Your level of wothe in London is proportional to the intensity of the smell of piss in the air around you.

"Well, ladies, I'm off. See you at the show?" Harry asks while he drags Raven to him by the waist.

"Sure," Raven answers as she marks his entire body with her scent. His eyes glint darkly as he lays his gaze on me.

"Edgar, see you later." He winks and starts for the door. If we didn't have a history, I'd think I was imagining things.

I wish I was imagining things.

I also kind of wish I was at Edward's right now. That would beat third wheeling for Raven and Harry. And Edward has a nice house in a nice neighbourhood, unlike me and Raven, so maybe I'd feel rich if I was there?

"Anyways, how did the shoot go?" Raven asks.

"It went well," I respond.

"Is Edward still a controlling cunt?"

Of course, this was the question she'd wanted to ask from the get-go.

Let's just say, Raven and Edward aren't on very good terms. They haven't been for about two years now after Edward lent Raven quite a bit of money and - to this day - Raven insists that she gave it back. I decided I wasn't going to take part in their game; and, despite my best attempts to be kept out of it, I've been caught in the crossfire ever since.

"I don't want to talk about Edward, Raven."

"Spoilsport! Well, whatever; I didn't want to talk about him either. I'm just genuinely worried about that guy, you know. I feel like he's never going to find happiness if he sticks with his attitude."

I can't do this with Raven, especially because I know her intentions can never be pure where Edward is concerned. If I'm being honest, I think she'd be happy if Edward lost all his money and went blind.

"When do we leave for the concert?"

"I'm worried about you too: you're way too attached to him! And I know he'll just stab you in the back the minute it's convenient."

"Yeah, I don't think Edward would do that."

She raises her hands in surrender. "Your funeral."

She goes to the bathroom and runs the water in the bath. I decide this may be a good time to check my Instagram: my phone has been buzzing with notifications and this is a great opportunity to get rid of them.

Most of the updates are from Edward's little party - the guy lives for the 'Gram. There's a picture of two guys I've never seen making out; another one of him just talking to some couple; a selfie from earlier today; and a video of him downing a bottle of vodka.

One of the things I've always admired about him - from since we were in uni - is how he is able to take his body through the worst of parties, drinking the hardest spirits, yet he still manages to get to every appointment on time the next day.

"What time are we leaving?" I scream.

"I'm almost done!" she screams from the bathroom. "And stop screaming!"

The irony.

I'm not sure I want to take intimate shots with you.

It's the challenge in his voice.

Today was a pretty good day. And if The Press like my work, they might offer me a permanent job! And it's all thanks to Edward.

I wonder if he was right.

Is it possible that the new captain has a thing for me?

I mean, Edward has always said that Thomas Sanders is gay, and he turned out to be right.

I take my camera out and flip through today's photos. I'm surprised with myself when I realise that the first person I notice when I pull the pictures up is the captain.

Do I have a thing for him?

How is this for can't do anything intimate?

It's the challenge in his voice!

It's the way the words just blend into each other and simply glide out of his lips!

Maybe I have the hots for the guy.

"Fuck that."

I jump from my seat when I hear Raven's voice behind me. She walks to the kitchen completely naked, pulling open the fridge and grabbing a salad. Then, she looks me sternly in the eye.

"Why did you bring that stupid jock into my home?"

I hear myself whimper. "The more pressing question is: why are you naked in the kitchen?"

She blinks multiple times and stares at me blankly, perplexed by my question. "...because this is my house?"

"So now I must look at your disgusting body?"

"You don't have to."

I rub my fingers to my temple. "Please go get dressed?"

She obliges, taking the salad with her and not forgetting to let me know that she hates me more than anything. "Oh, and there's a Pepsi in the fridge! You can have that!"

Raven comes out ten minutes later sporting her D.I.Y. denim jacket and black jeans and she tells me that we can go. "Who was that guy you were looking at in your camera?"

"Which guy? The footballers?"

"Yeah. But there was the one you had a picture of alone."

"I have no idea." I smile.

"You can tell me these things, you know."

"No, really. I don't know his name. He's the new captain of Chelsea F.C. or whatever."

"Okay." She smiles back. "Do you like him?"

I choke and she doesn't help me recover as she stares at me blankly - though for a second, I'm sure her eyes darken with anger - with a single eyebrow shot up. When I finally manage to recover, I reply: "No. Why would you say that?"

