As if life wasn't messed up, the designers decided to mess it up more. A plethora of e-mails zapped my inbox daily, the ones that bore apologies while proving their point, begging for pardon and demanding the impeachment of certain designers ( Harsh being the centre of attention) and a couple of models too. I think back to the day when Laadli was the last one to leave after signing her contract and I called them in. Thinking about it, it might have been one of the best and damnedest days of my life. Damn my life for keeping such incompetent fellows, maybe not incompetent but a high-sized question mark on humanity itself, unable to digest that change is inevitable, given that the company is mine and it's my right to burn it to the ground after firing the whole work-force if I see fit. But what I barely am doing is something that makes the environment of my own company scream safe, seeing how most of my employees are women. Their words from the day still linger in my mind as their emails come into view, making me see blood and almost contemplating their expulsion at the moment. 

"But sir, it's against the company ethics, the industry demands including!", Manas stood there, trying to justify his points to my views. I may be quite a fledgling in this industry but one thing that my brain knew is that my company is going to be led by my rules, totally by my pride and god forbid I take someone else's advice leading it to not being mine anymore. A horror if anyone asked me. The only advice I am ready to take without questioning other's rights is when I might know I am in the wrong, not that I will ever accept that I am. But I knew I wasn't wrong this time at least. "What's against the rules again Manas?" "Quiet a lot if you want me to point out." The tone of voice changed from Manas to the 27-year-old Maleya, a nod followed by Gambhir. My stare lingered on, trying to decipher the answer to their accusations that my rational mind found quite baseless, and to another extent, Amelie did too, which led to this abashed meeting. My mind wandered to the work piled up in excess which needed to be done by the end of the week if I was to have certain peace of mind to prepare for the next, much of it needing immediate attention of today of all days. My hostility might have been projected through the glares of my eyes as I see Maleya shudder and walk a couple of steps back, putting herself beyond my view, hiding behind Gambhir, earning a snicker from Manas himself. Prejudice at peak, the thought crossed my brain. So did the thought of my bloody fist and an even more bloody face of this one man. "I'm still waiting Manas and speak fast." "Well to put it fairly, the models are haughty except a few of them and it has come to my notice not a single model I nominated for a permanent post was on the list which might have been Amelie's fault, the very reason you can't trust women with such work- " "It was me", my annoyance cuts him midway," Don't talk without the correct knowledge. Every model that stands here today and left the office after signing their contract is handpicked and sorted by me. Ended up missing that point Manas?". A really visible emotion darkened his face, shame or embarrassment, I couldn't pinpoint. His eyes delivered a quick glare to the other two before turning back to me in the hopes of making me drop this certain topic, all of his behaviour made me lean back in my chair with exhaustion and weary energy, scanning the room before my eyes land on Amelie who is rightfully pissed, as one should be while dealing with pieces of nuances like these and she has had to manage everything since morning including their nonsense. their voices keep pouring in as I close my eyes, Manas going on and on about how one should dress, behave and ultimately look, with the tidbit and knowledge from Gambhir. Like uncle like nephew. All kept going well as my mind ignored them, ready to answer them off with the most polite way of saying how to mind one's own business but what I heard next made me stop leaning but listen quite intently. "Out of everyone, I think Laadli Chibber needs to get a grip on herself. She bought food! And oh her cheerfulness. She's a model, not a kindergartener. Like yes models need every character but she went on the first portfolio with a smile? It's unethical!" I straightened myself and did no longer bother hiding my hostility and rudeness. "Remind me the theme they were asked to go with?" "As they and the designers wanted, why-" "Then why are you complaining when you were neither?" The words put an eerie stop to everything, my mind trickery into thinking I could hear their loud thumping of the heart. "Not a single one of you three is a part of any of the projects neither are the models under you, so remind me why am I listening to you three complain especially when it bothers none of you?" manas opened his mouth, to complain on something but I have enough of this man and his two followers. "I will make it clear one last time. Don't bother with what's not yours, especially if it is my company project. I have been doing you and my father a favour big enough, those two an extra to whatever I agreed, but that's the extent of it. This is my company, my project and my designers. One word against them and I wouldn't think twice before making sure those tongues are useless in this society, industry and daily life. One look against them and neither of you will see the industry anymore, and the name you're so proud of? Gone from the history, present and future. Am I clear?" What followed next was a silence of ten seconds with an agreement, the three of them having enough intelligence to understand the position they stood in, though the hostility Manas breathed towards me didn't miss my sight. "Expect a mail by tonight. Work according to it."

