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Twenty Seven

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You were always my sunshine, babe
On my damn mind, all the damn time
And I know your heart's not a game
It should be fine, should be mine

Javier slouched in his seat and stared at the ceiling. He had gotten the first lines in for the fourth time.

Okay, get her attention by calling her 'babe' check.

He tapped the end of the pen against the table to the recurring tune in which he wanted the song to go in. He racked his brain for the next line. He didn't want to jump right into it yet, maybe later in the verse or maybe it could even be the first line of the chorus. His phone beeped with a text. It was a simple vibration but it sounded like the loudest gong on earth, shattering his concentration like a bullet would a mirror.

He got off the chair and paced the room in search of words. His brain couldn't fail him, not now.

I just want to say...no, not that...it sounded like he'd given up.

He took the seat again and wrote the first words that came to his head.

I can't quite place the words, never could, not with you.

He shook his head at his own 'genius'. What a great achievement to write exactly that.

Would it sound offensive though? He didn't want to come off as insulting. Perhaps, he could make it softer, more pleading. He needed to show that this was hard to do or maybe he just needed words to delay the chorus, but either way, he needed to find something.

He flipped a few pages in his notebook, wrinkling his brows at something he had written sometime before.

I fell by the sidelines like everyone else,
Tried to convince myself it wasn't real but I was just kidding myself,
The wristbands and tattoos, well they meant it all,
And baby I'm not perfect but then again, you never liked perfect.

Did that even make sense?

He tore the sheet out of the journal, bundled it and tossed it over his shoulder.

"Really?" Nathan's voice sent his eyes wide as he spun around in the seat. His friend was standing at his door, arms crossed in front of his chest.

How long had he been standing there?

"What are you doing here?" Javier asked.

Nathan shrugged. "Making sure you don't go through with your intentions. It's not worth it, man...I'm sure everyone will agree."

He shrugged. What did Nathan know, anyway? "I don't really care this time. It's worth it."

"Really? You think anyone would appreciate the result of this decision you're making?"

Javier's brows creased. What?

"And of all the ways, I bet you're planning to jump off the balcony. That's not only stupid, it'll never work."

Javier's eyes widened. "The balcony!"
The stars were visible from there. He could bet he'd do better if he were under the stars.

"Yes, the balcony. Surprised I figured?"

Ignoring Nathan, Javier picked his notepad, pen and grabbed the arm of his chair.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Nathan shouted, stepping forward to grab the chair out of Javier's hands. "I was just saying it's a bad idea and you're going for it early?"

He squinted in confusion. "Going for what?!"

"You know what I'm talking about. There's too much pressure on you, I get it. This isn't the answer!"

"Yes, it is. It's not the solution to everything but at least it'll help with April."

"Don't you dare use my sister as an excuse for killing yourself!"

Javier blinked once, then twice, releasing the chair to his friend. What?

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Isn't that what you're planning?"

Was he planning to commit suicide? "Hell no! Why would you think that?!"

It was Nathan's turn to frown in confusion. He pointed to the crumpled sheets of paper on the floor. "So...you aren't drafting a suicide note?"

Javier laughed. He couldn't help it anymore than he could stop his eyes in the middle of a blink. "I'm desperate, not crazy."

"I told you, didn't I?" A third, feminine voice came from behind them both. "You owe me fifty dollars, Nate."

Javier stepped back at the sight of Amanda, sitting on the edge of his bed. When had she gotten in and when had they made a wager?

"You thought I was writing a suicide note, man?" He could prevent asking other questions, but this one could not wait.

Nathan opened his mouth to say something, then clamped it shut, having thought better than to embarrass himself further. Amanda got up and was quickly at his side in time to explain.

"He saw you writing and groaning and crumpling sheets and just assumed the worst. You know how he gets," she smiled at him. He smiled back, knowing exactly what Amanda was talking about. The person who had suffered that side of Nathan the most though, was April.

"You flung your earbuds pretty far." She handed the white pair back to Javier. "They missed my head by a hairline."

"I'm sorry."

She chuckled. "All good."

