I made this maybe a year or two ago.. never finished it but now I have.

POV: MCD

NOTE: no joke is made about suicide. Or self harm. This chapter is based around it, but Depression is real and a lot of people have it. I myself, do not – I have had it but not medically. I know what it does. I know its damage.

A P H M A U P O V
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I walked over to my bathtub, filling it with water. I then walked over to my wood rim mirror and looked down, behind the toilet to the right of the sink. My eyes started to water and I took off my armored shoulder pads and the buckle under my chest. Then took off the purple crop top, showing the tiniest bump on my stomach.

A tear fell from my eye, and I hastily wiped it away. I reached behind the toilet and grabbed a shard of glass I had saved for quite a while.

I put it on the sink and took off my belt and pants, leaving me in my undergarments. I moved to the bath, pre-filled. I checked the temperature. Neutral. Good.
I reached over, grabbing the glass, and got in the bath.

A half hour later, I set the glass on the side of the bath, but being clumsy I pushed it over onto the floor. Pieces of it chipped and I sighed.

Now I just got blood everywhere. Great.
I laid there, letting the air hit my stinging arms.

Another five minutes later, I got out, not able to put pressure on my arms.

"Just go sit there, she'll be so happy!"

I heard Zoey say. I sighed and simply changed into my extra pair of dry undergarments. The ones I wore in the bath were bloody and wet. My fault for wearing brown.

I put on the black bra and panties, both lace, and also threw on an old tee shirt I found in a crate. I cleaned and decided nobody would be around, and I could bandage them later. I grabbed a hair tie, and opened the door.

While walking out I put my hair up in a messy bun, holding a nail file in between my teeth.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

I stood still, my hands behind my head and my arms exposed.

Aaron was sitting on the double bed, facing the bathroom door.

He lifted his head up, showing his handsome face and gorgeous smile. Then it faded.

"Aphmau...?" Oh his voice. I forgot how much I missed it.

I couldn't breathe. H-he's alive!

And he's looking at me.

He's looking at me.

I gasped, my hand coming to my mouth as the nail file fell, and my feet running to the bathroom. I shut the door behind me.

Click.

I heard him knock on the door lightly.

I just stood there, against the door breathing heavily with my hands over my mouth and eyes wide.

I whimpered and grabbed the bandage off the shelf.

After wrapping my arms, I unlocked the door, stepping out. I hugged myself.

He stood up once again, and lightly touched my bandaged arm, right over a cut. I winced and threw my arm to my chest. The pain dulled and I looked up at him.

He had tears in his eyes.

"Aphmau...why did you never tell me about this?"

I shut my eyes, clenching my jaw and saying, "I was scared to," I whimpered, looking at the floor.

He immediately pulled me into a hug, wrapping his arms around my waist, careful of my still stinging arms.

I stood there. Then, I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. He held me tighter, lifting me of my feet. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and we both had our heads nuzzled in each other's necks. I felt a few hot tears hit my neck.

I whimpered as I saw my bandages tinted from hugging him too tight. I got off him, and clutched my arms. He still had his arms on my waist. I blushed slightly, even though it isn't new.

"C'mon, let's clean you up."

I was going to make a sarcastic comment, saying 'I'm already clean, I took a bath,' but I wasn't clean. I practically bathed in blood, and I was still bleeding.

So, instead I said, "Okay."

He helped me to the bathroom. He saw the glass I had left on the floor. Whoops.

He looked at me, sad.

I looked away, not able to look him in the eye. His eyes stayed teary as he grabbed the glass and put it on the counter, the blood smearing on the counter. My arms stung.

I scratched at them lightly and it hurt. Suddenly, I was facing Aaron and he held my arms apart, making sure I didn't touch them. The blood increased where I scratched.

His eyes widened and he grabbed the bandages from the counter. It had bloody and wet fingerprints of mine but it looked like a blur.

Come to think of it, everything looked like a blur. I was tired.

"Mm. Aaron I'm tired..." I said leaning against the counter. The fear and sadness in his eyes and on his face increased. "Do not sleep, Aphmau," he breathed.

He started unrolling one of the large bandages that stuck to my arm and saw blood brimming the clean tracks I had made with the glass from above my elbow, down to my wrist. They all had an inch between them.

He looked at me and I looked at my feet.

"Aphmau...how long have you done this?" He asked, motioning to the faded scars around the new cuts.

I gave a dry laugh. "As long as I can remember. These, Uhm....these were the deepest I've done in a while." My head spun and I shut my eyes, leaning back onto the bathroom wall behind me.

***
Newly Finished:

"Hey, don't close your eyes, you have to stay awake."

"I'm dizzy," I complained.

Quiet for a moment, he worked up his courage to comment. "It's blood loss. Stay awake long enough so I can stop the bleeding, ok?"

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Aaron was looking me in the eye, watching as a tear fell from my eye and held my hands. I nodded and he set to work with a wet cloth to clean the wounds.

After he finished that, he bandaged them. I was still dizzy, but I definitely felt cleaner.

And heavy. Like a weight sat on my shoulders.

Once we were done, he sat us on the bed beside each other and waited patiently for my dizziness to fade. I set my head on his shoulder, allowing us silence. I relished his presence.

"I missed you." I breathed.

He held me tighter at the waist, and put his head on mine. "I know. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"I'm sorry I'm a burden."

Taking his head off mine, he moved so we could look each other in the eye. He looked shocked - both by my words and the sincerity in my eyes.

"Why would you ever think you're a burden? Because I can promise you you're not."

Averting my eyes, I looked at my hands. "How? Tell me Aaron, how am I not? I'm pregnant and I can't even stop myself from almost bleeding to death!" I cried. A few tears fell and I sobbed.

"Y-You're pregnant?"

I nodded and looked up at him. "It's yours. I only found out after."

His eyes widened in joy and he hugged me close, kissing my head. He mumbled something along the lines of "I'm going to be a dad again."

"You're not mad?"

"How could I be mad at this?"

"Because. . . I don't know. Maybe because I'm suicidal even with a child growing inside me."

"You have a right to your emotions. But we can help you Aphmau, we all can."

Deciding against telling him I don't want anyone to know was easy, because I turned and looked him straight in the eye.

I saw pride, hope, happiness and above all I saw love.

I kissed him right there on the spot.

And all the pain I felt or hurt I inflicted on myself was forgotten even for just a second.

I was loved.

I think you are beautiful.
All of you.
I know you are strong.
You made it this far.
I promise you are loved.
Every day of your lives.

I am always here for you.