*Julia*

They say dreams are mental experiences that occur during sleep, involving images, emotions, and sensations. Dr. Tremont goes over the basics with me after my sleep study. He is smart, like Jeremy, and sometimes talks in the same "doctor" tone as well- over explaining everything.

"A nightmare is an unsettling dream that can cause feelings of fear, anxiety, or terror. A night terror is a sleep disorder where a person wakes up from a deep sleep in a state of extreme fear, often accompanied by screaming, thrashing, and confusion while still partially asleep. And PTSD night terrors are intense, frightening sleep episodes that often involve reliving traumatic memories, causing feelings of panic and fear, and can manifest as sudden screaming, essentially acting out the trauma during sleep. The brain struggles to process traumatic experiences even during non-conscious sleep states. Symptoms can be severe and interfere with normal life."

"See this? You experienced physical reactions like rapid heart rate, sweating, and even physical attempts to escape the perceived threat." Trevor sits at my kitchen table and shows me sheet after sheet of printed paper with graphs documenting what happened in my sleep. Nate is on as a Zoom call on my laptop because he is not feeling well. He certainly doesn't look too good right now. Jonah is in the background, listening and taking notes, asking questions when needed. Jeremy, thank God, has not shown his face. James and Paul listen intently.

Trevor sits next to me and lowers his voice. "And this right here? That's when Jeremy came in."

My eyes widen at the brain waves and numbers, all spiking up in fear. "Shit." I swallow hard. I knew I was afraid of him but never knew to that extent. Some days are better than others. Some days, I let my guard down completely. Not last night, apparently.

"This one." He points to another graph highlighted. "This is when you fell asleep. The technician noted it was exactly five minutes after holding my hand. You calmed down and felt safe. See how everything drops back into the appropriate range? You rely on other people to calm you down. We're going to work on that, ok?"

I nod but think, sure, pal. We've tried everything.

"So what's this then?" James looks over at one of the graphs and points to waves in red.

"That is at two in the morning, the very beginning of her night terror. There was no gradual increase, Julia, which is concerning. You went from zero to one hundred with your anxiety within seconds."

"Sounds about right." Nate says through the laptop and then coughs.

"It's a shock to her system." Trevor looks at Nate. "Going from a completely calm and relaxed state of mind to sheer panic in one breath. Usually, the numbers gradually rise as the dream progresses. You went from dreaming of something pleasant to bang- car crash. I've never seen anything like it."

I frown. That's exactly how it is in my head. I also feel defeated hearing the doctor say he's never seen anything like it. I'm sick of being the rare case. The puzzle no one can put back together.

"Has Jeremy ever tried CBT with you? Cognitive behavioral therapy? Relaxation techniques?"

I nod. "Yeah, we started sessions, and they were working. But then- you know..." I close my eyes for a second to contain my emotions. "Shit happened."

I hear Paul let out a little sigh with a shake of the head. Because everyone saw things WERE working. I was starting to recover. Then Jeremy went off the deep end and messed me up. I've tried and tried to trust him to continue my therapy, but like I said, every day is different for me.

"Right." Trevor lets out his own sigh. "Let's start there, ok? We need to find ways to reel you back in when you have these episodes. Bring you back to the here and now, yeah? Let me do some more research on it, and we can meet up this afternoon. Unfortunately, Jeremy is more knowledgeable with sleep issues and CBT than I am."

"Oooooff course he is...." I say with sarcasm.

"But if we work together... we can help. I'm not asking you to trust him or even be in a room alone with him. I am asking you to use his brain to your benefit. Everything else aside, He IS an extremely educated man." Trevor ignores everyone and looks right at me now, but I stare at Nate through the screen as he continues to cough and try to catch his breath.

"But Julia, you also need therapy BECAUSE of him. Talk therapy with someone OTHER than him. You will never heal if you don't follow the basic steps."

"No shit Sherlock." I cross my arms. I'm not an idiot.

"I really need you to open up to me." Trevor says.

Nate gives me a little nod after his coughing fit, agreeing with the doctor.

"I'm trying."

"I know you are, love."

*****
As the morning goes on, I notice I don't see Jeremy. Not during the morning session or here in the cafeteria for breakfast. I always get this awful pit in my stomach when I don't have an eye on the guy. I'm not sure why. He gets days off, but still. I want to ask him why he was at my sleep study.

"Hey Sunshine, looking for your prince charming?" Mike slides his tray onto the table and sits across from me and James. "You look like shit."

"Gee, thanks." I study Mike's face for a second. Something is different with him.

"Where were you all night? You missed game night in the rec room." Mike scoffs. He knows we both think these events are lame and usually go to his room and fool around instead. I haven't done anything with him since I moved into the apartment. I think he was expecting me to knock on his door like usual.

"Game night?" James raises his eyebrows then rolls his eyes. "Seriously? They think this is pediatrics or something."

"Who knows. No one wants to play Monopoly and detox at the same time, I can guarantee it." I answer.

