Year 2017…

LILY COULDN’T SLEEP. Paano kasi, siya ang nasa kama ng lalaking tumulong sa kanya.

At nasaan naman ang lalaking nagpakilalang Jared sa kanya?

‘Yon. Nagtitiyaga sa sofa sa salas ng flat nito.

Patagilid siyang sumandal sa hamba ng pinto. Mula sa kwarto, tinanaw niya ito. Pinagmasdan. She saw this gorgeous face touched by the soft yellow light from a nearby floor lamp. A thick patterned dark blue duvet covered him up to the chest. With his head tilted to the side, some strands of his hair fell on his face. Dahil din sa posisyong iyon, parang nakaharap ang tulog na lalaki sa kanyang direksyon.

Chivalry is dead. I am sure, may gustong kapalit ‘tong mokong na ‘to kaya tinulungan ako.

Inekis niya ang mga braso, hindi pa rin inaalis ang mga mata rito.

Pero ano? He seemed… well-off.

Her eyes narrowed. Gradually, an idea came to her. Parang sumikip ang kanyang dibdib.

What if… hablot niya sa bandang dibdib ng suot na sweater. From her long-sleeved top and pleated skirt, she already changed into a pair of black leggings and an oversized pastel pink sweater.

Nagmamadaling bumalik si Lily sa kwarto. It wasn’t right to snoop around someone else’s house and stuff, but she just had to make sure. Para rin ito sa kaligtasan niya.

Napadpad si Lily sa study table roon na puno ng patong-patong na libro. May nagkalat ding print-outs ar brochures. As she checked them one by one, she only saw one similar denominator.

Lahat ng iyon, may kinalaman sa psychology.

I think he’s a student. Natulala siya saglit bago bumalik sa pinto.

Lily sighed in relief upon seeing Jared, still asleep.

Does he want sex? Because that’s all I can do to pay him back. Tinitigan niya ito ng mabuti.

Damn. He’s so damn hot.

Nagsusungit-sungitan lang siya sa lalaki kanina para pagtakpan ang nararamdaman niya. That hair that reached his shoulders looked so gorgeous on him. That handsome face…

Imagine staring at that face while he’s fucking me. My, I will cum too soon… I will cum too soon…

Takam na nakagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi. Her eyes continued to study Jared.

Nakakainis naman ‘yong kumot. Wala ako masyadong makita sa katawan niya. Balot na balot na nga siya sa sweater at jeans…

Then she felt guilt. Bakit pinag-iisipan niya ng ganito karumi ang taong bukal sa loob na tumulong sa kanya? Bakit pinagnanasahan niya?

Where’s the respect?

Nilukob siya ng panlulumo. Shut up, Lily. Get real. You just want to fuck him to see if you’re still good at it. You’re only doing yourself a favor not him.

Hinaplos ng awa ang kanyang dibdib.

Maybe he just wanted to help. Lalo na at psychology student siya. For sure, he’s one of those people who wants to just help. Someone who has empathy.

She paused. Ewan ba niya, pero parang gumagwapo ang lalaki sa kanyang paningin.

A psychology student. Siguro nababasa niya sa mga kilos ko na isa akong pariwara. Maybe he wants to see if he can talk me out of my plans… I can’t let that happen. I can’t let him stop me.

.

.

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***

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WHEN JARED WOKE UP, he saw a note left on his forehead.

Yes. His forehead.

Tinanggal niya ang nakapang sticky note at binasa ang magulong penmanship.

Nakahanap na ako ng lilipatan. Tanong-tanong na lang ako tungkol sa money-changer. Thanks for your help.

-Lily

Napatanga siya saglit sa kawalan. He blinked before scrambling out of the sofa and off the duvet. Sinilip niya ang bawat silid sa flat pero wala kahit saan ang babae.

