JULY 22

DAKOTA

There was no cell service at the summit of Mount Constitution. This would usually serve to piss me off, but today it came as a relief due to the aggressive number of notifications I started receiving at the crack of dawn. I never knew there was such a thing as too many birthday wishes. So in the absence of technological noise, I inhaled the scent of pine and saltwater as I surveyed the panoramic views of the archipelago from a medieval-inspired lookout tower.

Mount Constitution was the highest point in the San Juan Islands, and the second highest ocean island in the contiguous forty-eight states, making it a popular tourist trap. That was why Syd bullied me, Nicki and Bryce onto the earliest ferry to Orca Island, and we started the 6.6 mile loop just as the sun was rising over the Olympic Mountain Range.

Syd appeared next to me at the railing, munching on the homemade granola he'd brought with him. "Yo, remember when we were forced to do this hike in the fifth grade?"

I grinned. "To fulfill the Washington State curriculum requirement of planting pine trees as a way to give back to Mother Earth. How could I forget?"

"I named my tree 'Deciduous' because even ten-year-old me was a comedic legend who appreciated the irony."

"Those were the good old days," I said, shaking my head as related memories surfaced. There was an old scrapbook somewhere in my house containing a film photo of the two of us wearing oversized gardening gloves and holding up little pine trees. I made a mental note of tracking it down later. 

"Hey, you should start a livestream on Instagram," Bryce suggested, stomping up to us alongside Nicki. "Now is your one and only chance to say what up I'm Dakota I'm nineteen and I never fucking learned-"

"No," I interrupted. The last thing I wanted to do on his birthday was to turn myself into a meme. "Even if I wanted to, there's no cell service."

"That's lame," Bryce critiqued, kicking a small rock off the deck. "You know, I still think we should hop on the ferry to Victoria. You can purchase yourself a birthday blunt."

Next to Bryce, Nicki looked like he was trying hard not to smirk. Inviting Bryce to join us on our day trip was proving to be a source of comic relief, but I was too tense to appreciate it. I could never get Apex and the dead orca off of my mind.

"I'm going to have to pass," I said. "I'd rather not have photos of me emerging from a cannabis store on social media. Not that there's anything wrong with smoking, but I don't want people thinking I'm a pothead."

Bryce shook his head, smirking. "Wow, it must be hard being that famous."

I scowled. "It's also hard being caught up in a conspiracy where I'm accused of attempting to further my career by killing orcas."

"Take it easy, birthday boy," Byrce teased, and Syd shot me a look that all but said be mature. "I'm just messing with you. Besides, you've proved your innocence because you have an alibi for, like, everything."

"At least I have that going for me."

Bryce squinted into the morning sun, his expression turning pensive. "When Albert heard that Maud was missing, he turned himself in, right?"

The three of us nodded. The role Albert played was now common knowledge on Friday Island. Before Albert turned himself into the police, he delivered a statement to a local saying that he was anonymously blackmailed into killing the orca.

Supposedly, the harpoon arrived at his house with a note detailing that if he didn't follow through, he'd pay the price with his life.

I considered that last part to be both vague and dramatic, but then, of course, there was the indisputable fact that Zachary's involvement resulted in his death. He paid the price with his life. 

"Then why does Albert confessing to killing the orca feel like a dead end?" Bryce asked with a wild hand gesture. "I know that's what a lot of people on the island are thinking, and I feel like you guys know more than anyone else. I mean, wasn't Allix the one who discovered the harpoon at the Whaling Museum."

"Allix made a lucky guess," Syd said, glancing down the stone stairwell to confirm that no other hikers were on their way up to join us. "The harpoon wasn't even on display until the day before the banquet."

"How do you even know this?" Nicki asked, throwing Syd a skeptical look.

"You seem to forget that Friday Island is a small town, Nicki." Syd paused to take a swig from his purple Hydro Flask and shoved his granola into his backpack. "My mom has a friend who works at the museum, and she told her that they didn't even know the harpoon was missing because it wasn't on display."

"How convenient," Nicki replied, and turned to face me. "Is there any reason why Conrad would have access to the museum?"

