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Eight

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April wrung her hair with her hands, watching as the cold water drizzled out to the floor by her bare feet. She probably could've made a bigger effort to avoid getting in the water in the first place, but a little part of her was glad she did. A much larger part, though, wasn't so proud of it.

The only sound aside distant wind and the rustling of trees was that of her heart, pounding against her chest. It wouldn't have mattered if it was just her, but Javier was silent, too. She didn't know if that was a good or bad thing after what had just happened between them.

She was pretty sure she'd been possessed the entire time, but all she knew was that she'd kissed him, he'd kissed her back. She'd pulled him closer, he'd done same until she had been pressed up against him, feeling the bulging mass in his boxers against her stomach. She'd assisted in discarding the rest of his clothing as he'd done hers, and he'd spent most of the next twenty minutes making her feel things—both physical and emotional—that she never thought she'd feel again. And when it was all over, she couldn't help the wave of regret that washed over her as she pulled away, struggling to catch her breath.

She was drowned—not in the literal sense—and she knew it.

She wouldn't have felt half of what she did, had her head been screwed on right, which meant that emotionally keeping Javier at arms length was going to be a lot harder than she anticipated. It was hard to ignore someone when they made her feel as euphoric as he just did, and it would only get worse if it turned out that this new discovery only worked one way—which she was certain it did.

She snuck a glance at Javier over her shoulder, watching as he pulled his shirt over his head. He'd worked on his body since they last met, that was obvious. His formerly slender arms were now what could be termed 'muscular', and if she looked close enough, she could see drops of water running along a faint set of abs, into the waistline of his pants. The old Javier didn't care about appearances in the slightest. What had finally pushed him to work out? A girl?

It wasn't fair though. Why did she have to get questions swirling in her head and he didn't? How did her life become so clustered with unnecessary guilt and he got to have his untainted?

"Ready?" He asked, draping his jacket over her shoulder, since hers had suddenly decided to get missing.

She wordlessly nodded, following behind him as they left the lake.

•~❉᯽❉~•

"Should I be worried?" Was the first thing Amanda cried out when she caught sight of them from afar. "Why are you guys wet?"

April held her index finger to her lips to get her to be quiet. "Just show me our new tent, I need to change."

"Clearly," Paige winked, twirling a wooden mallet in her hand. "Come with me if you wanna live," she whispered dramatically, turning around to walk away.

April rolled her eyes and left Javier behind, following her sister towards the six tents that had been set up in a circle of alternating green and yellow. She wasn't sure whose idea it was, but they had talent.

Paige led her to the first green one, gingerly pushing the zipper all the way up. "In here," she called.

The inside was as expected, with a clear sign that Amanda had been there. Everything had been sorted and arranged, and the way the sun lit up the inside through the tent made it look like a room with a green lightbulb, or like those clubs at night.

The first thing April did was pull Javier's heavy jacket off her body, leaving her in soaked clothes. Next went the top, leaving her in the black polkadot bra she had worn as she crouched to find dry replacements for everything.

"So... How was it?" Paige asked, reminding her of her presence.

"Good." April shrugged, sweeping her memory through the T-shirts she'd packed. There was the grey, yellow, white and black... She pulled out the grey one to call it a day.

"Just good?" Paige asked.

"We found a lake," April clarified, when what she really wanted to do was to explain how big of a dunce she felt like after kissing her ex again. She tugged the shirt over her head, paying all her attention into taking her hands through the holes one after the other. She didn't want to think about anything.

The trip had been a bust, she thought, gesturing for Paige to turn around so she could change the shorts and panties. As the typical flighty one she was, she didn't.

Good thing April didn't mind either.

"How's Javier?"

"Fine." He was the exact definition of what not to talk or think about. She couldn't be sure of him, not now, not ever again. The last thing she wanted was to start up something with someone who would leave her without a second thought. It had already happened once before.

'You know I've always been on your team.' Why did he have to say things like that?

She had to avoid him if she knew what was good for her. Their little 'mistake' had happened, whether or not they chose to talk about it, and she didn't blame him for it. She could take the blame for this one, and the responsibility of making sure it didn't happen again.

"Did anything interesting happen while you two were alone in there?"

Sweeping through the chocolate brown locks of her hair, April thought of the best possible reply. She couldn't leave Paige hanging because then Paige would tell Amanda, whose mind would invent assumptions of her own. "Nothing, really. It was just kinda awkward but other than that, he's okay."

"You guys didn't do anything?" Paige cocked her head in a way that made April wonder if she'd been in the bushes the whole time she was bumping humps with her ex.

She dismissed the thought when she realised that the place had been quiet, and that she would've known if someone had followed them. Paige was only being a detective. "No, why would you think that?"

"I don't know, maybe because you still have feelings for each other?" Paige swiped Javier's jacket off the tent ground, holding it to her chest. "Will this look cute on me?"

She snatched the jacket back without thinking. "Give me that...and there are no feelings, I don't know what you're talking about."

Paige smirked. "If you say so."

•~❉᯽❉~•

"How'd you guys find this place?" Hannah asked with a wide smile, passing both April and Amanda little green plastic baskets for berry picking. "The Berry trees are so beautiful, it's perfect!"

An hour had passed since she'd sent Paige out of her tent. She was now back in the woods, along with every member of the vacation with the intention of either swimming or berry picking. She'd chosen to pick berries in order to avoid Javier at all costs.

"Thanks, Hannah," she smiled.

