BAGO PA SABIHIN NI LILY kay Jared na ibaba siya nito, ginawa na iyon ng lalaki. Nasa may kakitiran na sila na pasilyo kung saan magkakahanay ang doorway sa bandang kanan nila. She immediately spun to face him.

"I'm not drunk!" ulit niya sa binata. "How dare you carry me here!"

Pinatapos siya nito magsalita bago kalmanteng sumagot.

"I know. Pero nangako ako sa'yo, di ba?"

Naalala ni Lily ang mismong sinabi ni Jared nung nasa kotse sila at pauwi noon galing ng The Org.

I'll make sure nothing messes up my Domme's mind, how about that?

It was that same night when Jared said something about babies. Lily froze that time as she watched the tragic events of her life flash before her eyes. At tahimik niyang iniyak ang mga iyon nang manginignginig na pumasok sa banyo. Binuksan pa niya noon ang shower para makasiguradong mga patak lang ng tubig ang maririnig ni Jared mula sa labas.

Dahil sa pananahimik niya, nagsalitang muli si Jared.

"Ihahatid na kita sa guest room," anyaya nito. "Doon mo ba gustong matulog? Sa kwartong ginamit mo kanina?

Tinapatan ni Lily ang mapang-unawa nitong mga mata ng mabusising titig.

"What made you think I like to sleep in that room again?"

"Because you slept really well there," he softly smiled. "Ang haba ng tinulog mo. Eh, sa The Org, kahit anong pagod mo, uuwi at uuwi ka pa rin sa bahay mo. At nung nakitulog ka bahay ko, saglit lang din ang tulog mo. Kahit inaantok ka pa, gumising ka na agad noon at niyaya ako sa The Org."

Nagbaba siya saglit ng tingin. Then, Lily remembered the front she had to wear whenever she's around Jared. She granted him a confident smile.

"Okay, Subby. Carry me all the way there."

"Yes, Ma'am," he gave her a nod, then bent down to swoop her knees and hung them over his arm. Jared assisted her back with the other.

Maingat niyang dinantay ang mga braso sa balikat ni Jared para kumuwintas sa leeg nito.

The silence of that hall echoed the beat from Jared's careful steps.

And it felt like, her heart was in harmony with his steps, thumping along with his beat. That was enough to fill her with harmony in and out. It was too good to be true, Lily found herself placing the side of her head against the side of Jared's face.

He stiffened for a moment, surprised. Then got over it and resumed walking. Naramdaman niya ang bahagyang paghilig ng ulo nito. Tiyak na sumilip ang binata sa kanyang mukha bago binalik ang tingin sa tinatahak nitong daan.

Lily was growing too comfortable with their silence. She has to break it or Jared might misinterpret it.

"Remember our first night together in one bed back in Belgium?" she softly murmured. Ni hindi niya mapigilan ang ngiti nang maalala iyon.

"I remember," anito.

Lumiko ang lalaki at nasa salas na sila kung saan abot-tanaw ang spiral staircase patungo sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay. Pakiramdam niya parang babasaging vase ang kanilang mga boses, na kapag bumagsak ay nakakabingi ang ingay. Kaya hininaan pa ni Lily ang tinig.

"I'm really horrified. Nagkalat ang mga lagas ng buhok ko sa kama mo. At sa sahig, at sa mga unan at kumot..." pinigilan niya ang matawa, lalo na nang maalala ang reaksyon ni Jared ng gabing iyon. "Ang lutong pa ng mura mo noon at pinagtatatampal mo ako para magising. Akala mo may kung ano akong sakit dahil grabe ang kalat ng buhok ko noon."

"Pinaliwanag mo namang marupok noon ang buhok mo kasi inabuso mo sa pampakulay," hakbang ni Jared paakyat sa hagdan.

Lily lifted her head to take a good look at his face. Para siyang nadurog dahil hindi man lang pinangiti ng alaalang iyon si Jared. May kung anong lungkot sa mga mata nito habang seryosong naka-focus sa paniniguradong maingat siya nitong maaakyat ng hagdan.

