*Julia*

"Did something specific happen to light a fire under you like this?" Jeremy asks.

I stare at the unlit gas firepit and feel my face redden. I hate that I'm so easily readable to everyone.

"I'm not answering that."

"But something DID happen to make you insist on needing a plan. Nate told me you needed him to come up with a plan for your future together." The doctor patiently waits for me to respond.

"I just --" My shoulders sag, and I glance up at Jeremy then stare at Maggie playing in the distance. I leave him hanging though by not finishing my sentence.

"Ok. You don't have to tell me. Let's focus on you and your plans. No one else's. Where do you see yourself in five years. And don't say dead again. That answer won't work because I know you no longer think that. So, lying to me is going to get you nowhere."

I look back at Jeremy who has his eyebrows raised at me in a knowing manner.

"I don't see myself dead." I begin. "I - I don't know. Here. I guess. I've accepted that I need to be here...probably forever. So yeah, I see myself here."

"Good. What else?"

I take a minute to think. Mainly because I've never thought about it before this moment.

"I feel like..." I pause when the clouds break, and the sun hits my face. I close my eyes and feel it's warmth just like James always does. Jeremy waits patiently, well into therapist mode.

"I feel like I can see clearly now." I open my eyes. I don't answer his question, but he seems ok with that. "It's weird."

"But it's good. It's a good feeling, right?" Jeremy smiles proudly at me. "So now you feel like because you're healing and willing to live and see a future for yourself, you need to know what that future could look like."

I hate it when he knows what he is talking about, which is always. I nod, unsure where to go from here.

"You have so many options, you know that? SO many opportunities, Julia." His smile doesn't waver, like he's finally seeing the fruit of his efforts with me. "Right here. At the Avalon."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Well, for instance, you are doing a great job caring for Michael during his detox. You are a good caretaker to James as well. You could be beneficial here, helping others."

"And if I have a bipolar episode or a setback? Do I no longer see clearly and go back to feeling like I'm the next Eric Furgeson all over again??"

"I can't answer that question. But you can't think like that, Jule. Because you ARE bipolar and WILL have setbacks. But everyone has setbacks in life. The good thing is...you can think of this moment right here and know you can get back to this."

"Yeah, maybe." I glance into the house and see the men talking. "Where does that leave me with all of them?"

"ALL of them??? You mean not just James and Nate??"Jeremy eyes me.

Shit. I slipped up. I drop my head into my hands but not to cry. Just out of embarrassment really.

"Jule, what happened?" Jeremy asks again.

******

*Nate*

"You're ignoring Trisha." Paul looks down at his own phone and up at me which means Trisha was sending me messages and now texting him to get someone's attention.

Christ. I look down at my phone and see a missed call and two text messages from her. I'm supposed to meet with Richard. This is the type of shit Julia's talking about. Having to leave her when she needs me, though it doesn't look like she needs me at all right now, does she?

[Cancel it.] I respond back to Trisha.

[Nate, I can't. This is to go over the Safe Haven music video. You know this. If you don't show up and plead your case you WILL be working with Mila Giovanni.]

"Shit."

"Go. I've got it here." Paul says.

"I'm sure you do." I snap and watch his eyes darken with a fleck of anger.

"What's that, boss?" He narrows his eyes at me.

"Nothing. Tell Trish I'm on my way."

I text Ren who apparently never left the premises, and head out to the backyard to let Julia know I need to leave. I should have never been snarky with Paul. It's petty and childish and he's been a good man to me for over ten years. Me jumping to conclusions without having facts made me look foolish. But I don't have time to right my wrong at the moment though do make a mental note to talk to the bodyguard at some point today.

When I get outside, I see Julia in deep conversation with Jeremy. He keeps his distance by sitting in the chair across from her with a round fire pit between the two of them and stays professional.

"I'm sorry, Jule. I have to go. Richard is having a cow, and I can't miss this specific meeting." The sadness in my voice is noticed by both. Julia looks at Jeremy with what looks like an 'See what I mean?' type expression on her face then turns back to me. Like they were discussing my lack of being here for her.

"Can we PLEASE talk later?" I beg, and she shrugs.