"None whatsoever," I said, still fed up with the theory that Conrad was the one pulling all of the strings. There was no reason for us to believe that he was responsible other than him being an easy target.

Nicki nodded, fidgeting with the strap of his orange backpack. "It's odd that the police haven't asked us more questions, right?"

Syd's eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "Dude. Not being interrogated and accused of murder is a good thing. We deserve a break."

"Sheriff Wakeman has enough on her plate," I added, recalling my brief conversation that I had with her when I was in the hospital on July 10th. "She isn't going to waste her time and resources on a bunch of nosy teenagers."

"What's the deal with Allix, then?" Bryce asked, adjusting the strings on his purple UW soccer bucket hat. "It seems like she's weirdly involved in this shit."

Weirdly involved in this shit was an accurate way to describe Allix's situation, and I worked my jaw. According to Syd, Bryce was up to date on almost everything as a result of dating Rowena McGovern. I didn't like the idea of there being one more person who could spill our secrets and screw us all over, but I wanted to believe I could trust my friends, even if trust had become something of a rare commodity these days.

"Conrad saved Allix's skin when Wakeman busted her for snooping in the trailer," Nicki said grimly.

"What's your point?" I asked, despite already knowing the answer.

"Conrad could try and blackmail her when he wants to cash in his chips."

Bryce gave a low whistle. "Scratch being weirdly involved. Allix is fully caught in the spider's web."

I briefly entertained the idea of shoving Bryce off the mountain. My disdain for Bryce's comment must've shown on my face because Byrce wordlessly threw his hands up in mock surrender and began the trek down the stairs.

"Bryce has a point," Nicki said begrudgingly. "For lack of better words, Allix isn't much better than Maud when it comes to making impulsive decisions."

"Maud is a Leo and Allix is a Scorpio," Syd added as though this somehow explained their behavior. "Though to be fair, they haven't been wrong about much so far, and lucky or not, Allix found both the harpoon and Maud's note from the boathouse."

"But that doesn't mean that they always have to be right," I argued with a little too much fire, and Syd's brows furrowed.

"Maud's note had to have been stolen by Albert," Nicki deduced, plowing onward in our discussion. It was admittedly nice to talk things through. "Allix never turned it over to the police, but I bet she would've if Albert hadn't turned himself in."

There was a voice in the back of my head that told me that I should be bothered by how much faith Nicki had in Allix. The reason for being bothered had little to do with Nicki, though. After all this time and all that we'd been through together, I wanted to have unwavering faith in Allix, but I didn't. That realization carved out a hollow inside my chest.

"I just don't understand why Albert needed that note," Syd blurted out. "I get the significance of Orcinus orca, but why would he take it and then leave it on the boat? When I talked to Maud about it, she didn't have a clue."

"If only we could talk to Albert," Nicki said, sighing as his eyes darted down to where Byrce was standing on top of the low brick wall, taking a selfie. "Byrce is such an occupational hazard. I'll meet you guys down there."

Following Nicki's departure, Syd and I stood in a comfortable silence, watching the soft yellow light of the sun spread over the surrounding islands, and shimmer on the Rosario Straight.

"Thanks for planning this," I sighed out, only now realizing how much I needed this. "Hiking is better than a party."

"So is kayaking, but I get why you weren't down to do that again," Syd joked, but the playful gleam in his eyes faded after a moment. "How are you holding up?"

I shrugged, staring out at the sea of puffy white clouds that shrouded the waters beneath. "Fine, I guess. There's not much that's in my control right now, and that sucks."

Syd elbowed me in the arm, sending me a pointed look. "Have you heard from Allix recently? When I talked to her yesterday, she said she hadn't seen you in a while. I guess I want to know if that's true."

When it came to telling the truth, Allix was known for being exceptionally blunt. I appreciated the fact that she never sugar-coated things, but things were different now. Whenever I thought I finally understood her motive, she managed to go and do the exact opposite of what I expected. Allix forgave Brenna before knowing whether Maud would live to see another day, and that seemed to undermine everything I thought I knew about her.

Also, if there was one lesson I learned from my relationship with Maud, it was that honesty was the heart and soul of any meaningful relationship, and I wasn't going to sacrifice that again. I could respect the fact that there were things people never wanted to share, experiences they would internalize and carry with them to their grave, but it would be nice to have some sense of consistency in our dialogue.

