Enjoy :)

TW: existential crisis, mentions of religion and discussion of death and afterlife. Idk how it got to these topics. I guess pandemics bring out the philosophy in me.

It was only supposed to be an extended spring break. Maybe two... three weeks tops and then they'd go back, right?

Wrong. So wrong.

Rainbow stared at her laptop screen, trying to figure out what the hell she was looking at. It was supposed to be math, but there were no numbers. Only letters and symbols that she'd never seen before. Seriously? She wasn't a rocket scientist. Her major was athletic science. Not whatever this bullshit was.

Rainbow face planted into her bed comforter, screaming into the pretend void. Her scream was muffled, thankfully, so that none of the neighbors thought she was being physically murdered. Rainbow sat up.

"Nope. I'm done for the day." She declared, slamming her laptop closed.

She climbed out of bed, walking out of the bedroom. Rainbow headed downstairs, following the sound of music. She found Applejack in the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes from that morning's meal. Music from AJ's phone filled the room. Rainbow walked up to Applejack and hugged her from behind.

Applejack chuckled, stopping what she was doing.

"Hey, Sugarcube. You finish your homework?"

Rainbow groaned, her face pressed into AJ's back, the vibration making AJ laugh. Rainbow pulled her face away.

"I hate math. It's stupid and useless and hard. I'm gonna cry if I have to look at that fucking problem again. Is it too late to drop out and go off the grid?"

Applejack shook her head, smiling. She grabbed a nearby towel and dried her hands. Turning off the faucet, AJ turned around to wrap her arm around Rainbow, resting her chin on the shorter girl's head.

"Yes, sadly. We do have family that would miss us. Plus, you'd miss your friends n' your track team."

Rainbow hated when AJ was right. She groaned to complain.

"Shut up. I hate school and I just want to stew in hatred. Let me do this, and not ask questions, dude. Don't ruin it."

AJ rolled her eyes at Rainbow's dramatic behavior.

"You're alright, babe. Just cranky. Would some cider cheer ya up?"

Rainbow perked up immediately. She lifted her head and look up at AJ, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Really? Yes! I wanna get day drunk!"

AJ smirked and led Rainbow to the cellar, where AJ kept a barrel of apple cider. Needless to say, Rainbow was very happy for the rest of the day.
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Applejack was an early bird. She was usually up by dawn, ready for the day. Growing up, she'd needed to be up early in order to help care for her younger sister and help with chores. It wasn't abnormal in her area to be up and about and starting out the day. However, not that she and Rainbow lived in Canterlot, things were open later in the morning. Most people woke up after the sun was up. Rainbow Dash was one of those people. With mandatory quarantine in the country in effect, the couple had all the time in the world to sleep in.

Applejack opened the bedroom door. The lights were off. She walked across the room to the bed, where there was a lump underneath the blankets. AJ looked at the time.

1:35pm

Yup. Time to get up. AJ peeled the covers back. There was Rainbow, dead to the world, drooling a little on her pillow. Applejack still found it adorable.

"Rainbow?" She whispered. "Hey, wake up."

Rainbow inhaled through her nose and exhaled. She flipped over, grabbing the covers to cover herself. AJ gently shook her, not wanting to jerk her awake. That wouldn't end well.

"C'mon, RD. Wake up, sugarcube."

Rainbow whined.

"Nooo."

"Yes. It's after noon, babe. You gotta eat something."

Rainbow rolled over. When she finally pulled the covers from over her head and blinked sleepily up at AJ, AJ smiled.

"Had a good sleep?" She giggled, sitting down at the edge of the bed.

Rainbow Dash yawned and stretched. It took a while for her brain to catch up. She curled up with her pillow, looking at Applejack.

"Hey, beautiful." She greeted groggily. "Yup. I did."

Applejack planted a kiss on the top of Rainbow's hair.

"Good. You can go back to sleep once you eat n' brush your teeth. Alright?"

Rainbow nodded, rubbing her eyes. Applejack managed to get her out of bed and into the bathroom. Once finished, Rainbow felt more awake. Her meal consisted of French toast, and a glass of apple juice. Applejack had prepared it all. Rainbow felt blessed to have this girl.

Rainbow practically stuffed her face. The food, of course, was delicious.

"Have I told you that I love you?" She asked in between scoffing down the toast drowned in syrup.

AJ, sitting across from her girlfriend, smirk proudly, her crossed arms on the dining table.

"Yes. Ya have." She replied, clearly amused.
"Try not ta choke, ok? I ain't savin' your ass."

Rainbow had to swallow the mouthful she had before she could stick her tongue out at Applejack. Once she licked the plate and cup clean, Rainbow burped and sat back in her chair.

"Man. That was good. Thanks, again, AJ. Your cooking is awesome. If I tried to do that, I'd burn the place down."

Applejack thought back to the time when Rainbow actually almost burnt the kitchen down frying eggs. She wasn't terrible at cooking. Just, not amazing. Under supervision, Rainbow was improving. She could now be left alone with boiling water. Her attention span wasn't great, so that was something they had to keep in mind. Not her fault she was neuroatypical.

So, just to be on the safe side, Applejack did most of the cooking.

"Well, you'll get there." Applejack told her. "Ah'm sure of it. Now, go on end brush your teeth and then you can go on back to your cave."

Rainbow blew a raspberry at AJ before walking out. AJ smiled at Rainbow's childishness. Rolling her eyes, she put everything away before joining her girlfriend.
———————————

Man. The news was depressing these days. Staring at the TV, Rainbow listened to the updates on the state of the country.

Half a million people have died in ten months.

That was a jarring number, and it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. The fact that some people were trying to make this into a political issue was crazy. People were dying. Wear a mask or stay away from people and wash your stupid hands. Not difficult, unless you make it difficult.

