20 August 2016

A stage in Seoul

My guest for today was An Yeseul. She was in IOI with Nayoung and Kyulkung eonnies but on this Earth, she was an actress. Yeseul sunbae was also born in the USA and she recognised me from some of the CFs I had done for toys and clothing brands. When I had started training, she had just started dating Teddy Park, the American rapper who now produced for YG. They had just broken up but we were to not bring this up in front of our audience.

"How do you feel?" she asked as the artists removed our makeup.

"It was my first time interviewing someone but I thought it went pretty well," a small sigh escaped my lips.

"That's an interesting way of putting things," the actress would have turned to me if we were alone.

"On the day of my first concert, I hadn't received any applause or cheers at all," I thought to the day the swelling excitement in my heart deflated in disappointment at not being acknowledged.

"It's sad that society determines our worth on something as trivial as weight," she closed her eyes when the artist assigned to her removed the fake eyelashes.

"Beauty shouldn't be our rent for existing," I was glad to have someone other than Yehana and Sungyeon eonnies agree with me.

"I believe that out of all the rappers in girl groups out there, you could actually change the face of K- pop," Yeseul sunbae didn't know how elated I was to hear those words. There was also a lot of pressure to make them a reality but Pledis accepted me despite my weight, and I would make the fatphobic acknowledge my worth too.

"It's a pity that Pledis released our MVs around the same time," Hansol waited for me at the training room with Mexican food from a restaurant in Itaewon.

"Well besty, even if we said anything, they wouldn't listen," I sighed, reminding him that the CEO had made a deal with deities where my fellow trainees left their sisters to perform in another Earth.

"They're returning next week, right? I know you missed them a lot," we removed the packaging from our food, steam wafting from the savoury Korean interpretation of a taco, talking about what we'd do if Pledis magically changed for the better or if we escaped from the dungeon.