Our relationship wasn't like this before. I wondered if we'd changed, or if the stakes had.

"We haven't talked," I admitted, failing to shove the memory of Allix dropping my hand in the parking lot that night out of my head.

Syd groaned, leaning back against the stone wall. "Not this again."

"You're making a big deal out of nothing," I rolled my eyes, determined to deter Syd from saying what I assumed was on the tip of his tongue. "I'm busy, and she's just Allix."

"And she's just Allix," Syd mimicked with an eye roll of his own. "One of these days, you're both going to regret wasting each other's time by being too proud and immature to work out your supposedly secret predicament. So, when that day comes, I'll make sure I'm around to say 'I fucking told you so' or something equally satisfying."

"We're not wasting each other's time," I muttered, wondering if this was what denial sounded like. My best guess would be yes, this was exactly what denial sounded like.

"Oh, my bad," Syd said, placing a hand over his heart as he feigned remorse. "Not speaking to each other when there's something crazy important to discuss seems like a gigantic waste of time to me, but what do I know? I'm just the friend who has known the pair of you for over a decade."

"Timing is important," I blurted out even though I was still opposed to having this discussion. Talking about my...complicated relationship with Allix wasn't something that I'd ever done, and I wasn't sure if I was prepared to verbally articulate my reservations to my best friend. "With everything that's going on with Apex, now isn't the right time to try and figure things out."

"Bullshit," Syd stated. "People who wait around for the right time to figure things out with someone who they obviously have feelings for are the same people who don't get a happy ending."

"What about your happy ending?" I deflected, raking a hand through my hair. "The last time I checked, you and Brenna weren't on speaking terms."

"Don't try and change the subject, asshole," Syd fired back. "The situation with Brenna is a whole different can of worms that we can open literally any other time. This conversation is about you."

"Listen, Allix doesn't want anything to do with me right now," I said, swallowing hard as I met Syd's steady gaze. "If you saw her at the hospital, you'd know that."

"Nicki caught me up to speed on what I missed."

Because of course he had.

"What a saint," I deadpanned.

Syd let out a dramatic sigh and unleashed another eye roll. "Dakota, you can't seriously believe that Allix is mad at you. If I had to guess, I'd say that her pride is getting in the way."

"And if I had to guess, I'd say that she wants space," I countered, pushing myself off the railing. "It wouldn't be the first time, and it probably won't be the last."

"Jesus, it's really taking every cell in my body not to kidnap you and drive you over to her house." Syd dragged a hand across his face, sighing again. "What I'm trying to say is that you need to take action. You weren't wrong when you said that there's not much that you can control, but this isn't one of those things."

I took a deep breath, allowing Syd's words to sink in before throwing him a wry smile. "You're better than the rest of us, you know that right?"

Syd's face lit up, and as much as I wanted to be annoyed at him for cracking me open like an oyster, I couldn't. "Yeah, most of the time I do."

*

A text message from Conrad Kane arrived later that evening, summoning me to his trailer on the set of Apex.

The only details Conrad included in the text other than the meet time of 7:00 was that this concerned the succession of executive leadership, but that was more than enough to put me on edge.

Upon arriving on set, I spotted Brenna also waiting outside of the trailer, and I inwardly groaned. The days that we'd spent together on set had been tense but professional because miraculously, she was self-aware enough to grant me that small courtesy.

At this point, the betrayal I'd initially felt had faded, and was replaced by ambivalence. Our previous relationship was extinct, but I hadn't ruled out attempting to eventually set things right. Forgiving Brenna now felt like a betrayal not only to Syd and Maud, but also to myself. How could I forgive someone who I didn't trust?

When I reached the trailer, I was quick to avert my gaze, and didn't waste my breath on greeting her. I needed to save my polite vocabulary for when she inevitably opened her mouth.

"I saw Allix yesterday," Brenna said, snapping our brief silence in half like a twig.

"Right, because you and Allix are best friends now," I retorted, throwing her a deadpan look.

Brenna's eyes twinkled. "Don't be jealous."

