JULY 21

ALLIX

"Is it a date or not?"

Rowena had been interrogating me for the last half-hour, her blue eyes wide in her hunger for details that I wasn't going to give her.

"We'll see," I quipped, avoiding my sister's gaze in the mirror. I knew she would see right through my fragile facade if she looked into my eyes.

"I hate when you're evasive," Rowena pouted, plopping down onto my duvet. "One day you're caught up in some crazy island conspiracy, and the next you're going on a coffee date. Can you please just pick a lane? I can't keep up."

I set down my light-pink tube of mascara, and appraised my makeup one last time before turning to face Rowena. "I don't want you to judge me. I feel like you are."

Rowena clicked her tongue. "Allix, I'm definitely not judging you. If I wanted to judge you on something, it wouldn't be this because honestly, it's way overdue."

I arched my brow. "Is it?"

"Absolutely. You two have been putting this off for a long time."

"Timing is important. You can't rush something like this."

"Timing is a procrastinator's favorite excuse, and nobody actually wants to be a procrastinator."

I leveled Rowena with a cold yet comical glare and pointed at the door. "Out. Get out."

Rowena threw up her hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay, no need to direct your pent up romantic angst at me."

"I don't have any pent up romantic angst."

She snorted. "Well, to whom it may concern, one way to overcome romantic angst is to get in a good-"

I covered my ears, blocking out the vulgar word. "Nope! Not today, Rowena. Not today."

With that, I dropped my phone into my bag and left a giggling Rowena to her devices.

*

When I arrived at the same quaint luncheonette where Brenna hosted the disastrous brunch two months earlier, I was running late once again.

The moment I stepped inside, the sweet scent of baked goods and coffee weaved its way into my lungs. Even though it was a Monday afternoon, there were still plenty of people. That didn't come as a surprise, though; anywhere that served coffee on Friday Island was almost always busy.

I glanced around and noticed one other familiar face sitting in a corner booth with a book. No one else in the luncheonette was paying her any attention, which had been our goal. Besides, the last thing I wanted was to fight off the paparazzi, especially considering what happened with Zachary.

I decided I wasn't going to attempt catching her eye and made my way over to the person I was actually here to meet.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile, sliding into the booth.

"You're late," Hadley stated.

"I had to parallel park," I sighed. "You know I'm not very good at it."

"Yeah. That's why you failed your first driving test."

"Don't remind me."

A waiter swooped by and took our orders. I got a banana muffin to go along with my iced vanilla latte, something that Hadley seemed to find very entertaining.

"So." Hadley folded her hands on the table, her french manicure immaculate. "What are we doing here, Allix?"

"I never wanted us to be on bad terms, and I feel like we are," I admitted, and felt my chest constrict. It was never simple, never easy to be so truthful, but I knew it was necessary. Honesty was how I planned to pave my way forward.

"It's been two years. It doesn't matter anymore."

"It does for me. The Fourth of July wasn't a good night for me."

Hadley feigned surprise. "Really? I didn't notice. How was that cigarette, by the way?"

"Awful," I recalled. "My clothes reeked even after I washed them."

The waiter returned with our orders, and I picked up my fork to begin picking at my muffin.

"I could've been nicer," Hadley admitted, expelling a sigh. "What I said about you finding someone to tolerate your self-destructive bullshit was out of line."

I hummed, taking a moment to swallow a small bite of the warm muffin before speaking again. "It's okay. Are you excited to go back to Seattle?"

"I'm so ready," she lamented, toying with one of her curls. "I used to complain about Friday Island being too sleepy and off the grid, but now it's on every travel blogger's Pacific Northwest bucket list. This summer changed everything."

"You mean Apex has changed everything, right?"

At the mention of the show, Hadley stiffened, and her eyes darted around the room. It had become a sort of taboo on the island.

"I don't know what to believe anymore," she eventually said. "What went down with Maud, that old guy from Pacific King, and the paparazzi, is crazy to me. It's something you'd expect to see on TV, not here."

"That's how I felt," I confessed, managing a thin smile. "In the beginning, I tried to keep my distance, but it was inescapable."

The look Hadley gave me was indecipherable. "The six of you must be close, and some of you closer than before. I know all about your wolf pack from high school."

A small, awkward silence settled between us. I adjusted the napkin in my lap while Hadley checked her phone. It was no secret that the Class of 2019's cool kids once again occupied the center stage of Friday Island drama.

I cleared my throat. "For better or for worse, those were the days that bound us together."

There wasn't much more that I was willing to divulge on that front. I couldn't risk saying something that could possibly come back to haunt me or my friends later.

Thankfully, Hadley took a hint and started talking about how she was going back to college early because she needed to prepare for sorority recruitment (apparently, door chants were a serious task). She also mentioned the fact that she was in an engineering class with Syd during Autumn quarter.

I didn't mind listening to Hadley talk about how much she loved college and her excitement for game days. It gave me hope that my return to college would stir up similar emotions. I was still waiting for them to appear.

"Are you going back to NYU?" Hadley asked after ten minutes of talking. The slight hesitation in her voice almost made it seem like she was expecting me to be uncomfortable. She wasn't too far off the mark.

