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Nineteen

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April ran a hand under her nose, stifling a sob as the lyrics travelled from the airpods to her brain. Songs about heartbreak hit different when they're about you.

She sat at his desk with one hand propped under her chin, holding back all the reactions threatening to burst out of her. Some of the lines weren't even true, but it didn't stop them from hurting. She didn't blame him, it wasn't his fault he'd felt all these things. Besides, she was the one who had asked to listen.

Javier's hands were on the back of his neck. He'd been pacing back and forth since the first song started and only stopped when she turned her head and popped one of the AirPods out.

Their eyes met. He raised his brows, she shrugged and took a deep breath before speaking, struggling to keep her throat open. "They're um...they're..."

"They're not all about you," he said, almost defensively. "I swear."

There was no way she could believe that. "I had no idea I was a broken mirror," she said as the last song ended with what called her a broken mirror with pieces of her still pierced in his heart.

"April—"

"Do want an official review?"

"April—"

"How'd you even get the time to write all of this?"

He spun her chair around as if it had wheels, unintentionally showing off his strength. He held both armrests and looked her right in the eyes. "You're not listening."

She struggled to breathe. "I am, and it's okay."

He cupped her face. "It's not okay if you're crying."

"I'm not fucking crying." She spent the next few seconds gathering as much energy as she could to push his hands off her. "I'm not crying over your stupid song."

He didn't budge when she tried to push him away. "I get that you're mad. Just calm down and I'll explain."

"I'm not even mad," she cried, letting her hands fall limp beside her. She wasn't mad, she just found it frustrating to be the reason for those lyrics. She didn't want to be the reason anyone ever shed tears in public or felt like the world had closed in on them. "There's no way all that is true."

"It isn't," he assured her, running his thumbs under her eyes. She sniffled, hating herself for crying something as small as a song. She could relate to some of it. She'd also stayed up late, she'd cried, she'd gone dark for a while, but all that seemed like child's play compared to his. "April, I promise you, it's not as bad as it sounds."

"You meant it when you wrote them," She said, unable to get the words out of her head. "You said I was nothing but a lesson. Our entire relationship was just me taking advantage of you."

"I didn't mean that."

"Then why did you write it?" She raised her voice, standing up and forcing him away from her. He had no right to make it look like it'd been all her fault. What about him? He'd broken her too. "You've made it look like I played you."

"You didn't."

"Okay, so what does 'find another perfect pawn' mean?" Tears began to fall freely. He said he had 'tweaked' the songs. This wasn't a tweak, he'd done a complete restructuring.

"That may have been out of line."

"Out of line?" She took a step toward him, not believing his mouth. "And I never made you doubt yourself," she said through her teeth. "That was also a lie, Javier, I supported you more than anyone."

He nodded. "You did."

She cut him off. "And that fucking line in track five!" She walked to the table and picked his phone up. "I never looked at any 'him' the way I did you!"

"You went out a lot," he explained. "So many guys and—"

"I never looked at them the way I did you. I may have laughed at a few jokes or stupid pick up lines, but you know," she raised her voice. "That I never did so much as flirt back, and you want to know why?"

"Because you were with me."

She shook her head and pressed her index finger to his chest. "Because I fucking loved you. And the whole time, all that was in my head was how lucky I was that I'd met you before those losers."

"April—"

"And track one, right before the chorus, you said you had nothing to say but a thank you to the girl who spoiled you for the next one."

He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped halfway. Her heart broke when she looked up and caught him smiling. "I was actually waiting for you to mention that part," he told her, taking a step closer. "And I'm so glad you did."

"You met another girl, that's what it means," April called him out, attempting to push off him but he held her in place and whispered 'wait'.

"I did meet someone, but she's nothing like you."

He began listing her qualities—mostly educational prowess— and it did nothing but make April's blood boil. Maybe she should go to college after all and get an 'honors roll' if that was the kind of thing guys wanted.

Who was she kidding? "I don't care if she is!" April forced out, cutting Javier's stammer off. "I don't care how smart she is. It's good for her and for you too. I've moved on."

"No, you haven't."

She cocked her head, awaiting an explanation.

"You may have dated after me, but you haven't moved on, face it. I could say I moved on too, but we both know that's a lie because you're right here in my face, right now."

"Because you're holding me here."

He raised both arms up. "You were saying?"

"So you want me to leave then?"

"I dare you to leave," he answered, his breath so close to her face, she could almost taste it. "Leave after I tell you that everything I said in those songs was out of anger, and that I didn't mean them. Leave after I tell you that most of those things weren't even you, I just blamed you for other stupid things in my own life. Leave after I say I'm sorry."

She sniffled, though the tears had stopped. "You said I made you a prodigal son."

