𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎.

I wonder why was I created this way? I see people going about their life, without a care in the world. They make connections; they speak their mind. Do they have it all figured out? Have they never sat alone with their thoughts? Have their thoughts never eaten at their brain? How do they cope with their life?

I don't know.

How do I cope with life?

This is how:

I read.

I write.

I escape.

One time I told this to someone. He wasn't exactly a friend, but always saw my nose in books and he asked. (Most of the time, that's all it takes. You need only to ask.) So I proudly told him this is how I escape reality. Mind you, I never thought if it was healthy to dissociate from reality. I was proud to have a way to keep my negative thoughts at bay. I was proud to have my active imagination be stimulated. But he asked, "Is that a good thing? Shouldn't you try to improve your reality?"

And I was speechless.

Yes, he did give me a new perspective unknowingly.

Now he lives on the other side of the globe and to be honest we never talked much, but after I gave some thought to his question, I realized how important it is to also improve my reality. And I do try. I try to live in a healthy way, but sometimes it's so hard. Sometimes I wish I didn't think too much, feel too much, love too much. But I do. That's how I was made. Maybe that's how I'll always be.

𝙰 𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐.

⫷∻∻∻∻∻⫸