"But apparently, hindi lang pala buhok ko ang marupok n'on."

Walang sinagot ang lalaki. Diretso lang ang tingin pero parang lagpas na iyon sa aakyatang hagdan. It was as if, his presence of mind took the backseat and began considering some thoughts.

Binalik na lang ni Lily ang pagkakasandal ng ulo sa gilid ng mukha nito.

"I'm sorry. Nitong nakaraan, nagagalit ako kapag bini-bring up mo ang mga nangyari sa Belgium, tapos heto ako... nagbi-bring up." She found a defense mechanism in laughing. Idinaan niya na lang sa tawa ang pagkapahiya, pero wala namang kabuhay-buhay kung papakinggan.

"That's actually good," he grunted slightly, starting to feel her weight and the challenge of the steep stairs. "You're getting comfortable talking about the past now. Senyales na 'yan na nakaka-get over ka na talaga sa mga nangyari noon... but of course, not all people are the same. This is just my assessment."

"You think it's good?" Hindi niya maipaliwanag. Bakit nadidismaya siya? "You think it's good that I am starting to get over about what happened to us in Belgium?"

"We have to, if not will, get to that point anyhow."

What does he mean by that? Na hindi maiiwasang maka-move on talaga sila sa nangyari sa Belgium? Pinapaalala na naman ng lalaki sa kanya kung ano sila ngayon at hanggang saan lang sila. She was starting to forget all of a sudden that he only needed her to relieve his stress through sex.

That she's his Domme. And he's her Sub.

They will have to set aside any feelings they had since they've met in Belgium. They should if they wanted their set-up to work perfectly. And the more they have to when Jared decides to end this.

When Jared decides, because she? She has no plan to get away.

Not anymore.

Napapikit si Lily. Mas sinuksok ang sarili kaya umipit na sa pagitan ng pangahan ang balikat ni Jared ang kanyang ulo.

Since then, none of them spoke. Nakarating na sila sa ikalawang palapag. May mahinang paghingal na kumawala sa pagitan ng mga labi ng binata. She could not believe this man. Nakakailang round sa sex na parang walang pagod, pero pinaakyat lang niya ng hagdan nang buhat siya... napagod na.

Lily smiled painfully.

Then Jared stopped walking.

Pag-angat niya ng tingin, nasa tapat na sila ng pamilyar na pinto.

"Oh, you're awake," gulat nitong silip sa kanyang mukha.

"I never slept," pamimilog ng mga mata niya rito.

Akala ba nito nakatulog na siya kaya hindi na nagsalita pa kanina?

"Put me down now, Subby," aniya rito.

Siyang sunod ni Jared bago siya nito pinagbuksan ng pinto.

"Get in," utos niya sa binata habang nauna nang pumasok sa kwarto.

Walang imik na sumunod si Jared. Maingat nitong sinara ang pinto sa likuran.

Lily plopped down at the end of the bed. Nagtaas siya ng isang kamay, nakaharap kay Jared ang palad.

"Stop right there."

Kumunot ang noo nito. Nagtataka man, sinunod pa rin ni Jared ang utos niya.

Lily cocked her head to the side.

"Stay in place. Tayo ka lang ng ganyan pero paghiwalayin mo ang mga binti mo."

Yumuko saglit si Jared, tinantya nito bago tumindig nang may malaki-laking distansya ang mga binti.

"Put your hands on your back."

Jared just did that, holding his wrist with his other hand as he placed them on the back.

"Keep still. Ayusin mo ang tindig mo."

He did, chest out and stomach in. Nakadiretso sa harap ang mukha ng binata pero ang mga mata ay nakaabang sa kanya.

"From now on, we won't just attack each other in the bedroom," paliwanag niya sa lalaki. "Lalo na sa The Org. Be in that position when you're ready to be fucked."

His eyes slightly narrowed at her. He wasn't mad, but was pooled with intensity and heat in his eyes in a twinkling.