I nodded and tried to smile, securing a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "That's the plan. I'll fly back to New York in the last week of August."

"That's pretty soon," Hadley remarked. "Well, sooner than me, at least. I sort of hate the quarter system"

"Right." I stabbed at my half-eaten muffin with a fork, my appetite wavering. "It'll be nice to leave all of this behind."

We continued to make easy small talk while finishing our coffee, and the light in the luncheonette changed with late afternoon shadows creeping across the walls. When it was time to pay the bill, I covered it without asking, and Hadley didn't protest. After all, today was my idea.

I was the first to stand up, sliding the strap of my bag onto one shoulder and glancing down at my phone. A text from Brenna occupied the screen.

BRENNA QUINN, 3:34 PM: Got bored. You know where to find me.

"Hey, Allix?"

I looked back at Hadley, hope flickering to life inside my chest.

She seemed to hesitate for a second, pressing her lips together before offering up a gentle smile. "I'm glad we did this."

"Me too," I agreed, meaning it wholeheartedly.

Brenna was waiting for me at my Subaru. Unlike earlier in the summer, her outfit lacked the glam and sparkle that would immediately cast her as an outsider. Today, she wore faded Mom jeans and a white Guns N Roses t-shirt. A pair of black Birkenstocks completed the look.

I wondered if Brenna was deliberately trying to tone down her LA style, or if she was conforming to her environment. Maybe it was a mix of both.

Once inside the car, Brenna adjusted her knock-off Ray-Bans to sit on the crown of her head. "So, I take it you're not rekindling old flames?"

"Rekindling old flames wasn't the point of today," I said with a dry half-smile.

She arched a brow as she picked at my cuticles. "I didn't realize you were the type of girl to hang out with her ex for shits and giggles."

I chose to ignore Brenna's jab, focusing instead on my breakup with Hadley. "We fell apart because I fell apart. I would be lying if I said that there wasn't a part of me that blamed Hadley for why I was such a mess junior year, and that wasn't fair of me to do. I also wasn't the nicest to her on the Fourth of July."

"So, you wanted to apologize?"

"I wanted to clear the air. I'm tired of suffocating on my mistakes."

Brenna stared at me for a long moment before scoffing and shaking her head. "Wow, it all makes sense now. You wanted me here to witness you being mature and sensible while making amends with someone you let down."

I smirked, pleased that Brenna had figured out part of my plan, though keeping it a secret hadn't been my intention. "That's not the only reason," I said, dipping a hand into my bag and pulling out a photo. It was the one I stole from Conrad's trailer, the one that offered proof of his relationship with Gretchen England.

When I held it up for Brenna to see, her eyes widened. "So that's the dirt you dug up at Conrad's trailer. You sneaky bitch."

"I want to know what you think I should do with it."

"You want my opinion?"

I nodded but didn't elaborate. Brenna needed to stay humble for a while longer.

"Okay,"she said after a beat, and then gave me a pointed look. "I think you already know."

"Leaking the photo will rock the boat."

"But it'll come out eventually, so it might as well be now." Brenna paused, pulling her lower lip between her teeth. "Are you going to tell Dakota?"

"I was hoping you could do that for me," I confessed, making an effort to remain nonchalant.

"I thought you wanted to clear the air."

"That air is clear."

"Bullshit."

I narrowed my eyes at Brenna for a moment before giving in. I wasn't going to lie to her when lying was what currently had the actress skating on thin ice. "There's probably more to it than either of us is willing to let on." Brenna rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to protest, but I held up a hand. "Except now isn't the time or place to talk about this."

"Ah, yes, but there is a this to talk about."

"Maybe, but there's something else that we should talk about. I promise it will be a better use of our time."

As if sensing that the tone of our conversation was about to switch once more, Brenna's playful smile vanished.

"Okay," Brenna said, sounding defeated. She seemed to be preparing herself for a scolding, but that wasn't my goal. That wouldn't be productive.

I understood Brenna's motives for hiring Zachary to keep tabs on Maud. She was only doing what she genuinely believed was in her best interest, and when the time came to own up to her mistakes, she did. That was far more than I'd done for a long time.

Swallowing my nerves, I twisted a little in my seat to look at Brenna. "It's about the five months that I was gone," I began and summoned the strength to continue. I wondered if talking about it would ever get easier.

Brenna stayed silent throughout the entirety of my explanation, though her expression softened when I revealed why I was an emotional trainwreck on the Fourth of July.

It felt good to open up to someone else, liberating in a way that I hadn't anticipated. While there was still some shame bottled up inside me, I was becoming more comfortable with the truth.

"I understand that you were trying to protect yourself," I told her. "It's how I felt when I lied about why I was missing my second semester at NYU."

Brenna frowned. "That's different."

I shook my head, remembering how Dakota said the same thing when I explained my position. "Maybe it is for some people, but not for me. I want to forgive you."

Brenna stared at me, her eyes glassy with unshed tears. "You mean that?"

"I do, and I want you to know that I have your back," I said, my voice a fraction softer. "I would hate for you to hop on the ferry and flee Washington forever."

"I won't, and thank you," Brenna sniffed. "I'm forever in your debt."

I stuck my key into the ignition, and the engine rumbled to life. "You're not. Forgiveness is earned, not owed."