Maybe, I scared her. Sino ba naman ang tanga na tumutulong na lang nang walang kapalit sa hindi nila kakilala sa mga panahong ito? Matamlay na umupo ulit ai Jared sa sofa, walang pakialam kung naipit ang duvet. He stared at the sticky note that Lily left. Nakilala niyang sticky note niya iyon na ginagamit. Nakatabi iyon sa drawer ng study table.

Kinabahan siya. He immediately checked his belongings. Once Jared confirmed that nothing was lost or stolen, he began to feel worried for Lily.

How would she survive out there without his help?

.

.

10:42 P.M.

“Thanks,” ngiti ni Lily nang iabot dito ng bartender ang short glass ng beer na in-order.

Lingid sa kaalaman ng babae na pinapanood ito ni Jared.

Jared sat on a high chair facing the bar counter wearing a gray crew neck sweatshirt that fitted his hard figure, a pair of faded jeans with rips on the knees and white sneakers. He had his thick dark hair hand combed, brushed to the back with strands stringing at both sides of his face. Sa haba ng kanyang buhok, tumikwas na ang dulo niyon na umaabot sa kanyang batok.

The soft yellow glow from the low-lit bar touched their faces and yet, reflected lights that hit the glasses made his eyes shine in triples. Lalo na at hindi mawala-wala ang ngiti sa labi niya habang pinagmamasdan ito.

Her red-orange hair, trimmed in a v-cut that reached her shoulder blades fell gorgeously on her back. A light, natural fringe hung over her forehead, bringing more focus into the lightness of the brown in her eyes. Something looked so youthful with her beautiful face. That Selena-Gomez kind of baby face. At mas lalong masarap pagmasdan ang babae kapag nakangiti ito. It’s so contagious, Jared just found himself smiling too.

Nahuli tuloy siya ng babae nang malingunan ito. Namilog ang mga mata nito nang makilala siya. Nagmamadaling binitbit nito ang baso at lumipat ng upuan. Tumuwid si Jared ng pagkakaupo sa high chair na nakaharap sa bar counter. Lily settled herself in her seat, placing her chain-strapped red leather sling bag on her lap.

Nung katabi na niya ang babae, mas malaya na itong napagmasdan ni Jared. How she looked so hot in her white, body contouring dress. Yumakap ang dulo ng palda niyon ng mahigpit sa bilugan nitong mga hita. It was only that night when he noticed how finely she was shaped- round, swollen breasts, big ass and all that stereotype sexy body kind. Diretso ang neckline ng damit nito pero nakakasilip pa rin ang tuktok ng cleavage nito.

Damn. He shouldn’t. 

But he just could not deny how hot he felt just by looking at her.

And he was already melting when she beamed brighter at him.

“You’re here!” masigla nitong usap sa kanya. Then she gave him a suspecting look. “Did you come all the way here to follow me?”

“No,” Jared was honest. “May dinaanan lang akong library kaninang hapon. Malapit lang ‘yon dito. Then, I strolled around until I wound up here.”

“Talaga?” nanghuhuli nitong titig sa mga mata niya, nakangisi. “Ni hindi mo man lang ako hinanap? Ni hindi nagtaka kung bakit ako umalis nang tulog ka?”

Jared tugged a sexy, sheepish smile. “I really didn't. And you left me a note, right? Kaya bakit ako magtataka kung bakit ka umalia?” He managed to maintain eye contact. “I’m just here for a drink. You? What brings you here?”

“I just, you know, need someone to talk to.”

Nalungkot siya. Hindi ba siya mukhang magandang kausap? So far, he was the only person this woman knows here in Antwerp. Why go to a bar café and look for strangers to talk to?

“Me.” Damn, he’s such a helpless case. “You can talk to me.”

“Nah,” mahina nitong tawa. “Baka mamaya, mahal ang singil mo sa akin... Mr. Psychologist.”

Panay ang sulyap ng babae sa laman ng hawak nitong short glass ng alak.

“So, nakialam ka nga talaga sa drawer ko. You looked at my books and wrote on a piece of my sticky notes.”

Ngumiti lang ito “But I didn’t take anything.”

