That's the first time someone asked me that question

And I felt like answering

I feel comfortable to say

That my head swirls in and around itself

Squeezing in on every thought

For what feels like hours

Summoning whispers that aren't there

Turning the light cold

And the darkness of my room into the only safe space

I have left

Turning pain into a rarity

So scarce you see

That I yearn for it

As a break from the apathy

Swinging in pendulum fashion

From atmospheric highs

To hellish lows

Faster and faster

Over and over

'til I fear I may hurt you

So quiet I stay

And pose happy smiles

Like the morbid statues of Pompeii

Uncomfortable yet permanent

I fear that you will watch cascade down

And realize you don't want to put up with it

So ask if I'm okay

I probably won't tell the truth

But I do so wish I did

Because you make me want to be honest

Even if I'm scared that honesty

Won't turn out the way I wish