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Don't Show Weakness

"It's amazing how you got the job done so quickly!" Sapnap exclaims.

Sapnap and I are currently eating at our agency's cafeteria, and he has taken the liberty of praising me for the recent mission that was completed. I chuckle and say, "I know that I'm amazing."

Lie. Sapnap says, "I bet that's a new record for the amount of time it took you to singlehandedly complete a mission! No- infact- I know it's a new record from how fast it went. You just keep impressing me with those impersonation skills of yours."

I show him a grin. Before I say something, we hear some scoff loudly. We turn our attention to a table near us. Oh, great. It's them. It's Livia and her little friend group, and she was the one that scoffed. She says, "Please, it's not that impressive. Anyone here in this agency can put up a quick little act on a mission. He was just lucky that the agent he messed around with was a guy who gets fooled easily."

I furrow my eyebrows in annoyance. I do my best to show confidence by saying, "Well, my 'little act' sure as hell saved the mission from being a failure."

"Well, you wouldn't have even gotten to use those acting skills of yours if I was deployed on that mission. Those who were sent on that mission are incompetent. I really don't see what's so special about the whole situation, nor why you deserve such praise when you didn't do anything any of us can't actually do."

Nick then says, "He does deserve praise! He basically saved our buts out there thanks to his skills! I would like to see you try to do what he did so fast. But you can't, can you? Skeppy is the best impersonator this agency's got, maybe even the best that the spy world has ever seen."

"Please, you're just raising his already big ego. His ego is so big that I bet my words aren't getting through to his head as he always brags about his skills. But let me remind you that these 'skills' are limited as the only thing you're good at, Skeppy, is to put up a good cover. That's the only reason why you're even still working here, because in some way, you're useful for your acting, but in reality, you're useless as an agent. We all know that having a good cover is a key part of being an agent, but it's more than just showing face. It's about your fighting skills. Why do you think it's so rare for you to be given a paper where you're expected to fight or sneak on a mission? Because you're basically useless in that area. You shouldn't be called an agent. You are just an actor. I know I'm not as good as you in that field, but at least I know how to put up a cover, while you aren't even capable of half of what basically everyone in this agency can do."

She's right. I know perfectly well she is. I'm basically useless to this whole agency. The only reason why I'm still allowed to work here is because of my acting skills, and because I am a part of the family that has been working with this agency for generations. But the only person who knows that is the boss. Almost everyone here basically hates me for my 'big ego' since they have the same belief that its not fair that I'm permitted to work here when I'm only good at one thing. Putting up a cover.

What they all don't know is that I don't actually have a big ego. It's the opposite. I'm very insecure about myself. All that confident talk that I put out is just empty words. I never mean anything. Anything good I say about myself is usually the opposite of what I actually think of myself. It's all just a cover. But nobody can ever know. Why? Because if I let my act fall for even just a second, I would be showing weakness, and that can't happen. Something you can never let anybody know about when working in the spy world is your weaknesses. If you do, you get targeted from those weaknesses.

What's sad is that in regular society, you are also attacked for whatever flaw or weakness you have. So, I end up showing a cover almost every hour of every day. The moment I let my guard down, I could get attacked. I'm already insecure enough as it is. I don't need to be constantly reminded of my insecurities. Even when I'm alone at home, I can never somehow just be myself. The real me has somehow been taken from me soon after my family died. I was really depressed, and my energy to do anything drained from me. Though, I may still be slightly depressed as though I'm never really genuinely smiling. Any smile I show is fake. When I'm by myself, I never smile. I'm basically just a waste of space.

Nick is angry. He's about to say something, but I interrupt him by saying, "Don't. This is just a waste of time. This argument itself is just pointless. Let's just drop it now, or else she'll never shut up."

With that, Sapnap stays quiet. But Livia just has to get the last word. She says, "There you go again, due to your big ego, you just can't wait until I stop talking as you can't seem to admit the truth. Words go through one ear and out the other for you, right? Your arrogance will someday bring you consequences..."

I continue playing my role of an overconfident person by making a 'tsk' sound, dismissing Livia. She just gives me an angry glare and scoffs before returning to chatting with her friends. Just a few moments later, a lady comes up to me and says, "Excuse me, Skeppy. The boss wants you to go over to his office."

I raise an eyebrow and ask, "What for?"

"I believe he's going to assign you a new mission."

"Really? That's quick. It has only been a day since my last mission. I'm normally not assigned a new mission until a few days or weeks."

"I know. But lately, there has been more activity from enemy agencies, especially from The Demon Organization, thanks to Badboyhalo. Plus, the boss has a lot of trust in your capabilities, Skeppy."

Badboyhalo is an agent from TDO who has recently been causing many problems for us and has been successful in quite a lot of missions... I glance at Livia with a smirk on my face as I smugly say, "Looks like I've been so successful lately that I'm immediately entrusted with a new mission. I'll go to his office in a moment."

Livia just lets out a grumble in annoyance but continues minding her own business. The lady nods and walks away from me. I take one last bite of my food, stand up, and say, "Sapnap, can you throw away my trash? I don't want to keep the boss waiting too long."

Sapnap raises an eyebrow and asks, "Aren't you going to eat some more? You've barely touched your food."

I look down at my dish, almost completely filled with food. If I just stop eating now, then I don't think it'll be necessary to do... that later today. I shake my head and say, "Nah, I'm good, bro. Not that hungry today. I'll get a snack if I do get hungry, though."

Nick shrugs it off and says, "Whatever, dude."

I leave Nick to eat alone as I start heading to the boss's office. Wonder what my next mission will be. The only thing I know for sure is that I'll be given a cover to play, a fake identity. I'll have to act, as always.

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