Book: A Twist Of Fate

Author: coffeeandbookaholic

Genre : YA/ Romance

COVER

I love the cover! It is simple yet meaningful. A stunning cover.

BLURB

Sentences were pretty bland and were lacking that umph. Sentences were quite short, so it would've been nice to see a wider range of sentences used.

GRAMMAR

Grammar wasn't the strongest suit in your book. Most of the errors lie in your comma usage or lack of commas thereof.

Original: 'Seeing this as a perfect excuse to ditch the assignments I start walking towards the door...'

Edited: 'Seeing this as the perfect excuse to ditch the assignments, I start walking towards the door...'

Original: 'My mother being a single parent has been working extra hours to manage the household...'

Edited: 'My mother, being a single parent, has been working extra hours to manage the household

Original: 'I am a student with decent grades except for maths but I'm working on it.'

Edited: 'I am a student with decent grades, except for maths, but I'm working on it.'

Original: 'Brian the captain of the football team was aspiring to join college on a sports scholarship so he's definitely going to make the team practice at every break they get.'

Edited: 'Brian, the captain of the football team, was aspiring to join college on a sports scholarship so he's definitely going to make the team practise at every break they get.'

Again, there is a comma error. 'Practice' should also be substituted with 'practise.' This is because 'practise' is the verb, whereas 'practice' is the noun.

Edit: okay so apparently in American-English, this rule doesn't apply lmao so ignore that I guess.

Original: 'Helloo Sara are you zoning out again!'

Edited: 'Hello Sara, are you zoning out again?'

This a question, so make sure to use appropriate grammar for the sentence!

Original: 'being the captain of the football team he's about 6ft tall.'

Edited: 'being the captain of the football team, he's about 6ft tall.'

Again, a comma error. The list of errors are too extensive. Therefore, I have not listed them all. However, please do use an editing shop or look through other errors that are similar!

SENTENCES

So you often merge sentences together with a comma. However, I don't recommend doing this. For example:

Original: 'Xavier Andrews is slightly taller than Brian, whenever I see him, he always seems to be glaring at someone.'

Edited: 'Xavier Andrews is slightly taller than Brian. Whenever I see him, he always seems to be glaring at someone.'

The edited version flows better on the whole :)

OVERUSING WORDS

I felt that this was done countless times. I let the 'assignments' one slip in the first paragraph as I thought you were trying to emphasise the protagonist's hatred for assignments. However, this was done countless times throughout the book. For example, in the sentence:

Original: 'The cafe is pretty close to my house, so I usually walk my way to the cafe.'

There is an overuse of the word, 'cafe.' Perhaps try something like:

Edited: 'The cafe is pretty close to my house, so I usually walk my way there.'

TENSES

So there quite a few instances where tenses were confusing

When they sit down for lunch Ava 'says' something and when Sara responds, they 'said' it. There are other examples, but I won't list them. However, I do recommend re-reading the book for this mistake. Make sure tensing is consistent so the book flows!

CLICHE

I'm sure you're probably more than aware of this, but the plot was extremely cliche. This platform is full of books with a similar storyline. I have even seen some of the exact sentences used in other books! This cliche storyline can get a little tiring and I just wish you had tried to be more creative. However, despite this, the book was still extremely enjoyable!

DIALOGUE

A new speaker means a new line. There were a few examples where you didn't do this, so I recommend re-reading and editing. Due to other errors, I recommend using an editing shop!

ROUTINE

I felt the overall scenes were a little tiring. Please note that you do not need to list the entire routine of a character, as this can get repetitive.

FORE-SHADOWING

I really loved this quality in the book! At the end of Chapter 7, fore-shadowing was apparent, and I was excited to see the direction the book would go!

RELATABILITY

Honestly, this is what I loved most about the book! It was humorous and relatable which is a wonderful aspect of a book! This is always an engaging factor in a book and is sure to keep readers satisfied!

CHAPTER BEGINNING

In the starting chapters, this wasn't a feature that particularly stood out. However, the author's progression was clear as the start of other chapters was eye-catching! I found them extremely enjoyable!

OVERALL

This was an extremely enjoyable read! However, I do think it needs a little more polishing up. Despite this, I think this book is very successful and you should be proud of yourself for creating such a lovely piece of work. If you have any inquires, do not hesitate to get in touch <3