"THANKS FOR THE OFFER, but I don't need to know her through your perspective. I want to get to know her from her own words and actions," Jared's eyes blazed with distate. "That's why we're dating."

"Wow. How sweet," matabang na saad ni Oliver, sarkastiko ang ngisi. He slowly stepped back. "I hope you enjoy what you..." keeping them hanging with his short pause was Oliver's intentional lame dynamics. "...discover."

Then, Oliver glanced at Lily. "See you around, Lily."

See you around? Nanghihilakbot niyang sunod ng tingin kay Oliver.

Umatras ito ng kaunti palayo, nakatitig sa kanila na para bang nag-aabang pa ng reaksyon mula sa kanila ni Jared. Bad for him because all she could do was stare at him in utter shock.

See you around...

See you around...

Lily...

And Jared just looked on until Oliver turned around. Nang makatalikod, kampanteng lumakad na ito palayo sa kanilang kinatatayuan.

Nakalayo na si Oliver pero hindi pa rin makahinga ng maluwag si Lily. She shouldn't be bothered like exactly how she felt upon seeing Oliver earlier. But after what he just did, insinuated and told Jared...

Ano ba ang kasalanan ko sa kanya? He already won. Nasunod na lahat ng gusto niyang mangyari noon. Bakit parang siya pa ang may galit? Bakit gusto niyang sirain ngayon ang buhay ko?

Nakatanaw pa rin si Lily kay Oliver. Malaking bulto na lamang ito ng anino sa malayo. Tumabi sa kanya si Jared. Inihilig niya ang ulo nang maramdaman ang presensya nito. Lilingunin niya sana ang lalaki, titingnan kung ano ang reaksyong nasa mukha nito. Pero hindi iyon natuloy dahil napunta ang kanyang tingin sa nilahad nitong kamay.

She stared at his open palm, offering to be held by her hand.

"Let's go?" masuyong saad nito na para bang walang nangyari.

Lily was hesitant. Does she even deserve to be held by Jared's hand? She was right here keeping secrets from him, afraid that if the truth comes out he would have second thoughts about being with her.

In the midst of questioning as to whether she's deserving or not, Lily still placed her hand on his'. Pinanood niya ang pagtiklop ng mga daliri ni Jared para yakapin ang kanyang kamay. Pagkatapos, kapwa bumaba ang kanilang mga kamay.

May napansin si Jared sa iniwanan niyang wooden bench.

"Your drink?"

Saglit lang iyon tiningnan ni Lily. Then she returned her worried eyes on Jared.

"I don't want it anymore."

He just nodded, acknowledging her decision to just leave that disposable plastic cup of milk tea on the wooden bench. Their hands swayed slightly as Jared guided her away from the front of the fountain.

"Saan mo gustong mag-dinner?" ani Jared habang naglalakad sila. "Do you want to go to that chocolate café again?"

Lily pursed her lips. "Please, do me a favor. Let's not act like nothing happened."

"That's not my intention. We both know what happened back there is really getting on our nerves." Dama niya ang pagmasahe ng mga daliri ng kamay nitong nakahawak sa kanya. "That's why, I want us to unwind so we'll make ourselves feel better. Why? Should we just stress ourselves over that bastard? Pwede rin naman iyon," magaan nitong ngiti sa kanya. "You can cry on my shoulder, and me? I'll embrace you."

Tumango-tango si Lily. Jared was right. Something really bad happened, that's why they need to find a way to feel better. At the same time, she was not in the mood to cry. Walang nakakaiyak sa pinag gagagawa ng Oliver na iyon. Nakakagalaiti lang ito. Nakakatakot. Pakiramdam niya nasa slasher movie siya kung saan may stalker na nagbabantang patayin ang bida.

She took in a deep breath. Paano siya makaka-relax kung ganito ang epekto sa kanya ng mga nangyari? Ang lakas pa rin ng kabog ng kanyang dibdib. Pakiramdam niya, nasa paligid pa rin si Oliver.

See you around...

Lily.

