13
on your toes

Two small figures whizzed in and out of a  cobblestone path, laughing wildly as they bumped into each other, dodging other park goers with a sticky sweet "excuse me" and a smile. The figures, Celia and Joseph, would occasionally look back at us to make sure we were still hot on their tails, and then they'd resume their little game with uncontrollable giggles.

At one point they actually did run into someone — an elderly woman with short grey hair and a semi-scowl as she looked down at Celia and Joseph. Nate jogged to catch up to them, giving the woman an apology as he struggled to keep the kids still — as they fought to get out of his grip and to each other. The woman merely rolled her eyes and walked away, muttering something about people these days and needing to control their children.

I fought a smile as Nate lifted Joseph onto his shoulders and took Celia's hand as he led them away from the path and onto the grass. Celia bounced around, looking up at Nate eagerly with a toothy smile, meanwhile Joseph leaned down to whisper something indiscernible into his ear. Whatever it was made Nate laugh, sending the children into another round of screams and giggles.

In a quieter area of the park, under the trees which were dripping with leftover rain from the previous day, Nate carefully leaned down, taking Joseph off his shoulders. He placed him down on the wooden park bench, next to Celia who'd already broken free from Nate's hold and was reaching out her little arms towards him. Joseph protested profusely as Celia proceeded to tickle him mercilessly, meanwhile Nate looked on with a wry smile.

"Daddy!" Joseph cried out in his squeaky little voice. "M-make her stop!"

"No can do, son." Nate chuckled.

"But Daddy!" Joseph pouted.

"I'm not even doing anything!" Celia protested with an evil grin. She jabbed her fingers into Joseph's ribs when Nate had turned his back, his eyes locking on my approaching form. Behind him, Joseph's uncontrollable laughs echoed across the nearby trees.

"You alright, Lily?" His grey-blue eyes were warm yet concerned as they ran across my face.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" I replied with a smile as I looked over his shoulder and at Celia and Joseph, who'd calmed down a bit but were still poking at each other. They flashed those matching, adorable little toothy grins back at me — except Joseph's turned into a frown as a large droplet of rain fell from a hanging leaf and onto his nose. Celia burst out laughing.

It was a calm, beautiful Sunday, the skies thick and grey — overshadowing much of the park. Most people who were there were simply passing through — the grass was damp from yesterday's rain, and remnants of the bad storm were scattered all over in trip-inducing twigs and slippery leaves. Celia and Joseph were adamant that we go to the park today, the night they'd spent crying and cowering from the harsh lightning strikes in their rooms seemingly behind them. Children were incredible that way, easily putting things behind them as though they never existed in the first place.

Nate's gaze didn't leave mine, meanwhile he'd slyly taken hold of my hand. "I don't know; you seem kind of out of it, that's all."

"Well, I didn't have a great night's sleep." I admitted with a yawn, using my freehand to gesture to our two little trouble-makers. "They kept me up half the time. That could be it."

"Oh." He murmured, his eyes softening like a kicked puppy. "You could've woken me up. I would've helped out."

"I know." I replied honestly. "It's really not a big deal, Nate. Plus you seemed like you could use the sleep."

He flushed slightly, for reasons I didn't understand. What I'd seen wasn't embarrassing: I'd walked in on him at about nine o'clock and he was out cold, papers strewn across the floor. Yet an abashed look came across his face, and he scratched the back of his head. "Yeah... I actually didn't mean to do that, but seriously, grading papers is a real bitch — "

"Hey," I nudged him, gesturing with frantic eyes towards Celia and Joseph, who were regarding us with interest.

Nate squinted at them, kneeling until he was eye-level with Joseph, who was sucking on his thumb. Nate gently pulled his thumb away, and the five-year old's eyes went wide. Nate ruffled his hair and said softly, "You didn't hear anything that you weren't supposed to, right buddy?"

"No?" Joseph looked confused. "Oh, wait, yes?"

His eyebrows pulled together even further as Nate let out a chuckle and kissed his forehead. I bit back a laugh myself as I turned to Celia. "How about you, sweetheart?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Mommy." She said innocently, giggling as I made the universal I'm-watching-you sign.

"See? No harm done." Nate said triumphantly as he walked back over to me. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, this time."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," He dismissed my concern with a grin. "Anyways — I actually kind of wish you had woken me up because I'm starting to fall behind. Lawrence is gonna have my ass."

Lawrence, being the dean, was supposedly always "gonna have his ass". I'd heard mostly good things about him — but never met him in person.

Nate opened his mouth to say more, but was cut off by the shrill sound of his phone ringing. He stiffened, quickly digging it out of his pocket and looking at the caller. Whoever it was, it made him sigh.

"I've gotta take this." He mumbled before briskly stepping a few feet away. He said hello and frowned at whoever was talking, then moved even further away.

I frowned after his figure. He looked tense, the veins in his neck straining as he paced back and forth. He caught my eye, and his expression morphed into a reassuring smile. I shrugged off my worry, and instead took a seat on the bench beside Celia and Joseph.

"Mommy?" Joseph asked quietly.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Where's Daddy going?" He gestured his tiny finger over to Nate, who was standing a little bit further away than before.

"Daddy's not going anywhere, sweetheart." I murmured, giving him a smile. He looked confused for a moment, but then nodded and put his thumb back into his mouth. Celia, meanwhile, was engrossed in a pale blue butterfly that had begun to circle around her. Stars had formed in her eyes.