“I know, I know,” he said that relieved Lily. “Look, I’m not on duty. So you can set aside the fact that I’m a psychologist.”

“You’re not a student anymore? Psychologist ka na?”

Jared smiled humbly. “Yes. Nakapag-doctorate na rin nga ako.”

“Wow…” namilog ang mga mata ng dalaga sa paghanga.

“I hope this doesn’t make you think that I helped you yesterday for a social experiment or something.”

Medyo namula ang mga pisngi nito, nahihiya ang ngiti. Sa palagay ni Jared, may natumbok siya kaya ganoon ang reaksyon ng dalaga.

“Finding out that I know some psychology scared you, right?” rinig sa tono niya ang lungkot.

“No,” tanggi agad nito. “Not really. And it’s okay. I know, given being a psychologist, you are interested to listen to people’s stories but.... hindi mo alam kung ano ang hanap ko.”

Lily looked away. Her beer-colored eyes sparkled as the low yellow-orange lights of the bar reflected on them. The very sight of that is so breathtakingly beautiful Jared had to hold his breath. Or else, he would lose his breath too suddenly.

“Then tell me,” he took risk and let go of his remaining breath just for her.

For this woman who did not even gaze back into his waiting burning eyes.

Napawi ang natatawa nitong tono. “Nah. I can’t.”

“Why not?” pagtamlay ng kanyang boses. “I think I deserve to know. Because that’s probably the main reason why you just left my flat while I’m asleep.”

Ni hindi pa ito nakakainom, pero may dumampi nang magaan na pamumula sa mga pisngi ni Lily.

“It’s just… I can’t. You’ve been really kind to me, so I can't do it with you.”

“Do what?”

Sinilip siya ni Lily. Napansin nito ang hawak niyang cellphone.

“Waiting for someone?” nabawasan ang sigla pero nakangiti pa rin ito sa kanya. “Telling them to hurry up at baka guluhin ka na naman ni Damsel in Distress?”

By Damsel in Distress, Jared knew Lily was pertaining to herself.

The woman smartly steered away from their main topic. A scapegoating technique, he assessed. Senyales na iyon para huwag na niyang ipilit ang gustong alamin kung gusto niyang manatiling komportable ito sa kanya.

“Damsel in distress? Don’t say that. Nagkataon lang na kulang ka sa info tungkol dito sa Belgium.” Jared gave her a reassuring smile. “You came unplanned, right? I happened to pass by and notice, so…” Jared returned his eyes on the phone. “And I am not waiting for anyone. I am just surfing the ‘net.”

I wasn’t even waiting for anyone or hurrying anyone, when you just decide to come my way again, he added in his thoughts.

Tinulak ni Lily pababa sa mesa ang kamay niyang may hawak ng cellphone. Napatitig tuloy si Jarwd sa mga mata nito.

“Natutunaw na ‘yong yelo ng alak mo,” nguso nito sa short glass niya. “Uunahin mo pa ba ‘yang pagi-internet na pwede mo namang gawin mamaya pag-uwi mo?”

Napaisip si Jared. Nakatitig lang siya sa kamay ni Lily na nakapatong sa kamay niya at sa gilid ng screen ng cellphone na kanyang hawak. He could not explain why it felt amazing watching her hand on top of his’. Sigurado siyang hindi dala ng kalasingan itong nararamdaman dahil nakakailang sipsip pa lang siya ng alak.

“Ah, I was about to say to get your ass off that phone and enjoy the sights here. But I bet nagsawa ka na rito sa Belgium. Sa tagal ba naman ng ini-stay mo rito, eh.”

Enjoy the sights… Jared echoed in his mind, glancing at Lily just to be overwhelmed again by how good she looked. Do you want me to enjoy looking at you, Lily?

Napansin nito ang mainit niyang pagkakatitig dito. Tumaas ang sulok ng labi ng dalaga. Lingid kay Jared na umaabot sa babae ang bigat at init na nararamdaman niya ngayon sa presensya nito…Sa tuwing sumasayad ang paningin niya sa makamandag nitong alindog.

