In the hours following Canary's departure, I floated about the Cave. I never lingered long in a room, sometimes I stepped in only to exit. Other rooms I'd walk the walls before moving on. It gave me something to focus on, or more aptly lose myself in.

Bad thoughts could not strangle my mind if I did not think.

And so, I continued my mindless wander. Mother glanced at me the first time through the living room. Father opened his mouth the second. I didn't make a third pass.

Deeper and deeper I went through the halls, slipping through the few secret passages I'd discovered. No good for hiding, not when the League had used this base, but Mother and Father would never think to look for them. My sandals hit the metal walkway with a loud clang, and I wandered through the generator room. The motors whirred and shook, a deep vibration that climbed up through my feet. Drab and dull, the same as my room, but here I could tolerate it. Here, it didn't serve as a cruel reminder of my room at home.

Percy and I's room at home.

Colorful stones and bright belongings spun in my head: the twin stuffed walruses, Percy's sashes thrown over chairs, my English tests tucked under a loose stone. Mother sitting with us and telling us stories. Percy clinging to Father while sick, and him singing her a lullaby (Mother would have to come keep me from crawling into bed with her those nights. Not that it mattered.)

I walked to the hanger and sat at the edge of the waterpool. Cool water lapped at my ankles. My fingers brushed over the surface. Ripples. Every action caused something else.

How much would things have changed if I choose to let Percy torture me?

(She'd have killed herself in her cell, but my gills might not have been injured. I avoided hers. Was that a good trade or a bad one?)

Footsteps, heavy and from boots, came behind me. For a moment, I pretended it was Robin. But the footsteps were too heavy. Canary made more sense. The jacket should have finished washing, and I'd be happy to have it back.

"How are you doing, kid?" Green Arrow asked. I shrugged. He sat. "Yeah, I can get that. I...I want to apologize. I didn't know Di– Canary had given you that jacket. If I had, I wouldn't have tried to take it. Now then,"--he placed his hand on my shoulder– "Is there anything you want to do?"

I looked at him.

"Kid. You're seventeen, and as much as torture fucks with you— you should be allowed to do things you want."

My shoulders, slumped as they were, dropped further. "I cannot swim. Not if I wish to have a chance of returning home." Natural water came with the risk of parasites, and it was bad enough to have them once. I grimaced and resisted the urge to rub at my gills. "It would risk more damage."

"Well, do you want to play a board game?"

"Did Canary send you?"

"Doesn't even know I'm here," he said with a grin. "Trust me, she gave me an earful when we went home. She's a real momma bird. Er, don't tell her I said that. So, what'll it be? You wanna go get ice cream? Make me bundle up so you can play basketball outside?"

I chuckled. "It is not that cold out."

"I'm from California. Anything below fifty and I'm layering up." Green Arrow stood up. He offered me a hand to pull me up. "Actually, I think I've got an idea that I think you'll like. Go wait for me by the Zetas, don't want your folks freaking out about you going missing."

I did as he said.

Ten minutes passed by on the clock. Mother followed him in, and I suppressed a sigh. She stood in front of me, lips pressed together and brow creased. So many years had piled onto her face. She lifted a hand, cupped my face, and kissed my cheek.

"Be good," she said.

Staring at her, I shifted. She didn't need to be worried about me. I'd been handling myself for years, and Wally was the one who got the Team into trouble. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me.

"Can you do my hair later?" I asked. It wouldn't be much, maybe not even enough, but it would soothe some of that worry. And if I flinched away from people for a day or two, hopefully they would assume it was from a flashback.

"If that is what you want."

"Thank you."

"Okay, kid, time to get going. And don't worry, I'll keep an eye on him. If I don't have him back by tonight, don't worry, just wait a few hours." Green Arrow waved a hand as he typed in authorization codes and a location.

The location ended up being what Green Arrow called his "Arrow Cave". He chattered aimlessly as he changed out of his uniform–thankfully slipping sweats over the compression shorts–and when he threw on a shirt, he walked to me and stuck out his hand.

"Oliver Queen, nice to meet you." His mustache drooped when I didn't shake his hand. Then his shoulders fell and I ducked my head. "Right," he said. "Sorry, kid."

Oliver gestured for me to follow him and led me up a set of stairs and through a cellar into the Queen Mansion. The smell of cooking sweets hung in the air.

"Dinah, Roy, we've got a guest!"

"It better not be Barry again! He's going to burn through our grocery budget."

I looked around. Paintings hung on the walls every couple feet. A large window at the end of the hallway bathed the floor with warm light. In the other direction, I could only see a little bit before the hall split off. And around that corner–

"Kaldur?" Roy's eyes widened. His hair was matted on one side, like he'd just gotten up. "Where the hell have you been?" Quick steps carried him to me. "God, you look like shit."

"Roy."

"He's my friend, I think I'm allowed to– Why is he hugging me?"

Friend, my mind echoed. I pressed my face harder into his shoulder. My fingers dug into his back. He smelled like laundry detergent, with only a hint of alcohol. No smoke. No blood. He was safe. Roy stumbled back as I sagged against him. He wouldn't hurt me.

Without knowing, he had no reason to. (Taking advantage of that was wrong, wasn't it?) Another arm slipped around me, pulling some weight away from Roy.

"Hi, little bird," said Canary. Unlatching from Roy, I moved to Canary's grasp. "Do you want something to eat?"

"How come he gets a nickname?" Roy compained.

"Because you complain when I call you one." She pressed a kiss to my temple. As much as I tried to hide my smile before–I couldn't risk her asking more questions– one bloomed on my lips. Contentment swirled through me, and the steady stream increased in pressure the longer she held me.

"Dinah, the cookies."

"Shit." Dinah rushed to the kitchen, leaving me dazed. Oliver, with a hand on my shoulder, led me to the living room. A large sofa took up the space in front of the television. Green curtains blocked the light. Busts and vases probably worth more than I was were scattered about the stands and sideboards. A potted lily sat on the coffee table.

He sat beside me. A few hushed words, questions I nodded to without thinking, and his hand was in my hair. I leaned towards him, angling my body so his shoulder pressed against my collarbone.

"I can give you a haircut if you want," he said. "I don't get how it got this long so quickly."

"Increased regeneration accelerates our hair growth." I pressed further into the touch. More. More. My body nearly vibrated with the need for affection. But I couldn't– I wouldn't ask– for more than they offered. This was more than I should accept. "I wish to keep it like this. For the moment at least. It reminds me of when I was younger."

Those days when I would clutch at Mother's skirts and hide behind her. When Father would let me climb on him. Back when protecting Percy meant glaring down a kid calling her names. Something in me ached.

"Well, Roy's eating all of the cookies, so if you want one you better go now," said Dinah. The couch dipped. Heat radiated from her and pressed against me. She eased me away from Oliver and down until my head rested on her lap. She dragged her nails over my scalp, focusing on certain spots when I melted and pressed into her hand like a kitten.

I tried to ignore how much this reminded me of Mother. (What would she think of such a betrayal?)

After long minutes of silence, my eyes drifted closed.

"Rest, little bird," whispered Dinah. "I'll wake you up if you have a nightmare."

"...Promise?"

"Promise."

And I actually finished this on saturday, aren't you proud of me for prewriting a chapter for once?

(Y'all got lucky, by which I mean, I got lucky because my power finally came back on after going off Tuesday at like 12:30 am, so i get to keep to this schedule for once!)

Anyway, since I'm curious

Live

Die

See yah