I stared up at the cloudless sky as the breeze picked up, bringing the dry scent of the sea closer. Irritation weighed heavily on my shoulders, but so did my exhaustion. Dealing with Brenna's sass  wasn't something I was cut out for at the moment. Also, for two people who were no longer on speaking terms, Syd and Brenna were weirdly in sync.

"We don't do this anymore," I said, aiming my words at the sky.

"Do what?"

"Talk about our lives."

"Because you don't trust me?" When I didn't respond, Brenna scoffed. "What about Allix? Don't you trust her? She forgave me, by the way."

Sighing, I turned my gaze back to Brenna, who lifted an incredulous brow as she waited for my response. Hearing that Allix had officially forgiven Brenna wasn't a surprise; if anything, it was a relief to know that she'd meant what she said, and wasn't playing any kind of mind games. I doubted that I would ever understand her decision, and while I hoped I could learn to respect it, today wasn't that day.

"I meant what I said. We're not talking about this, any of this."

"What more do I have to do, Dakota?" Brenna demanded. "How many more apologies do I need to give? Tell me what I can make it up to you, and I'll do it."

The sincerity in Brenna's voice caught me off guard, but it wasn't enough to warrant any sympathy from me. Unlike Allix, I didn't feel like I owed her the benefit of the doubt.

"I don't want you to make it up to me because you can't," I shook my head. "You fucking can't."

Just as Brenna opened her mouth to respond, the door to the trailer swung open to reveal Conrad. His expression was one of weary disapproval, making it clear that he'd overheard our exchange. After a long moment, he wordlessly stepped out of the doorway and gestured for us to come join him inside. Brenna reacted quicker than me, and knocked me in the shoulder as she stepped up into the trailer, like the immature nineteen-year-old that she was.

Inhaling one final breath of fresh air, I entered the trailer and grimaced as Brenna and I settled onto opposite ends of the leather couch that faced Conrad at his desk. The distance between us did not go unnoticed by Conrad, who simply shook his head.

"You two know more than you care to let on, which is why I wanted to address you together," Conrad began, glancing between the pair of us as he inhaled a deep breath. "Tomorrow, I will formally step down from my position as an Executive Producer for Apex."

A harrowing silence descended upon the room, knocking the air out of my lungs like a powerful wave.

"You're quitting?" I croaked out.

"Not quite. I'm removing myself from the limelight."

"So you're fake quitting?" Brenna questioned.

"One of your friends has something that belongs to me, but I don't need it back," Conrad said, ignoring Brenna's question. "She should've used it when she had the chance, but my guess is that she's a half-decent person who didn't want to screw Apex over."

Allix.

Conrad had to be talking about Allix.

Grinding my teeth, I acknowledged that Bryce was right to believe that Allix was caught in the spider's web. Good thing I'd decided against pushing him off the mountain.

But despite this acknowledgement, I refused to validate Conrad's claim. "Sir, I don't know what you're talking about."

"Brenna does," Conrad replied evenly.

"You're right," Brenna admitted, instantly resurrecting the flame of betrayal burning inside me. "I know exactly what you're talking about."

I barked out a laugh. "And you say that you want to make it up to me, huh? You're not off to a great start."

Brenna shot me a dark look. "Dakota, this isn't about-"

"If you could tell Allix McGovern that she has nothing to worry about from me, that would be appreciated," Conrad dryly interrupted. "I've been making my rounds, but she's proven to be rather...elusive."

I raked a hand through my hair, shaking my head. "God, I should've demanded to film in Nova Scotia. None of this would be happening if we were in fucking Nova Scotia."

"Gretchen England will be flying into Seattle tomorrow morning and should be on the island by nightfall. Nothing is set in stone, but odds are that she will oversee the remainder of the filming. We are still on track to finish by early September, so it should be smooth sailing from here on out."

Brenna scoffed. "As long as nothing else from the screenplay decides to, you know, become real."

"No one wants another dead orca washing up on the beach," Conrad said, massaging his temples. "Which is why FIPD now has access to all of the information it could need to prevent other atrocities from occurring."

"They've been doing a great job so far," I remarked, unable to keep my sarcasm at bay.