Those were my last words to them that day, as they walked out of my office. Somewhere it feels worrisome, hurting the pride of Manas but I think I might have been kind beyond repair to that old man. I remember talking it out with Amelie who has been livid for the past thirty hours, calming her to the extent I could but it melted once she blurted out her hate to her husband. The man I have seen in Kairav is rarely found, the 'quiet-you-speak-I-listen' man, listening to my otherwise professional assistant with the world's utmost patience. The man looks absolutely happy whenever she chooses to speak to him, today being one of those days where she rants about how hard it is and what's interesting going on in the company, some rare days he visits. And being my assistant she has made my office hers, killed my sanity and personal space, complaining she deserves it after being overworked to the extent of losing her mind, such rare days he looks at me sorry. The man feels mysterious to me of all things, like some sort of psychic and today being those rare days, he sat in the office looking at her as if that's one of the prettiest art he had ever seen. I kept working on my laptop writing out emails and working through a myriad of stuff as the lunch hour kept passing by along with Amelie voicing her frustration over the paperwork that was due to her, saying to my face how bad of a boss I am to her existence, the bane of her existence, her words not mine as Kairav kept feeding her. She made an abrupt exit on getting a call from what I'm guessing is a client seeing how her professional mask slipped on and she walked out of my office, Kairav laughed at her antics. I sipped on my coffee, his voice disrupted the flow with one of the most unexpected questions ever, making me look up at him. "Repeat the question", my word reverbed through the whole of the room, to which I received a smile when he got up and rubbed the crumbs off his hands before looking at me, "Who is it? Found yourself a woman Abhay?", his words slipping through his mouth as smooth as it could be showing me that there was a reason he was my senior. "Who told you? I doubt Amelie knows so enlighten me." he chuckled genuinely as he took a seat at my table. "Obviously she doesn't know, so tell me, who is it, Abhay?" I sighed looking at him, he sat there without evidence but he knew I was hiding something, or rather in this case, someone. "Why and how you find my stuff out I need to know.""I, for one, know you better than Amelie and as I always say I would have been a better PA than her but I love seeing her smile so here I am, playing the fool. so spit it out Abhay, who is the person? Male or female?" "Male or female?The heck?" "I'm not assuming your gender; just getting the basic idea here." "And if they don't have a fixed or confirmed gender?" "Then my apologies for assuming their gender. So?" "Drop it already" "I could have talked about it in front of her but I'm doing you a favour" I sigh deeply knowing this is one topic he would not drop until he gets the answer to it, but my office is one of the places I would rather not talk in about my extremely private secret. I stare at the clock, such an ominously good time, 1:11 PM, that I pick up my phone to go through the schedule. "You want to know huh?" "The very reason I am sitting here."I sent him the link to one of the places, which he received with an eyebrow up and looking up with a questioning look. "Tonight. 7:30.Be there" "Will you pay?" His cheeky grin would make people confuse his age of three-and-thirty with twenty-five "If I don't pay, will you come?"I ask knowing his answer, for one time to hear a different answer  "No" "You have your answer then " His smile has been contagious to say the least, for he smiled and sat there gauging my reaction, involuntarily receiving from me a smile in return. As soon as Amelie enters, he gets up with the same grin, packs his stuff up and sits back down. "What are you two idiots doing? Why are you laughing as if you got the best head of your life Kairav?" "Even better. Abhay asked me out on a date." The glare I received from Amelie was the best, utterly done and somewhat disgusted. "I would support you being gay Abhay, but please not my husband. I can find you better men." I sigh, like husband like wife. "Why are you both obsessed with my gender identity? Why does my sexuality matter?" "Because I want my husband safe" "Safe? From whom? Me? I need protection from him and you do too" "You asked him out on a date" "Told you, Amelie, our bromance is stronger than anything" "Fine Abhay, my man is yours for the night. I'm generous like that. I'll be out on a group date with my girls." "See? Free pass to date you" I sigh, they get on my nerves worse than my whole life, "I hate you both". To the door chimes exit Kairav, in tow Amelie who is seeing him off. I lean against my executive chair, the sponge put into it providing a slight relief. I yawn and think back how to phrase it all, but one thing my mind knows is that tonight I need alcohol in my system to come clean, hoping that he wouldn't say it to Amelie. And thus after Amelie left at 6:17 PM, I did whatever was left of answering and remaining calls before packing it all up. Soon after zipping on the laptop bag I looked at how the sky looked outside, leaning on the chair, body weary of the work while reminding myself of the dirty matter that more was left to be worked upon. Perks of owning your own business: never having a day off till I threaten everyone's whole existence not to call me on days when I feel like drowning in water but can't. I can swim. I look at the watch, contemplating my whole existence again and noticing the time is 7:23 PM and the weary sigh was something I could barely contain. I am the fool here, pining after a bar, should have called him home but by this time he might have even reached the bar leaving me no option but to drive there. I walk out of the office, locking it with the spare key as I do a walk around the office before