"No reason."

Raven has a complicated relationship with anyone that knows how to kick a ball. I assume it's because she had a lot of hyper-masculine men constantly take advantage of her when she was at the height of her addiction - a helpless, homeless girl and big men with a fetish for tiny girls who will stroke their egos by pretending to choke on their cocks. I will admit, however, that I sometimes feel her anger can be misdirected: I remember she once hit a boy who was in his mid-to-late teens when hit her with a rugby ball. When I explained that it was probably a mistake and tried to get her to apologise, she didn't talk to me for almost four days.

"We should get going," she says almost indifferently and drags me out.

An awkward silence ensues in the car as I watch the decrepit buildings pass me by - a sharp contrast to the much neater houses in West Brompton. The stench of piss also lingers in the air, refusing to move, like a dark cloud on a dreich day.

As I park in front of the building that looks like it shouldn't house any living thing, Raven turns to me. "I don't think we should keep secrets from each other."

Knowing exactly where this is going, I try to shut it down as quickly and as quietly as I can: "Trust me, I'm not keeping any secrets from you. That guy is a celebrity - I wouldn't be able to hide him if I wanted to."

"I mean, I just want you to be honest with me - I always am."

I nod.

"That guy on your camera--"

I groan. "I don't like him, Raven! What's wrong with you today?"

"Nothing! I just want us to be honest with each other. Me and you, we've known each other since you first landed here. I would hate to find out that you don't trust me as much as I trust you."

"Relax! I know you care for me, Raven. I'm not hiding anything from you. Now, can we stop talking about this guy - whose name I don't even know - and just go inside?"

She takes my hands and places kisses at the back. "I'm sorry if I'm being a little too much, but I care for you and I don't want you to make bad decisions."

"I know."

We walk in and I immediately become invisible as Raven runs up to her boyfriend on stage. The band stops practising but not before teasing: "Get a fucking room!"

I don't think I should be alone with the two of them. I need to find somewhere to be. Anywhere.

I'll just go and look for some snacks. "You'll be fine without a guardian for five minutes, won't you?"

They ignore me and proceed to swap saliva while giggling like two teenagers. Again, Harry finds a way to sneak a dirty look my way. I've tried talking to him about it, but he just denied it and said I was imagining things.

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm not imagining this.

Walking into the nearest restaurant, I decide to overlook the smell of sweat in the place. It looks like a rat colony lives here, but so do all the other eateries; you just need to pick your poison. Now, I chose this place because it's the only one that serves vegan food.

I pull out my mobile and swipe through more updates from Edward. I probably should've gone to his party. God knows I love Raven, but even the littlest time spent with her feels like getting the energy sucked right out of me. But I've already spent a little too much time with him and Raven was probably beginning to hate me.

There's just something about her energy that I find draining.

Maybe it's the looks Harry is constantly giving me.

"'ey! lydy! ya buyin' or wot?" the young boy behind the counter damn near screams.

"Sorry. I'll have two spelt burgers and Pepsis."

He gives me a slip with the number #132 and tells me to move to the side while I wait. I wonder why they won't clean the seats so we can sit. It's like they don't want us to stay too long.

I'm not having a great time.

I grab my order and go back to the venue - leaving the food in my car - to find that the show is about to start. That means the night is moving!

"I bought you a burger!" I scream to Raven over the crowd.

"Oh, that's great!" she screams back. "Just keep it on you for now. I'll have it later!"

"It's vegan!"

She pouts but quickly recovers. "That's okay!"

The band take their positions on the stage and the concert starts with Harry exclaiming: "I can't believe you fucking came!"

The audience breaks into one huge fit of laughter and cheers as Harry continues: "No, seriously, why're you here? We all still live in our mothers' fucking basements."

I'll give it to him: he's charismatic. He's got the attitude of a Londoner and the self-deprecating humour of a Scot.

"Since you've no taste in music, we'll open the show with a garbage song we wrote called 'Mistress of Witchcraft'."

His voice was as unenthusiastic as they come yet it got the crowd going ballistic. Mistress of Witchcraft is a garbage song, but it's pretty much the song they always open their shows with - and for good reason. It never fails to get the audience riled up.