His voice echoed once again at the back of her mind. Her heart ran frantic. Panicky. Nasa paligid ba si Oliver? May binabalak ba itong masama? Hihintayin ba nitong maghiwalay sila ng landas ni Jared ngayong gabi? Mag-aabang ba ito kay Jared sa parking lot para isiwalat dito ang tinatago niyang sikreto?

"We can have some beer," silip ni Jared sa kanyang mukha.

Mukhang maaliwalas ang mukha ng binata. Kung nag-aalala man ito, wala siyang makitang bakas niyon. He looked at her as if he was so self-assured that he got this.

That he got her.

That small reassuring smile hinted by his lips lightened her tension.

But it didn't leave her chest.

"Nakatanggap ka na ba ng text galing sa HR? Tungkol sa meeting?"

"Yes." Was he attempting to steer her thoughts away from Oliver? Because talking about her issue with Variant wasn't helping. Lalo lang bumibigat ang kanyang pakiramdam. "They want to meet me tomorrow at 3 P.M. Sa conference room sa ground floor."

Kakatapos lang ni Lily magsalita kaya nagulat siya nang humarang si Jared sa kanyang dadaanan. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Do as I say," matamang titig ni Jared sa kanyang mga mata.

Nakipagtitigan siya sa mga mata nito. Naguguluhan kung ano ang balak ipagawa ng binata sa kanya. But all she could do was trust him. It was painful to think about her trusting someone again, but she had to if she wanted this thing between her and Jared to keep going.

How she badly wanted this thing between her and Jared to last until the end of their lifetimes.

Lily would not swallow her pride and stand for anyone but Jared.

With Jared, she felt safer. Safe again to trust, to be vulnerable.

Although being open to him about her secret might take some time to happen, by now she's willing to take one more step further just to get closer to him.

Maingat na lumapat ang mga kamay ni Jared sa kanyang mga balikat. He lowered his touch to her upper arms. Lily watched. Jared gave her upper arms a gentle squeeze, making her lift her eyes to meet his gaze to shoot a questioning look. But it seems like, Jared expected that from her. Sinadya nitong pisilin ang kanyang mga braso para kunin muli ang buo niyang atensyon.

"I hope this will help to take away your worries."

Halatang-halata ba sa kanyang hitsura na nag-aalala siya dahil sa mga nangyari kanina?

"When I say inhale, you breathe through your nose. Keep your mouth closed. As soon as you have inhaled enough, pout your lips."

"Pout?" ewan kung matatawa ba siya sa pinapagawa nito.

"Pout your lips but hold your breath still," mapang-unawang ngiti nito sa kanya. Sumimple pa ng hawi sa hibla ng kanyang buhok para isabit iyon sa likuran ng kanyang tainga. "At kapag ready ka na, you exhale. But-" he lifted a point finger. "But your lips has to be still pouting while you exhale."

"May mae-exhale ba ako n'on?"

Magaan itong tumawa. "Meron. Basta 'yung pagkakanguso mo, siguraduhin mong may makakalabas pa rin na hangin. Okay?"

"Paano matatanggal nito ang badtrip ko sa panggugulo ng ex kong walang magawa sa buhay?" She could not help blabbering on. Nasanay si Lily na hindi na lang pinapaliwanag ang sarili sa iba. Ewan kung bakit gusto niyang linawin kay Jared ang lahat-lahat. "I don't even know why he's here. I tried to treat him civilly, pero kung anu-ano na ang mga pinagsasasabi niya. Pati ikaw dinadamay pa niya."

Tumigil siya nang makitang imbes mag-alala, nangingiti pa sa kanya ang lalaki.

"Hindi mo naman sineseryoso ang mga sinasabi ko, eh," gusot ng kanyang mukha.

"It worries me that you feel that way. But I have to keep myself together. Because who will make you feel better, kung pati ako makikisabay ng pag-aalala sa'yo?"

"Okay. I'll do what you're saying kanina." Tumuwid si Lily ng pagkakatayo. "Game."

"Okay..." Jared stepped back to stretch out his arms, still holding her in place as his eyes intently watched her. "Inhale."