Nalungkot siya ng kaunti nang alisin na ng babae ang kamay nito. Nakangisi pa rin ito, sumilip ng palihim para mahuli ang reaksyon niya sa pag-alis nito ng kamay.

“Come on, let’s drink!” anito bago dinampot ang sariling baso. Medyo gumusot ang mukha ng babae nang mapaitan sa ininom na beer.

Jared had an open-mouthed smile as he watched her shake her head. Nalingunan siya nito. Natawa.

“Come on. I’m not a first-timer. Sadyang…” tinaas nito ang baso at tinitigan saglit ang laman niyon. “Masyadong matapang lang siguro itong na-order kong beer.”

Kailangang magdesisyon ni Jared. It was attraction at first sight that made him want to get to know Lily better. Ahh, but how if he just mess it up? Medyo nahihiya rin siyang kausapin ang babae, lalo na at nadidistract siya ng nararamdamang pagnanasa para rito.

Damn. He shouldn’t talk to her then if at the back of his mind he was already stripping off her clothes. That wasn’t right. Where’s the respect? He had never thought of a woman in thiway... In this hot, needing kind of way.

Kaya naisip ni Jared, pwede niyang gamiting defense mechanism ang cellphone. Ipilit na importante ang hinahanap sa internet kaya aabalahin doon ang sarili. Nakatitig pa rin siya sa babae nang ibulsa ang cellphone.

Oh, shit. He just pocketed his phone. Hindi ito ang napagkasunduan nila ng kanyang utak na gagawin.

He’s doomed.

His other hand reached for his glass of gin.

“I hope I can ask this… what brings you here in Belgium?” pihit niya ng pagkakaupo paharap dito.

Shit. He talked to her. Wala nang atrasan ito.

Binaba ng babae ang baso nang matapos ang ikalawang inom mula rito. Nauhaw siya nang saglit napunta ang tingin sa mamasa-masa nitong mga labi. Just a taste of a drop of that moist from her lips...

Shit, he's already struggling to breathe, dry from his mouth to the throat.

"You know," she answered nonchalantly, "the typical soul searching."

"Why search for your soul? It's always there with you," biro niya rito.

Lily just stared at her glass and smiled. This time, it was the kind of smile that reflected sadness. Who said smiles always make a person look happy? That wasn't true. That wasn't the case with how this gorgeous woman was smiling at her glass of beer.

"Let's just say... people always abandon me." Her smile faded.

"Then, I guess I'm an alien," ngisi niya kaya napatingin si Lily sa kanya.

Amusement danced in her eyes, but she could not bring a smile to her lips. They parted, afraid of voicing out her curiosities. Kahit pa kitang-kita na iyon sa paraan ng pagtitig nito sa kanya.

"You're lucky, I extended my stay here in Belgium," may konting pagyayabang sa kanyang himig. Dahil kung gusto niyang makuha ang tiwala ng babaeng ito, dapat niyang iparamdam dito na malaki ang tiwala niya sa sarili. "Dahil nandito ako at masasamahan kita."

"What? You're gonna guard me?" pagak ang tawa nito. "Sasamahan mo ako? Am I really that much of a damsel in distress to you?"

"Nag-offer lang ako na samahan ka. Hindi i-babysit ka." Sumimsim siya ng gin habang hindi maalis-alis ang mga mata sa dalaga. "Ahhh..." he breathed out after his drink. He felt the gin trail a burn from his mouth to his throat. Pero 'yong init na humagod sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita, alam niyang hindi gin ang dahilan niyon. He could not help a loose smile forming in his lips. "Pero, ikaw ba? Baka gusto mo magpaalaga?" He gave her a sexy underlook, an eyebrow raised. "Ayos lang din naman sa akin." Mas pinahalata niya ang pagbibiro sa tono. "I can babysit you if you want. That is, if you will be my baby and if you will sit on me, of course."

