Book: Kindred Hearts

Author: sulkytae

Genre: YA/Romance

BLURB

Let me start with the blurb. I think it was extremely intriguing and I liked the initial contrast between the two characters. However, I spotted a few mistakes in there, minimal, but still there. You have used 'through' instead of 'thought'

Original: 'Evelyn ventures down a road she never through she would end up on'

Edited: 'Evelyn ventures down a road she never thought she would end up on'

Also, you have written 'know,' replace this with 'knew'

Original: 'They never know they needed.'

Edited: 'They never knew they needed.'

Other than that, I think the blurb was great and had all the qualities needed to allure a reader!

OPENING PARAGRAPH

I loved the opening! It is important to keep readers hooked by getting straight into the story. You did just that!

I felt, on the whole, the paragraph was interesting and written extremely well. However, if I had to make some edits this would be it:

Original: 'which had been in my hands moments before but had been thrown a good few feet away from me'

Edited: 'which had been in my hands moments before being thrown a good few feet away'

The sentence can be shortened and, in my opinion, flows better. I think the sentence is pretty stretched in the original version, compared to the edited. Of course, you do not need to make changes to this sentence – I am only feedbacking my opinion.

Also, where Mr. Fisher speaks you have written:

Original: 'our teacher, Mr. Fisher said abruptly' when it should be;

Edited: 'our teacher, Mr. Fisher, said abruptly'

There are little errors like this throughout the book. Another example of this is;

Original: 'you'll never even noticed we were partnered'

Edited: 'you'll never even notice we were partnered'

As you can see the tense is a little off. Editing over these mistakes shouldn't be too difficult because as I've mentioned, they're minimal. However, I do recommend editing them. Not only will it ensure great grammar, but will help the book to flow more.

If I could point out one more thing, It would be that you overused the word 'slightly' in one instance.

Original: 'he scoffed and turned his head to slightly face me, cocking his eyebrow slightly'

Edited: 'he scoffed, turning his head to face me and cocking his eyebrow slightly' or

'he scoffed and turned his head slightly to face me, cocking his eyebrow'

The change of 'turned' to 'turning' isn't necessary. However, I recommend removing one of the 'slightly' used.

Overall, I liked the backstory. I think it was well thought out and gave the reader an insight as to why characters behave a certain way. I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED, the character interactions! The added humour and flirty behaviour really engaged me as a reader! Your writing style is extremely unique and I love it – it was one of the greatest aspects of your book!

OTHER CHAPTERS

I continued to recognise character development and there was a huge sense of character complexity. I loved how you crafted the scenes and I was hooked to the book! The plot was pretty cliché on the whole – girl is 'enemies' with boy. Girl is in an abusive relationship. Girl and boy get together. Despite this, I still felt that you put your own twist on the story and it was successful. Usually, cliché books are a no for me, but your writing style and descriptions were so amazing, that I really enjoyed it!

OVERALL

An amazing book! It was written extremely well! With some editing here and there, it can be at its best standard! I would definitely recommend this book as it was an extremely enjoyable and successful piece <33

One thing I noted which I really liked was the line, 'We drove and drove, leaving our problems behind us with every mile that we covered' I think it was a beautiful metaphor and I recommend slotting in more of these!

▹please note that not all feedback will follow the same structure; I base the subheadings on how I think it will benefit the author <33