Nathan was still silent, apparently still shocked at his own grave misunderstanding.

"So what are you writing, anyway?" Amanda asked, assisting him with the—now blank— notepad while he carried the chair out to the balcony. "Goodbye letter?"

"Nope."

"Am I close?"

He set the chair down and reached to get his items back from her. "Not at all."

She went back into the room with a 'humph', leaving him seated under the stars in the chilly air. He took a deep breath in, imagining words coming into place.

You were always my sunshine, babe
On my damn mind, all the damn time
And I know your heart's not a game
It should be fine, should be mine

"OH MY GOSH, you're writing a song for April! That's so freakin' romantic!"

Javier groaned at the distraction and looked up to face Amanda, who was holding up pieces of the papers he had discarded with the biggest grin on her face. She was smiling so wide, one would think she'd been gifted a Ferrari.

"I didn't know you could write your own songs, I thought you just did covers but these are amazing!"

He narrowed his eyes. Amanda sounded an awful lot like Paige.

"I'm still mad at you, don't forget that." He sighed in relief. Back to Amanda. "What are you calling it?"

"It's for an album. Two of the tracks were really bad so I plan to replace the lyrics of one of them with something new I'm trying to write."

She nodded with her whole body. "When will you finish it?"

"As soon as you get out of here," he answered smoothly. When Amanda placed her arms akimbo and cleared her throat, he sighed. "I just need to concentrate. There's alot on ground, but I'll finish it. As big a loser as I am, I can't lose her."

Amanda smiled. "You're not a loser, you're an idiot."

He squeezed his hair and sighed. "Thanks."

"But hey, idiots can be productive...April's an idiot sometimes too, if it helps."

He smiled, dropping his hand. "Certainly doesn't!"

She chuckled and dropped the stack of roughened papers on his lap. "You'll need some of the stuff you scribbled on these." She patted his shoulder, then turned to leave.

"And that part about the ring toss, I know it rhymes with the line that precedes it but April didn't toss the ring you gave her. She wears it on a chain round her neck."

His heart skipped. "Everyday?"

Amanda smiled. "On days she doesn't forget to. She's not exactly a memory retainer."

He chuckled along with her. "Thank you."

She smiled, nodded and turned around to leave. "I'll shut the door so no one else disturbs you."

"I appreciate that," he murmured, sorting the papers she had dumped for him. He heard the door when it clicked shut, smiled in gratitude for the friends he had, then closed his eyes to get in the zone again.

A few minutes later, a knock on his door sounded, snapping him out of concentration but it wasn't as frustrating as it had been before he went outside.

"I'm not done yet!" He shouted to the person he thought was Amanda or Nathan.

"Javier?" The unmistakable sound of James Klein's voice came through the door. "Open this door."

He aggressively punched the air in front of him as if it would blow his father away. When the door was knocked again, he walked to it, turned the handle and pulled it open. "Yes, Sir?"

"What are you doing and why did Nathan tell me you weren't in here?"

He shrugged. "He was looking out for me. I told them not to let anyone in."

"And why is that?" He asked, coming into the room. Even though this made Javier's heart beat faster, he tried as much as possible not to show it. "Your mother asks me to speak to you and I get blocked out and lied to. What are you doing alone, anyway?"

"Nobody's business but mine."

"Excuse me?" James interjected, as if Javier's words had visibly smacked him. "I only asked to know what you were doing. Does it have to do with school?"

He bent his lips in sort of an 'n' shape as he shook his head. "No."

James sighed. "For a second, I had half mind that I would meet you here with Patrick's daughter again." Javier's tense shoulders almost fell at the thought of that happy memory. "You do understand why I'm trying to help you, don't you?"

That was the thing, he didn't.

"Javier, I was a boy once, just like you. I was eighteen, just like—"

"I'm almost twenty one," he reminded, scoffing as he saw color drain out of James' stoic face. "You don't even know my age yet you insist on planning every waking hour of my life."

He moved back to the balcony to compile the parts he was able to write. Time was ticking and he was only lucky to have found a bunch of guys with enough materials to record the song. If James wanted to talk to him, he could, but he wouldn't let it delay him. He had a song to finish and for a good cause. This was his own way of securing one aspect of his future.