"So you actually go to those things?" James asks.

"Not a shot in hell." I huff and help James with his toast.

"Nah, we go back to "my place" and fuck."

If there was ever a time to invest in a muzzle for Mike now would be the time. I can already tell my face is three shades redder. Mike is acting extra obnoxious this morning. James practically drops his toast and eyes me.

"You're something." He laughs at me.

"Says the one who's yearbook quote was probably 'if it feels good and you want to forget shit for a little while go for it..." I poke fun of James.

"Touche. You've got me there." He smiles and nudges me a little letting me know he really doesn't care who I sleep with so long as I stay healthy and clean.

"Ugh." Mike takes a deep breath. "Incoming."

Jeremy waltzes in and eyes me but checks a few patients. He NEVER does that. Which means he knows I am going to ask him about last night. He takes a good five minutes before heading my way.

"Wow, that's a first." James notices the doctor stalling.

"Hey Julia. Michael... James." Jeremy acknowledges everyone at my lonely table.

"Yeah, cut the bullshit. Why were you at my sleep study?" I squint my eyes at the doctor.

"I wanted to make sure the tech knew what to look for. Why was Trevor in your room??"

"Ohh, the plot thickens." Mike takes a bite out of his bagel and gives James a little wink of the eye.

"You know why. I can't sleep alone. And YOU know WHY." I glare at him, and he says no more.

"Even falling asleep? Jesus, sunshine, you're a mess." Mike snorts.

"Michael...."

"What? She is. You jealous she's got the hots for another doctor and not you?"

My eyes widen. Mike is in rare form today. "What? No...I don't..."

"Ok, Sunshine."

"A word please." Jeremy doesn't ask. He demands. He takes a step back and waits for Mike to stand up.

"Whatever, prick." He follows the doctor out and I look at James.

"Sorry." I apologize on my friend's behalf. "He's never acted like THAT before."

"Julia..."

"James."

James shakes his head at me but I look at him with confusion.

"God, you didn't see the guy's eyes? He took something. His pinpoint pupils give him away."

"What? No. There's no way. Security is tight here. He couldn't get his hands on anything if he tried."

"Babe, there's always a way."

I think how Mike told me he smuggled a cell phone here. Some people are allowed to have one but some are not. He is one of them, being a convict and all.

I suddenly feel nervous for Mike. If James can tell he took something Jeremy sure as hell can. Mike finally detoxed completely.

"What do you think will happen?"

"With that guy? Probably throw him in jail. He's a felon on probation or something, isn't he?"

I feel sick to my stomach. Mike is a good guy. He really is. But like me, he's an addict. He doesn't belong in jail. Murderers and rapists belong in jail. Not someone with an addiction problem.

"Wait here." I stand up but then look down at James. "Shit. No. You can't stay here alone. C'mon. You can eat at my place."

I grab his tray and rush out of the cafeteria. James practically has to run to catch up to me as I do the math in my head. It takes 15 minutes to get to the other side of the building to my apartment so I can drop James off to Paul and then 15 minutes to get to Jeremy's office.

"Shit, I don't have time." I say in a frantic way.

"Julia, what's going on?"

"If Jeremy writes him up, his probation officer is going to throw him in prison. I need to stop Jeremy."

"Why do you care?"

"Because James," I round the corner, making sure I don't drop anything from the tray of food. "He's an addict not a fucking convict."

I bang on Jeremy's door with my free hand but don't wait and barge in. Mike is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, his hair covering so I can't see his face. Jeremy is pacing back and forth with his phone in his hand, clearly debating with himself on what to do.

"Julia. Not a good time. Go." The doctor shakes his head. I put James's tray on the desk, and he sits down to watch the drama unfold.

"Here. Finish eating." I gently put the toast back in James's hands and wait patiently for his grip before walking over to Jeremy.

I swipe his phone right out of Jeremy's hands and hold it.

"Julia!" Jeremy has a shocked look on his face.

"He made a mistake."

"He's high as a kite."

"He MADE a MISTAKE! Don't do this, Jeremy."

"Jule, I have to. By law I-"

"By law? Fuck the law Jeremy! You raped me twice and you're still standing here a free man."

I shock myself with my own words. Bipolar Boldness coming out strong today.

"Mike has an addiction problem! Just like me! He doesn't belong in prison, and you know it."

I catch myself off guard saying that out loud and Jeremy pretends he didn't hear what I said. Mike lifts his head, and for the first time ever, I witness tears streaming down his face.

"Will you put me in jail too if I slip up??" I glare at the doctor.

"Julia, this is different. He's a convict."

"He's a PERSON!!" I find myself always having to remind people here this. Mike is a human being. He's here for a reason. To get help.

"I need to report this. I'm sorry." Jeremy reaches for his phone but I back away, still glaring at him.