"Yeah, go to your meeting. I'll be..." Julia pauses for dramatics. "Here. Like always."

"Jule..." My throat tightens.

"Go, Nate. We'll talk later." She closes her eyes and tilts her head when she feels the warmth of the sun shine on her face. I frown and quickly exit, hopping into Ren's SUV to get to the studio.

To my surprise, when we pull up to the studio, I see two black security SUVs parked behind and in front of a luxury limo. It's not uncommon to have celebrities here either to practice, take advantage of the high-end recording studios, for radio interviews upstairs or have big-wig meetings in one of the soundproof private conference rooms, but I have a bad feeling in my stomach about this one being here the exact same time as my meeting is scheduled.

Eyes and Ears everywhere, Nate. I don't have a bodyguard with me. Paul is with Julia, Evan's with Trisha, so I feel a bit exposed right now. But right when Ren pulls up to the front doors, Evan and Trisha both come out to meet me. Like they've been watching out for my arrival.

Trisha looks flustered and pale, though dressed to impress in a hot pink silky sleeveless top and black pencil skirt with black stockings. Legs and heels for days. Her hair is pinned back in a professional ponytail and make-up perfect.

Because I had known about this meeting, though I was hoping Trisha would be able to cancel it, I am also dressed well for it wearing a navy suit with a lighter blue dress shirt and red tie. Evan is in complete bodyguard mode, looking sharp with black on black on black.

"Shit's gonna hit the fan, Nate." Trisha says almost out of breath. I shake my head at her, reminding her of the Eyes and Ears everywhere. She nods in understanding but has a worried look on her face.

"Meeting starts in ten minutes. Let's go to your private room and talk so I can update you." Trisha talks and walks fast. I try to keep up with her, though begin coughing a little harder by the time we get to my room.

Once the door is closed, Trisha whips around.

"Why are you so wound-up, Trish? What's going on. It's a stupid meeting." I try to catch my breath and grab a water from my mini- fridge.

"Yeah, that's what I was told. He's so fucking conniving."

"Who, Richard? Yeah, that's not new news sweetheart." I joke but Trisha is not in the mood. She throws her arms up in the air.

"He is making a deal with Mila Giovanni. She's fucking here for the meeting, Nate!!"

THAT'S who's parked outside? FUCK.

"What do you mean, he's making a deal? " I lean against the counter feeling my heart pounding harder now.

"Me and Elliott were having one of our stupid routine meetings when Richard decided to come into the room. He said there was a change of plans and to make sure you made this upcoming meeting, that it had to do with Mila and the Safe Haven music video. Damn it, Nate, I tried calling AND texting you!" She rattles off.

"Sorry. Things were-"

"It doesn't matter." Trisha interrupts. "I physically watched Mila and her entourage walk down the hallway into the conference room. She didn't see me. He's making a fucking deal with her. I just know it Nate."

"Shit." I nervously scratch the back of my neck and feel my stomach tie up in a knot.

"Elliott is still here. He is going to sit in on the meeting." Trisha grabs her laptop quickly and takes a deep inhale.

"Don't I have a say in who I want in the video?" I whisper as we walk out and into the hall.

"Usually yes. But this is Richard we are talking about."

"Shit." I repeat.

"Cmon, playboy. Time to face the music." Trisha opens the conference room door and the first person I make eye contact with is Mila. As always, she looks stunning. She is, in fact, a supermodel for a reason. Her long dark hair flows down her back in waves, and she wears a deep red skintight top tucked into black leather pants with black boots. Sitting next to her are two of her managers and her personal assistant, ready to type away on her laptop.

On the other side of the long table is Richard, his P.A., Elliott, and a man I have never met. The man appears to be a little older than me with a Ryan Gosling average look to him. Light brown hair, goatee, nothing fancy about him aside from his high-end black suit. The man is also the first to stand when we enter the room.

"Mr. Hollan," The Ryan Gosling lookalike stretches across Richard to shake my hand. "Very nice to meet you."

"And you are?" I shake his hand but glare at Richard, knowing he has something up his sleeve. Richard finally stands, along with Elliott who greets me pleasantly.