"Yes, Ma'am," he noted in a strong voice.

And she was turned on all of a sudden, her heart skipping as a somersault tickled her belly and sex.

"Now, stay in that position." At tinukod niya sa bandang likuran, sa ibabaw ng kama ang isang kamay. Lily slightly slanted in her seat as she raised a hand. Nakataas din ang kanyang hintuturo na inikot-ikot niya.

"What do you think does this mean, Subby?" tanong niya sa lalaki.

"Turn around?"

"Good. I just asked. Stay in that place."

He gave her a small nod. Then his eyes waited for what's next.

Is this what I really wanted? I wanted to be heard, but is this how I want to know that I am actually heard?

Sa kabila ng pag-aagam-agam, nagpatuloy si Lily.

"Same position pa rin sa mga binti mo. Now, put your hands at the back of your head."

"Ganito ba?" taas nito ng mga braso, ginaya ang paghawak ng isang kamay sa pulsuhan bago iyon dinikit sa likuran nito. It was as if a diamond was formed behind Jared.

"Yes, Subby. Very good," she said.

"What is this position for, Ma'am?" he asked so casually.

Pinasadahan niya ng tingin si Jared.

"What that position is for?" she echoed, holding her breath. Dahan-dahang kumaladkad ang mga mata niya sa matikas na kabuuan ni Jared. "That's for inspection. Nakaganyan ka lang dapat habang ini-inspect ko ang..."

The position brought out the sturdiness of Jared's chest, popped out each hard pecks and flexed the muscles of his arms. It also stretched his torso, firming his skin against his muscles there.

Parang ginanahan siyang kumain tuloy...

Naglunok siya ng laway. "Habang ini-inspect ko ang katawan mo."

Her gaze soldered against Jared's waiting eyes. He seemed to know what her eyes were trying to say, as his' darkened in response.

Lily snapped her fingers to dissipate the magic and heat brewing between them. "When you hear this, let go of your position."

Muling naglapit ng bahagya ang mga binti ni Jared. Binaba na rin nito ang mga braso.

"If you don't want to have sex. Just simply say no."

Tinukod ni Jared sa balakang ang mga kamay. "Alam mong hirap ako sa bagay na 'yan."

"Alam mo rin naman siguro na napunta tayo sa BDSM dahil gusto mong ma-fix 'yan."

Tumaas ang sulok ng labi nito, taliwas ang mapaglarong ngisi sa kislap ng mala-demonyong pagnanasa sa matiim na mga mata ng binata.

"Just go and get your sleep, Ma'am. Or else, my heck of a lawyer brother might sue us with alarm and scandal."

Excitement kicked her chest. Awtomatiko ang pagsulpot ng pilya niyang ngisi. Would they have a sex so good that it can cause alarm and scandal? Fuck. She's ready for that!

"I think I'm in the mood to get sued tonight, Subby."

"Don't make me do it," Jared began his slow strides towards her.

There he goes again. Laban sabay bawi. Sulong sabay urong. He should just flat-out say no. Hindi 'yong ganito. Aasa siya pero ayaw pala ng binata.

His yes-man personality was really his unbecoming. Maganda nga ang naisip na ideya ni Jared na posibleng maayos iyon ng BDSM set-up nila... but will it really work with her involved in it?

Her moment of hesitance was cut off by a dawning determination.

She should make it work. Not just because she wanted to have Jared...

But because she loves him.

Lily prepared herself by parting her thighs. Jared lowered himself, a few feet away from her. With his head tipped up, holding his dark stare into her eyes, he prowled tactfully until he reached the middle of her feet. And he knelt between her thighs.

Lily reached for his head, gently stroked from the forehead, through his soft, dark hair to the back of his head. Clutched tightly. Pulled. Napatingala ang binata sa kanya.

She drew her face closer to his'.

