When he crossed the street, running in front of luxury cars like he’d lost his mind, I turned on my engine. I then rolled down my driver side window for some much-needed air, asked the Niggah in the Cadillac Escalade could I cut in front of him and he and his boys whistled at me when he allowed
me to do so.

I zoomed up to my victim, blew the horn and said, “You got enough cash?”

I smiled sweetly. Men were on my jock, elbowing each other, nodding in my direction. He checked for his wallet.

“Where’s my…” I dangled it in his face. “Have a safe flight back to Alabama. Oh, I got your wife’s number in my cell phone, you call the police I call your bitch! You’ve been punked!”

Squealing, I drove off, speeding up Ocean Drive, turning onto 5th Street. I was heading for the Macarthur Causeway, going home to count this loot.

I shook the memories away as I stared at the huge white and beige church. I earned close to three grand last night.

When I got home, I ordered four thousand dollars worth of clothes from Prada, Gucci and Sean John, entered his credit card information and had the items shipped to an abandoned address up in the City, next door to my girl Stacey, who I called and put on alert.

“Girl, I got you, can you order me those Beyonce shoes.”

“Beyonce got shoes?”

“That’s what I heard, girl. And I want that dress she flaunting in the Deja Vu Video.”

“I got you, girl. And that’s a corny ass video. Looks like outtakes from the Baby Boy video.”

“I love it. But we’re all waiting for Miss Jackson’s Call on Me video with sexy-ass Nelly. They showed a V.I.P. Peek on BET tonight, girl, she is hot hot hot with that Massai Tribe outfit and
the Mohawk. I got the Mohawk!”

“No you don’t, girl! You got the Mohawk already? I might get it, too! It’ll go good with my snap-and-you’ll-miss-it skirt and my rhinestone pumps, Chile!”

“Shit, order me some Apple Bottom pants while I’m thinking about it. Did you do one day delivery?”

“You damn right!”

“Girl, you’re so crazy.”

I hung up the phone. Now I could pay my rent and car note and buy some feminine products because I was on my period when homeboy ate me out in my car.

I wondered when he was going to realize my blood was all over the lower part of his face when he went to Wet Willy’s to get me that drink.

I wasn’t going to say anything. And he
actually wondered why I didn’t kiss him.

Chile, please. I was a freak.

But not that freaky!