"Right. This is Grant Berkeley. He will be producing the Safe Haven Video." Richard introduces the man.

I turn and greet Mila with a slight nod to be polite before sitting down. Trisha purposely sits next to her for me and I sit next to Trisha. Evan joins the two bodyguards Mila brought with her by the conference room door.

Seeing Mila brings a whole world of different memories, both good and bad. Seeing her brings me back to a time when I was out of control - drinking, being careless, as well as the terrible way I treated Julia. I have a DUI and suspended license from my reckless behavior, deceived my fans by the publicity stunt and let things go too far. I was beginning to have real feelings for Mila Giovanni and seeing her now reminds me of that.

I look around the room for the little old lady that always accompanied Mila as her translator, but she is not here. I cock a brow with confusion and lean into the table a little more to look past Trisha to see Mila.

"No translator?" I ask the Italian model. She shakes her head and flashes me a proud smile.

"I- uh. Been studying. I can speak and understand more." Her thick Italian accent replies.

Great. Within a few months she fucking learned how to speak English too? One less barrier. Just love-fucking-ly.

"Lets get down to it, shall we?" Richard is ready to begin the meeting. "Ratings were unbelievable with the Heartbreak Hotel video. I want the same to happen this time around. Mila. You brought in quite a fanbase working with Hollan and I have no doubt this time will be just as rewarding."

"I'm happy to be a part of it all, Mr. Benson." Mila responds. Shit. She really can speak English now.

"Wait." My eyes dart from Richard's to Elliott's. "So, she's definitely going to be in the video??" A hard lump forms in my throat.

"We had a previous meeting with Mila and her team, yes." Richard smiles at the beautiful woman.

"I don't think this is a good idea. No offense Mila, but Richard... I get a say in who stars in MY music videos. Correct?" I feel Trisha tap my thigh under the table, reminding me who I am dealing with here and to reel it in.

"Many factors come in to play, Mr. Hollan." Richard peers at me knowing he's getting under my skin. "and..." He throws an evil smile my way. "The contract has been signed. Welcome aboard Ms. Giovanni."

*****

*Julia*

I didn't confide in Jeremy like I probably would have when I first met him. No, that trust is long gone. So, a lot of his questions went unanswered, and he knows nothing about well... anything. I'm drained and tired and know eventually Mike is going to need my help. As is James.

Not surprisingly, Paul is the one helping James with his lunch. I look beyond them to see Mike sitting up in his cot shaking and sweating, but with a blanket around him like he is freezing. Detox is one of the hardest things I've had to go through, so I sympathize with the man. Trevor is STILL here and looks to be taking care of Mike for me, by holding out a water bottle for him to take sips of. Mike is eating a few Ritz crackers which is a good sign. It's like the whole place came together for each other while I was outside talking to Jeremy. It's a whole team effort.

"You need to eat something." Jeremy chirps behind me. Paul has already made me a sandwich and pushes the plate my way. I roll my eyes and sit across from James who seems to be doing well holding his own sandwich. Like every other time, I eye the plate of food trying to do the math on how many calories I'd be consuming.

"Babe, just eat. You can burn off the calories in the gym later." James can read my mind, and I hate that. I give him a snarky look and take a bite of my sandwich. Jeremy stands at the table to observe how much I eat while Paul leans back to grab my chart on the counter to log it in.

"I can take you to the afternoon session if you'd like, James." Trevor announces from the living room.

Thank God because I really am not ready to attend these sessions yet and will do anything to get out of them. But James really likes going and is like the popular guy on campus now, making friends left and right. He was probably Prom King and voted Most Popular in High School, wasn't he?

"You WILL need to start attending your own meetings once Michael is finished with detox." Jeremy is the one to read my mind now which irritates me.

"Yup. Whatever." I take another bite of my sandwich and see James smirk at me.

"I'm ready when you are." James turns to Trevor now who hands Mike his water bottle and stands.

"Julia? Do you want to start now? Attend this session with us?" Dr. Tremont asks.

I shake my head, even though Mike lays back down on his side and curls up to try to sleep, not needing my help.

"Suit yourself." Trevor responds.

