. He's young and takes care of himself now." James tries to console me and I nod, resting my head on his shoulder. I haven't sat close to him in so long but need my best friend right now.

"But what if the damage is already done? Between his dad and the alcohol.."

"You can't think like that, Julia" Casey stops her pacing and sits down on the other side of the couch. "I've seen so many patients much worse, much older than Nate bounce back from all sorts of stuff, you wouldn't believe it."

She's right. I need to stop being pessimistic. It's just naturally how my mind works, though, thinking the worst-case scenario.

Because that's what usually happens in my world.

******