walking down the hallway to the elevator where I witness a couple of my employees walking in. As tempted as I was to get in and go I stood there outside while the door closed. I looked surprised as the door opened again, a very gentle voice from one of my employees urged me to ride it alongside them, making me question if I should given all of them were women. "I shouldn't", I let my voice flow and give them a signal to move forward. they gave me a smile and a bow before the lift door closed and they moved downwards again. Soon after another elevator came up and I got on it, leaning against the door, a ghost of the past reminding me of the time I rode it with Harsh and Laadli. My reminiscent was broken apart by the ding of the Basement Parking floor. I sent a quick message to come pick me up by 10:30  to Mohan-ji if he is free, otherwise, I would have to ask for a designated driver from the bar and pay for his driving and the fare for his ride back too. I drove out, and a light jazz that's almost a lucid dream was playing on the system. A mirage of lights passed over and beside me, the colours of a metropolitan busy area at night. As the shares of white yellow and red came to a stop at another glaring red atop us all I took the privilege of looking beside me on the path of the pedestrian. Women and men on a tranquil walk, after a long day all worn down but they smiled. Some talked on the phone or maybe were swaying to the melody playing in their ears. Some had a sweet treat for the long day's work others had the peace of one's company while few waited for their person, to either walk back together to the peace of home or dream of plans. And even in this dream-like picture of daily life where every person was tired of their day's work, a couple caught my eye. The girl looked like she was coming back from her office after working hard while the guy looked to be returning from a grocery run with the leeks and spring onions visible poking out from the plastic, hugged the girl who visibly melted as people around them looked around with a smile at them and walked on their way. True qualities of someone who appreciates human connections for they didn't gossip but appreciated silently, while my thoughts broke due to the car behind me sounding its horn signalling how the light has ordered us to be on our way. I restart the car while spending one more look at them before driving away, my focus on the road, driving myself towards the destination. It was almost eight by the time I reached the bar, and Kairav had ended one can of his beer and was already on his second one. 

I sit at the bar beside him, questioning all my life choices in calling him here. He took a sip before looking at me like I am an experiment that is going to be successful. He smiled and started laughing with the song 'Ghost' went behind in the background. "The beer went to your head or something?" he laughed and ended his second can. "Tell me, who is the person?" "You don't waste time do you?" I laughed at his tenacity, the same habit that put me up a number of times. "Well, it's a rare item to have something to annoy you about anything. So?" I sigh and order myself a beer too, Kairav gets himself a side of fries. "Fries? Seriously?" "Yeah. I need to fill myself up before drinking more." "You die of alcohol poisoning I am going to be responsible." "Says the man whose house is a bar in and itself. Talking about your house, why are we here in the bar instead?" I look at him, half-a-side glance before shaking my head gently and drinking the contents down my throat. "Ah, you forgot again huh?", my grunting at his words made him laugh as he thanked the waiter who brought us the fries. "Still the Abhay Singh Katyal huh?"  I stare at him, letting him continue. "Remember how socially awkward you were with everyone that they thought your horses were too high?" "It would have been better if you were the one who thought that way." "Me huh? I found you intriguing, I knew you were one of the most genuine person one can meet." "If that's you proposing an affair with me then I am going to say no to it." he laughed understanding the words I implied. He turned to me, pointing one of those fries he's stuffing himself with. "You are still unapproachable but you've tamed down. I wonder why." both of my elbows rested on the table in front of us as I ran both of my hands through my hair and looked at him. "I think I tamed down with the accident." "No. That's not what I am talking about. It's a different tame." "I saw her Kairav and I met her the way it was something divine." "Divine huh? The man who doesn't believe in god much uses such words except for his exquisite word? Now I am intrigued." I breathe in the waft of my second order, a glass of Jack Daniels. "I fell down while watching her and while I was busy untangling myself from the mess I made as I fell down she offered her hand, She looked like a goddess who took pity on the devil to bring him out of the curse of chaos the gods put on him. Maybe it was the studio lights but they shone so bright behind her that they glowed her up, shining her aura up, and the shadow others cast on me somehow made me feel like I was in a pit of darkness while she saved me. I haven't had nightmares for long now Kairav." "Now that's news. How long have you had no nightmares?" "Ever since I saw her. She has been a better medicine than my alcohol" "Obviously but don't get addicted. One addiction is enough" "Yeah I know." I stare at my old friend, the golden liquid to drink down the pleasure."Oh. That's great. Does she know of your feelings?" "No, and no. I haven't been after her for that long." "Who is she, Abhay?" "A model." His face turned and twisted, perplexed at my choice of words. "Since when do you not pine after someone after knowing their profession? you know it's not wrong-" "I know and she is my model." "But that's still fine-" My sigh shuts him up as I drown the rest of the contents before asking for a refill, preparing myself for the words that are soon following another sigh."The model I picked myself for my haute couture line." "Oh.OH?!" "Yeah. She signed with us." "Damn, I mean it's not wrong but it sounds bad if not for you then for her you know what I mean?" "I know and I don't want that to happen"  "But if you do, something will soon happen. Are you ready for whatever is to come for her?" "Yes. And trust me, I will end whoever makes the remark." "Even if they are family?" My movement paused, the glass touching just my lips as I looked at him. A hard question indeed. "Abhay, even if they are family?" I sip it, before looking at the contents. "Yes. Even if it's my father." I find a gentle hard pat on my shoulder, him earning a smile. "That's my man. You grew up exceptionally well, I am proud and this calls for drinks"