Lily inhaled.

When she has nothing left to inhale, she held her breath and slowly pursed her lips.

Nakatitig pa rin sa kanya si Jared. Nagbibilang yata sa isip o nagtatantya bago nagsalita.

"Exhale."

Dahan-dahang pinadaan ni Lily sa nakangusong mga labi ang kanyang hininga. It took longer to exhale it all than she expected. As soon as Lily lifted her eyes on Jared, he was already peering close to her. Pinanood niya ang paglapit pa ng mukha nito at nabasa niya ang balak gawin ng lalaki.

Pinigilan niya ang mangiti ng pilya, walang pagtutol niyang hinayaang tuluyang lumapat ang mga labi nito sa nakanguso niyang mga labi.

They pressed for what felt like a long time, longer than forever.

Lily gently closed her eyes, felt their kiss and forgot the place where they were at. She only snapped back to reality when Jared pulled away.

Muling nagtama ang kanilang mga mata.

"Sans the kiss," he grinned victoriously, "what you did is called the Pursed Lip Technique. In case atakehin ka ng kaba bago ang meeting natin sa Variant, just do that, okay? Not just once, but as much as you like."

"Paano kung hindi tumalab?"

"Let me know early," he took her hand again, "para makapuslit tayo kahit saglit. Then I'll kiss you."

Napalabi tuloy siya. "Lumalala ang kakornihan mo, Jared."

Natawa ito. "Kakornihan, pero aminin mo. Tumatalab, 'di ba?"

"I don't know if it's the breathing technique or the kiss that made me feel better," she murmured as she lead Jared. With their hands clasped, Lily freely tugged him along with her.

"Both can do that. Both can't as well. Ang mahalaga, magaan na ang pakiramdam mo."

Nilingon niya si Jared. Something felt sad about the way the soft yellow pathway lightings touched his face.

"Eh, ikaw? Mabuti na ba ang pakiramdam mo?"

Hindi ito agad nakasagot. Nadurog tuloy siya.

Na-realize din ni Jared na hindi ito nakasagot agad kaya napapitlag. Damang-dama iyon ni Lily dahil magkahawak ang kanilang mga kamay. Napalingon si Jared sa kanya.

"Sorry, I was just-"

Pinihit niya ito paharap sa kanya. Mabilis niyang kinabig si Jared at siniil ng mainit na halik sa mga labi. She felt his shock, then hands on her waists. But for Lily, she was not doing enough.

Nilaliman pa niya ang halik sa lalaki. Maingat na dinaanan ng mga daliri ang buhok nito sa bandang batok paitaas sa likuran ng ulo. Nilapat niya ang katawan sa katawan nito at hindi tumigil hanggang sa matugunan ni Jared ang kanyang halik.

Hanggang sa halos bumaon sa kanyang baywang ang mga daliri nito sa higpit ng pagkakahawak sa kanya. Gayon din ang pagdiin ng mga labi ni Jared sa kanya. Kapwa sila naghinang at sumiklab. Her heat heightened and fought of the dreary coldness of the December night.

She could feel it. She could feel that Jared was starting to take it all out on her.

His stress, his worries, how threatened he felt about Oliver's presence earlier... Jared was taking it out on her.

.

.

.

***

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.

.

LILY WAS WELCOMED BY SKIN. The skin of Jared's bare chest.

She was fleeting, the feeling of waking up in paradise. Nag-angat siya ng isang kamay para damahin ang dibdib nito ng kanyang mga daliri muna, tapos kanyang palad naman. Mainit-init ang pagkakadampi ng kanyang palad sa malamig-lamig nitong dibdib. Lumamig dahil matagal-tagal na ring na-expose sa lamig ng kanyang silid.