"Come on, let's hit that area," Amanda said, moving toward a part of the forest with blue berries growing under large leaves. "I've always wanted to do this."

April nodded and followed. Amanda seemed calm and happy, as one should be on vacation. Dressed in a short, white gown that was open at the back, she looked simply stunning. It had taken a while for even April to realise that she was her best friend, and that jealousy was not an option. Sometimes though, it still stung to see Amanda's curves in contrast to hers.

"So, Paige told me you're still in love with Javier," She started, raising one of the leaves up to reveal the bunch below it.

Dang Paige and her basketmouth!

April couldn't think of anything else to do, so she laughed. "I'm not."

"Well, according to her you've never accepted truth about anything until it blows up in your face, so-"

They both laughed a bit at that, and April pushed hair behind her ear. "Well according to me, Paige still wants to be an astronaut so let's not talk about accepting truth."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "I kinda believe her, though. I got a vibe from you two when you returned."

Why did everyone keep saying that? "I don't know what vibe you're talking about. I'm just tying to have a good time here before it's all over. Is that so bad?"

"Guess not," Amanda answered and dropped a handful of the fruit into her basket. "Should we go find another tree or should we empty this one?"

Glad she'd dropped the topic, April shrugged. "You go ahead. I'll get a few more from here and catch up with you."

"Okay. Hey, Jav." She waved at him over April's shoulder.

"Actually, I'll just come with you," April changed her mind, taking a few steps in Amanda's direction. Her best friend gave her a look that said 'are you sure?' In the most suggestive way. The last thing April needed was to confirm her suspicions of something happening between her and Javier, so she stepped back and gave a small smile. "Or I'll just stay here."

"Better," Amanda mumbled with a smile. She gave a nod to the newcomer, then turned around to walk away. April watched her retreating figure, glaring imaginary daggers at her.

"Hey."

She turned. "Hey."

"I feel like you're avoiding me," Javier said, leaning on the tree beside him. His hair was now dry, and he'd changed into a white T-shirt and jeans.

"I'm not."

"Then why haven't I seen you since we got back?" His eyes travelled slowly down her body, a smirk in place as he ogled her new outfit. The look on his face would've had her voluntarily wobbling on their knees a year ago but she had to stay strong now. She couldn't give a reaction, despite how bad her body threatened to betrayed her.

She dropped the basket and turned to him. "I don't know. Did you bother to look for me?"

He smiled and closed the gap between them. "I'm always looking for you."

There it was again, him saying things like that, despite knowing how they affected her.

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

She gestured between them. "This...thing you're doing. I don't want it."

"What's wrong?" He asked, standing tall over her, his grey eyes searching her face. It seemed innocent, but it was hard to believe he was actually interested in her. There was no doubt about it two years ago, but now, it all seemed too sudden, too soon, too good to be true.

What if she was wrong and he was genuine, though? Did she really have to put up barriers between them? What if she succumbed, just for this moment with no one watching them?

She lifted her hand to push him away and he caught it, wrapping her fingers gently in his bigger ones. Her breaths went shaky and her knees lost all balance when he stepped even closer. "Javier," she croaked. "Javier, stop."

"Why?"

She swallowed hard, trying to keep a straight face as she replied. "Nothing, I just don't like you holding me like that."

"Don't you now?" He chuckled, reaching for her other hand.

It took another nerve, but she managed to disconnect their hands. "Control yourself."

He chuckled. "Control?" He folded his arms, flexing his muscles in the process. "You didn't seem to care about that when we did all that an hour ago."

She nodded. He didn't have to remind her of that momentary lapse in judgement. "We didn't —"

"So what was that in the water?"

"I kissed you, it was all me."

"Okay, so do it again." He stepped closer.

Her breath hitched and it took all her willpower to step back. "You're not listening! I don't want this anymore." The voices in her head were screeching at her. Some were telling her to drop the act and obey emotion, the others were warning her that this could be a trap. She held her fists tight at her side, feeling her nails digging into her palm as she stood her ground. She wouldn't give in so easily. "No."

"So we're just gonna pretend like nothing's happening?"

"Nothing is happening."

She caught a slight pucker of his brows, followed by his purse of his lips. He wasn't smiling anymore, he was frowning. She hated his frown because it made her sad in turn.

"Why not?" He asked. "We're adults."

Why couldn't they? She asked herself. Because she didn't trust him.

"It's not right," she replied, searching her head for more reasons to present.

"Since when did that matter?"

"And it wouldn't be fair to Shawn."

He barked a chuckle out of nowhere. "Who?!"

She didn't blame him for his reaction, her excuse was pretty laughable after all. She'd used Shawn of all people. "We have a thing," she lied, deciding to capitalise on it, instead of admitting her lie.

"You don't even know the guy!"

"Does it really matter?"

He plucked a splinter off the bark of the tree behind him and took his time in snapping it. "He doesn't know you. Not like I do."

She shrugged. "Last I remembered, you were the one who set me up with him."

"That doesn't mean you can't ditch him."

She almost scoffed. He was the same person who had dragged her through mud for ditching people and now he was encouraging her to do exactly that. "Actually, it does. I wouldn't want to lead him on, only to ditch him last second, now would I?"

The muscles of his jaw clenched and she saw him let go of the tree completely. "Okay, then. Do whatever you want."

She watched him walk away, taking the tightness in her chest away with him. It was better this way, and no matter how hurt she felt, she couldn't afford to fall for him again. She grabbed the basket and looked round for any sign of masking tape. Her heart thumped with joy when she finally caught one, and she hurried in that direction.