I chuckled at his antics of ordering us starters as dinners, while I ordered me some salad with dressing and tortilla. He made a face that was beyond comprehension as I looked at him. "Abhay, I ordered us such goodies, why do you want to munch on grass? I know you aren't that intelligent but eating like a cow?" I shrugged off his complaints whereas his grass-fed talk continued to my dismay. That too with his drinking and till the food came. I snatched myself the plates before putting in the salad on tortilla and a couple of the starters in it along with the extra dressing, it came along like a wrap. I ate a bite and saw Kairav looking at me as if I had done something unintelligible. "You made yourself a meal?" "Needs the genius between us to complete their meal." "Why?" "Because unlike you, I am definitely not cooking." "But you are having a meal." "Correction. I am having a balanced meal, you are also having a meal, a fried meal." These words went on till the meal time went on a smooth sail of silence. "Why don't you say anything to Amelie?" I stare at him, both almost at the end of our meal, looking at him as if I were waiting for him to continue, though the subject struck me as odd. He feels me staring and smiles before sighing and taking a sip of water before half turning to me. "What I mean is, Amelie is someone I placed instead of me, as your assistant. You knew she was my affianced yet you let her work and till date no matter how much she complains about her work being a lot or hard she has never complained about the fact that she was treated badly or feels unsafe. After everything she went through I would have kept her home, not gonna lie but you changed it for her. Sometimes even when I ask her to come and work for me so her burden lessens, she says how you'll be otherwise stuck without her and that she does never wanna betray what you have done for her, giving her the space to express herself without feeling burdened. She sees you like a younger brother, always worrying and complaining yet I am sure if I made her choose who she feels more safe yet comfortable with, it would be you. Makes me jealous and grateful, to be honest." I swallow my food and look at him, giving him a look that screamed I am done with his shit yet he smiled like he genuinely loves me. "Please, be less cringe." "Look at you! Ungrateful brat! This is why you can never be the senior." Both of us get a call and text simultaneously, mine being a text from Mohan-ji saying he reached and his being the call from where Amelie's drunk blabber could be sound. I look at the plates seeing them empty before I turn to him, his face screams dejection. "Did she divorce you at last?" "Worse. Asked me not to be back home tonight. Take me in bro." "You done eating?" He looked at the empty plates, then at the glass that barely had one sip of drink left. He drowned that one sip and smiled, looking positively drunk as the alcohol hit his system."Yes done." I hand the server my card and once the bill is paid I grab his arm and pull him up, before putting it around my shoulder as I grab him by his waist and we walk towards the car. Mohan-ji helped me put this mad lad into the backseat before I climbed in too and he drove us off. Mohan-ji handed us both a bottle of hangover medicine and raw lemon shots. I gulp mine down, force feed him his. And somehow I don't remember much from how long the 20-mins road took us to reach my apartment but I did. With vague memory, I remember how Mohan-ji helped us in the apartment and took leave. I snatched him some clothes, mind highly disoriented as I took a shower. I sit on the edge of my bed and see something titled portfolio or was it folio? No matter what it was, it showed the pictures of the photoshoot. And my last thought that remains is that an empty photo frame that I picked up. 

The morning brought my house help's voice, screaming at who lay on the floor. My mind disoriented, I ignored it and fell asleep again as I smelled a waft of broth. When I open it again, I gruntingly get up and somehow brush the abomination of smell away, my eyes fall on the small wooden plaque mounted on the wall, which has flowers and lights on it, my eyes look at it in surprise but take no note to register, before walking out to a table that already had Kairav gulping down the soup, disoriented yet the look remains towards the floor, or maybe on my seat, or maybe the soup. I sat down to eat and asked him about his hungover self. He very solemnly asked me to eat as he gulped down the hung-over medicine, but what did welcome me at the end of my meal shocked me too. "Abhay, explain this." It was a photo frame I remember getting and placing it on the bedside table but its content made me open my eyes wide. It bore Laadli in Devotion, me looking up at her as she lent me her hand. "It was on the wood shelf of the wall, adorned with flowers and lights." I looked up at him as he sipped on his cup before looking into the horizon. "I saw you kneeling last night in front of it." His voice had a mirth that I didn't miss and as I looked back at him, he smirked as his words made me sigh, making me realize how far gone was I. 

"Welcome to the club brother." The same words he uttered when I first joined the race joint.