The guitar wails through the speakers and the attendees scream with it. Everyone pumps their fists and bangs their heads against the air as Harry booms in a dramatically low tone:

"Fast is her broom

Terrifying shark

Enraged and like a cloakroom

Half woman and hallmark"

The high-energy show goes on for about an hour. Halfway through the show, we hear the bellow of a woman in the middle of the venue and that's when everyone loses their heads. A mosh-pit is started, and Raven and I do not hesitate in joining, bumping our way through the people.

The music almost fades as I'm surrounded by the screams and grunts of the moshers. My nose fills with the scent of sweat; but, unlike at the restaurant, it's totally welcome here. It's funny how the mood of the evening just changed after a little dancing from Harry the dance monkey.

"We're nearing the end of the show," Harry announces. "We just want to say thank you guys; your support means a lot to us. Keep coming to our shows and let's spread the positive energy, you know? Now, to close this shit up, we're doing a little song we wrote recently; it's called 'Under the Stars'. You've never heard it before; it's pretty slow too. I know we always close the show up with a fast number, but we thought we'd do things a little differently tonight. This is 'Under the Stars'. If it's really lame, just boo us off the stage; we'll understand."

We all laugh, this time with less boisterousness as we anticipate the slow song.

"Somehow you got me," he starts crooning in the most beautiful falsetto.

Midway through the song, as people are swaying softly to the beautiful music, he stops. "I forgot to tell you all that this song was inspired by my bint and muse. She's in the audience." And he makes eye-contact with me before shifting quickly to Raven. He looks so perfect up there with his naughty smirk; but I know that this guy is an arse, so I don't buy the act. "Hey babe. This one's for you."

The crowd erupts in a loud cheer as everyone cranes their neck to get a glimpse of Raven.

And Harry continues his crooning; however, the song soon picks up speed and, in a second, it morphs into a full-blown rock guitar solo by Jace. Harry throws himself to the crowd and everyone helps him make his way to Raven. As soon as he's here, he's put on his feet and the music slows again. He puts his lips to hers.

If he wasn't such a horrible person, this could've been us.

"Only you would see the difference."

Edward is right. No one would accept this but me. Why don't I storm out in anger then? It's simple. I don't want people to think I'm the crazy, jealous ex.

But would that be so bad?

He makes his way back to the stage - this time on his feet - and closes the show by thanking us all for the great response.

"Lend me your camera! Quick!" Raven screams while pecking on my shoulder impatiently.

I hand it to her, and she takes photos of Harry on stage before he leaves. She screams and turns the camera to us and starts taking pictures of us. She raises it above our heads to take overhead shots, but another lady bumps her and the camera flops to the floor, only to be stampeded by the people in front of us.

For a moment, it feels as though I am watching everything from the side: I hear myself scream, watch my hands fly to cover my ears so I don't have to hear myself and watch my eyes shut in the hope that everything and everyone around will stop and allow me the opportunity to save my camera before it hits the ground. It doesn't work. And then, I am back in my body.

"Raven! Why did you do that?"

I feel my temple tighten up into a huge knot.

"I'm so sorry! It was a mistake!" she responds frantically. "It's not really my fault!"

"All my work from today is in here, you fucking moron! Why would you do this?"

I pick up the pieces and shove them inside my backpack.

I guess I get to storm off after all!

I get inside my car and make haste to drive away from this venue. I don't want anyone to find me here when they get out.

Why does it feel like this is not just about the camera? Maybe that's because it is. This feels like it's long overdue, and though it dulled the panic when I was screaming, bandaging it with anger and throwing it at the person I've always wanted to tell how I feel, she's not here anymore, and it registers again that all my work from today has been stomped on by some broke girl in Converse boots - probably her most prized possession.

This is bad.

I need to tell Edward.

He'll be so upset.

Well, he won't. He'll be too drunk to even understand me tonight. Maybe that's the best way to tell him? No. I'll tell him tomorrow morning when he's sober. Sure, that's a quick way to get him upset, but then it's also a great way of getting him to help me come up with a solution. Hopefully.

I take the camera pieces and the film strips out of my bag and try to piece them back together, but everything is broken beyond repair and the film strips have tangled each other up so that they're basically useless now.

I feel the tears glide down my cheeks as I relive the moment in slow motion. Suddenly, it looks like I could've done something before my camera hit the gravel and was met with smelly sneakers.

I should've just gone to Edward's thing.