"Don't make me do it?" she mimicked what he said, yet with a condescending tone. "Hindi iyan ang napag-usapan natin, Jared baby. Saying that won't stop me. If you don't want to have sex, say..." she trailed off. Gusto niyang ang binata mismo ang magdugtong doon.

But like the predator he was, he jumped on her. Nahablot siya ng binata sa mga braso at pinako sa kama. Mabilis namang naiharang ni Lily ang isang binti, bumangga sa pagitan ng mga hita ni Jared.

He panted excitedly, his evil smirk shone in the midst of the dim-lighted room.

"You're fast, Ma'am."

"Matagal mo na dapat na-realize 'yan," mayabang niyang ngisi. "You'll get properly punished for this, Subby."

"What punishment?"

"Abstinence."

Tawang-tawa si Lily sa loob ng kanyang isip. Inasahan niya ang pagtakas ng kulay sa mukha ni Jared.

"Lily!" maktol nito.

Nang-iinis na ngumisi lang siya rito. "Iyan ang dapat sa'yo."

"No!"

At doon na nagsimula ang pagbubuno nila. Natatawa na lang siya habang naglalaban sila ni Jared ng pwersa. He wanted to fuck her so bad, yet doing his best not to hurt her as he attempt to part her thighs for him. Even to catch his lips so that they'll kiss.

"Halika rito! Magpahalik ka!"

"Ayoko!" ilag pa rin niya, natatawa. "Baka mamaya niyan, magbago ang isip ko sa pagparusa sa'yo!"

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do!" hablot nito sa baba niya sabay pihit sa kanya paharap dito. "Let me change your mind! With a kiss!"

"Then, try!" nanghahamong titig niya sa mga mata ng binata. "Make me, Jared baby. Change my mind, baby."

Palapit na ang mga labi nito sa kanya nang umiling siya sabay daklot sa pulsuhan ng lalaki. He grunted in protest, got away from her hold. Naglaban pa sila bago ito nanalo at naipako ang nakalaya niyang kamay kanina sa kama.

His fingers slipped between hers, making her sigh sweetly.

"Take it back, Lily... Take it back," pangungulit pa rin nito.

Panay lang ang iling niya. Panay lang ang tiklop niya padikit sa mga hita.

Hanggang sa nakasunggab ang lalaki sa kanyang leeg. Doon na tuluyang kumawala ang pinipigilan niyang tawa.

"Jared, ano ba!" halakhak niya habang walang tigil ang paglusob ng halik, dila at sipsip ng binata sa kanyang leeg, pangahan at pisngi.

Kung saan-saan na napadpad ang kanyang mga kamay. She kept on hitting his arms and pinching the side of his waists, but he just would not give up. Maging ang mga tuhod at binti nito ay kumikilos para ibuka ang mga hita niya.

And after wrestling for dominance, the submissive finally won.

Pero sa totoo lang, nagpaubaya na lang si Lily sa lalaki. He deserves to win. He finally learned to say no somehow. Humindi ang lalaki at pinanindigan iyon.

Now that he got between her thighs, he began practicing his thrusts. At sa maladelubyong pag-ulos nito, damang-dama ni Lily ang paninigas ng lalaki sa kabila ng suot nitong denim jeans.

"Ah, Jared, ah!" ngiting-ngiti niyang ungol sa paulit-ulit nitong pagbangga sa kanya.

"Nagbago na ba ang isip mo, Ma'am?" he murmured before resuming on sucking her jaw.

Lily drew in a sharp inhale and clutched tightly on his shoulders.

"Ah, yes... Oh, yes..." ungol niya sa sarap ng pagdiin at kiskis nito sa pagitan ng kanyang mga hita. "Oh, yes, my good Subby. Yes, Jared baby."

Her fingers stroked between the strands of his hair.

Umahon ito saglit. "Thank you, Ma'am."

"You're such a spoiled Sub!" she whined before pushing him close to torridly kiss his lips.

Jared responded along with the shake and thrust of hips, colliding against her body.

Nang muling kumiskis si Jared sa kanya, giniling-giling niya padiin dito ang mga balakang.