"I thought you were changing. I thought you were getting help and trying to do better. You're so full of shit, you know that?! You have a choice. Let this one mistake slide. Do your job and help a patient with his addiction in a FUCKING REHAB FACILITY. Or make the call and ruin his life forever. But I swear to God, Jeremy. If you choose to make that phone call I'm done. I'm out of here and I'm not coming back. So you can send him to jail and fucking send me to my grave because you KNOW what will happen if I don't get the help I need. I'm one foot in the grave already, and you know it. Is that what you want? Wanna ruin my life, too?"

"Jule..." Jeremy says softly with sympathetic eyes. "I have to do what's right."

"Do you? What's right is to show compassion. I will help him detox, ok? You don't even have to do anything. I will. Just please......let this one go."

******

*Nate*

After the Zoom call, I lay back down on the couch. It's eleven in the morning, but I can't even think of mustering up the energy to go to the ER for an x-ray. This illness hit me fast.

"Half an hour. Rest for a half hour, and then I will help you get ready." Jonah is persistent.

"I've already let the hospital know you are coming today. They will have security ready." Trisha is always right on top of everything.

"And Paul will have your own security team there as well." Evan adds.

"It's just a cold. Mom and Dad are overreacting." I close my eyes.

"Maybe we are, but better to be on top of this." Jonah continues, and they let me rest for a bit. I'm still camped out in the living room. I don't really know why I do this when I'm sick. I just feel more comfortable around people. Everyone does their own thing around me. Evan is making coffee. Trisha is making pancakes for a late breakfast. Casey is flipping through the channels half-asleep still, and Jonah is already inhaling breakfast number one of a bowl of cereal before he eats pancakes.

Evan flirts here and there with Trisha, but she doesn't flirt back like she usually does, which makes me think maybe she isn't taking a break from Noah the firefighter after all.

My roommates all halt and freeze instantly when I cough. This one was loud. And it's one cough after another before I can catch my breath. I sit up and make a fist to cover my mouth as I continue hacking.

"Shit. Jonah!" Casey jumps up when she looks at me. I already know why she jumped up. I can taste the metallic in my mouth and look down at my fist, now covered in bright red. This is more than just a tinge of blood.

Trisha is by my side before Jonah can even comprehend it yet, and Evan turns off the stove.

"Nate." She stares at my fist.

"Ok. That's too much. Time to go." Jonah jumps up.

"I'm fine. I'm too tired."

"Don't care. It's you walk in on your own two feet or I call a rescue. I'm not kidding."

I can tell Jonah is serious. I nod, and he helps me to my feet. But I'm too fatigued and dizzy and sit back down on the couch. I hunch over coughing again and blood splatters on the hardwood floor.

Fucking hell.

"Oh my God!" Trisha is already in hysterics.

"Casey." Jonah gives her one look and then looks at the bodyguard, who also seems to know his subliminal message. Casey scrambles to find her phone and calls 911, explaining the situation calmly. She is in nurse mode now.

"Guys, really." I begin to say but am unable to catch my breath. I don't bother finishing my sentence. I let Trisha and Jonah dress me while we wait for the rescue, and Evan calls for reinforcement.

Once ready, I stand up again. But this time, my lightheadedness takes over. I hear the familiar ringing in my ears and begin to black out.

*******

*Julia*

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Jeremy shakes his head in disbelief. "Fine. This is it, though, Michael. You get one chance. You can thank Julia for saving your ass."

I let out the breath I was holding and look at Mike, who has this shocked look to his face. I did it. I got to Jeremy. He's giving Mike a second chance.

"But I need to know one thing and you have to answer. I can already tell what you took, so don't deny it. How did you get heroin in here. Or access to a syringe?"

Mike's eyes widen.

"I- I can't tell you that." He's still high but sobering up fast.

"You need to. Right here and now." Jeremy glares at him.

"No.... you don't understand..."

"Michael. Last chance."

"Mike, just tell him..." I throw my hands up. We've gotten this far. Jeremy just wants to know how this shit is getting into the Avalon.

"Jule....." Tears form in his eyes again. "I really can't."

"Julia, give me my phone." Jeremy demands and shakes his head at Mike. "I told you I needed to know how you got the heroin. I needed to know right here and right now. I'm not playing games."

"MIKE!" My eyes are wide and desperate. He's throwing his life away.

"FINE!" He stands to his feet and begins pacing. "FUCK!

Mike scratches his arm where he injected the drug and continues nervously pacing. Everyone's eyes are on him. James is no longer eating, just staring at the guy as we all wait for his answer.

"I got it from.. Jesus, Julia I can't...."

"I'm trying to help you!!!" I begin to feel my emotions rise up as tears fill my eyes. "Where did you get it? Or, who did you get it from??"

There's another long pause. Mike stops pacing and swallows so hard I can hear it. He looks like he may throw up. Whoever gave it to him is going to be in a huge amount of trouble and we all know it. I can tell the person's name is on the tip of Mike's tongue. He looks at me with sad eyes before he says the name.

"Cara Hollan."

********