Lily curled her body, cuddled closer to him once it began to sink in that it is indeed chilly in her room. Sarado ang mga bintana't pinto, maging ang two-doors patungo sa balkonahe. Naka-on magdamag ang air-conditioner. Masarap ang tulog ni Jared kaya tiniis niya ang lamig imbes gisingin ito. Iniwan niya ang kumot sa lalaki at hubo't hubad na tinawid ang kwarto mula sa kama papunta sa cabinet. She put on a fluffy mint-colored silk robe before turning off the air-con. Malamlam na ang madilim na asul sa kalangitan, senyales na nag-aagawan ang dilim at liwanag ng bukang-liwayway. Lily opened the balcony doors and the windows. She placed her hands on the windowsill, closed her eyes and took in a deep breath of fresh air.

The air was cool and crisp. It has a chill to it that reminds her of Christmas, a sultry fog, fresh cut grass and sweet morning dew flavored the air.

There were distinct chirping of birds in the background, soft rustles from the nearby trees. The neighborhood was more quiet than usual. Ngayon lang naa-appreciate ni Lily ang mga bagay na ito dahil ngayon lang naman siya natural na nagising ng ganitong oras. Gumuhit ang kontentong ngiti sa kanyang mga labi.

And when she opened her eyes, Lily stared out to the skies. In a few minutes, it slowly began to pull off its dark blue blanket and revealed a soft pinkish yellow strand from the rising sun.

It was beautiful. How she wished Jared could see it with her. But she didn't want to disturb his sleep.

She looked at him over his shoulder. Jared deserve some good sleep. Maalis man lang sa pamamagitan niyon ang mga agam-agam nito.

Nilisan din ni Lily ang silid. Naghalungkat sa kusina ng malulutong almusal para sa kanilang dalawa. She could not believe she's cooking for someone again.

Napangiti siya sa isiping iyon.

Naghanda siya ng pancakes, bagong saing na kanin at ilang piraso ng hotdog at ham. Kinailangan pa niyang mag-drive palabas na silk robe lang ang suot para bumili ng pandesal na may butter sa pinakaunang bakery na nadaanan niya. She dropped by a convenient store to grab some clear honey syrup for the pancakes.

Nang makabalik sa bahay, tulog pa rin si Jared. Tinapos niya ang paghain sa mga pagkain. Hinuli niya ang pagtitimpla ng kape. Saktong sulpot ni Jared sa dining room.

She heard his sharp inhale upon seeing her. Lily gave him a smile then shortly returned her eyes on the coffee.

Lumapit ang binata sa kanya, pantalon na lang nito mula kagabi ang suot.

"Take a shower quick. At nang makakain na tayo."

Kumurap-kurap ito at pumuwesto sa kanyang likuran. Natigilan si Lily. Napasinghap. Bigla kasi siyang hinablot ni Jared sa bewang para yakapin. She felt his chest heave heavily against her back, the side of his face against the side of her head.

"Bad dreams?"

"I'm not scared or anything."

"Am I with Jared or with a Psychologist today? Because I think, a Psychologist would hide what they really feel to keep their clients at ease. And Jared would be honest to me because he knows I require honesty in relationships."

Fuck. Did Lily just shade herself? Because if there's someone who's keeping secrets here, it was her.

"I just wanted to embrace you. That's all. This is a thank you for all the food you prepared."

"Why thank me? Who said you can eat these?"

Humiwalay ito ng yakap, sumilip sa kanyang mukha ang nanlalaki nitong mga mata.

"Are you being serious?"

Lily threw her head back and bursted out laughing.

"Silly! I'm just kidding!"

Hinablot tuloy siya nito sa pangahan, tusong kumislap ang mga mata.

"You..." he grinned before slamming his lips on hers.

Damn. He tasted so raw, so natural. More watery from the mouth wash he just had when he woke up. Lily kissed back, gentler than how he kissed. The way she kissed made Jared slow down and kiss her tenderly.

"After this, I have to go to work. See you at 3PM," he murmured against her lips a reminder of her meeting today.

Lily lowered her eyes. Today is the day. Haharapin ko na sila.

Then, she stole a glance at Jared.

Ayon sa tinext sa akin, kasama rin sa meeting si Jared. What would he do kapag nalagay ako sa alanganin doon. Will he still choose to do... the right thing?