23 December 2017

Indiana

The Massie family visited GramGram this year. She laid out a feast for us and asked me to help her with the dishes afterward. I nodded, knowing that she wanted to talk with me.

"Will you be returning to Seoul next year?" the octogenarian collected the plates and left them in the left half of the dual sink. Warm water gushed from the mixer as she added liquid soap, creating a sudsy mixture.

"I think I should consult the crystal," I put on an apron and gloves, grabbing the sponge by the soft side. The grease in the pots and pans would take longer to remove so I let them soak.

"Always a failproof plan," she nodded.

"I wanted to do the questioning here as my mum does not approve," I confided in her.

"As lovely as my daughter-in-law is, I say that her pushing you to be a K-pop idol was her only mistake," GramGram watched me scrub away at the utensils. "If you became a Western idol like Adele, it wouldn't have been so bad."

"You read the comments about me online, didn't you?" I smiled at her.

"I created a stan account and gave them a piece of my mind," she winked conspiratorially. "Ain't nobody gonna talk smack about my grandbaby and get away with it."

She asked me to sing some of her favourite songs as we washed and I humoured her. Depending on what the divination revealed, it might be one of the last concerts I gave.

"Pick the one you feel most attracted to," we were in her room.

I looked at the gemstones before me: beryl and quartz, agate and topaz, emerald and peridot. All were green, the colour that determined career choices. My hand lay before a hexagonal emerald before I held it in my palm, feeling the energy pulse from my fingertips to my heart. Laying it on the dresser, I unclasped the pendant adorning my neck and removed the rose quartz, the crystal given to me at birth. The green gem did not fit as well into the silver but it remained stationary, which was good enough.

"Should I stay in Pristin?"

The crystal spun in a circle to the right- "no". "Will Pristin disband?"

My heart threatened to drop out of my chest when it twirled in the opposite direction.

"Should I stay in Pledis?"

The emerald swung to the left again. I had expected this so I inhaled again. "Will I continue to be a musician?"

The chain nearly fell out of my hand when the pendant formed a circle to the right.

GramGram nodded, approving of how well my divination skills had improved since the first time she had taught me.

"I am still lost though," I returned the green gem to the octogenarian and returned the rose quartz to its rightful position. I tried not to think of the 20 to 30 songs that Pristin hadn't released.

"You have plenty of time to figure that out, Kyla. For now, I would advise you to go to one of the high schools in Santa Clarita and lead the life of a normal teenager," she opened the door for me. I hugged her and went to the room I would be sharing with my younger sister.

I looked at the group chat- other than sending and reacting to memes, we weren't really talking about a comeback. I missed the dorm, cluttered with clothes, makeup and accessories.