James silently looked from the pieces of paper on the table to Javier as he resumed his seat, leaning on its back legs—something he knew very well would tick his father off. He watched as James looked into the papers, waiting for his reaction to seeing the lyrics he was crafting.

"Do you still want to get a business degree?" James found his tongue.

Javier paused, landing the chair on all four legs equally. He looked up and at the expression on his father's face, halfway between a frown and his usual stoicism. Did he want to continue and get the degree?

He sighed. "Yes."

Another sigh, this time, from James. "So what, you plan to do both?"

"I thought you didn't want me writing music."

James head bobbed in some kind of movement, a cross between a nod and a shake of his head. "W- well, I don't. But from this right here and what your mother told me earlier, you've got your mind made up. I'm only trying to do the least I can now, which is protect you from doing something dangerous and stupid in the name of rebellion."

Javier shrugged. "I wasn't about to, thank you and mom for the concern."

The 'concern', for some reason, left his temples pulsing with building anger. Or maybe it wasn't their concern, maybe it was the fact that James had Mariana. He had someone to ground him at all times, someone who understood him. Instead of that to make him encourage love, it hadn't. Javier thought it was pathetic.

"What's it like? Being with mom?"

"Excuse me?" James furrowed his brows. When Javier's expression didn't change, he sighed. "Don't tell me you're comparing my marriage to your relationship. Children do stupid things all the time, April will grow up one day. Already has quite the reputation for indecision, doesn't she?"

He didn't answer. He couldn't without swearing. "You already cut me off your flight. I'm pretty sure if you miss this one, you'll blame it on me as well. Go. Home."

He clenched his teeth as he retook his seat, waiting for his father to leave.

For a moment, James said absolutely nothing. Javier thought he looked like he was fighting a fart, but in all honesty, he was fighting emotion, which, for James, was quite like holding in a fart. "Your mother's waiting. I'll see you when you fly back to the states. There's a lot we have to talk about."

Javier nodded and resumed crosschecking the lyrics he had written. They were unfinished, and there were many holes left in between the sentences for longer words to fill in. If he were to sing it, there were times he'd have to hum.

It was anything but perfect, but he picked up his laptop and headed out.

[April]

"Please!" Shawn begged, placing both hands on the bar in front of April. "Pretty please!"

She shrugged indifferently. "I said no."

"You told me you loved dancing."

She frowned. "I do but I can't. Two different things."

He sighed. "What happened?"

Was retelling the story worth it? No. She also had a feeling that he wouldn't leave her alone unless she agreed to performing for the crowd. "Don't worry about it, I'll dance...just let me know when."

"Seriously?"

"You want me to change my mind?"

He shook his head quickly. "No, never...thanks!"

She forced a smile as he left, but it quickly faded. She rarely ever had the thought, but April wanted to leave the party. It didn't feel right, not since she'd gotten the text from the crew.

EA <3: A, we've got an issue! Text me back ASAP. Spoiler Alert: We're screwed!

She had called immediately and gotten terrible good news. Their DJ was getting married and would soon move to another country with her new husband.

"Couldn't Jackie wait till after streets over?!"

April couldn't blame the girl for wanting happiness.

"It's not like she ditched us for another team or anything, I mean she's getting married after everything she's been through. We gotta support her. Maybe she'll even let us dance at her wedding, is it soon?"

"Of course we're dancing at the reception, I had it all worked out. She's having it at this cool rink. What I'm worried about is streetsover, which is what might be the most important highlight of my entire life—and yours, don't think anything tops it!"

"It's next summer! We'll find someone else before it gets dire."

"Not everyone can keep up with us, A, especially you, since you never dance by the rules. You used to be so in tune with Jackie."

"EA, we'll find someone else. I promise you that."

"I will hold you to that promise. I promise you that."

"Fine. Get outta my phone."

How she was going to find a new DJ, April had no idea. And she was even more lost on how her body would respond to being commanded to dance in front of attendees of a beach bar party.

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