"Oh, Lily," he lifted his head and gloriously moaned. He sunk his head against her neck as his excited breathing slowed down to a stable calmness. "You're so good... From a Sub, I might become a total slave... Pagsisilbihan kita araw-araw... gabi-gabi."

Unti-unti na ring naging banayad ang kanilang mga kilos hanggang sa huminto silang nakayakap sa isa't isa. Lily's half-open eyes stared at the ceiling.

"So, does that mean you don't want to help me get sued for alarm and scandal?" humihingal sa pagod niyang wika.

His voice became tender, slightly muffled since his lips we're brushing and pressing against her neck as he talked.

"No."

She should be disappointed. But instead, her smile was proud.

Her decent man, her sweet subby, finally learned to say no.

Sana nga lang ay hindi lang sa kanya iyon kayang sabihin ng lalaki.

"My parents..." Jared continued. "I want you to gain their favor."

"So, if your parents don't like this woman for you, it means, you'll abandon her."

"That's not it," angat sa wakas ng binata para magtapat ang kanilang mga mukha.

She felt like melting at their nearness, and with their faces a few inches apart.

"I don't want her to have problems. I want her to be happy. So the least she can do is gain my parent's favor. Para 'yong mga magulang ko na 'yon, hindi na makialam sa relasyon namin."

"Bakit feeling ko, balak mo nang dalhin sa next level itong namamagitan sa atin? You still love me, don't you?" paglambing ng kanyang tono habang hinihimas-himas si Jared mula sa batok pababa sa mga balikat at mga braso.

Nangingiting pinaningkitan siya ni Jared ng mga mata. "Ah.. nanghuhuli ka."

"Just say it, damn it," nakukulitan na talaga siya rito. Bahagyang nagtangis ang mga bagan niya sa sobrang gigil sa binata. "Alam mo namang halatang-halata ka na!"

"Kung naniniwala kang iyan ang dahilan kaya ganito ako umakto o magsalita, bakit kailangan mo pa akong tanungin? Why do you need a confirmation from me?" hamon nito.

"Iba na 'yong sigurado!"

"Walang sigurado sa mundong ito," malambing na pisil ni Jared sa kanyang baba. "Noon nga, sigurado na akong may pakakasalan na akong babae. I even bought her a diamond ring in Antwerp days before we are supposed to meet again in front of the cathedral."

Namilog ang mga mata ni Lily. I already knew it's for me... but why...

She felt her heart thump wildly.

Why am I still... surprised?

"But look what happened," pagtatapos ng confession ni Jared.

Piniga niya ang hawak na mga braso ni Jared. "Just fucking say it. You still love me."

Ngumiti lang ito ng tipid at nang-aasar na umiling-iling.

Masyado yatang ginalingan ng lalaking ito ang pag-hindi.

"What game are you trying to play?" Nauubusan na siya ng pasensya.

Hindi niya malaman ang gagawin nung kumilos na si Jared. Tinukod ng binata ang mga braso para iangat ang katawan. All his weight moved to his lower body, pressing his crotch harder against her.

Napatingin tuloy siya roon.

No... no...

No, he should not go.
No, he should stay.

Damn, it. Just fuck me, Jared. Even if discreet. Even if it won't cause alarm and scandal. Just...

Yayakapin sana ng mga binti niya ang balakang ng lalaki pero naunahan siya nito. He quickly scrambled out of the bed and straightened his shirt once he got up. Jared gave her one last look. Umaasa yata ang sub niya na pipigilan ito.

But Lily held back. Umupo lang siya ng maayos sa kama at mataman itong tinitigan.

"Have a good night, Ma'am," magalang nitong tango sa kanya.

As soon as Jared spun around to head for the door, hindi rin nakatiis si Lily.

"Subby!"

He looked at her over his shoulder. "Yes, Ma'am?"

"You can't leave yet. Hindi pa tapos ang pagsisilbi mo sa akin."