"Because you did. And I'm a prodigal son to a controlling asshole of a father and I'm proud of it. I'm a musician, not forever an assistant CEO."

As much as she didn't want to, her lips curved into a half smile. "You figured out he was never really going to step down for you?"

"Not till he's dead. From his lifestyle though, that's not till I'm old myself and still answering the title of 'next in line'."

She sighed, calming her head down. "True."

"I promise, though, A, I didn't mean those things. I was just angry at you...and at myself."

She thought it over for a moment. "I was angry at you, too."

"Then you understand that all this is just me using creative liberty."

"You didn't write those lyrics to shame me?"

His eyes grew sincere as he shook his head. "I doubt any guy in his right mind would."

"Do you regret writing them?"

He shook his head. "I don't regret writing them because they're just songs. And if I can get you to understand that they'll never explain how I feel about you, then they're okay."

She sniffed again as he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her head to rest on his chest. It wasn't until he placed a kiss to her head that she finally relaxed and allowed herself to calm and wrap her arms around him, too.

"How do you feel about me?" She found herself asking, as she replayed his latest words in her head.

He stayed silent for a while, then adjusted his hold on her. "Like you're the only one that really knows me."

The first instinct was to pull away when he slowly tilted her head, but she hadn't fully set that into motion when she felt the light, feathery softness of his lips against hers. Unlike how it had been during their scene at the lake, this one was more like how it used to be.

It wasn't a 'pride battle' kiss. While that one had been timed and left her feeling smug, this one sent her heart bursting out of her chest like an eagle on wings. Javier held on to her, one hand weaved through her hair, and the other tight around her waist.

She found herself tiptoeing due to height differences that hadn't been so obvious two years ago. His shoulders and chest also felt broader as she ran her hands over them, burying her fingers into the hair above his nape. He trailed from her lips, placing kisses along the line of her neck, down to her collarbone.

April wasn't sure afterward, who dragged whom to bed, but soon he was hovering over her, his hands buried beneath her shirt, sending tingles all through out her body.

"Javier!" Three raps of knuckles to the door sent him flying off of her in seconds. He looked to the door, then back to her with wide eyes and his lips rolled in to stifle laughter. She held her breath to stifle her own as whoever was on the other side called a second time, then a third before they heard footsteps retreating.

April was the first to let her laugh out, though Javier was quick to place a palm over her mouth. "They might come back."

She giggled. "Scaredy cat."

He climbed back into bed beside her as she picked his phone again. He protested, but she raised a hand to shut him up. She wasn't going to listen to the songs again.

"Where are the titles?" She asked him, noting that none of the songs were named. They just went by 'Track one', 'track two' till twenty seven.

He shrugged. "I didn't bother with titles. I didn't think anyone else would hear them."

She chuckled and let herself fall backward, rolling onto her side so she was facing him with her elbow propped under her head. "What's the album called? At least you named the album, right?"

He nodded. "But it's...a date."

Her brows drew together. "A date?"

He threw his head back for a while, then sighed and faced her again. "Yeah, April 27th."

Her eyes remained on him, but her mind raced through eighteen plus years of her life, trying to find any point where April 27th meant something. Her face fell as she drew a blank. Noticing this, Javier heaved a sigh. 

"You don't know, do you?"

She cleared her throat, pinching her hands together as she slowly shook her head.

"The day we met, April."

She perked up instantly. "No, that's wrong, we met in June. On your birthday." She smiled, proud of herself for remembering when he didn't.

"Yes, officially. But you caught my attention about a month before that during a meeting we had in Mr Clayton's class. Remember?"

She frowned. "Mr Clayton?"

He laughed. "April! It hasn't been a year since you graduated."

"Yeah, yeah. Just tell me what the date means."

"On April 27th, you got off your seat and called Clayton out on his lack of sympathy. You said he was a bad teacher because he never cared to know why people couldn't meet his outrageous demands before transferring them out of his classes."

"Oh yeah, Mr hedgehog." She chuckled.

Javier laughed at the nickname. "If I'm not mistaken, you also offered to teach him to brush his hair."

She let herself fall face down onto the mattress. "That wasn't me!" She muffled out.

He chuckled and pulled her back up. "Well I thought it was genius...except that last bit."

Her cheeks flew up. "I got detention for 'defamation of character'."

"And I got myself detention that same day because I wanted to spend more time around you."

Her heart both frowned and smiled at the same time. She didn't know whether to kiss or smack him for not talking to her right away. She went with her first option.

"I would've said something but you were with Paige and Amanda."

April laughed, but sobered quickly as he mentioned Amanda. "You just reminded me that Manda's not talking to me. I have a feeling she blames me for something and I don't even know what I did to her."

"Do you ever know what you do to people though?" He asked, allowing her to smack him in the chest.