Truth be told, I didn't know how much progress the FIPD had made on the case, but then again, it wasn't my  job to figure out what the hell was going on. I was a writer and a filmmaker, not a detective. Even my parents were concerned that I'd become too entrenched in the island's drama. Granted, I could drive down to the station myself and tell Sheriff Wakeman everything and anything that could potentially help in the investigation, but there was something holding me back. The feeling was warm like pride, and heavy like selfishness.

"So, does this mean that you're going to go public about your relationship with Gretchen England?" Brenna suddenly asked, and I stiffened in my seat. "Because if you don't, Allix said that she would."

"The Seattle Chronicle will publish an article on Friday."

Brenna narrowed her eyes. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"You're better off making a blood pact," I advised, glaring between the two of them. I honestly couldn't decide who I despised more at this moment in time.

Conrad's eyes cut to me, but when he spoke, he addressed Brenna, "I need to speak to Dakota alone."

Nodding, Brenna stood up and threw me an indecipherable look. "I'll wait for you outside."

"Please, don't."

When the door shut behind Brenna, Conrad didn't waste any time with small talk.

"The vultures are circling, Dakota. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to duck and cover."

"What about me?"

I hated how childish I sounded, how pathetically needy, but I refused to let that question go unanswered. I was painfully aware that this was not about me. I was not about to try and make this about my career or even how my personal life was close to shambles. All I wanted was to understand. I needed an answer. 

Conrad's expression softened. "We're not the same. I knew that the moment I meant you, and that was the very reason why I wanted to work with you." He exhaled a long, tired breath. "It's also why you won't want me around. Apex is yours, and in order for it to get the recognition that it deserves, I can't be at your side."

"You said that you weren't going to quit," I said, shaking my head.

"But it's in Apex's best interest that I do," Conrad countered.

Anger engulfed me all at once, setting every nerve in my body ablaze.

"Don't you get it? This isn't about Apex anymore!" Conrad's brow furrowed and I jumped up from my seat. "I understand that you're worried about your career because I am too, but can't you see that we've done more harm than good? You saw what happened to that orca, to Zachary, and Maud. How can you walk away after that? How are you okay with being such a coward?"

Conrad must've been too stunned to respond as I stalked over to the door and launched myself outside. When the door slammed shut behind me, numbness radiated through my extremities, but I was still capable of stomping past Brenna at the top of the grassy hill.

"Hey," she called, on my heels in an instant. "What the hell was that?"

"None of your fucking business," I shouted back over my shoulder.

"Actually, it is my fucking business because, in case you've forgotten, I work for you and Conrad. I'm your star."

Shaking my head, I kept walking. "I haven't forgotten."

I made it about ten yards before noticing that I could no longer hear Brenna's footsteps behind me. Against my better judgement, I turned around. She was still standing at the top of the hill, surrounded by the tall grass that continued to sway in the breeze. Unlike that night at Cape Blue when there were tears in her eyes and blood on her hands, she stood with her shoulders back and chin lifted.

"You're my best friend," Brenna stated.

"Seriously?" I choked on a laugh.

You're my best friend wasn't in the same universe of what I'd thought she was going to say.

"You heard me," Brenna said, walking over my me. "You're my best friend, and I can't just not try and fix things. Maybe that means going days without speaking or plastering on fake smiles for the camera, but please know that whatever it is that I'm doing, I'm still trying to fix things."

I let her words sit with me for a beat. I didn't want to be angry anymore. Carrying it around was exhausting, weighing me down like an anchor.

"Okay," I nodded. "Thanks, I guess."

"Okay," Brenna echoed, momentarily pursing her lips. "Sorry if that was melodramatic, but you're the writer and I just play pretend."

For whatever reason, my mind snapped back to something Allix had before we went to the bonfire on May 16th: once you convince yourself that you're following a script, you won't ever forget your lines. Her cynical perspective had unsettled me then, and while it still did, I finally formed a rebuttal. The way I saw it was that even if we were all following a script, the lines we spoke were still spoken to each other. And more often than not, the truth resided beneath those words - an invisible script that could be deciphered through perception and instinct.

That was why I managed to send a smile Brenna's way.

"I know you're not pretending."