Binuntutan iyon ni Jared ng malutong at maikling pagtawa. He had to tone down his joking with a chuckle. Lalo na at hindi pa niya kabisado ang babae. He didn't want to offend her or anything. He just wanted her to feel at ease with his company. She just said she felt like people are abandoning her. So, what could he better do but… make her feel good tonight?

"Don't tell me, you just helped me so you can hit on me," nakangising paniningkit ng mga mata nito sa kanya.

Jared was impressed. She didn't even play dumb but ride along so well with his jokes. That made him wonder if that means she’s good at riding too…

Hot damn. What a turn on… That sexy body, that beautiful face, her light smile…

"Kasi, baka patulan kita," malagkit na titig ni Lily kanya.

And in that very instant, he was already done for. Wala na. Finish na. He felt his standing ovation. Lalo siyang na-excite sa pakikipaglaro ng babae sa kanya. Kahit na pa-usap pa lang ang namamagitan sa kanila, init na init na siya sa pakikisakay nito sa mga banat niya.

Biru-biruan lang dapat ito, pero parang nagkaka-initan na sila ng dalaga.

"Papatulan mo talaga ako kapag sinabi kong oo?" matapang niyang saad habang palapit nang palapit ang mukha rito.

He just wanted to test the waters this time. Mabuti nang sa umpisa pa lang, malaman na niya kung may interes sa kanya ang babae bago siya mag-invest ng kahit ano rito. Mabuti na ring malaman niya dahil baka panay ang pasimpleng pahaging niya, wala naman pala iyong malisya rito... o ayaw pala nito sa kanya. O baka sinasakyan lang siya nito pero wala sa plano na dalhin ang mga usapan nila sa...

Fuck, Jared. You want to bring this conversation with Lily in the bedroom already? he scolded himself.

Then he stopped. Hindi na niya nilapit pa ang mukha sa babae. He was close enough to observe her facial expressions well, but far enough to keep her comfortable.

Lily leaned forward to close in their distance. She bravely met his dark gaze.

"I might," she murmured yet clear enough for him to hear. "Because I want to know something."

Intrigue filled him. That night, he was not a psychologist anymore.

But a person. A common person.

A man.

His actions were not influenced or dictated anymore by his profession.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I'll tell you," she hotly glanced at his lips before returning her gaze to his eyes, "after you fuck me."

Pumintig ang dibdib niya sa kaba. He stole a glance at Lily's glass. Nakita niyang ininuman iyon ng dalaga pero parang wala pang bawas kapag tiningnan. As soon as he got a confirmation that she was of sane mind, he had another theory.

Baka siya na ang tine-test nito. A reverse psychology of pretending she wants him just to make him admit he's serious about hitting on her. At sa oras na mapaamin siya ng babae, babawiin nito ang pag anyaya na mag-sex sila.

"You must be kidding—" tatawanan pa sana niya ito nang bigla siyang tukain ng halik sa mga labi.

The way their lips smacked kept echoing at the back of his mind. The feeling of her soft, slippery lips against his' kept replaying. Mulagat na napatitig siya sa mga mata ni Lily nang makalayo na ito. She smiled at him so sweetly and cocked her head to the side, intently observing him.

"Looks like you like the taste. You can have some more, if you want," she teased, leaving him with a lingering gaze so burning before turning to her glass of beer. Uminom ulit ito.

“Oh, fuck. What taste? Binitin mo ako. You kiss as quick as you left this morning. I barely even tasted your lips,” nagtitimping ungol niya.

Jared was slowly looking away from her sweet, sweet face that has a spicy, red lips. Lumayo naman si Lily, malutong siyang tinatawanan dahil nabitin siya.

How cruel. Lalo tuloy siya nitong pinanggigigil. Pinag niningas. She was toying him now so he would get more excited. And damn, it was working. He wanted to grab her already and get that full kiss he wanted. But no. He wouldn’t force it. Nasa kalagitnaan pa sila ng laro. He should stay on his guard and keep behaving well. Especially in a public place like this bar café.