"I need to check on a few patients. Keep eating and I'll check in on things later." Jeremy follows them out.

"I'm sure you will." I sound like Nate with some of my sarcastic remarks and watch the three of them leave my apartment, leaving me at the kitchen table with Paul. I feel myself getting anxious. We need to talk, Paul and I, but I don't even know what to say. I stare at Paul who in return, stares at me without saying one word. He's waiting for me to initiate the conversation, isn't he?

I'm the first to look away. I immediately clean up from lunch and then walk to my bedroom. Paul caught on quick, knowing Mike is still awake and whatever needs to be said should be in private. Like always, I begin to pace back and forth across the room. I try not to, but anxiety is high today. Not one minute later, Paul arrives and closes the door behind him. He stands by the door with his arms crossed, watching me pace. I repeat what I've been saying all day.

"I don't know what's happening." I say softly as to not bother Mike in the other room, but continue to pace instead of look Paul in the eye.

"I do." Paul walks over to face me and puts both hands on my shoulders to stop me in my tracks. I look away from my bodyguard with trepidation.

"You're no longer detoxing. You're no longer in pain or have any major obstacles in your way. You can see clearly now. I heard Jeremy talking out there. He's right. You're getting better, Moretti."

"Then why do I feel so all over the place?" I ask.

Paul moves his hands up to my jawline, tilting my head up slightly so I have no choice but to make eye contact.

"Because you have choices. And you suck at making decisions for yourself." He answers quietly.

"I don't even know how you came into the mix." Which is true. All of a sudden, Paul went from being my bodyguard to more within days, taking me by surprise. How long as he felt an attraction towards me? What is Trisha going to think about that? Or Nate?

"You make things much more difficult for me, you know that?" I back away from him and plop down on my bed, mentally exhausted.

"I've always been on Team Hollan," Paul begins and sits next to me.

"We have teams now?" I snicker. Figures. It's always been one big game.

"It's always been Team Nate or Team James. Team James lost a while ago. I've known Nate for a very long time. I respect him. I consider him a friend. A good one. Family."

Paul doesn't say much but when he does, you listen. I sit here and give him all my attention. He's pleading his case, isn't he?

"Nate can take care of you." Paul surprises me again and turns to the side so we are somewhat facing each other. "When he is here......"

I swallow hard hearing that punchline. The four key words. When he is here.

"He's in love with you. You were in love with him." He continues, but the way he said the word 'were' throws me for a loop. "You're not in love with him anymore, Julia."

"Fuck you, Paul." I deadpan and squint my eyes when I see the slightest of smiles form on Paul's face."

"I had a feeling you would say that." He takes both my hands in his. "He's Nate. Everyone loves Nate. Just like everyone loves James. But you need more than just love and you see that now."

Christ, is EVERYONE going to be spot on today?

"You used to think he was the only one who knew how to take care of you. And maybe for a while that was true. But that's no longer the case. So yeah, you have choices to make now. And you fucking suck at making choices so you will drive yourself crazy over it." He strokes my cheek and sighs a little. "I never want to hurt Nate. Or Trisha for that matter. But soon they will go on tour. She'll have him all to herself like she has always wanted..." Paul's words trail off.

I furrow my brows and look away, but a tear escapes in the process. I know this already. That's why Nate and I discussed taking a break while he was traveling. Because of Trisha. And James. And I know full well Trisha is madly in love with Nate and probably always will be. I have a feeling that played a part on why her and James didn't work out.

"You need someone that can love AND care for you 24/7, not just when they're around. You need..." Paul pauses and leans in a little closer to me. "Stability."

All the decisions spinning in my head stop from hearing that word come out of Paul.

"I'm putting myself on the line here, Julia. I could lose my job and a good friend. But I can take care of you. I can give you the stability you need. I'll always keep you safe, no matter what. I'll always protect you regardless of your decision. That will never change." He closes the gap and presses his lips to mine making me feel all sorts of things I shouldn't be feeling. I close my eyes and can't help but enjoy the sensation for a moment before coming to my senses and backing away.

"Why are you telling me all this now?!" I breathe out.

"Because you're ready to hear it."

*******