I'm fairly new at the Manhattan branch of Net Insurance Enterprise, so my straight married male co-worker, Roman, has been inviting me for drinks for the past few weeks. I've made a lot of excuses not to until yesterday.

He finally asked me if he's done anything wrong to me.

The truth is, I had a crush on him the moment I saw him. I was honest and open with him when he asked me.

I told him I'm kinda scorned from love and I'd rather keep away from him because I had a crush on him.

I'd rather not spend any time with him because those feelings might get worse.

Today he came back looking annoyed and he told me I was being selfish and immature. There are plenty of people who harbour romantic feelings for each other, they just deal with it.

I shouldn't reject people just because I felt something for them..I disagree because I think it's my prerogative to protect myself from potential discomfort and heartbreak.

Married men use us for many things including sex all the time and they go back to their wives.

Not to say that's what he was after. But on account of me having feelings for him, I'd rather we don't even become friends. And even if there is a thing on his side, I'd rather die than do anything with a bisexual/married/bicurious man.

I really don't think I'm wrong in this situation but he's a bit tense around me now. It's not the me, per say, at all, I think he genuinely believes I'm being selfish and immature.

I have a right to protect myself, right? 

It was a gloomy, cold night when I sat in my living room, sipping brandy. I lit about ten candles and put on some Barry White. I thought about when I first traveled to New York.

I smiled to myself. It was four, maybe five years ago. I never dreamed that after my experience with Reggie's twin brother, I'd return back to Miami, Florida just to make a decision to move to New York permanently...

I closed my eyes and dreamed of my first time in the city that never sleeps...