"I think I know why she's upset though," he started. "I may be wrong, but I think it has something to do with Nathan."

April rolled her eyes. "Nathan has nothing to do with this. Amanda doesn't even talk to Nathan that much. He's too stuck up for her."

"You think so?" He asked, sitting up. "You don't think she has feelings for him?"

She looked behind her as if trying to find the ghost behind his mind works, but caught the clock instead. Midnight. "You know what? I'm leaving. Call me when your head comes on right."

He chuckled and grabbed her hands as she made to get up, bringing her back to him.

"What?"

"Don't leave."

"You dared me, remember?"

He sighed. "I didn't —"

"I know," she caught him mid sentence, bringing her lips to his.

•~❉᯽❉~•

Morning brought a crusty eyed April down for the general breakfast she didn't know they were having until Paige had announced it.

One, the parents would be leaving earlier than expected. They gave reasons, mentioning something along the lines of 'business targets' or whatever else he said and April didn't have enough ear space to listen to. Her eyes searched the lounge room until they found Javier at the other end, next to the kitchen door.

He smiled, she smiled right back.

Hannah kept talking as the sweet smell of pancakes filled the room from the kitchen, where she was sure he'd been working magic with Amanda as his assistant.

Paige giggled beside her as they sat on one of the plush leather seats in the room.

"What?"

"She's just so happy," Paige answered. "She's always happy, but she's glowing right now," she added. "It's amazing."

"We'll both find it too, Paige," she replied, smiling along with her sister. "Mom's just an example to show it's never really too late."

"Yep, almost like she's going through all the stages again. Marriage, has a baby... only better this time."

"She deserves it, don't you think?"

She smiled and nodded. "Definitely. Though she could've used a better name for the kid, I mean she downgraded in her naming skills."

April's brows crinkled. "How?!"

"She insisted it was by majority rule, but the kid's name is Autumn O'Brien. And she was telling Nathan this morning that she's added Leah as well."

April's heartstring felt tugged. Not only had Hannah chosen Autumn, she'd given the new baby her mother's name, Leah.

The air gave way to numerous hands joining in applause as they all dispersed to go sit for breakfast. April left Paige in search of Hannah, and when she found the woman near the kitchen door, she didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around her.

"It was so cute!" She said after they pulled away.

"What was?"

"Autumn and Leah?"

"Well, your dad seemed pretty happy last night, and we decided to honor your mother's memory by doing this, so I scribbled an extra name on the card."

"It's perfect. I'm calling her Autumn though," April laughed.

Hannah chuckled. "Definitely."

Something popped in April's head, and she turned back to Hannah. "What did you mean by majority rule?"

She beamed. "Oh, someone else suggested the name Autumn... I think you know who that is."

She beamed even wider. Of course she did, and he had brown-blonde hair.
Obeying the nagging urge to get close to that someone, she turned to head for the kitchen.

'Not so fast,' said the universe, as April's father appeared right in front of her, of course in company of Misters Klein and Kingston.

"April, a word?" He asked calmly, both his hands finding refuge in the pockets of his khakis. She sighed and shook her head, indicating her desire to go first.

He nodded, giving permission.

She inhaled, then exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry about yesterday, for calling my mom like that, and I know you're probably gonna scold me right now, but I'm just letting it out that I'm sorry."

He kept his stoic look for a few more seconds, then sighed. "I'm not scolding you."

"Wait-"

"No, I've done enough waiting, you listen to me, princess-" he smiled again, mirroring hers. "You're giving up on higher education. You're letting go of what might be the greatest time of your life, where you discover yourself...you know that?"

"Dad, I-"

"Yes or no answers," he cut her off.

She shrugged. "Yes."

"And you're sure this is what you want," he added.

She nodded. "Yes."

They held eye contact for a little while longer, during the time April's mind soared through possible outcomes.

"I'll think it over during my flight back to Washington tonight, and I'll let you know my decision."

She chuckled. "You do know I'll keep fighting you till I get it, right? College is-"

"Let me sound like a father here, please!"

They both laughed, and she stepped forward to wrap her arms round his torso. "Thanks, Dad... I promise it's what I want."

He sighed as she let go, then walked in the direction of Hannah, who'd just yelled "ooh! Pat!" While waving her hands frantically.

She locked eyes with Javier's father, who simply pursed his lips as if to say 'it's your life'. She smiled and shrugged, as if to tell him 'I'm aware', then walked away before she could be tagged disrespectful.

Amanda and Javier were in the kitchen together when she pushed the two way door open. "Hey guys," she greeted.

Amanda picked up the tray of pancakes in front of her and made her way into the main area with a mumbled 'hey'.

She ignored her and strode over to the chef by the sink, wrapping her arms around his torso from behind. "Good morning, Adler."