A few moments later, there was another shrill ringing — this time from my phone. I pulled it out and saw that it was Julia.

"Hey Julia." I greeted as I flicked it open. "What's up?"

"I should be asking you that." She sounded different from her usual chipper self — angrier, more aggressive. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

I frowned, standing up from the bench. "What are you talking about?"

"Nate called me."

I didn't know what to think. Subtly, I eyed Nate — he was still on the phone, so he clearly hadn't called just then. "When?"

"Three days ago. You didn't get my calls?"

"No, I didn't."

"Well, that explains it. Jesus, you scared the shit out of me."

"Seriously Julia, now you're scaring me. What do you mean Nate called you?"

"He called a couple of days ago, and Lily — he was freaking out. He told me to stop messing with your mind, but I have no clue what the fuck he's on about."

"What?"

Messing with my mind — it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I was absolutely flabbergasted. It must've showed, since Celia pouted in my direction.

"What's going on, Mommy?" She asked.

"Nothing sweetheart," I pulled the phone away from my ear. She shrugged, then went back to playing with Joseph.

"Oh — the kids are there? Listen, I can call back later — "

"No, no," I shook my head. "It's fine, Julia, really. Just tell me what else happened."

"I don't know, Lily, it was the strangest thing. He didn't even sound like himself. He just said that things were finally getting better and that he didn't want me to fuck it up for him. In nicer words than that, but still."

"That's...bizarre."

"Yeah, so I want to know what his fucking deal is. You guys still going to therapy?"

"I mean, we've been going," I mumbled, caressing the back of my neck. "And for the most part he seems fine with it so I can't imagine that that's the problem."

"Anything else weird happen lately?"

I thought back to the night I got drunk and kissed him. I cringed. "Uh, well, I may have thrown myself at him a few nights ago...I was drunk."

A pause. "Jesus Christ, Lily."

"I know. A lot worse would've happened if he didn't stop me."

She sighed. "I thought you were going to wait to move forward until you found out if that cunt — sorry, his mistress — was still in his class. Have you?"

I let out a heavy sigh myself, and my heart sank. "No, the school couldn't tell me over the phone. But they said that I could come to their Open House on the nineteenth."

"That's two days away."

"I know."

"You sure you're gonna go through with it?"

"Yeah... of course."

A moment of silence passed, and I could practically hear her nodding on the other end. "Good. And while you're at it, find out why that asshole called me."

"Julia." I reprimanded softly.

"What? He is. You may be blind to it but I sure the hell am not."

"I'm not blind to it, Julia. I'm just... I'm trying to make things better for us."

"And what if it does turn out that he hasn't kicked that bitch out of his class? Then what? All that work will be for nothing."

"You don't have to remind me of that." I closed my eyes.

"I do. You didn't hear that phone call, Lily. I'm worried about you."

"I swear I'm fine, Julia. Nate hasn't been weird with me at all. It doesn't make any sense." I shook my head, forgetting that she couldn't see me.

"Well," She sounded uneasy. "Just be careful around him, okay? Maybe he didn't think I would tell you — in which case he's a fucking idiot — but regardless, just stay on your toes, alright?"

"Okay," I murmured absentmindedly. "Take care, Julia."

"See you soon."

The call ended, and I was left feeling stunned, numb, and nervous as I stood there. Celia and Joseph were saying something — but I couldn't make out any discernible words. I felt sick.

Stop messing with my mind. It seemed opposite from his behavior lately, but at the same time — the feeling of disbelief was not as strong as it probably should've been.

This side of Nate — the deception, manipulation, the two-faced personality — it was the side I'd never seen, not before he'd cheated on me.

I shook my head. Three days ago...that was the day we'd gotten into a fight...I'd told him that Julia recommended therapy for us...

Messing with my mind.

And how could I not have gotten Julia's calls? She sounded frantic, unless — my eyes widened as I realized that Nate knew my phone password.

He wouldn't do that, would he?

That was the thing about being unfaithful. Once it happened — you could never definitively say that it was something they wouldn't do, no matter how hard you wanted to.

"Hey," Nate appeared out of nowhere, walking towards me with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face. His blue-grey eyes were bright and sincere, his every feature relaxed and happy — innocent. "Sorry I took so long — hey, everything alright?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I'm good." I managed. His smile faded and was replaced by a strange look.

"Daddy!" Before he could say a word, Celia leapt into his arms, forcing him to give her his full attention. I was grateful for the distraction, as it allowed me to shove my emotions deep down into a hole. I'd confront him later when Celia and Joseph weren't there to hear it.

Nate turned to me, Celia still in his arms, and he looked at me carefully — finding nothing. An unreadable expression flickered across his face, but it soon turned to the blissful happiness that I knew now wasn't real.

Joseph, following his sister's lead, jumped into my arms and buried his head into my neck. "I love you, Mommy." He murmured in his tiny little voice.

"I love you too, baby." I whispered, kissing his forehead. Nate gave me a sly look.

"Daddy loves Mommy too." He whispered before leaning forward and taking my lips with his.

I flinched against him. He didn't notice a thing, and pressed his lips against mine all the more firmly. He backed away, a satisfied look on his face.

Meanwhile, all I felt were the taste of lies on my lips, and a burning, anxious desire to end this once and for all.

* * *

Hey guys!

I'm so excited for the next chapter you don't even know lol. Nate is seeming even sketchier now... what doth thou readers think about the situation? What do you think he's hiding?

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed and love you all!

xoxo,
twyla