Thank, God, Jared managed to keep his mouth shut. Tahimik siyang uminom ng gin, pero hindi maiwasang magpanakaw-nakaw ng tingin kay Lily.

While drinking, she slyly placed a leg on top of the other to show off the side of her thigh. Hindi nahiya ang babae na itaas pa ng kaunti ang palda nito. Jared blinked and realized he had been staring for too long. Hinarap na lang niya ulit ang counter table at ang baso ng gin. Binalak niyang tunggain iyon. Pero hindi niya kinaya. Nakakaisang lunok pa lang siya nang ibaba agad ang baso. Naglikha iyon ng ingay kaya napasilip sa kanya si Lily.

Jared let out a sharp exhale before shoving in a deep breath through his nose.

He had never lost this much composure before. Ganito siguro ang pakiramdam ng mga taong nai-intimidate niya noon. Ng mga tao na nahihiyang salubungin siya ng tingin sa mata dahil sa respeto para sa kanya. O ng mga kliyenteng first-time mag-talk therapy sessions na sa tuwing nakakausap niya ay nangingilag dahil alam ng mga ito na isa siyang psychologist.

"Take it easy," Lily reached for him, stroking his strong arm with her gentle hand. Nanuot sa kanya ang init ng haplos nito kahit nakasuot siya ng may kakapalang sweatshirt. "You can take it out on me later. In bed."

Shit. She doesn't give up. And that wicked sexy smile reeked with determination. Hindi niya na lang ito inimik. Tiniyaga ni Jared na maubos ang gin.

Isang baso lang, aniya sa sarili habang sunod-sunod na nagmamadaling inom ang ginawa.

Kita sa gilid ng kanyang mga mata ang pagnakaw ni Lily ng sulyap sa kanya. Nang hindi makontento roon, dinampot na nito ang baso ng beer. Tinukod nito sa counter ang siko sabay pihit ng upo paharap sa kanyang direksyon. By doing that, all that sexiness came in full view. And her red-orange hair that reflected the soft yellow lighting made her look like a burning fire... the warmth he need in this cold, October evening in Belgium. Lily showed no shame in making it obvious that she's all eyes on him.

Her patience too, just showed that she was determined to leave this place with an assurance of getting laid and satisfied.

Sumilay ang makamandag na ngiti sa mga labi nito. Worse, instead of fear, thrill stirred all over his body, especially in a special spot within his pants. Humigpit tuloy ang kamay niya sa hawak na baso.

Jared knew he had to take this gin. This might give him a boost in courage. The courage to keep his hardening, horny cock to himself and walk away from Lily. The game and jokes were getting out of hand… they were already taking it too far. Ni hindi nga niya masabi kung ano ang seryoso at ano ang pagbibiro sa mga sinasabi ni Lily. Sa oras na maubos niya ang iniinom, uuwi na siya sa tinutuluyan sa Antwerp, Belgium.

Oh, yes. Minutes later, he left that quiet bar successfully, alright. And he also went home safely that night.

He did that right after he finished his drink and grabbed Lily by the hand.

Natatawang napatingin ito habang nagpapatangay sa kanya.

"Oh, boy, what's your rush?" ngiting-ngiti ito habang pilit na sinasabayan ang kanyang malalaking hakbang.

"I'm no boy. I'm a man and you'll get fucked in the car, so get ready," he muttered, his every word hardened by so much need... so much desire.

Jared took her with him in his rented car. Halos takbuhin nilang dalawa ang open-space parking lot sa likuran ng gusali kung nasaan ang bar na pinanggalingan nila.

Pumasok agad sila sa backseat ng sasakyan, hinawi ang paperbag ng mga librong hiniram niya para bigyan sila ng espasyo. Nawala na rin sa isip isara ang pinto ng sasakyan dahil pagka-upo ni Jared doon, hinila niya agad si Lily papatong sa kanya. Uhaw na nagpalitan sila ng marahas na mga halik