Rainbow sighed, resting her chin on her hands. The images of the packed hospitals with not enough beds or ventilators filled the screen. Hospitals had to choose which patients to treat and which to send back home. If you got a normal illness or medical issue, you'd be screwed.

The more Rainbow looked and heard, the more she wanted to just not be alive anymore. Why did she have to be alive during a crappy time? Why couldn't things be happy and fair and cheerful? Even the country's leaders, the people meant to give citizens hope and guidance, weren't able to do much because of the previous Orange leader's idiocy. Things had gotten so much worse than anyone had thought, and the regular people paid the price.

Staring death in the face brought some thought provoking questions. How did Rainbow feel about death? What about after death? Did she believe in an afterlife? It was a nice thought, however unrealistic it was. A place you can spend time with your loved ones forever, without pain or fear or sadness or loneliness. A perfect paradise.

Rainbow wasn't religious by any means. Her mom had been, so Rainbow had heard about that stuff as a kid. It sounded nice and it had brought her mom happiness to connect with the supernatural and magic. Eden had always kept her beliefs to herself unless asked to share them. Rainbow had been taught that she could believe whatever she wanted, as long as no one was getting hurt.

Organized religion was weird. Too many rules and expectations. Not Rainbow's style. Plus, a lot of followers of popular religions these days made her life harder. Strangers butting into her personal life, thinking they knew her and her body better than herself. Just thinking about it made her blood boil. However, it wasn't all bad.

Twilight was raised a pagan witch. AJ had grown up in the deep south, so no need to explain that. So, the topic did come up every so often, and Rainbow didn't hate it. If she had to choose a belief system, maybe it'd be something cool like being a satanist or pagan or maybe hellenistic. She wouldn't mind chillin with Zeus when she died. Maybe she'd get powers too and show off to Applejack and the rest of their squad. That would be so epic.

Rainbow Dash didn't realize she had been off in her own little world. The gentle nudge on her shoulder brought her back to the living room. Looking up, Rainbow saw Applejack standing in front of her, a hand on her hip, grinning.

"You alright? I saw you starin' off inta space n' thought you mind need to talk about somethin'."

Rainbow smiled, looking down at the carpet. She self-consciously pursed her lips tightly.

"I was just watching the news. It's... grim."

AJ turned around to watch the screen. After a moment, AJ hummed.

"Yeah. That is a tragedy, indeed. Shoot. Can't wait til this is all over. Right?"

AJ turned back to Rainbow. She saw the far off look in her magenta eyes, and frowned. Sitting down beside Rainbow Dash, Applejack changed the channel and then put the volume down. She took Rainbow by the hand.

"Talk to me, babe. What's going on in that head o' yours?"

Rainbow looked up at her girlfriend.

"Do you ever think about death?" She asked. "Like what comes after? Do you think there's more to this universe than just living here on earth?"

AJ hummed thoughtfully.

"Well, my ma and pa were raised very religious. They passed some of those beliefs on ta my siblings and I, so I might be a little biased. Nowadays, I don't really think much about it. Whether or not I think there's an afterlife... well, it's certainly nice if it's true. However, I don't see any reason to fuss over such things."

Rainbow took in the words.

"If there are any higher powers, whatever they may be called... do you think they'd let us be together after we die? Would they let me see my mom? I'd really like that. It would really suck to never see her again."

Applejack wrapped an arm around Rainbow's shoulders, watching her. She thought about her response before speaking.

"I think that would be amazing, sugarcube. I don't see why that can't happen. I mean, magic is real and science suggests there are alternate realities. If aliens can be real, then sure."

AJ rubbed Rainbow's arm, getting said girl to look at her.

"Now, what's with all this existential crisis stuff?"

Rainbow dryly laughed. She motioned to the TV.

"It's just, with everything going on... It just got me thinking. That's all. It's scary. So many people dying. That could be us if we're not careful."

Rainbow crossed her arms, a worried expression on her face. AJ smiled sympathetically. She squeezed Rainbow's hand.

"Hey. Don't think about that. Just focus on each day and we'll do our best to take care of ourselves and just hope it's enough and that it gets better. That's all we can do."

Applejack was right. That's all they could do. Rainbow nodded.

"Ok. I just... don't want to die. Not now. If I did, it'd be scared of what happens. I don't want be alone forever. That's a horrible thought."

Rainbow shivered.

"Hey." AJ interrupted, taking Rainbow Dash by the shoulders.

Applejack smiled gently at her.

"You know I don't lie, right?"

Rainbow nodded.

"Then listen here. Whatever you want to believe happens after this life, is up to you. As long as it makes you happy and you feel a little less afraid, that is perfect. Seein' your ma again would be great. I'm sure she wants to see you too, wherever she is. All I know is that anything is possible, even if it don't have perfect logic. It helps you and it ain't hurtin' nobody, so I think you should hold on to it until you don't want to anymore and come to a different conclusion that gives you peace. Whatever gets you through the day, I one hundred percent think it's good to believe in. That any help?"

Rainbow nodded, her eyes shining.

"Yeah. Thanks."

Taking a calming breath, Rainbow smiled shyly.

"I guess it's just hard. Not much to do here but be alone with your thoughts. Thanks for bringing me back."

AJ kissed her lips.

"You're welcome. Now, you wanna watch some anime or play a new Pokémon game? The Pokémon Sun and Moon games you ordered came in the mail this mornin'."

Rainbow lit up.

"Yes!"

Applejack stood up, taking Rainbow with her. The two went to head to the kitchen. They had a Pokémon team to build.

So yeah. It wasn't supposed to end up so dark and deep. Geez, my mind is weird tonight. Anyway, lemme know what you think :)