Tuluyan na itong humarap sa kanya. "I said no already, about the sex."

"That's not what I mean."

Amusement danced in his eyes, followed by genuine curiosity.

"At your service, Ma'am. What else do you need?" lakad nito pabalik sa kanya.

"Make my sleep as comfortable as possible, please?" aniya habang dahan-dahang hinihiga patihaya ang sarili.

She sexily propped her body with an arm, slowly lowered herself into a side lounge position, placed her legs atop one another with a little rub against each other before she put down her other arm as well. Nauwi iyon sa nakatihayang posisyon habang nakatagilid pa rin ang mga hita.

Her mesmerizing gaze remained locked on Jared's eyes.

She killed him with an edgy smile.

"How can I do that?" tanong nito, kontrolado ang paghinga.

Pinaghiwalay ni Lily ang mga binti para maiangat ang isa. She reached for his chest with her toe, but only managed to touch his crotch in the process. Natigilan siya dahil mali ang tantya, pero pinagtakpan agad ang gulat. She did so by smiling while seductively dragging her toe to follow the form of his hard bulge down to one of his thighs.

Her eyes were still having a hot staring match with Jared's.

"Tuck me in to sleep, Jared baby."

"What are you a baby?"

"Your baby," she smirked. "Remember..." she trailed off.

She was about to remind him what they talked about back in Belgium. When he said he will be her babysitter if she will be his baby... That conversation that became the reason why they called each other baby back then...

But she stopped. She looked at him expectantly. Umasa siyang magpapakita ito ng senyales o sasabihing naalala iyon ni Jared.

But Lily only disappointed herself.

"But you're my Domme," pang-aalaska nito.

Pinagtakpan niya ang maliit na kirot sa puso.

"Gusto mong dagdagan ko ang parusa mo?" nakangiti niyang hamon dito.

"You'll be the worst Domme if you do that. You know that's not how BDSM works. You can't be abusive to your Sub. A no is a no." Umupo ito sa dulo ng kama nang hawak ang kanyang paa na pinangkiskis dito. "I will serve you, but in return, you have to take care of me."

Lumambot ang kanyang ekspresyon. Alam niya iyon. Ilang beses na siya naging dominante sa mga lalaking nakilala niya sa The Org. Pero bakit pagdating kay Jared, ganito?

She just wanted him to do everything she says. She could not accept the fact that Jared won't cooperate in fulfilling her fantasies. That Jared was a human, not a girl's ideal man. He will love her not the way she wanted to be loved, but the by way he loves.

Lily should learn that by now. At paninindigan niya.

Dahil ayaw niyang mawala na naman sa kanya si Jared...

"Kapag naging masarap ang tulog ko ngayong gabi, bibilhan kita ng ice cream."

His eyes lit up in an instant. So, he still loves ice creams! "Coldstone?"

"Haagen Das."

Masigasig nitong minasahe ang kanyang paa. Her mouth slightly dropped open.

Damn, it just felt so... good.

"What about Carmen's?"

"Bukas na natin pag-usapan kung ano. Just..." dahan-dahang hiniga ni Lily ang sarili. Napapikit siya sa katamtamang lambot ng kama na sumalubong sa kanyang likod. "Just... help me get a good sleep, Subby..."

Naging tahimik sila pagkatapos niyon. Minasahe ni Jared ang magkabila niyang paa. She could feel his eyes on her, softly gazing. She was wondering what he is thinking while looking at her. How she hoped he is looking at her lovingly right now. She hoped Jared is thinking good things about her, and that he still loves her.

Lily had trust issues, that's why no matter how many times Jared refused to admit he still loves her, she won't give up on him. She will wait for the day when he gets over with his fear to trust her again, with his fear that she might ghost him again.

And when that day comes, she will be there to hear him say it to her one more time.

I love you.

She imagined Jared's voice, saying those words to her.

Lily had a lot of deep thoughts as Jared massaged her feet. And before she knew it, she was already dozing off...

...with a smile.